Here's to Strategy
by LauraLoo7
Summary: Bella Swan is the CEO of a successful marketing firm in Washington, and she's worked hard to get there. When her VP hires a new manager from a competitor, Bella demands perfection. But this guy thinks he's the best thing since sliced bread. Who will win?
1. Chapter 1: Time is money, honey

_Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just decided it was time to shake things up a bit in her characters' world. And I wanted a bitchy Bella, so here we go! _

_Oh, and all of the references used in this story in relation to the advertising and marketing company and accounts are only used here for entertainment purposes; no copyright infringement intended._

_Enjoy and review (be kind, but honest)!_

Chapter One: Time is money honey

"Excuse me. I asked for a hot, black coffee with two Sweet 'n Lows. This is not black and it tastes like it has cream and a pound of sugar in it." _Jesus. How fucking hard is it to make a damn cup of coffee?_ Fuming and out of patience, I pushed the cup back into the coffee shop girl's hand, crossed my arms and began tapping my foot in irritation as she stammered an apology and then disappeared again. If she didn't hurry her ass up, I was going to be late for my weekly progress meeting. And I am _never_ late.

"I'm so sorry ma'am. This is free of charge. Again, I'm s-sorry," she repeated as I grabbed the cup from her and turned on my heel, dismissing her with a wave of my hand over my shoulder. Thankfully (for her), she got it right on the second try, and I happily sipped my brew as I drove downtown. The clock on the dash of my silver Audi A4 read 7:39, and I smiled as I punched the accelerator and wove in and out of the early morning traffic. _God I love this car._ Six minutes later I was waiting for the gate of the parking garage to open, and I slid into my designated parking space, checking the clock once more. A green and white sign stated that the spot was mine: "Reserved for B. Swan, Swan & Platte." Two minutes later, I was in the elevator and it dinged as I reached the tenth floor of our offices. As I breezed through the double clear-glass doors, the two names etched on the surface at eye level, I tossed my coat and briefcase in the direction of my assistant's desk and continued into my office. With ten minutes to spare, I looked at myself in the full-length mirror on the back of the door, straightened my suit jacket and smoothed my pulled back hair, and strode out again. My assistant Jessica met me in the corridor, scurrying to catch up with me, a pile of files in her arms and a fresh cup of coffee in her other hand.

"Ms. Swan, the Patagonia, UofW, Delta Western and Huppin's accounts are all here for you to look at, and the reps will have updates on all of the other accounts you have requested. Here are your messages, and I also signed for a package you received just before you arrived. Your dry cleaning is hanging in your office closet and you have a lunch meeting with Ms. Platte at one." She stopped to breathe as we reached the conference room, and I took the coffee and the files from her and entered. As usual, I was early and took my seat at the head of the long mahogany table; but today I wasn't alone. _Shit. Suck up Mike Newton just had to get here early too. I fucking hate that._ I managed a half-smile at him, and he grinned back at me like a kid at Christmas. _Ugh. I hate suck ups._ As I sat down and arranged my files for the meeting, people began filing in, so it was easy to avoid idle chit-chat with Mike about how my weekend went, and what funny thing his cat did last night. _Whatever._ My marketing executives – Eric, Tyler, Angela, Mike and Jacob – were some of the best in the business, and aside from the work that my partner, Esme, and I did to make this company one of the largest and most successful firms in Washington, I considered myself fortunate to have a good team. We had worked hard to get here, and I expected perfection from my employees.

"Good morning everyone. Thank you for being prompt," I said, looking down the table at them. "I've got a full schedule again today, so let's just get into our agenda. Who would like to start?" Mike eagerly raised his hand and took a breath, and I fought the urge to roll my eyes as he launched into an update of his accounts. It was a mandatory part of our schedule here for the execs to provide me with status reports. As president and CEO, it was ultimately my responsibility that our clients were kept happy and that their business was flourishing because of our services. Esme, my trusted partner and vice president, preferred mostly to deal with the "softer" business issues at Swan & Platte, and that suited me just fine. I took notes as each person spoke; everyone, it appeared, was making progress and rolling out new ideas and strategies to the clients. I was pleased.

After our meeting was concluded, everyone quickly left the room to get back to work, but Angela stayed behind. I was too busy re-organizing my files and thinking about my next engagement to notice her, until she quietly cleared her throat and said, "Excuse me, Ms. Swan?" Somewhat startled and a little bothered that she hadn't gone back to her desk, I glanced up at her, my browns pulled together. She looked like a deer in headlights. _Does she have some sort of social phobia? Got on with it already._ "What is it Angela?"

"Ms. Swan, I was, um, wondering, um, whether it would be alright if…if I took the afternoon off." She seemed to shrink down and hide behind the folders she held to her chest, her mouth now obscured from view. I assessed her as I deliberated her request. She was always early to the office, worked hard, and despite her shyness, was quite successful at managing her clients and meeting deadlines. Hardly what I would have expected from a good marketing executive, but I had always appreciated her contribution to the company. But it was Monday, and already she wanted time off? As I was internalizing this, she interrupted my train of thought, seemingly needing to fill the silence with an explanation. "It's my sister. She's getting married, and I promised her I would go with her to look for her wedding dress. And, well…she got an appointment for this afternoon."

"Angela, I'm sorry but I can't simply release you from your duties here because your sister was inconsiderate enough to get an appointment to look for her dress on a Monday afternoon. I'm sure you have plenty of work that needs to be done, and I would be remiss if I allowed our clients to suffer because you want to go shopping." With my denial of her request, her whole body seemed to shrink even more, and she nodded and quickly left. I instantly dismissed the conversation and walked out of the conference room, my mind occupied. _On to my next meetings and then lunch with Esme._

The morning went by in a blur, filled with meetings with some of our larger, high-profile clients and phone calls. Before long, Jessica knocked on my door, reminding me of my one o'clock lunch with Esme. I nodded, not bothering to look up, and dismissed her with a wave of my hand. I grabbed my coat and briefcase on my way out the door, and then eased the Audi out of the parking garage and toward our usual lunchtime meeting place. The Chapel was one of my favorite places, and Esme and I made a habit of meeting there for lunch often. I was the first to arrive, of course, and the maitre d seated me right away. I ordered a Pellegrino and was looking at the menu when my partner rushed in, her cheeks flushed.

"Sorry Bella. I got stuck in traffic on my way here," she exclaimed, stooping to kiss me on the cheek before sitting down. "What a morning! And I have the best news to tell you!"

Esme and I had gone to college and then grad school together, and it was there that we hatched our business plan and started a fledgling advertising and marketing agency. If I said it was easy, I'd be lying through my teeth. We fought and toiled for every small local boutique and business we acquired, and she and I took pride in the fact that we had managed to keep almost all of those original clients to this day, ten years later. I liked to think it was because all of our clients loved us; regardless of Swan & Platte's success and the heft of its clientele, we never forgot where we began, and always put as much dedication into our large clients' campaigns as the startups and mom and pops. This was a unique calling card for our firm, and one I hoped would carry this company far beyond Esme's and my time there.

Glancing over to my partner, I watched her unravel her designer lightweight scarf from around her neck, blow her hair away from her eyes and gulp down her glass of water like she was running a marathon. _Esme, the scatterbrain. Always a bit rushed and frazzled._ She and I were such opposites; that's why our partnership worked so well, I reasoned. Esme was the yin to my yang, the frosting on my otherwise bland cupcake. We just clicked. She saw the big picture and the people that make the machine work; I saw tasks, deadlines and dollars and the gears and the goop that builds up when they're not properly maintained. Needless to say, she was the one who largely dealt with our employees and listened to them about their problems. Our waiter came, took our lunch orders, and Esme's drink order, and left us to continue.

"Umm, Bella, I wanted to mention something that happened this morning at the office," Esme began. I was barely paying attention to her, responding to an email on my Blackberry. She cleared her throat, and I glanced up and looked at her expectantly, urging her to continue. "It's Angela. She came to me very upset and crying, and told me what happened. Why would you say such a thing?" I cocked my head in confusion, and mentally replayed what I remembered of our short conversation.

"What do you mean? She asked me for the afternoon off, and on a Monday, to go shopping with her sister. I hardly saw justification for the indulgence." _We can't start poor workplace habits, and I am not going to set a bad precedent._ Esme sighed and began again.

"B, it wasn't _just_ a shopping trip; Angela is the maid of honor and it's her sister's wedding. These things are important to most people, and she came to me prepared to give her notice." I scoffed at Esme's statement, incredulous that my simple effort to run a tight ship at the office would lead someone like Angela to quit. _Give me a fucking break. If she can't maintain a professional decorum, maybe she should quit._ I voiced my thoughts to Esme, and her mouth dropped open. Then I was reminded of another thing from my brief exchange with Angela and I asked Esme another question before she could say a word.

"Esme, she looked at me like she was…scared. Why? Do I frighten people?" She chuckled and shook her head.

"Do you really want to know Bella?" I nodded, adding, "Of course."

"Yes. You do. Angela _is_ frightened by you; everyone is, really. You're a powerful, demanding boss and a hell of a businesswoman, and it's scary. You don't put up with any bullshit. They all want to do the best they can, not let you down, and I think their desire to please you equates to fear – which _can_ be healthy." _Fine, so they're scared of me. Fear breeds respect and like Esme said, it's healthy._ But her face expressed concern and she continued.

"I think you're missing the big picture here, B," she said kindly. "What happened with Angela is the sort of thing that happens a lot at the office. I can't tell you how many employees I talk down on a regular basis. And it's not just the marketing execs and the ad reps; even our public relations people are scared of you, and they deal with some really difficult people in their day-to-day." She paused to wait for my reaction to this revelation.

"Esme, we've been doing this for ten years. How is it that you've never told me about this," I asked, my voice rising slightly. I was irked that she was bringing this up _now_, because of a simple choice I had made.

"It wasn't always like this Bella, and that's why I never brought it up," she said. "But you've gotten rougher over the years and it's starting to wear folks thin." _Well, I'm _so_ sorry to have been the mean boss lady. If they want to be coddled, though, they're in the wrong business._

"Esme, we're running a business here, not a daycare," I said, indignant. "I refuse to placate my employees, and if they determine my methods are too harsh for their delicate sensibilities, they can find employ elsewhere. Besides, that's what you do so well, isn't it?" It was hitting a bit below the belt, but fuck it, I was angry.

She stared into her glass, and I sensed her defeat; Esme knew she wasn't going to win this battle, and she knew damn well I wasn't going to come back into the office tomorrow and bring puppies and rainbows with me. The waiter arrived then with our lunch, and we settled into conversation about other things, between bites. I suddenly remembered that Esme had news, and inquired as to what she had to share.

"Oh, yes, of course. I had an informal meeting yesterday afternoon with our new advertising and marketing manager…I think," she whispered excitedly. "He's been in the business almost as long as we have, and works at our biggest competitor." She paused for effect and I raised my brow to prompt her. "He's been unhappy there for a while; he told me he doesn't like where the firm is going and that it's getting too corporate and impersonal. Bella, he's more than qualified for Tanya's position, and we've been struggling since she left. I know _you've_ been struggling with the extra workload. I've made him an offer to come and work for us, and he's considering it. I thought we should discuss salary and timeframe. And of course, if you'd like to interview him beforehand, I can schedule that."

Of course, I was thrilled with the concept of filling Tanya's vacated position, and I trusted Esme's judgment entirely. She had adeptly hired all of my best account executives, and was an excellent judge of character. This potential new hire could be our biggest acquisition this year. Esme, as if she was reading my mind, pushed his resume across the table to me. Looking at it, I saw that he was indeed qualified for the position, and possibly a bit more so than necessary. _We'll have to make it a very appealing offer._ Passing the document back to Esme, I realized we needed to get back to the office, and I hailed the waiter for the check. "Esme, I want to make this happen. Let's discuss an offer tomorrow morning; maybe he'll have decided by then that Swan & Platte is where he should be. And if you don't hear from him by tomorrow morning, we'll get him on a conference call and really pull out all the stops. I'm willing to go the distance on this one. There's no need for me to interview him; time is of the essence here, and I know you've met with him. That's all I need to know."

She and I rose from the table, and as we walked back to our cars, I realized I hadn't even looked at the name at the top of the sheet. _The man looks like a dream on paper, and I hadn't even taken a moment to know his name. Bad form, B._ "Oh, Esme, what's his name?" She gave me a goodbye kiss on the cheek, said, "See you back at the office," and added before she turned the corner, "Oh, and his name is Edward Cullen."


	2. Chapter 2: Baggage

_Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just decided it was time to shake things up a bit in her characters' world. And I wanted a bitchy Bella, so here we go! _

_Oh, and all of the references used in this story in relation to the advertising and marketing company and accounts are only used here for entertainment purposes; no copyright infringement intended._

_Enjoy and review (be kind, but honest)!_

**Chapter Two: Baggage**

The next morning Esme and I discussed our strategy for acquiring Mr. Edward Cullen, complete with our salary offer and benefits package, and then we placed a call to his cell phone. Esme informed me that he was going to be home in the morning, allowing us to discuss our proposition freely. We sat in my office with the door closed, and his phone rang three times before there was a click on the other end.

"Hello, Edward Cullen speaking." His voice was like velvet, and immediately I was pleased, thinking that it would no doubt come in handy with coworkers and clients. Esme announced herself and said hello, and then introduced me.

"Mr. Cullen, as you are well aware, Esme and I would love to have you here at Swan & Platte, and we're quite willing to make it worth your trouble," I said. "I have also viewed your impressive resume and Esme has informed me of your discussions leading up to this conversation. I'd like to know where you stand." There was a brief pause, and then Edward spoke again.

"Thank you Ms. Swan. As I told Esme, I have been with the firm for almost five years, but for some time now, I have been considering a change. I take immense pride in what I do there, but it was made clear to me that my vision differs from theirs, and so it seems we are at an impasse. I admire your company's founding principles, as well as your dedication to your large _and_ small clients. And I think I have a lot to offer. I'd like to come work for you – for you both." His words lingered in the air, and we both looked at each other. I confirmed his position with our company, and then Esme silently clapped and jumped up and down in her seat; I smiled, satisfied. We discussed salary and other details, and I told Edward I'd have paperwork faxed to his home for him to complete before he began work. The three of us agreed that the sooner he could start,

the better, and settled on Friday, giving him that day with Esme for orientation. Before hanging up, he thanked us both once more and added, "You won't be sorry you hired me." _Pretty bold statement, but I admire his confidence._

"Oh Bella, we need to celebrate this-tonight! I know it's the middle of the week, but this definitely calls for some drinks," Esme squealed. I really did love how energized she got over these things, and of course, I couldn't say no.

"Okay Esme, but can I invite the girls out with us? I know Alice would be traumatized if she missed out on an opportunity to dress up." She and I solidified our plans, and I called to make a reservation for four, in case we decided to eat dinner. Esme went back to her office, humming, and I sent a quick text to Alice and Rose to alert them.

_The Alibi Room at nine_. The rest of the day flashed by me, and before she left for the night, Esme popped her head into my office.

"B, don't work too late, okay? Make sure you give yourself enough time to relax for a while before you get ready. And wear something sexy. You never know." Before I could even mutter a word in protest, she was down the hall and out the door.

Pushing back my desk chair and stretching, I considered our new employee. I had to admit it excited me; I thought again about him and his voice drifted back to me. _It was incredibly smooth, confident but not obviously cocky, clear but not too loud._ Checking my watch, I grabbed my things and headed out, shutting off the lights and locking up as I went. Once home, I stripped out of my suit and hung it up neatly with another that I'd have Jessica send out for cleaning. Since I had more than an hour to spare, I read a few stories in the business section of the paper while leaning against my granite center island, and made myself a martini to unwind a bit. It always took a great effort for me to unwind after work, which is, undoubtedly, why Esme had made a point to mention relaxing. _That woman knows me much too well._

Bored with the paper, I quickly checked my Blackberry for new work emails and then jumped in the shower. The hot water soothed my knotted muscles, and I made a mental note to sign up for another yoga class at my gym the next day. After turning off the water, I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around me and padded into my bedroom.

Reluctantly, I pushed all of the suits and work clothes in my closet aside, reaching far back into its recesses for my jeans and less formal attire. I couldn't even remember the last time I wore jeans. Thankfully my slight frame had been the same size since my freshman year in college, so I pulled them easily over my hips. I slipped a red silk Robert Rodriguez top over my head and then stepped into my black Louboutin pumps, assessing my appearance in the mirror. Red was a power color, I learned long ago, and it brought some much-needed warmth to my pale skin. Moving into my master bathroom once more, I let my long chestnut hair out of the messy bun and ran my fingers through it, massaging my scalp. With a coat of mascara, I was done, and walked back into the kitchen, grabbed my purse, keys and my leather blazer and was out the door, just as my cell phone buzzed.

"Hey Alice. I'm leaving now. I'll be there in fifteen," I told her, not even waiting for a hello from the other end.

"Bella – what are you wearing? You'd better be dressed up chickie!" _That's Alice- always mindful of the important things in life. Like how long it's been since I got laid. Or shared my toothbrush holder with someone._ I knew what she was driving at, and my temper flared. "Please don't give me shit, Ali. I'm wearing jeans, a nice top and my fuck-me pumps, okay? Now get your ass to the bar and I'll see you and Rose there soon."

She chirped an excited goodbye, impervious to my bossiness, and I jumped into my car and eased out of the garage and into traffic. The place was surprisingly busy for a Tuesday night, and as I gave my keys to the valet, I was relieved I had made a reservation. Esme, Alice and Rosalie were walking toward me as I got to the door, chatting amicably, with Alice jumping and clapping her hands occasionally, her short hair bouncing with her.

"Hey girls," I said, kissing each of them in greeting. Alice launched again into her squealing. "So, Esme tells us we're celebrating tonight – tell us all about it!" Rose smiled at her and rolled her eyes. "Let's get a damn table first and some drinks, ok Alice?"

We were seated immediately and the table afforded us a view of the entire restaurant and bar. Alice and Rose, of course, were happy with this. As soon as we all had our drinks – martinis all around – Esme told the girls about our new hire, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

"That's great news, ladies," Rose said. "Bella, I know it's been a tough few months without Tanya there, despite the fact that she was a less-than-perfect employee." I scoffed at the understatement, and Esme looked at me with pleading eyes as I launched into a diatribe on just how imperfect Tanya was. Tanya worked at Swan & Platte for two years and had always been the consummate professional. She completed her work on-deadline and her ideas were fresh and inventive. But a few weeks before she departed, something changed. Once content with her supervisory position, Tanya began making comments about how _she'd_ run the company if it were hers and complained that she wasn't appreciated as an advertising and marketing manager. Esme made many attempts to ease the tension, but I have no patience for insubordination, and I made it clear that if she did not find work elsewhere that I would fire her. Needless to say, she called the next morning and left Esme a message that she had moved on to another firm.

"I'd like to make a toast, then, to our new hire Mr. Cullen, and to new beginnings for Swan & Platte," Esme said, and we raised our glasses and clinked them. After draining her glass and hailing our waiter for a refill, Alice focused her energies on the next topic of utmost importance.

"So Esme, is this Edward guy hot?" I shook my head in disdain, while Esme turned the same shade as her pomegranate martini, and nodded. "He's quite handsome, actually, and very well-spoken. Ivy league-educated, advanced degrees, and clearly a learned man. And that voice…" She trailed off and sighed into her glass.

"Oh come on, Es, you guys. This is ridiculous," I chastised. "For one, he's a future employee, not a piece of meat. Secondly, it's completely inappropriate for us to be discussing him in this manner. Let his work speak for him-not his looks _or_ his voice."

All three stared at me now with expressions of sympathy, sadness and pity, and I couldn't help but laugh. All three of them treated me like a lost little kitten. I was no cuddly, lost kitten.

"Honey, I think I speak for everyone when I say that it's high time you found yourself a good man," Alice said. Rose nodded in agreement. I didn't even bother looking at Esme; I knew how she felt about my personal life, or lack thereof. "We hate to see you so hardened and indifferent toward the male species. I know it's been a rough few years for you in that department, but that's no reason to swear them off altogether." _Fuck me. I can't believe we're back here-again._ I steeled myself, took a calming breath, and tried to remember that they meant well.

"Look ladies, I am not going to make excuses for why I'm single. It's not a fucking crime, and I actually enjoy the silence, believe it or not," I said, an edge in my voice. "In my opinion I've wasted too many years of my life with shit men who couldn't meet my needs. Sam wanted a family and didn't want to wait until _I_ was ready for one; James was threatened by the fact that I was a successful businesswoman who wasn't going to cook his meals and wipe his ass for him; Paul was volatile and cheated on me; and I won't even mention the others who didn't last more than a few months. I refuse to settle, so I choose to be in a relationship with _me_. And I make _me_ happy."

How could any of them understand me entirely? Rose had been dating Emmett for five years and they were truly made for each other; only Emmett could handle her moods and bouts of self-importance. And only Rose could bring such a bear of a man to his knees with a simple flip of her golden hair. The two were equally strong-willed and dirty-minded. Alice had just recently started dating this wonderful southern gentleman named Jasper, and I could see a change in her demeanor already. When they were together, Alice slowed down a bit from her usually Energizer bunny speed; he seemed to relax her. I couldn't have been happier for them. And Esme seemed to attract men like a magnet; I reasoned that it was her open personality and her unrelenting capacity for unconditional love that pulled people to her. I, on the other hand, could not boast such a talent.

"But Bella, you can't treat the men you date like business deals," Esme pleaded. "I love you, and I say this with the greatest respect, but you need to work…on your people skills." _Not this shit again. No more fucking lectures on how I needed to 'soften' my image or work to be more feminine and vulnerable. I just can't do it. _I glared at her.

As if she sensed that this conversation would go nowhere, Rosalie mercifully started talking about her and Emmett's latest camping trip, and I sat back in my chair as I listened to them chat.

So what if I didn't have a man? I didn't have _time_ for love, romance or any of that corny shit. Contrary to what popular belief, most women can't actually have it all. Something always suffers, and in my case undoubtedly it was my relationship track record. But I had my work, and it kept me more than busy.

Absentmindedly I scanned the room looking at the other 30-somethings gathered around the bar and at the hightop tables. Some of the men were attractive, but even as I tried to catch their attention, it never prompted any of them to come over to our table. Even when I wandered over to the bar to get the next round, thinking if I were alone it would be less intimidating, not a single guy came over to me. _God, do I have some kind of damned stamp on my forehead? Warning: Lots of baggage. Proceed with caution._ I smiled at the joke I'd made at my own expense, and went back to the table with the drinks. Maybe I'd work on being more approachable – maybe for New Year's.

Then again, maybe not.


	3. Chapter 3: First Day

_Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just decided it was time to shake things up a bit in her characters' world. And I wanted a bitchy Bella, so here we go! _

_Oh, and all of the references used in this story in relation to the advertising and marketing company and accounts are only used here for entertainment purposes; no copyright infringement intended._

_Enjoy and review (be kind, but honest)!_

_And a special thanks to my whiz of a beta, flyingchipmunk (Awesome Amanda) who is training me well in the ways of shorter paragraphs. She's also great for cutting up my sentences into more manageable bites. Yum!_

_Thanks also to born2speakmirth for also helping me with my paragraphs and to Selita – you know why chickie! _

**Chapter Three: First day**

The remainder of the week was hectic, and I kept my head down, nose to the proverbial grindstone. After meetings with prospective clients, status reports from my other divisions, discussions with Esme on human resources and paperwork, the days blurred together and it was soon Friday.

I took my usual route to the office, stopping to get my coffee on the way (this time the person behind the counter got it right the first time) and I pulled into my space in the garage, right next to Esme's car. _She's earlier than me today_, I mused, and then I realized it was Mr. Cullen's first day.

The offices were empty at this time of the morning, the two of us being the exception, and as I dropped my coat and briefcase on Jessica's desk, Esme walked out of her corner office and greeted me with an eager grin.

"Morning Bella. I'm so anxious," she exclaimed. "Edward faxed me all of his finished paperwork late yesterday and I've left it with Pam in human resources, so he's all set. He will be here at eight-thirty, and I'll show him around the office and get him settled, and then I've arranged for him to sit down with the execs he'll be managing, and then you and I have a meeting with him this afternoon at one, okay?" She did all that, I was sure, in one breath, and when she finished she seemed exhausted.

"Thanks Esme. I'm sure you'll make the transition as smooth as possible for everyone," I said, opening my office door. "Please let me know when he arrives; until that time, I have a pile of paperwork to attend to."

A short while later as I was checking my email, Jessica burst through the double glass doors like a pink tornado and half-ran past my office to her desk. Moments later there was a soft knock on my door.

"Come in," I said, and she entered, looking apologetic.

"Ms. Swan, I'm so sorry I'm late." She walked to my desk and handed me a handful of paper messages, and a fresh cup of coffee.

Without looking up, I handed her a couple of files for her to enter into our client database, and put my hand up before she continued her act of contrition.

"Jessica, I understand both Ms. Platte and I are here earlier than usual, but I do still expect you to be at work on-time, and that means _before_ eight o'clock. It is now eight-ten. Please don't let me have to mention this again." Now I glanced up at her, and her face matched the dark pink of her blouse.

She stammered a few more apologies and quietly left my office. _Sweet Jesus she never shuts up._ Attempting to refocus on my paperwork, I was again interrupted by the sound of her shrill voice on my intercom.

"Ms. Swan, Ms. Platte wanted me to let you know that Mr. Cullen has arrived."

_Very nice. Almost twenty minutes early. I hope this is an indication of his work ethic, and not just a first-day fluke._ I did a brief check in the mirror to make sure my suit and my pulled back hair were smooth and neat, and met Esme in the hall. We walked out to the small reception area together to greet him, and he stood as we approached, extending his hand. Esme reached out to grasp it eagerly, as I hung back and took in his appearance, suddenly struggling to keep my professional air.

He was gorgeous. Not model-gorgeous, as in too pretty for the corporate world. His features were refined, elegant and disturbingly _perfect_. Dressed impeccably in a very expensive-looking charcoal suit and black shoes, he stood straight, _very_ tall and confident as he shook Esme's hand and smiled. His hair was arranged in flawless disarray, which I felt certain was anything but unintentional, and it had coppery highlights under the office lighting. The line of his nose was straight and regal, with just the slightest bump on the bridge, suggesting he might have broken it at some point. His jaw was strong, defined and sharp enough to inflict major damage. _Damn. Holy shit. Fuck. Me._

All of this I noticed in the span of the few seconds it took for Mr. Cullen to greet Esme, before turning his gaze on me. And when he did, I nearly lost my composure completely. His piercing green eyes seemed to go right through me, and suddenly I had disappeared, only to be replaced by a silly, bumbling girl with shaky knees. And then he opened his mouth, and I was done.

"Ms. Swan, it's a pleasure to finally meet you. I'm Edward Cullen." Two short sentences and I just stood there, gaping at him like an imbecile. Esme, taking pity on what must have been quite a spectacle, cleared her throat, and I regained enough use of my brain to welcome him and offer my hand.

"Hello, Mr. Cullen. Welcome to Swan & Platte. Again, we are so glad to have you with us." _Okay, that sounded professional, right?_ I was amazed at the effect he had on me, and I chided myself for acting this way. _Get it the fuck together Bella. He is your new advertising and marketing manager, not Adonis in human form. Ridiculous._ I realized I was still shaking his hand, and quickly withdrew it. He offered a crooked smile and looked again to Esme, as she explained the day's orientation. Needing to distance myself from him, I walked ahead of them through the office doors and excused myself.

Esme reminded me we'd meet later that day and I curtly wished Mr. Cullen good luck and said I'd see him in the afternoon. I didn't wait for a reply and I didn't look back at them as I shut my door. Leaning against it, I tried to put the pieces of my brain back together, again chastising myself for the very uncharacteristic behavior. No one could unhinge me like that; no one ever had. I could not allow Mr. Cullen to do it. I would not allow him to do it.

I threw myself into some work to occupy the time and distract myself, and it worked until I left the office for a quick lunch before my afternoon meeting – _with him_.

As I sped back into the garage and screeched to a stop in my parking space, I prepared myself with a little pep talk. _You are better than this, Isabella Swan. You have not worked your ass off to be undone by a boy. Not get your shit together and silence your hormones._ Resolved, I decided to take the stairs back to the tenth floor, and by the time I got to the door, my cheeks were flushed and I was slightly winded, but feeling better. With fifteen minutes before the meeting I put my suit jacket back on, made sure my stockings were still secure under their clasps and smoothed out my bun. I took a deep breath, gathered my things, and made for the conference room. Thankfully I was the first one there and used the time to arrange my papers and make some notes.

A few minutes later, Esme walked in, with Mr. Cullen in-tow. They both smiled and sat down, with Esme to my left and him taking the seat across the table, on my right. Before he could open his mouth, I began.

"Mr. Cullen, I am sure you are quite familiar with how things work here, but I wanted to review your responsibilities as the ad and marketing manager," I said. "They will be slightly more demanding here than what you are used to, and I want to make sure we are all on the same page as to what will be expected." He nodded, so I continued. "You will be in charge of the ad and promotion staff, as well as our marketing staff, as you know. You will be expected to check in regularly with your subordinates and ensure that the needs of their clients are being met, and then report this information to me. You will also work with the marketing department on all in-house products, cultivate and present new potential markets, and keep abreast of trends and our competitors. In short, Esme is my right hand, and you now are my left. You and I will work together quite a bit, particularly in the next month or so as I transfer to you all of the duties I took on when your position was vacated. Is this clear?"

He put on a nearly perfect façade of assurance and determination, but I could see that beneath that, he looked a bit overwhelmed. But his reply, not surprisingly, belied his expression.

"Quite, Ms. Swan. I understand all of my responsibilities, and am ready to take on any duty you give me. I will consider this a challenge, to which I will surely rise, and I thank you both for having the confidence in me to provide me with the opportunity to prove myself. I am very certain that in no time, Ms. Swan, you will find your job much easier." And with what I swore was a smug-ass smile, he leaned back slightly in the chair, his emerald green eyes taunting me. Challenging me.

I narrowed my eyes at him, but didn't say anything more, and his expression remained while Esme discussed his team members. It was the longest meeting I had ever had, and I was partly relieved when we had finished discussing the ad and marketing teams, our current accounts and upcoming projects, and we all stood up to leave. Esme looked at me, and then at Mr. Cullen as I gave him another judging stare and he returned it.

"Thank you very much Mr. Cullen; that will be all," she said, in an effort to ease the palpable tension.

He nodded, packed up his things and said, "Thank you both. I'll get right to work." And then he was gone.

Esme looked over at me in desperation now, and I glared at her. "What," I asked sarcastically, as I studied my files.

She sighed and then said, "Please Bella. We need him." I laughed loudly and then set my jaw, and asked her to join me in my office. Once we got there I shut the door behind her, and she sank into a chair on the other side of my desk, looking exasperated.

"Esme, I don't like him," I told her. "He's cocky and confrontational. He was challenging me, insinuating that I couldn't handle doing the work of two people. The job he now occupies is much too important to leave to someone not willing to take it seriously. I am _not_ going to put up with his attitude."

"Bella, don't do this," she pleaded. I crossed my arms like a stubborn child, but she kept going. "He wasn't doing any of those things; he was thanking us and showing us he's eager to take on the responsibility. You're reading into his words, which _I _thought were very respectful and professional. And I like him. It's his first day; please give this some time."

Begrudgingly I agreed, and Esme patted my hand before leaving me to my thoughts. I worked straight through the rest of the afternoon, preparing account files for Mr. Cullen and making calls to clients. It would be a relief to hand over some of this work, I realized. Until today I had been working a lot of fourteen-hour days and weekends too, and lightening my burden would actually allow me to try to have some semblance of a life.

I shuddered suddenly, and looked out my window. When did it get dark? I looked out the large opaque window next to my door and realized there was no movement on the other side. Everyone had left for the night, and I was alone. Esme hadn't even popped in to say good night; she must still be mad at me for my comments about Mr. Cullen.

I checked my email once more, typed a few responses and shut off my desk lamp and stretched. It was eight-fifteen, and my stomach suddenly remembered it was hungry, so I packed up my briefcase and pulled my coat from the rack outside my office. I was heading for the door when I light down the hall caught my eye. _Edward Cullen is still here. Damn. What is he trying to prove?_ Ignoring my internal voice, I slowly walked down to his office; the door was open and the light poured out into the dimly lit hall. I knocked quietly on the window and moved into the doorway, trying to arrange my features into a believable and friendly smile. He looked up as I entered, and smiled crookedly.

"Mr. Cullen, you're here late this evening," I stated, and he smiled again. "I hope you don't think that by staying here later than me, you'll impress anyone." His smile faltered, and then he squared his shoulders back and glared at me.

"No, Ms. Swan, that was not my intention. I am simply trying to get a start on all of the files you gave me today and to be honest, they seem a bit disorganized. I have my work cut out for me, and I wanted to get a jump before the weekend." _How dare he insult my work on those files!_ I was instantly incensed, and started to open my mouth, but he cut me off, rising from behind his desk.

"Please excuse me Ms. Swan, but it's late, I'm tired and I have a dinner date this evening." He pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger and my eyes lingered on his long fingers until he opened his eyes. _Maybe I'm giving him a headache. Good. He's being a pain in my ass._ He stepped around his desk and me, and reached for his coat. I should have offered to walk out with him, but I was pissed off and hungry. And he had a dinner date, so I said a curt good night to him and walked out.

Pressing the elevator button with no success, I gave up and took the stairs, running down them as fast as my legs would carry me so I could beat him to the garage. By the time I pushed the door open at the ground level, I was a bit sweaty and out of breath, but with one glance to either side, I realized I was alone, and hurried to my car. _Son of a bitch. So sorry to keep you from your date._ I peeled out of my spot and the garage, and sped off.

_If he fucking thinks he can get the better of me, he's got another thing coming. No one makes a fool out of me and lives to tell the tale. And he'd rather go out to dinner with some flake, no doubt, than get work done. What a slacker._ I realized I was going a bit too fast on the downtown streets, and eased off the gas. What was wrong with me? Why was I so keyed up? It was late, after all, and he _was_ working. And why did I care if he had a date? People eat dinner all the time; in fact, I needed to acquire some myself. I turned the corner and pulled into my garage, flipped open my cell and called Alice to make dinner plans with her and the other girls. As I hung up with her, it occurred to me: I was jealous. _Fuck._


	4. Chapter 4: Boss from hell

_Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just decided it was time to shake things up a bit in her characters' world. And I wanted a bitchy Bella, so here we go! _

_Oh, and all of the references used in this story in relation to the advertising and marketing company and accounts are only used here for entertainment purposes; no copyright infringement intended._

_Enjoy and review (be kind, but honest)!_

_And a special thanks to my whiz of a beta, Flyaway Dove (Awesome Amanda) who is training me well in the ways of shorter paragraphs. She's also great for cutting up my sentences into more manageable bites. Yum!_

_Thanks to Selita – you know why chickie! _

And now you all get to hear from Edward! Trust me – this guy has a lot to say!

**Chapter Four: Bitch Boss from hell**

_**EPOV**_

My meeting with Ms. Swan and Esme had been painful, to say the least. If it weren't for Esme being there, I might have jumped out the window to save myself the agony of _her_ Royal Bitchiness. She spoke as if I were a lesser being than her, as if I had no idea what I was doing at Swan & Platte, and as if I were a disciplinary case, not her new advertising and marketing head. Damn it, I had earned the title, I reasoned, and after all, she and Esme had courted _me_.

My anger and frustration had allowed me to plow through my first day, and I was surprised at how much I accomplished. It was a lot, even for me. Being the sweetheart, Esme had attempted to calm me, and assured me that under the hardened exterior there lived a fair and sensible woman with a beating heart. But that evening when she walked into my office, I was sure none of that was true.

I'd never met anyone who enraged me as she did. That morning when she and Esme walked through the doors to greet me, I'd had no clue what I was in for. I think my heart skipped a few beats, actually.

Isabella Swan was a knockout. She was tall and slender, with a creamy complexion and deep brown eyes. Her chocolate brown hair was pulled back into a bun and that, combined with her glasses, evoked a school boy/teacher fantasy that I had to quickly squelch. I took in her attire, starting at her feet (black, shiny heels), traveling up her legs (very nice, and in stockings) and to her pin-striped black skirt suit. This CEO definitely looked the part, and I had to force myself to blink because apparently, my brain was no longer cooperating. Offering my hand, I introduced myself. She stood still for a moment, watching me, and I wondered if I was being tested. _Okay, it's game on already, huh?_ But then she shook my hand firmly and welcomed me. _A little weird._ Esme explained what I'd be doing that day, and Ms. Swan excused herself and turned on her heel, leading the way into the office. Again, I was awestruck as she walked away. _Shit. She's got on those seamed stockings. Those make me weak, damn it._

She held herself with such an air of authority; everyone seemed to cower as she walked past. I was intrigued. She called back to me over her shoulder, and said she'd see me later. And then she was gone.

My day went by quickly. Esme was wonderful, making me feel at home and introducing me to everyone at Swan & Platte. She showed me to my office and made sure I was settled before leaving me. _This was a good decision. This is going to be great for my career._ And then the meeting happened, and I couldn't help but feel a bit deflated. And pissed off. Esme seemed to sense this, and ten minutes after I went back to my office I heard a knock, and she appeared a warm smile on her pleasant face.

"Edward, I just wanted to see how you were," she began. "I know Bella can be rough around the edges, and come off as a little condescending, but please let me assure you that she knows how important you are to us. We want you here, Edward, and I hope that you won't let her demeanor deter you from making this position yours." I smiled back, thanked her and said it would be fine. _It's just going to take an adjustment, I guess._

Later that evening, I finally wrapped up my work for the night, and was responding to an email from a colleague, letting him know of my new position, and there was a knock on my window. I couldn't see who it was, but I doubted a member of the cleaning crew would be wearing heels, so I smiled as Ms. Swan entered my doorway. Her smile looked forced. My first inclination was to get out of her way as soon as I could, but before I could give it much more consideration, she spoke.

"Mr. Cullen, you're here late this evening," she said.

_Yes, I have a lot of work to do._ I simply smiled.

"I hope you don't think that by staying here later than me, you'll impress anyone," she said.

_Are you kidding me? Do you really think I'm kissing your ass right now?_ Oh, this bitch wanted to fight. Okay, if that's what you want, I'll play. Trying to keep my tone in check, I answered her as evenly as possible.

"No, Ms. Swan, that was not my intention. I am simply trying to get a start on all of the files you gave me today and to be honest, they seem a bit disorganized. I have my work cut out for me, and I wanted to get a jump before the weekend." _Take that! I am not your doormat!_ She was probably going to come back with something nasty, so I cut her off and got up from my desk. "Please excuse me Ms. Swan, but it's late, I'm tired and I have a dinner date this evening."

She didn't need to know it wasn't really a _date_; now I couldn't get out of there fast enough. Any excuse would have worked. _I'm sorry; I've hit my fucking bitch boss quota for the day and must leave now. God, she's giving me a headache!_

Walking past her I grabbed my coat and she muttered a "good night" and disappeared. Good. As I left the office I dialed Jasper's number on my cell, my eyes seeing red and out for blood – preferably hers.

"Hey Whitlock, I _really _need a drink tonight," I complained as I sped through town toward home.

"Tough first day, kid," he asked.

"You have _no_ idea, man," I answered.

We made plans to go to The Alibi Room and he got off the phone with me to make a reservation. I pulled into my driveway and sat for a minute in my car, trying to calm down.

Isabella Swan was a bitch. And she was my boss. And I was _not_ going to let her force me to quit. If she wanted to play that game, I would be happy to engage her. Smiling now with my strategy in place, I walked to the door and let myself in, throwing my coat and keys on the table. Jasper texted me letting me know we had reservations for nine o'clock, and I showered and shaved, trying to wash away my workday. It felt good to put on my jeans and a sweater; suits were a necessity but they were so stiff. I was a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy, most definitely. I pulled my fingers through my hair and checked my reflection – good. I was on my way out the door when my brother called me, letting me know that he was going to join us a bit later, after he got off his shift at the hospital.

When I got to the restaurant, I spotted Jasper easily and we shook hands and sat down. I saw that he had taken the liberty of ordering me a beer, and I thanked him as I took a long pull.

"Shit man, that bad, huh?"

I rolled my eyes and took another drink, draining the bottle. I motioned for our waiter, and ordered another Heineken. Settling into my second beer, I told Jasper about my first day and my new boss. When I finished, he studied me for a moment, and then started laughing. Less than amused, I punched him, which seemed to silence him for the time being.

"Hey, dickhead, that hurt a little," he complained, rubbing his arm. "Don't you want to know why I was laughing?" I waited for him to continue, and ordered us another round.

"You've got a problem, pal," he said, his southern drawl extending the last word. "Sounds like you've got a real minx on your hands, _and_ she's hot. That's a lethal combination in my book. What the hell you gonna do?"

I raked my hands through my hair in frustration at the situation, and shrugged. What could I do, except give her what she apparently wanted?

"Well, it looks like she's forcing my hand," I quipped. "She wants to play hardball, so that's what I'm going to do." Jasper grinned, and knocked my bottle with his own.

"Here's to strategy, then," he said with a grin.

_Oh, I'll fucking drink to that._

We moved off topic from my work day to Jasper, and he started telling me about the girl he was dating. She was like a little whirling dervish, he said: funny, intelligent and cute, but hard to keep up with. I was happy that Jasper had found someone; he had been devastated when Maria left him. We talked easily about non-work things for a while, and then a hand clapped my back, and I turned to see Carlisle standing behind me.

No one would guess we were brothers; he had blonde hair and blue eyes, and was tanned from his vacation last week to California. He looked like he belonged there, surfing, instead of working in Seattle at a hospital. We said hello and he sat down with us and procured a beer. I filled him in briefly on my day and Jasper again provided his keen observation on how fucked I was. Carlisle laughed and warned me not to get too deeply invested in my "game." Older brothers can be a drag sometimes.

We had ordered our meals and were digging in, when Jasper choked on his salmon. Carlisle and I looked up at him, and his eyes were trained on the entrance. Three beautiful women had just walked into the restaurant, and they were ushered immediately to one of the tables a short distance from ours. One was short and cute, another looked like a model, with blonde hair, and the third was striking, but in a different way from the others. I only got a fleeting glimpse of her face because her hair obscured it from my view, but was entranced as she sat down with her back to us, her long chestnut hair falling in waves down her back.

Jasper's voice brought me back to our table. "…if you guys don't mind, I'm going to go over there and say hello when I finish my meal." Puzzled, I looked at him and asked which one of them he knew. "Oh, that little pixie over there is Alice, the girl I've been seeing," he answered. I studied the three of them briefly, but my gaze lingered on the brunette. There was something about her…

Jasper finished his meal and then waited until the girls had consumed their first round of drinks, and told our waiter to order them another on him. _Always the gentleman. Shit. _ Then he excused himself and strolled over. Carlisle and I chatted, but I found my eyes wandering over to their table. Jasper, I could see, had his arm around Alice and the four of them were talking and laughing, with an occasional exaggerated hand gesture from Alice. It was driving me crazy that I couldn't see more of her friend, so I refocused my attention on Carlisle and his work at the hospital.

This week had been particularly rough; a multiple-car accident with one fatality, a double amputee and a third in critical condition. But Carlisle told me of a little girl who had miraculously managed to survive the crash with only scratches, while her mother had multiple fractures and a concussion. "She was a very lucky little girl," he said wistfully. _Leave it to Carlisle to put things in perspective for me. _

I opened my mouth to agree and out of the corner of my eye I saw a blur of spiked dark hair, and I turned to see Alice and Jasper, back at our table.

"Edward and Carlisle, this is Alice Brandon. Alice, this is Carlisle and Edward Cullen," Jasper said. Alice eagerly shook our hands, and then recognition dawned on her face, and her eyes grew wide.

She clamped her hand over her mouth, looked me up and down, and then squealed, "_You're_ Edward Cullen?"

Even over the din in the crowded restaurant, her voice seemed to bounce off the walls and ceiling, and at that moment, I looked over at her table. As if she had heard Alice quite clearly, the brunette turned in her seat and stared right at me. My mouth dropped open; it couldn't help itself. My mystery brunette was the one and only Isabella Swan. _Fuck. Me._


	5. Chapter 5: Are you kidding me!

_Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just decided it was time to shake things up a bit in her characters' world. And I wanted a bitchy Bella, so here we go! _

_Oh, and all of the references used in this story in relation to the advertising and marketing company and accounts are only used here for entertainment purposes; no copyright infringement intended._

_Enjoy and review (be kind, but honest)!_

_And a special thanks to my whiz of a beta, Flyaway Dove (Awesome Amanda) who is so good at what she does. I'm so lucky to have her!_

_Thanks also to angelicwish for helping me learn the ropes and as always, Lita!_

_Hang on folks…Bella's gonna get a little sloppy! Watch out! _

**Chapter Five: Are you kidding me?**

I blinked hard once, then again, still not believing the scene that was playing out before me. Alice's mystery man was Jasper Whitlock. Jasper was friends with Edward Cullen.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me!"

Realizing I had vocalized my internal exclamation, I looked back to my table at Rose, who was looking at me with a smirk. I was going to slap that smug-ass smile off her face if she didn't lose it.

As if things couldn't get any worse, Esme burst through the door, late as usual, and rushed over to our table, just as I chugged the remainder of my martini. She took one look at Alice over at the guys' table and managed an uncomfortable but polite smile at Edward. She put her hand on my shoulder as I dropped my head into my hands.

"What…did I miss," she asked, half-joking. I simply gestured with the flick of my hand over to the other table.

"Welcome to my nightmare," I grumbled, and let my head fall heavily onto my arm.

*********

Ironically, minutes earlier I had just finished complaining to Alice and Rosalie about my shitty Friday and my punk-ass new ad/marketing manager. I had started in on my second martini when Alice's hot new man came sauntering over to us. Alice squealed with excitement as he approached. Her eyes were saucers as she devoured him, starting at his cowboy boots hidden under tight, perfectly worn jeans, then up to his black t-shirt that hugged his muscled chest and arms, and finally to his smiling face, complete with dimples and perfectly tousled sandy blonde hair. Stooping first to kiss Alice on the cheek, he then greeted us in a perfectly delectable southern drawl.

"Hello there ladies; I'm Jasper Whitlock and I have had the honor of courting this fine gentlewoman," he said, his voice like melted butter.

_Are you kidding me?_ I think we all sighed collectively as he finished his introduction and kissed Alice's hand. She giggled like a silly schoolgirl and then we all just gaped at each other until Jasper, sensing we four had been rendered useless by his charms, stepped in once again.

Offering his hand to Rose now, he added, "I don't believe I've had the pleasure of meeting your friends, Alice."

Suddenly Alice came back to life and introduced Rose and then he turned to me, took my hand and Alice added, "…and this is Bella."

He smiled and bowed his head slightly as he had for Rosalie, and then draped his arm around my friend. We thanked him for the drinks – Rose deduced he had ordered the round – and we talked briefly about how the two had met, where Jasper was from and what he did for a living.

As he spoke, I studied him intently; all of the men in my girlfriends' lives had to pass my rigorous approval, much to Rose and Alice's chagrin, of course. I had to give my girl approbation; she had good taste.

Rosallie's man Emmett had been a tougher sell, but Rose had persisted. Once I saw how good they really were together – and Emmett had swiftly thrown me over his shoulder and vowed to keep spinning me until I said I loved him – I was officially Team Emmett. Just watching Alice and Jasper, I knew they'd be perfect together, and my heart ached a bit at their happiness.

_Am I ever going to get my perfect match?_ At this point, I seriously doubted it.

"Darlin,' would you like to meet my buddies over there?" Jasper said to Alice as he motioned over to a table across the room.

I followed his hand and glanced over to see two men deep in conversation. The blonde one was gorgeous, with sun-kissed wavy hair and a tan that seemed out of place in rainy Seattle. The other seemed to be listening to him intently, nodding and fidgeting with his beer bottle. I couldn't see his face well in the darkness of the restaurant, but I could tell his hair was dark and wild, and his fingers. _Damn, look at those fingers. He must play the piano._ His fingers loosely grasped the green bottle as he played with it, and my mind instantly started working on what else he could do with them. _Shit! Focus! _

Alice bounced off her stool, told us she'd be right back and skipped off with Jasper across the restaurant. I sighed and turned back to Rose.

After giving the two friends a once-over, she shifted her focus to me and said, "Damn, this city is full of fine men. Look at those two over there, _not to mention_ the one Alice has now. Yum. B, you need to get yourself one of them. If I wasn't with Emmett, my ass'd be over to their table in an instant."

I rolled my eyes, and took another gulp of my martini. I had lost my patience with men, and was in no mood to play the role of the coy, helpless damsel in need of rescuing. _So done with that bullshit._ Plus, I wasn't feeling very sociable; I was still licking my wounds from my workday. I ordered us two more drinks and I made quick work of my own, barely pausing between draining the glass and popping the olives into my mouth. Rose assessed my now-slightly inebriated state, and I raised my eyebrows at her in a challenge. _Don't you dare cut me off, Rosie. It's been a hell of a day._ As if she read my mind, she remained silent.

And then I heard it.

"_You're_ Edward Cullen?"

Alice's shrill question cut through the background noise, and I turned in time to see a pair of darkened green eyes looking at me. His expression must have mirrored mine – shocked, horrified and then disgusted and indignant. Of all the restaurants in this thriving metropolis, he chose _mine_. Were the cosmos out to get revenge on me? What contest in hell had I won? _Why?_

***********

Esme was still supportively rubbing my back, trying to get me to pick my head up off the table.

"Honey, it's not _that_ bad," she said. "Maybe in a social setting you two can put your differences aside."

I laughed – a little too loudly – and hailed the waiter. There was no way in hell I was spending the evening here – with _him_ across the room – sober. Alice was at their table for what seemed like an eternity, and I tried so hard not to look over there and let my paranoia take over. _What were they talking about? Was Edward talking about me? Was Alice talking about me? Was everyone talking about me?_ When my drink came I happily let it distract me and further numb my overloaded brain.

Esme sat down next to me, ordered a drink for herself and she and Rose chatted idly while I continued my downward spiral. _It's really a shame Edward is so attractive. Such a waste of a long, lean body, awesome sex hair, piercing green eyes and those _hands.

I shivered unintentionally as I looked him up and down. His dark jeans hugged his long legs and ass nicely, and I resisted the urge to run over there and grab a handful. His grey v-neck sweater showed only a faint outline of the muscles beneath; not too beefy-just right. His hair was messy as usual and now he was pinching the bridge of his nose again with two fingers. _Like he did earlier evening when I spoke to him at the office. _

Instead of obsessing over him – the dickhead – I refocused my compulsive tendencies on my drink and tried to re-enter the conversation at my own table.

"…so I told Emmett that I'd ask you guys if you'd like to come," Rose was saying. "He managed to get a bunch of tickets through his company, and you know we'd never manage to get a bunch of front row tickets to a U2 concert, much less for free! This way, we can all sit together."

"I've _always_ wanted to see U2 in concert," I slurred. "I _love_ them. Larry Mullen is a genius on the drums, and Bono – well, I admire his passion for world issues."

Esme and Rose just gaped at me, and I wondered how much of that came out the way I'd hoped.

"What?" I asked. Rose shook her head at me. I took another quick glance at the guys' table and saw Alice bounding back to me with a grin from ear to ear. Edward was turned away from us.

"Hey girls! Isn't Jasper a dream," she said breathlessly. "Oh my God, you'll never guess who I met!"

Rose explained we had all heard her, and I finished my martini, a bit dribbling down my chin. Alice sat back down and taking in my appearance, she tried to comfort me. At this point, though, I was too far gone to care much.

"Bella, don't worry. Edward was very polite and we didn't talk about you or work," she said and I looked at her, hopeful. "I think he'd already gotten his ranting out of his system before I got over there. Jasper said he heard all about you, but of course he didn't know it was _you_ because Edward didn't use your name." Rose tilted her head and, of course, vocalized what I was wondering.

"What did he call her, Alice," she asked. Alice was silent.

"Alice, what name _did_ he use?" I prodded. She sat completely still for what seemed like ages like she hoped if by not moving we'd forget she was there. "Come on, Alice," I yelled, and she sighed.

"Okay, but if I tell you, promise you're not going to say or do anything rash," she pleaded. "Esme, make Bella promise she won't let this affect her at work."

Esme shook her head solemnly, and said she'd try. "Hopefully Bella's too drunk to remember _everything_," she whispered.

I smacked my hand against the table in protest to her comment and Alice's stalling. "Tell me – now!"

"Okay, okay. Bella, he called you the bitch boss from hell."

It took a while for my sluggish brain to comprehend the insult, but then I lurched off my stool and made for Edward's table. _If he thinks he's going to bad mouth me to his friends or make me out as some evil witch, he's got another thing coming!_ A few steps closer to them I checked my attire to make sure nothing was hanging out or unzipped, and Alice grabbed me by the arm, spinning me around.

"Bella, please don't do this honey," she begged. "You've had a lot to drink tonight, and you're upset. Please don't let this unravel you." But I was already undone, and I shook her off and swayed a bit.

"Alice, it's too late. He's a disrespectful prick and a cocky fucker and I don't like him," I argued. "I'm just going to go over there and teach him a thing or two about manners."

I charged ahead, with Alice trailing behind me and when I got to the table, three pairs of eyes stared back at me in semi-disbelief. At least I think that's what happened; I couldn't see them very clearly. I stood inches away from Edward's face, and even in my drunken stupor I could tell he smelled good, so I inhaled deeply before opening my mouth.

"Gentlemen, please excuse the interruption," I slurred, and Jasper and the blonde continued to stare silently. Looking at Edward now, very closely, I narrowed my eyes and tried to channel my anger. "Mr. Cullen, I would appreciate it if in the future you would refrain from childish name-calling and try to maintain an air of professionalism. Our meeting here tonight is most unfortunate, but I am trying to be an adult about this. This is obviously a foreign concept to you. If you have a problem with me, have the decency to address me directly, and don't drag my friends into your character assessment of me."

Again, I have no idea how much of this I actually said, but it was there in my head at least. Once I had finished I crossed my arms angrily and waited for his reply. He glanced helplessly at his two friends and then turned to me with fire in his eyes.

"_Ms. Swan_, I am also sorry you decided to visit this restaurant tonight; I can assure you my evening is irrevocably altered because of your presence," he remarked, the sarcasm quite evident, his expressive eyes hard. "I am quite capable of being an adult and I promise you that I won't let the fact that you're a cold-hearted bitch boss from hell affect the quality of work I do for your company. Please know that it's not for you, though. I do this for my own benefit. And for Esme. You know, you could stand to learn a thing or two from her about being a human being."

His words cut through my martini-induced haze and I choked on them. _Edward Cullen despised me._ Despite my similar feelings toward him, his honestly still shocked me, and I took a step back as if they had been an actual slap. _What did I do to him?_ Then my confusion turned to anger again, and I stepped toward him, this time even closer. Before I even knew what I'd say, I heard the words tumble out of my mouth.

"Well then I would hate to disappoint you," I spat. "Long live the cold-hearted bitch boss from hell. Enjoy your weekend. See you on Monday." And I turned unsteadily on my heel and strode back to my table, grabbed my jacket and purse and walked out the door.

A few moments later Esme came outside to find me pacing the sidewalk outside the restaurant. I was fuming and needed fresh air, and I couldn't get any while _he_ was in there. Esme tried to calm me down, but between the booze and the confrontation, she wasn't having much success. She instructed me to stay where I was before pulling the keys from my hand and running back inside to get Rose and Alice. Since Alice had decided to go back with Jasper, Rosalie offered to take my car home and said she'd get a taxi from my townhouse. I faintly remembered getting in the passenger seat of my car and the movement of Rose maneuvering the car in and out of late-night traffic. And that was it.

I awoke in my bed on Saturday with one hell of a headache and an awful taste in my mouth. Thankfully my bedroom curtains were closed, so only the clock on my nightstand told me that it was late morning. _Ugh. No more drinking-ever. What the hell happened?_ The details of the prior evening were fuzzy after the point that I realized Edward Cullen was at The Alibi Room. I groaned and pulled the covers over my head as I grasped the motive for my drinking last night. _Edward effing Cullen._ My door creaked and I peeked out of the covers to see Rosalie standing there with a tray.

"Good morning rock star," she said with a less-than-entirely-sympathetic smile. "How are you feeling? You had quite a night." She stood by the bed as I slowly extracted myself from the blankets and then she placed the tray over my lap. She had made toast and there was a glass of water, two aspirin and a Bloody Mary taking up the rest of the tray. "I didn't know how you felt, so I made something for upset stomach _or_ headache, or both."

Managing a weak smile – it hurt to move my face too much – I thanked her sincerely.

"Rose, can you help me fill in the blanks here," I asked sheepishly. "I don't remember much after the third martini, and I have a feeling it was bad. And no offense, but why are you here? Not that I don't enjoy being taken care of the morning after a bender." Rose laughed and sat on the end of my bed, and I steeled myself for her answers.

"Well honey, you had a rough night. Apparently that Edward Cullen really gets to you. I won't go into detail on that. You drank way too much, so I drove your car home for you, and I stayed because after you threw up the third time, I was worried you'd pass out on the bathroom floor if you got up again and I wasn't here. So it was Nurse Rose to the rescue. Does that satisfy your curiosity?"

It helped, but I still had a nagging feeling there was more. I pressed her to elaborate on the Edward stuff.

"Umm…well, I'll give it to him; the man is not afraid of you, B," she continued. "Alice gave me the gist of what you two said to each other, and it sounds like Esme's got her work cut out for her in keeping you two from tearing each other to pieces on Monday."

_Oh shit._ I groaned again and rested my throbbing head in my hands. Rosalie told me about the bitch boss thing and I stopped her once she had disclosed what I said to Edward. I felt sick again, and took a swig of water and the aspirin from my tray. Esme was _not_ going to have to deal with the ramifications of _my_ behavior; I'd see to that. Edward was another story, but I refused to force her to be the mother in this situation.

"Rose, I am so sorry if I embarrassed you or said anything to you last night; you know I was in a bad way to start and the martinis did nothing to improve that, obviously," I said. "I'm going to call Alice and apologize and Esme too. God, Jasper and the other guy – what was his name – must think I'm a psycho!"

"Nah, don't worry about it. Esme and Alice did some damage control, which was actually good because Es seemed to hit it off with that Carlisle guy," Rose offered. "Why don't you finish your food, get some rest and you can call the girls later. I'm going to head home and get out of these clothes. We'll get together sometime this weekend, okay? But please B, no more martinis for a little while." I nodded with tears in my eyes and she hugged me goodbye before closing the door behind her. What a mess.

_So…what did you all think? Are these two going to kill each other on Monday? Or maybe they'll just tear each other's clothes off? You tell me!_


	6. Chapter 6: Damage Control

_Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just decided it was time to shake things up a bit in her characters' world. And I wanted a bitchy Bella, so here we go! _

_Oh, and all of the references used in this story in relation to the advertising and marketing company and accounts are only used here for entertainment purposes; no copyright infringement intended._

_Enjoy and review (be kind, but honest)!_

_Thank you, thank you to my wicked awesome beta, Flyaway Dove (Awesome Amanda) and of course to angelicwish for helping me learn the ropes. And a special gracias to my bestie Jen, who encourages me to keep writing, as well as one to my new Newfie pal Selita – you girls are the best!_

_And to all of those who are reading and leaving me presents in the form of reviews – I heart you all!_

_Okay, so Bella is going to try the whole being human thing – let's see how she does!_

**Chapter Six: Damage control**

Around two o'clock I managed to drag my sorry ass out of bed and looked around my townhouse to survey the damage. Thankfully, aside from my clothes strewn all over the bedroom, and a few wet towels in my master bathroom, the place was still spotless. If I had been in destruction mode when Rose brought me home, she had cleaned up after me. I took a shower trying to wash the night and the booze off my skin, and felt worlds better afterward, as I redressed in jeans and a sweatshirt. Refilling my water glass, I padded out of the kitchen and plunked down on the sofa.

_I'd better call Alice and Esme and apologize._ Reaching for the phone, I dialed Alice's cell phone first, and after a few rings I heard her chipper voice on the other end, asking me how I was feeling. We spoke for a few minutes and I apologized profusely, but Alice shook it off, assuring me that everything would be fine.

"Bella, please don't worry; Jasper thought the entire exchange was rather funny, and he admired your moxie," she said. "Apparently no one has ever spoken to Edward like that, and Jasper and Carlisle really got a kick out of you. Oh, and did you know that Carlisle asked for Esme's number?"

I could practically hear her bouncing off the walls in excitement. "That's great Alice. Carlisle seemed like a nice guy – the little I remember of him."

_This is pathetic. I ruined what could have been a perfectly decent night out. Glad I didn't ruin it for everyone else. Except Edward – ha!_

Since she was still with Jasper, Alice ended the call after that bit of news and told me she'd call me later. Then I called Esme, apologized and asked her about Carlisle. We spoke for about twenty minutes and then she excused herself so she could finish her Saturday errands. After suggesting a brief meeting on Monday morning, we agreed on an early one and said our goodbyes. _What would I ever do without her? _I spent the rest of the afternoon vegging out in front of the TV, watching old movies. My brain was total mush.

The weekend flew by, and by Sunday night I had this pit in my stomach that seemed to grow by the hour. Knowing I would have to face Edward Cullen made me nauseous, and all I could do was hope that with Esme there he wouldn't strangle me. And that with her there, I wouldn't be inclined to strangle him, too. _Shit, this is going to be a disaster._

On Monday morning I made an effort to be extra early; Esme and I had agreed to meet at 7:30 before the day began and before my status meetings with the different exec teams. Edward would be sitting in on them, of course, but I had decided I'd phase myself out of those weekly meetings slowly, with the ultimate goal being that he'd update _me_ weekly and I'd only have to meet with the execs monthly. Given my nerves this morning, however, I decided it would be best if I was at work even earlier than what was normal for me. I pulled into my spot and looked at my clock: 7:11. _Good. Plenty of time to get settled and focus on work and _not_ Edward Cullen. _

By the time I reached the tenth floor it was 7:15; when I pushed through the glass doors the silence of the empty office greeted me like an old friend and I took a deep breath. As I walked toward my office I heard the sound of computer keys clicking and I paused outside my door to listen. Curious as to who would be here earlier than me – Esme wasn't here yet – I slowly and quietly walked down the hall in the direction of the sound. As I got closer it grew louder, and I came to a halt a few feet away from its source, unwilling to be exposed. Edward Cullen was in his office already. _He got here before me! _

Instantly I was pissed, but when I couldn't devise a good enough reason to be mad, I turned and walked back to my office, the pit back in my stomach and my mood soured. _Well, if he wants to be more productive, I'll help him._

First checking my reflection in the mirror – hair pulled tight, suit wrinkle-free and stockings pulled up – I yanked a stack of files from my cabinet and strode back down the hall. The door was slightly ajar, so I knocked and then pushed it open without waiting for his reply.

"Good morning Mr. Cullen," I said stiffly. It took every ounce of strength I had to look him in the eye, but I caught his gaze and held it in a silent challenge. He was at his desk, leaning over a file and making notes on a legal pad to his right. In front of him was a larger pile of files; it seemed he had already been through those and pieces of paper with additional notes protruded from the manila edges. He looked impeccable, this time in a black suit, bright blue shirt and blue tie, and I bit my lip hard so I wouldn't make a face and give myself away. _God, why does he have to look so good? As soon as he opens his mouth, it's ruined._ His bronze hair was chaotic as usual and I had the urge to run my fingers through it. _Stop it Bella!_ The shirt made his eyes look bluer today, like the ocean. _Shit woman! Get a grip!_

"Ms. Swan," he simply replied. Suddenly I had forgotten why I was in his office. After he received no further reply from me, he said, "I've finished working on the files you gave me on Friday and have spoken to all of the clients. I have also arranged meetings with them over the next few weeks, so that I can introduce myself and become familiar with their needs." He looked at me again and then added, "They all seem very happy with the change." He offered me a smug, crooked smile, and then I remembered myself and let the stack of files fall in front of him with a thud.

"Well, Mr. Cullen, since you are so adept and efficient at transitioning all of our clients to your services, I thought I'd give you more," I replied spitefully. "We wouldn't want you to be bored here on _only_ your second day."

Pleased with myself, I turned and left the office. _Take that._ _Those account files should keep him busy for the next week._ Esme arrived at 7:30 for our meeting, and as she sat down in one of the chairs facing my desk, she offered me some advice.

"Bella, you know I love you, so I say this as your friend and business partner," she began. "You've got to ease up on Edward. I know you two aren't seeing eye-to-eye, but he _just_ started. I don't know why you're treating him like this, but it has to stop. You know he's a hot commodity right now and any other firm will scoop him up as soon as he walks out our door." She was right, of course, but I wasn't willing to wave the white flag just yet. After all, Edward seemed just as invested in our little "game" as I was. And he was obviously no quitter.

"Esme, I know all of that quite well. I expect the best from everyone here, and our new hotshot is no exception," I said. "He seems to think he's the best thing since sliced bread, but until I see some results – and even then I doubt I'll acquiesce to that kind of behavior – I will not tolerate his holier-than-thou attitude. End of story. So until he downsizes his ego, I'm going to continue to make him back it up."

Esme was accustomed to my demands for perfectionism from our employees; I was probably notorious for it within the industry. It didn't bother me in the least; on the contrary – it was part of how we were recognized as being one of the best.

I reflected on the conversation later that morning as I sat in the second of the weekly update meetings between me and my teams. Make that Edward's teams. In an effort to keep him on his toes I had announced that he would direct the update meeting. And despite him never having sat in on one of ours, he ran it surprisingly well and with the execs eagerly offering information to him, the meeting ran smoothly and quickly. _Damn him. He must have a fucking four-leaf clover in his pocket._

As I watched my employees, I was amazed at how quickly Edward was accepted, and the ease with which he collected their information and provided feedback. People were actually smiling, which pissed me off even more. I made a note of this dynamic on my legal pad, and then decided to throw them all one more curveball.

"Thank you, Jacob, for your update," I said, intercepting Edward. "Before we wrap up I'd like you all to be aware of a few new clients I have brought on in the last week." I pushed a small pile of new files to Edward. "After conferring with me and establishing contact with them, Mr. Cullen will be assigning the clients to you as he sees fit. These are huge clients, people, so please treat them as such. Mr. Cullen, I know I don't have to stress to you the importance of keeping _all_ of our clients happy." He turned to me and nodded tersely, and I could have sworn I saw his lip twitch. _Haha, I'm getting to him! Let's see who better, eh?_ With him silenced, I took over briefly to end the meeting. "Thank you everyone. That will be all." They all shuffled out quietly with a few hushed whispers, and as Edward got up to leave, I saw my opportunity to aggravate the small wound I had opened.

"Is everything alright, Mr. Cullen" I asked innocently. Now that there was no audience, he looked up at me, his eyes dark and furious. I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from giggling at his obvious ire.

"Yes, everything is just fine," he replied, his jaw clenched. Before I could say more, however, he grabbed the files and walked swiftly out the door. I took stock of my "points" so far that day. _Bella Swan – two. Edward Cullen – zero._ I went back to my office feeling superior and then moved on to our final update meeting.

Part of me felt guilty; at each meeting I piled more work on Edward – more accounts, new marketing strategies, new ideas from our PR team for him to finesse – but he took on each task like a good little soldier. I wasn't sure if I should be impressed or enraged, so instead I stuck with perplexed. He obviously despised me – and of course he had admitted it on Friday night – but yet he remained professionally polite and obedient in the fulfillment of his duties. _Damn it. He's making it impossible for me to discipline him. But I'm not done having fun yet._

****************

So over the course of the next month and a half, I gave him more work. And I continued to be a tyrant. And he continued to convey his hatred through his icy stares and barely restrained comments. Esme, of course, implored me to ease up, but I felt it was only fair to follow through with my expectations of Edward and the position. I knew he spoke to her often; that much was evident from their friendly relationship. No matter how she pleaded with me, however, I needed to make sure Edward knew his place – knew he wasn't irreplaceable.

Prospective employees – for all departments – were constantly sending in resumes, hoping they'd get lucky with an opening at Swan & Platte. At any given point, I was usually reviewing a stack of them, so I simply left the pile on my desk when I called Edward into my office one Thursday to see how he was making out with the ridiculous load of work I had assigned him that week. He entered my office looking weary and annoyed, and was pinching the bridge of his nose again. I motioned for him to sit in one of the plush chairs in front of my desk, and asked him how he was progressing.

"Just fine Ms. Swan," he answered flatly. "I've made contacts with all of the new accounts and have assigned them to team members as you requested. I've also met with the marketing team and have meetings scheduled with the PR team next week."

Again I was distracted not only by his voice – even though it seemed a bit tense – but also by his appearance, and had to restrain myself from giving him a head-to-toe ogle. He had on another perfectly tailored suit, this time a navy one, and it flattered his perfect skin and bronze hair. And I hated the fact that I found him attractive, so I focused on something else.

"Mr. Cullen, am I giving you too much work?" It was obviously a trick question, but I couldn't help myself. After all, I knew damn well that I was giving him a bit too much, and I wanted to see how he'd answer. And I felt sure he wasn't aware that he was screwed with a yes _or_ a no answer. "Please let me know if the load is too heavy; this is a difficult job after all."

His whole body stiffened at my last comment, and he squared his shoulders before answering. "No Ms. Swan," he replied, his tone even icier. "I understand fully what this job includes; you and Esme made that very clear to me. Frankly I'm just surprised you were able to function with this position vacant for so long. But thankfully I'm finding my teams to be quite competent and I feel confident I'll have everything in order very shortly."

_Again with the damn insult about my disorganization. He needs to learn a new trick. _I smiled at the moment his eyes focused on the stack of applications on my desk. His face reddened as he asked me if I needed anything else. _For you to spank me and punish me for being a bad girl? Damn it! Shut the fuck up!_

"No, Mr. Cullen, that will be all for now." And with a tight nod, he left my office.

Esme sent me an email that afternoon to remind me of a conference we had coming up in Chicago at the end of the month, and I cringed when I realized who else would be accompanying me.

"You and Edward are already registered, and I'll email you your flight and hotel reservations," she told me. The idea of spending a week with Edward halfway across the country did funny things to my stomach, and I tried to suppress the fluttering.

On Friday I had Jessica make two copies of the keys to the office and elevator, and that afternoon I poked my head into his office.

"Excuse me, Mr. Cullen. I wanted to give you these." I handed over the two keys and ring. He looked puzzled, so I continued. "You'll need these to get into the building during the weekends. And this weekend is one of them. I'm going to need you to come in to get some work done on the new marketing strategies. We will be attending a conference at the end of the month and we'll need to have some visuals, brochures and other finished products available by then. Esme has taken care of the arrangements."

He looked at me for a moment like he was debating whether to smack me or quit, but then he sighed and nodded. The look on his face, for some reason, compelled me to apologize, but I caught myself before opening my mouth. _Why the hell would I need to apologize? It's work – simple as that._ Instead, I offered a meager, "Thank you," and left him.

On Friday afternoon, I discussed the marketing ideas with some of the team members, independently, so that when I came into the office the following day I'd be up to speed on them so Edward wouldn't have to brief me. Toward the end of the day, after I had lunch with Esme, I checked on Edward again and asked that he be at the office by eight. He ran his long fingers through his hair and agreed.

"Sure," he said.

"The earlier we get here, the earlier we can leave," I offered lamely, and his eyes grew wide.

"You're…um…also working tomorrow," he asked skeptically. He must have assumed I was punishing him, forcing him to come in alone on a Saturday. What a jackass.

"Yes, Mr. Cullen. You and I _both_ need to work on these projects, since _we_ will be bringing them to the conference in Chicago."

He swallowed hard at my comment, and I couldn't help but notice the panic on his face. Or his strong neck and how his Adam's apple bobbed when he swallowed. _Shit._ In an effort to erase the thoughts from my head, I said I'd see him tomorrow and excused myself.

Before I left I added, "Oh, and Mr. Cullen – you don't need to wear a suit tomorrow. I don't hold my employees to a dress code on the weekends."

Walking down the hall toward Esme's office, I figuratively patted myself on the back for being fair and diplomatic. _That went well._ I popped my head into my friend's office and she smiled in greeting, turning back to her phone conversation. She wrapped it up quickly and then sat to face me. I told her that Edward and I would be working tomorrow and that it had gone well – without incident at least – and that I had also informed him of the conference. She applauded me for not being nasty – hey, one day at a time, _right_ – and offered to come in the next day to provide moral support and to keep us from fighting, if the occasion should arise. I laughed at her, and shook my head.

"You're ridiculous, Es," I said. "Thank you, but no. Enjoy your Saturday. It's supposed to be nice, so do something outside – for me, okay? He and I will fine – promise. Hey, maybe I'll even be _nice_ to him, since he's working for me on a weekend."

Esme clasped her hands and the hope in her eyes made my gut clench. _Damn, am I that bad?_ I patted her hand, told her to have a great weekend, and walked back to my office.

Later that evening as I was getting ready to leave, my cell phone started buzzing. _Alice._ Realizing I wouldn't be seeing her or Rose all weekend, I sighed, and pressed the send button.

"Hey Alice. How are you?" I listened to her chat excitedly about her week and about her date with Jasper that evening. Then she asked me what my plans were for the weekend, and I told her.

"Wait. You're working on a Saturday – with Edward? Oooh, that should be interesting," she squealed. "Try not to rip his head off and eat him for lunch, okay?"

Sometimes Alice disgusted me, and I shook off the mental image of a praying mantis eating her mate. _Eew, totally gross bug sex. _Now with sex on the brain, I asked her how she was progressing with Jasper, and of course she didn't disappoint me.

"Holy shit, B, the man is a sex god! The things he does to me – ahh, he can make me come with a simple touch!" Before she got too graphic I cut her off. I was happy for her but didn't really feel like hearing about her sexcapades; especially since I was in the midst of a sexual drought. _More like the Sex Dust Bowl of 2009._

"That's great Alice," I said with as much enthusiasm as I could muster. "Listen, I hate to do this, but I gotta go. It's getting late and I need to get out of here. I'm going to try and enjoy my Friday night and relax a bit before turning around and coming right back. Take care, have fun with that man of yours, and call me tomorrow, okay?" She agreed and we hung up.

I grabbed my coat and briefcase and walked out the door, not even looking behind me to see if Edward was still there. If he was, it would be a waste of his Friday night. As I walked out of the stairwell and into the garage, however, I asked myself why the hell I cared.


	7. Chapter 7: Let's try to get along

_#_

_Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just decided it was time to shake things up a bit in her characters' world. And I wanted a bitchy Bella, so here we go! _

_Oh, and all of the references used in this story in relation to the advertising and marketing company and accounts are only used here for entertainment purposes; no copyright infringement intended._

_A special thanks to my whiz of a beta, Flyaway Dove (Awesome Amanda) who is training me well in the ways of shorter paragraphs. She's also great for cutting up my sentences into more manageable bites. Yum!_

_Thanks also to angelicwish for helping me learn the ropes and to Selita – you know why chickie! _

**Chapter Seven: Let's try to get along**

_**EPOV**_

I was up bright and early Saturday morning; I hadn't slept at all the previous night. My dreams were short, frequent and every time I awoke in a cold sweat, panicked and feeling like I had missed something important. _What the fuck?_

The last dream had me running through an empty hall with a bunch of fucking locked doors, and I frantically yanked on each one until, finally, one opened. Except when it did, I came face to face with Isabella Swan, and it swiftly became a nightmare. She stood there tapping her foot, arms crossed, staring me down like I was a disobedient servant or some shit like that. I just stood there like an idiot, and then her expression softened and she opened her mouth. And it all went to fucking hell.

"Edward, don't you love me," she asked, her big brown eyes expectant. "I love you so much. I know I've been horrible to you, but I only want you to be perfect."

_Oh shit. I am definitely up the creek now._ I didn't know how to respond. She confused the shit out of me, all nice and pleading and beautiful, and I held out my hand to her in trade for words. She took it and stepped closer to me so that our faces were less than an inch away.

I could feel her – her breath, her want and desire for me, and something else – and without thinking I closed the distance and pressed my lips to hers. She immediately responded and seemed to mold her body against mine. We melded and I couldn't tell where I ended and she began. It was all full of fire and it consumed us both. When she broke our kiss she had fire in her eyes still, and her expression changed again. She looked…hungry.

And then in a flash I was lying on a table and Isabella, my beautiful, bitchy boss from hell was cutting into me with a cake knife. The dream was like some cheesy 1980s music video – Isabella cutting herself a piece of Edward cake – and when I woke up I had to jump out of bed to shake it off. _Fucking gross, kid._ Sometimes I really freaked myself out.

I showered quickly and dressed in jeans; she had said, after all, that she didn't expect me to wear a suit today. I pulled a dark blue v-neck tee over my head and then just for good measure, I added a dressier work button-down but left it unbuttoned and untucked. After grabbing a breakfast bar and my coffee off the kitchen counter, I sprinted out the door and started my car.

My briefcase – where I had tossed the office keys – was still in the backseat of my new car, and when I pulled into the garage at work I reached for it and then ran up the ten flights of stairs. _Might as well get in a little cardio._ It wasn't yet eight o'clock, but I knew she was there already; the Audi was parked in her spot when I pulled mine in next to it. Esme had told me it would be fine if I used her parking spot for the day. I let myself into the quiet office and found my boss in the conference room. Suddenly my strange and rather disturbing dream came back to me, and I had to shake my head to clear my thoughts.

Isabella was sitting at the table, but not in her usual place at the head of it, of which I immediately took note. She had her head bowed over a pile of papers, glossy brochures and a few mock-up boards with drawings. A pencil was tucked behind her ear, and for the first time I saw that she had really cute ears. _What? Have a thing now for ears, eh?_ She was dressed in jeans and sneakers, and had an oversized button-down shirt on with it knotted at her waist. _Probably an old boyfriend's. Why do I care? _Her hair, for once, wasn't in a tight bun, and loose strands escaped the messy pile atop her head and tickled her neck. Her very long, graceful neck. _Damn. What the fuck is wrong with me?_ She had one leg tucked under her, and she was biting on a pen, completely unaware of my presence.

I took the fleeting moment to appreciate her natural beauty, when it was unencumbered by her business attire and biting tongue. She really was beautiful, and I found myself wishing I could reach out and tuck one of those loose strands back into her ponytail. _Yeah, except she'd probably bite me and then stab me with her pen._ My nice dreamy Isabella and the one before me started to blend, and I imagined her _real_ lips on mine, her _real_ hands in my hair and on my ass, and her _real_ body and how it would feel against mine.

"Good morning Mr. Cullen," her voice cut through my horny haze like a fog horn. "Thank you for being prompt." She smiled at me, and for the first time that I could recall, it seemed…natural. I think my mouth opened slightly at the shock, and she paused, looking at me until I shut it.

"Good morning," I managed, moving farther into the room and to the other side of the conference table. "Where would you like me?"

_Can I tell you where I'd like you? Shit._

"Wherever you feel comfortable is fine," she answered. "We're going to be here for a while, I'm afraid."

As I sat down and opened my briefcase, she informed me that after getting mock-ups and other materials from the marketing team late last night (they had been left in her office), she realized they all needed to be reworked. I groaned in frustration and also with the knowledge that for the first time since I had arrived at Swan & Platte, I had failed to deliver. And I hated that. After all of the meetings we had both had with the team, how could this have happened? Running my fingers through my hair, I tried to apologize.

"I'm sorry Ms. Swan. I don't know how this could've happened," I began. "I met with them and specifically directed them according to your feedback on the originals. They all seemed to comprehend the changes that needed to be made. I, uh…."

She looked down at the materials in front of her and then looked up at me again with a _smile_. I almost shit myself. _Twice in one hour? Don't get ahead of yourself man._

"Mr. Cullen, please don't apologize. It's not anyone's fault; I think the marketing team and PR team need to communicate more effectively with each other, which is ironic," she said. "I'm sure you adequately explained the changes to the marketing team, but it's clear from these that the others felt strongly about their original concepts. I'm going to have to speak to them about this on Monday."

She wasn't mad at me, I realized incredulously. What alternate universe did I fall into this morning? Was it because it was a weekend, or was she actually trying to be nice? I wasn't sure and was frankly too confused to explore it further, so I figured it would be safer to just stay the course. _Maybe if I continue to stay still the big, bad monster lady won't see me._ Then I remembered what she had said and sprang to action.

"Please, let me speak to the PR staff," I said. "It's my duty to work with them, and ultimately my responsibility to resolve any artistic and creative differences."

For what seemed like an eternity, she studied me with a stony expression. _Maybe I was hallucinating. Looks like the bitch is back._ But then she surprised me again, and nodded her head, another loose tendril of chestnut hair falling from her ponytail.

"That's fine."

We dove into our work after that, me on one side of the table, and she on the other, and after a few hours we had made quite a bit of progress. We worked well together, I realized reluctantly. She and I seemed to think alike, so I'd start on an idea and she'd finish my thought aloud, or she'd start making a sketch of how something should look and I'd complete it.

There wasn't much conversation, but it was a comfortable near-silence. Around lunchtime I stood up and stretched. My back was starting to cramp, and my ass had fallen asleep. As I reached my arms overhead and paced on my side of the room, Isabella also stood and attempted to neaten her hair. She pulled out the rubber band and as her chocolate locks tumbled down, I stopped mid-stretch. _God, I love her hair. I want to run my fingers through it, caress it, and tug on it. _

Absentmindedly she flipped it away from her shoulders and leaned back, and I nearly lost my shit. Her breasts tantalizingly peeked out over her white tank top, her neck was exposed and as she stretched I got an eyeful of creamy skin revealed at the bottom of her shirt. She twisted her hair and then piled it atop her head once more, wrapped the band around it a couple of times and then looked at me.

_Pull it together man. She's your boss, and your bitchy boss from hell, too._

Then my stomach growled, and distracted me from the growing tightness in my jeans.

"Um, would you like to get something for lunch," I asked, unsure of how to proceed in this sort of working-on-a-Saturday-with-your-hot-boss situation.

"Actually I knew we'd be here for lunch, so I took the liberty of stopping to get sandwiches," she said.

_I love you. Shut the fuck up!_ The yelling in my head was getting to me.

"I hope you like roast beef and turkey subs, pop and chips," she offered. My stomach answered its approval of the meal, and I nodded. She disappeared and a moment later reappeared with a basket full of food for us. She could have suggested I fend for myself; she could have made me work through lunch. This woman intrigued me to no end. And confused the shit out of me.

We ate in silence at first, but once my stomach had been silenced my curiosity was awakened, and I was dying to know more about her. What harm would come from asking a question or two? I took a deep breath and hoped she wouldn't jump across the table and stab me with her plastic knife.

"Thank you for bringing lunch. This is delicious," I said, easing into my plan of attack. She shrugged her shoulders but said nothing. "Ms. Swan…do you, um, mind if I ask you a personal question?" She stopped chewing and looked up at me with alarm in her eyes. Feeling the need to reassure her, I backtracked a bit. "No, I meant…I was just wondering how you and Esme got into this business."

_Phew. Okay, down girl. I wasn't going to ask you your bra size. Or how long it's been since you got laid._ She visibly relaxed some, and told me about how she and Esme had become friends in college, and how they had started their business with a few local mom and pops, scraping to make it work. Talking about it made her happy, I could tell. Then I decided to explore a little further.

"Do you mind if I ask you another question?" She paused but then shook her head, so I continued. "Do you have any siblings?"

"No. I'm an only child," she answered plainly. "My mom and dad got divorced when I was really young. My dad never remarried and my mom only recently married Phil. But my girlfriends and Esme are my sisters. I don't know what I'd do without them." She stopped then, and I recalled meeting Alice that night at The Alibi Room. That's probably what she was remembering, too.

"Ms. Swan, I…" I began, just as she started speaking. We both stopped and she cleared her throat, and asked me to continue, her discomfort visible. "I…I'm sorry about what I said the other night. It was unprofessional and mean, and it's not something I make a habit of doing."

She smiled knowingly and then replied, "You mean, you haven't yelled at all of your other bosses and called them bitches from hell?" I grimaced at the sound of the term rolling off her tongue, and shook my head. "It's forgotten," she said. "I don't remember all of the details from that evening anyways, and I'm sure I was less than professional myself."

We stared at each other, both aware of our prior offenses against the other. Then she cut through the tension and dismissed the whole thing with a wave of her hand.

"Then we agree to forget all about it," she reiterated. Then she got up and threw away her lunch wrappers. She obviously felt uncomfortable discussing her feelings and personal life. I got up to throw away the remnants of my lunch as well, and we got back to work.

I wasn't really aware of the sun's movement in the sky, or when it finally dipped below the horizon. The lights in the office were set on a timer during the weekends, I discovered, so as dusk arrived, the lights gradually got brighter, which helped keep us focused. We worked feverishly and with determination, we didn't pause for hours. I was sitting next to her at the conference table, and at some point she had perched on the edge of the table with her feet resting in a chair, which I suppose offered her a better view of the materials we had spread all over the surface.

It felt like it had been hours since I had last blinked. I leaned back, rubbed my tired eyes and ran my fingers through my hair. Isabella, however, was still concentrating on one mock-up that was giving us trouble. I watched her furrowed brow in amusement as she chewed on her pen.

"There's something off with this one, and I can't put my finger on it," she mused. I stood up and leaned over the table next to her to get a better look. "We've been at this one for hours and it's still not right." She was frustrated.

As I scrutinized the board more closely, I became acutely aware of our bodies' proximity. I could hear her breathing, feel the heat from her body and I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye. I could see the vein in her forehead protrude with her effort as she continued to stare at the paper. She smelled so good, and instinctively I edged closer to inhale more of her. _I just want to touch her; I bet her skin feels soft. I just want to taste her; I bet her lips and tongue taste like cherries. I just want to hold her; there's just something about her._

Suddenly her gaze fell on me and I was caught red-handed. Like a kid with his hand in the cookie jar. Her breathing accelerated slightly and her face flushed. The heat was radiating off both of us; if I just moved an inch, I'd be touching her. _Just fucking do it. No! It's wrong. She's your boss. _She nervously licked her lips and at that moment I decided I didn't give a shit about the consequences - I was going to kiss Isabella Swan.

And then fate intervened. The buzzing of her cell phone snapped Isabella out of her trance, and she jumped off the table and away from me to pull her phone from her bag. Breathlessly she answered.

"Hello? Oh, hi Alice. Yeah, I'm still at work. Yes. _Yes._ No! Okay, I'm going to go now. I'll call you when I get home, okay? Can't wait to hear all about your date. Hanging up now. Bye." She closed the phone and, blushing again, she looked back at me. _God, I love the way her skin does that, giving her away._

"Alice," I said simply. She nodded and sat back down in a chair a few from mine. The moment was gone. Whatever had almost happened between us had passed. _Damn it._

We decided to leave the final mock-up for Monday, and I offered that it might also become clearer after I spoke with the PR team. I checked my watch and was surprised to find that the entire day was gone.

At seven o'clock Isabella told me to go home, and she started straightening the papers and materials. There was something hanging in the air over us. It was elusive and it bothered me. My conscience was conflicted, and I was preoccupied with my thoughts. Isabella Swan was my boss, first and foremost. But I couldn't deny my attraction to her and my growing fascination with the inner workings of her mind. _Such a hard exterior, but underneath that…definitely a mystery._

This woman had fashioned herself into a very successful president and CEO, and she was judged because of that. If she had been a man in the same position, I was sure she would have been deeply respected and viewed as a go-getter. But because she was a female, people feared her and no doubt considered her harsh and even mean. She was a cut-throat bitch in the eyes of many around her, and I realized with chagrin that I was one of them. Chastising myself for my behavior, I vowed to try not to judge her again and simply do what she asked of me.

"Mr.…um, Edward...?"

Isabella's use of my first name jerked me back from my inner ramblings, and I glanced at her, unable to hide my surprise. Was she feeling more comfortable with me than I thought? My heart swelled with the notion, but I stifled my reaction as her face took on a more professional air.

"Do you mind if I call you by your first name," she asked. "I call all of my other employees by theirs, and you've certainly been here long enough that we can do away with some formalities. If you prefer Mr. Cullen, I am happy to oblige, of course."

I shook my head profusely and spoke before she had time to undo the little bit of progress we had made that day.

"No, no, Edward is fine," I answered. "And thank you." I didn't know what else to say. Since I knew calling her Isabella clearly was not an option, I decided to try conversation about two people we now both had in common.

"So Alice and Jasper seem to be getting along really well," I said. _Well, that wasn't really a question. Good way to start a conversation shithead._ But surprisingly she smiled at me and replied.

"Yes, they are. I think it's great," she said softly. "Jasper seems like a wonderful guy, and anyone who has that kind of calming effect on my friend, the Energizer Bunny, is alright in my book." I laughed at her admission. In the short time I had known Alice I knew it was true. Then I considered the other new couple in our midst.

"And apparently Carlisle and Esme are really hitting it off as well," I offered. "Carlisle speaks so highly of her. He seems enamored already, and he's not one to jump off the deep end. More like a toe in to test the water kind-of-guy." In fact, Carlisle, I was sure, was already in love with my other boss. Not that I could blame him at all; Esme was a warm, intelligent, beautiful, loving person. I couldn't have been happier for my brother, and for her.

Isabella seemed to be processing the idea of the two of them as a couple. "It's wonderful," she finally said. "I've known Esme for a long time, and people have always gravitated toward her. I'm glad she snagged a good one." She paused and the color crept back into her neck and cheeks, and I couldn't help but wonder what thoughts prompted it.

"Don't you think it's…strange that two of my friends have made connections with _your_ friend and brother? I mean, what are the odds? Now, it seems, we have a few more things in common." She let her thought trail off, and I stopped to also consider it. Jasper meeting Alice at a basketball game, and then Carlisle getting Esme's number the night we all happened to be at The Alibi Room, was uncanny coincidence.

"Maybe it's kismet," I said, and then felt the heat creeping up my own neck, to my ears. Maybe she'd take it as a comment on Jasper and Carlisle. I hoped that if she read into it more, she wouldn't be offended and think I was making a play for her.

She'd probably fire me for sexual harassment and make sure I'd never get another job in this industry. But still, I considered the truth of my statement. Maybe it was fate, if there was such a thing.

It was late, and we finished packing up and she shut the lights off in the conference room and locked the door as I walked ahead of her. I waited while she grabbed her things and we walked to the elevators together in silence. A few moments later we stepped out and into the garage, and I saw her pause as she looked at our identical Audis parked side-by-side. Then she laughed, and the timbre of it jolted me like an electric shock.

It was a beautiful sound.

"I didn't mean to laugh," she said, regaining her composure. "It's just…we have the same _car._ Is yours a 3.2 liter V-6, six-speed manual transmission?" I simply nodded my head, entranced by her use of car lingo. _It's like car porn; talk dirty to me some more._ As if she was reading my mind, she continued.

"God, I love this car – 264 horsepower, 243 pounds of torque and zero to sixty in six seconds," she said as she dragged her fingertips along the hood. "I love the drive select system and the sound is to-die-for. Fourteen speakers, 505 watts and navigation and iPod capability? I was smitten."

_So was I. _Between the laugh and then the car-talk, I was rendered incapacitated. This woman completely unhinged me. _I am in really deep shit now._ My mind raced for something awesomely suave to say, but came up with nothing. And now she was putting her briefcase in her car. _Say something, you idiot._ But what?

"Umm…well, I guess I'll see you on Monday," I managed. _Fucking brilliant, asshole._ She opened her door and waited. _Shit! What's happening? Is she waiting for me to say something?_ I felt the need to fill the awkward silence with more stupidity. "That wasn't too bad, today. I mean, we got a lot done. It should make things easier next week. Um…thanks." _Great – thanks for making me work on a Saturday. Perfectly executed._ Isabella nodded and a smile crept across her face.

"No, thank _you_ Edward," she said. "I appreciate you giving me your Saturday." She looked nervous, suddenly. "It was…nice." And then she slid behind the wheel, shut the door and started the engine. It roared to life and its purr reverberated off the cement walls. She backed out and I watched her go, standing by my car like an imbecile.

"_Nice."_

As I slowly got in my car, I knew one thing with certainty: I didn't want to fight with Isabella anymore. I wanted to hear that word again.


	8. Chapter 8: The B side

_Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just decided it was time to shake things up a bit in her characters' world. And I wanted a bitchy Bella, so here we go! _

_Oh, and all of the references used in this story in relation to the advertising and marketing company and accounts are only used here for entertainment purposes; no copyright infringement intended._

_A special thanks to my wicked awesome beta, Flyaway Dove. Bella and Edward thank you too, hon!_

_Thanks also to angelicwish for helping me learn the ropes and to Selita, as well as all of the "fans" of my story out there! You all keep me writing!_

_Do you all like my choice of chapter title?? Get it – B Side – so many different meanings! Sometimes I'm clever. On with the show!_

**Chapter Eight: The B side**

Working on weekends was not my favorite thing to do, but I had logged many hours in the office on my technical "days off." So when I asked Edward to come in as well, I didn't relish the idea of working with someone else – especially him – but reasoned it would be much more productive. Besides, in this case it was a necessity.

In my new effort to be a nicer boss, I picked up lunch for the two of us. Wasn't it the least I could do for asking him to come in and work on a Saturday? I wasn't sure. What was the protocol for this sort of thing? I usually didn't care enough to consider it.

The day had passed with surprising speed. The two of us had worked through most of the problems I identified with the marketing materials we'd be presenting at the conference.

This was a big deal to me. I'd be presenting Edward to the rest of the industry representatives and together we'd be peddling our services and showcasing some of the latest marketing, ad and PR strategies to come out of Swan & Platte. The products and the conference were not to be taken lightly.

At sporadic points throughout our workday, it seemed like Edward was trying to strike up conversation, and I really _did_ try to engage him. The wall I had up, however, was still too high and too thick; I struggled even to smile at him genuinely. During our lunch break, when he attempted to ask me a few personal questions, I panicked.

It turned out they were benign: how Esme and I started the business, and then whether I had any siblings. After I started breathing again, I found it easier to answer him and actually provide him with more than a few-word answer. _He could definitely be charming and kind._

And then things got weird. I spoke of Alice and Rose and Esme, and was reminded of that horrible night at The Alibi Room, and at once, we both started trying to apologize. I didn't know what to say; I just knew the way I had treated him was wrong. But my apology was pathetic and came out sounding cold. _Sometimes I really _am_ a social pariah. I fucking suck._

We were working on one of the mock-ups and I was getting pissed off; it just wasn't working and I couldn't figure out why. My brain was fried and I was angry with myself for my personality shortcomings. And then I felt this electricity, and I looked up to see Edward staring at me.

Immediately I felt the heat in my face and my heart took off at a full gallop. The way he looked at me…he seemed _ravenous_. It was unnerving, certainly, but parts of my body reacted instinctively to his intense gaze. For a moment I got lost; I was a hot mess of sexual frustration, desire and irrational thoughts. My breathing grew heavy. My throat was dry. Each little hair on my body stood up as though statically charged. Time stood still as he and I sat a mere inch away from each other, just staring. _Oh my God. What is he going to do?_

I struggled with my attraction to Edward on a regular basis, and it irked me to no end. It was obviously impossible to avoid him, so I reacted the only way that came naturally to me – I was a jerk to him. Admittedly, I treated him far worse than anyone else; the fact that I was aware of my behavior was proof of that. Still, he hadn't quit, and still I wanted those long fingers on me, and so I continued to reject the idea _and_ him.

But in that tiny space between us, I could no longer deny anything about Edward Cullen. I wanted him – badly. Lately, when we were together, I felt this pull; like two giant magnets, we were drawn together. It wasn't egotistical on my part to see that something about me intrigued him as well. At least, I _thought_ that was the look. Sometimes it was hard to decipher whether he wanted to kiss me or kill me.

He drove me crazy. And I was really starting to like that about him. _This is not good._ I could easily close the distance between us and kiss him. It scared me how much I wanted to do that, and I knew I'd want more when I finally touched him. _Shit._ This was just not acceptable – impossible, really. Boss and employee: very messy and completely off-limits.

Edward's skin was flawless and slightly wrinkled around his eyes. The day-old stubble, usually not my thing, looked good enough to lick. My gaze flickered to his strong jaw and refined nose and then down to his lips, which were slightly open. _Damn._ His eyes appeared greyer today against his dark t-shirt, but they were every bit as alive as when they were the color of emeralds, a Caribbean sea or the cobalt of a cloudless summer sky. Suddenly I wanted to dive into them and never surface.

But I knew I couldn't. That was the bottom line – no matter how much I wanted him, Edward Cullen was forbidden fruit. How could I, as the president and CEO, even entertain the idea of getting involved with one of my employees? It was true that Swan & Platte didn't have an official policy on workplace romances, but the lack of a policy, in my mind, spoke volumes. Don't do it. Period.

Thankfully, my cell phone saved me the trouble of making a decision.

"Bella?" Alice's excited voice jumped through the earpiece.

"Oh, hi Alice," I said, catching my breath and _not_ looking over at Edward.

"Where are you, B? Are you _still_ working," she asked incredulously when she took in the silence around me.

"Yeah, I'm still at work." I offered short answers so that my voice wouldn't betray me. Hopefully she'd simply lose interest.

"Is Edward still there?"

_Or not._

"Yes," I answered.

"Are you two actually _working_?"

"_Yes_," I said again, this time with a more emphasis. _God, she's so fucking nosy!_

"Have you guys thrown in the towel yet? You know, just grab that delicious piece of man, throw him on the table and kiss him," she suggested, her smugness clear. Sometimes I could swear Alice was clairvoyant. _Damn gypsy woman._

"No!" I exclaimed, horrified. "Okay, I'm going to go now." I didn't even wait for her reply. "I'll call you when I get home, okay? Can't wait to hear all about your date. Hanging up now. Bye."

Slowly I closed my cell and tried to regain my composure, although I could feel the heat in my face, ears and neck. _There's no hiding this blush._ Turning back to Edward, I noticed he watched me with rapt fascination. But thankfully he didn't ask me what my phone conversation was about. He simply offered one word that encompassed it well.

"Alice."

After the phone call cleared my thoughts, I moved away from where Edward sat, knowing that distance was a necessity. Edward mentioned how our friends seemed to be pairing up; it hadn't gone unnoticed by me. He and I were now kind of the odd man and woman out within our respective circles.

We worked for a while longer and then I suggested we call it a day. Once we walked into the parking garage, and I saw two identical Audis parked together, I couldn't contain my laughter. _One more thing we have in common, I guess._ I quizzed him about his car; we had purchased identical models, down to the black leather interiors. My Audi was my baby – I couldn't help but gush a little about it.

Having run out of car talk, I walked over to the driver's side and opened the door. The silence was awkward, and frantically I searched my brain for something light and kind to say to him. But my mouth couldn't form any words. _God, you're completely useless outside the boardroom. _And then he spoke.

"Umm…well, I guess I'll see you on Monday," he said. It seemed like he wanted to say more, so I waited. "That wasn't too bad, today. I mean, we got a lot done. It should make things easier next week. Um…thanks."

_He was thanking me for making him work on a Saturday._ It was so adorably disarming that I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. I thanked him in return, and then got in my car before I said something stupid. _I seriously need to work on the art of idle conversation._

After calling Alice to catch up with her and hear all about her date with Jasper, I dialed the one person who might be able to help me. As I pushed down on the accelerator heading toward home, I heard the line connect and her voice on the other end.

"Hi Esme," I said cheerfully. "So, what did you do today?"

She told me she had spent the day outside, and part of me was envious, until I remembered that I _had_ spent the day with Edward. I got lost in my recollections of the last eleven hours. As usual, Esme didn't miss a beat when I grew silent.

"Bella, what is it honey," she asked nervously. "Is something wrong? Did something happen today at work?"

Rolling my eyes at her motherly concern, I realized that, of course, she'd expect the worst from me. Given my track record with Edward Cullen – since he walked into the office almost two months ago – she was probably worried that today had been the last straw for him. I sighed, frustrated at this knowledge and also with the burden of what I needed to tell her.

"No, nothing's wrong, Esme," I assured her. "I mean, nothing bad happened at work today. Actually, Edward and I got a lot accomplished." I paused, not knowing where to start with the _real_ issue.

"B, there's something you're not telling me," she said. "I can hear it in your voice." Then she waited. And I waited for the Earth to swallow me. Finally, I decided it was better to get it off my chest; Esme was the most understanding person I knew. She wouldn't judge me.

"Okay, well, see, I might have this problem," I began. It sounded ridiculous and completely vague, so I tried again. "What I mean is that…shit, this sucks. Sorry Esme, I'm struggling here. Okay, here goes. I'm attracted to Edward, and I'm not sure what to do about it."

By this time I had gotten home and was now flipping through news channels with the TV on mute. The silence was killing me. At last, Esme spoke.

"I know Bella."

Three simple words and a piece of my impenetrable wall crumbled.

"What?" I exclaimed. How could she possibly know? Had she caught me looking at him? Nope; I was definitely sneaky about that. Had I said something to tip her off? I couldn't think of anything that would have had sexual or even flirtatious undercurrents. My behavior toward Edward Cullen had been nothing but stuffy, businesslike and tyrannical. Of that much I was certain.

"Honey, you don't give me much credit," Esme replied patiently. "Do you honestly think that in all the years we've known each other, I haven't tuned in to how your mind operates? B, I can see it in your eyes, and I certainly saw how you reacted the night we all ended up at the bar together. We all saw it happening."

Her admission shocked me. And then my brain rewound her last statement, and recoiled at one particular word.

"Esme, what do you mean by _we_?"

"Well, me, Rose, Alice…" she began, and then paused.

My heart leapt into my throat as I realized she was going to continue.

"..and Jasper and Carlisle," she said. "B, please say something!"

_Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God._ Her plea snapped me out of my self-induced freak-out, and I started stammering, the words proving to be elusive.

"Es, it's one thing for you and the girls to be aware of this, but another entirely for _his_ friends to know," I yelled. "Shit! Was I _that_ obvious? Oh my God. What am I going to do?" I let my head fall into my hands, my channel flipping long-forgotten.

"Hold on, B, okay? Please calm down a bit," Esme implored. "You know you don't need to worry about any of us girls spilling your deep, dark secret. And Carlisle, I'm confident, won't say anything to his little brother; he knows it's not his place to interfere. Alice can handle Jasper."

Her reassurance provided me little comfort, but it didn't answer the question of how they _all_ knew of my feelings toward Edward. So I asked Esme again.

"Well, like I said, us girls pretty much know the way your mind operates, and we could see the sparks flying between you two," she said. "Plus, I've seen how you treat him at work as well, which only strengthened our inklings. As for the guys, that's tougher to say. Alice thinks Jasper reads people very well – probably something he picked up during his military training and government jobs. Carlisle was funny about it; he didn't say anything after that night at Alibi, but one night a few weeks ago, he was making me dinner and he just blurted it out. And he didn't even ask me; it was more of a statement: 'So, Isabella and Edward.' It was like he already knew it somehow."

My mind worked feverishly as Esme explained; I tried to devise ways of ensuring the guys would keep this information from Edward, but short of showing them cement shoes, I had no solution. This was out of my control – and I despised that. I needed to regain the upper hand here.

"So what should I do about this," I asked my friend. "Obviously this is an impossible situation. And he can't know how I feel about him; it would ruin the professional climate we've worked so hard to create. Shit."

Esme chuckled softly and once more proved to me just how good she truly was.

"Bella, I can't tell you what to do about your feelings for him; that's something you need to decide," she began. "But office romances happen every day, I can assure you. In fact, Jacob and Angela have been dating for about six months now, and I don't think that it's affected their working relationship in the slightest."

"What? Really?" I was stunned by this bit of news. But I suppose I shouldn't have been, given my apparent obliviousness to what was going on at Swan & Platte. It's not like any of my employees would share their personal lives with me; that was Esme's forte. With a sigh, I attempted to refocus on the current crisis.

"Esme, if Angela and Jacob want to date, that's their prerogative," I said with a bit of a jealous tone of voice. "But as the president of our company, I can't do whatever I please; and I _certainly_ can't do it with a subordinate. What else can I do but just ignore the whole issue?"

She was silent, surely not wanting to interfere beyond her previous bit of advice, and I felt as hopeless as I had before. It was a good thing I was alone tonight; I was going to need some time to resign myself to _not_ having feelings for Edward.

After I said good night to Esme, I curled up again on my sofa, this time with my favorite silk pajamas, the throw made by my grandmother and a large glass of red wine. _Tomorrow is Sunday and I don't care about the consequences of the wine. I'll have time to sleep it off._

Though the television screen flickered with colorful images, my eyes didn't register them. Instead, I saw, through my mind's eye, images of Edward – him in his suits, his perfectly messy bronze hair, his penetrating blue-green eyes, his strong jaw, high cheekbones, full and pouty lips. And then I added the new images of him from the day – him in jeans and a dark t-shirt and the hard planes of his chest that I had begun noticing through his shirts.

_Not helping yourself, here._ After draining my glass, I switched off the TV and decided bed was in order – now that I had completely worked myself into a sex-starved frenzy. Tucking myself into bed, I searched for my battery-operated friend, but came up empty. _Shit._ Feeling disparaged at my own inability to control myself and my world, I threw the covers over my head, still unsatisfied. Before drifting into a fitful sleep, I decided what must be done.

Edward Cullen was under my employ, and as long as he continued in that capacity, I _would not_ deviate from my role as his boss. I could not allow myself to have feelings for him. And because I felt certain of the mutual attraction or at least fascination between us, I was now even more determined to ensure that his distaste for me was complete. My heart clenched a bit at the thought of it; I had never considered myself a devious or purposely detestable person, but this was the sacrifice of a successful businesswoman and nothing more.

Parts of my mind scurried to find an alternative, but my rational brain could determine no other way. _Surely he'd hate me, professionally and now personally, and then it would be settled. One cannot care for that which one despises. Love and hate simply cannot occupy the same space._ And by ensuring my survival, I was guaranteeing his as well, I reasoned.

This was business.

_Okay, now don't shoot me for having Bella be so damned stubborn. You can understand the position she's in, right? What would you do?_


	9. Chapter 9: In Preparation

_# _

_Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just decided it was time to shake things up a bit in her characters' world. And I wanted a bitchy Bella, so here we go! _

_Oh, and all of the references used in this story in relation to the advertising and marketing company and accounts are only used here for entertainment purposes; no copyright infringement intended._

_A special thanks to my wicked awesome beta, Flyaway Dove. Bella and Edward thank you too, hon!_

_Thanks also to angelicwish for helping me learn the ropes and to Selita, as well as all of you who have commented on my story. You all keep me writing!_

_Okay, so some of you might be wondering when the hell we're going to get down to the lemons, and I assure you, it will happen! When it does, boy will it be sweet! But there needs to be some pain, suffering and tension first! HaHa!_

**Chapter Nine: In (p)reparation**

Time was not on our side. We had two weeks before the conference and the clock was ticking. And I was completely stressed. The presentation materials and products we planned to present were not completed. I was waiting on the printers, the graphic designers, my staff and Edward, and I could _swear_ my hair was graying with the anxiety. Between actual work and my efforts to make Edward despise me, I could barely keep up with myself. _Which was funny, sad and ironic._ Even Esme was avoiding me now, except for our weekly lunch dates. She knew to leave me alone when I was cramming like this.

There was a tentative knock on my door and I answered with an annoyed, "Yes?" Edward rushed through the door, with a large box partially obscuring his beautiful face. _Focus Bella._

"Ms. Swan, the brochures have come back from the printers," he said, slightly out of breath. "I thought you'd want to look at the finished product before I pack them for the conference." Then he stood there with the box still in his hands, and I got impatient.

"Well, put them down and open them then," I huffed. He seemed to be in a fog, but quickly snapped out of it and put the box down on one of the chairs in front of my desk. I handed him my silver letter opener and he gently sliced through the tape. At first Edward's face was excited. Then I watched it fall as he examined the contents. A sense of dread washed over me, and instantly I felt ill.

"Edward, what is it?"

Nervously he ran his fingers through his hair once before answering me.

"Shit. Um, sorry. The brochures are all backwards. The printer must've mixed up the pages somehow when we sent them the file." He held one of them out to me and I snatched it out of his hand with such force that it tore where his thumb had been.

"You've _got_ to be kidding me! This is completely unacceptable! We don't have time for mistakes," I growled. "These all need to go back immediately. _Now_, Edward. And don't come back until you've resolved this."

Granted, it was a bit harsh, and it wasn't Edward's fault that the brochures had been misprinted, but I needed to impress upon him the direness of the situation. It was also a perfect opportunity to flex my inner bitch muscles at his expense.

For a moment he just stood there gaping at me, with a look that bordered on disbelief with, I imagined, some disappointment and disgust mixed in, and then he sprang to action. Edward practically threw the box onto his shoulder and spun on his heel, calling behind him as he went:

"I'm on it, Ms. Swan. Don't worry – I'll get this fixed right away."

After he was gone I let my head fall into my hands; I massaged my temples hoping it would soothe the pounding headache that was threatening. _Why does shit always have to go wrong? I don't need this right now._ Instead of letting a migraine and my stress defeat me, I reviewed – for the tenth time – the conference itinerary, my lecture notes and the Powerpoint presentation documents Edward had prepared for my approval the week prior. Over and over I told myself that he and I were prepared for this; that what we planned to present to the other agencies attending would prove, once again, the merit of Swan & Platte.

Once I had calmed myself with my obsessive compulsive preparations, I considered Edward's demeanor during our short exchange. Instead of reacting to my demands as he usually did – the if-looks-could-kill glower and nose pinching – he had taken instantaneous steps to remedy the crisis. The sudden shift made me suspicious – and a little nervous. _What is he up to? I really need to stop worrying about whatever game he's playing; there's too much to do._ Truly I didn't have time to concern myself with Edward. I had real work to occupy my time. At that moment Jessica buzzed my intercom to let me know my late morning conference call was ready.

"Ms. Swan, excuse me. The Seattle Art Museum staff and board members are on line one and ready for you," she said.

_Shit._

I had directed Edward to schedule this conference call with the SAM for me last week; we all needed to collaborate on marketing for their upcoming Warhol exhibition, as well as brochures and other materials for the Seattle Asian Art Museum's Japanese woodblock print exhibit. Of course, Edward was supposed to be on the call with me, but I had sent him out. There was no time for stalling, and I quelled the ire churning in my stomach. _Not his fault, Bella. You sent him to the printer._

"Hello Kate, Peter, Siobhan and Alistair. Thank you for making yourselves available for this call," I said into the speaker, making sure to keep my voice calm and even.

It wasn't crucial that Edward be present for our call, but since I had transitioned him to the majority of my accounts, it was preferable that he be the one to do most of the brainstorming. Silently I hoped that he'd somehow make it back to the office before I had to disclose this shortcoming to our clients. The simple fact was that I was no longer as up-to-date with them as he was. And he had the file, too, of course.

"As you know, we'd like to get some initial ideas and expectations from you all on what you'd like to see from Swan & Platte to publicize your two upcoming exhibitions," I continued, trying to buy Edward (and myself) some time while I searched my computer for a copy of their client profile. "These are undoubtedly two of your most important shows next year, and we want to ensure you are satisfied with the end-product."

A recessed part of my brain deliberated my options while I blathered on about our company and what we could offer the SAM. It occurred to me, piteously, that if Edward treated me with the same disregard and contempt that I had him, he'd take his sweet time getting back to the office. In effect, he'd purposely leave me high and dry with the client, and it would be my own fault. Granted, I'd still make him suffer, but it certainly would put a well-deserved point in his column.

_You did this, Bella. You've turned this into a game of one-upmanship and now it's biting you in the ass. Time to taste your humble pie, woman._

There was mostly silence on the other end of the phone. I cringed as I prepared to commit one of the worst sins in business – admitting I wasn't totally educated on my client's needs – when a blur of gray and bronze rushed past my window.

Edward had saved me.

And I couldn't find fault in it, get angry with it or poke holes in it. All I could do was smile gratefully at him as he quietly and quickly folded himself into one of the chairs at my desk and spoke to everyone as if he had been sitting with me all along. Edward quickly jumped into the discussion, which allowed me to sit back and watch him work.

_Gotta hand it to him; he's good. And he saved my ass. Truth be told, I probably wouldn't have done the same if I had been in his position. Nope; I definitely would not have done the same thing. Is this a peace offering? Do I want a peace offering?_ I discarded those thoughts for the time being and tried to concentrate on the call.

"Great – I've got it all here in front of me, and my team will get to work on this right away," Edward enthused. "I want you all to know you're in great hands with Swan & Platte at the helm. We'll be in touch next week and I'll be sending you mock-ups the following week. Ms. Swan and I already have some great marketing ideas, based on what you've given us; you'll be pleased with the results, I'm sure."

We both listened to the excited commentary on the other end, and then I concluded the conference call and thanked them all for their time. Once I disconnected the line, Edward sat back in his chair with a grin stretched from ear to ear. For a moment, neither one of us said a word. Then, swallowing hard, I decided it was time to see about that humble pie.

"Edward, thank you for getting here in time for the conference call," I began. His mouth dropped open slightly at the mention of "thank you," but I continued, fearful I'd lose my nerve. "I truly appreciate your dedication to your work, and…I, um…just don't want you to think it goes unnoticed." _That was okay, right? I don't want to inflate his ego._

Nervously I looked down and began fidgeting with the edge of my legal pad as the silence in the room threatened to suffocate me. _Why does he have this effect on me?_

I never fidget.

"You're welcome," he finally replied. And then he was silent again. _What? Should I say something else? Why is he still here? _

"If you'll excuse me, I need to make a few phone calls," I said, in an effort to dislodge him from my office. "And I'm sure you'll want to get started on those ideas of _ours,_ correct?"

Edward took a deep breath and then exhaled forcefully, offered me a crooked smile and stood up, adding, "Yes, of course. Would you like me to meet with you early next week to show you what I have so far?"

"That would be fine, Edward," I replied. "Please don't forget to factor in any last-minute preparations for the conference. I've handled the majority of it, but let's try to plan ahead, in case there are additional mishaps. And please, when you get the corrected brochures, make sure they are, in fact, _corrected_."

"Ms. Swan, I can assure you that it will not happen again, but yes, I will do all of that," he replied. I watched the vein in his forehead protrude, and wondered if he was developing a headache. He opened his mouth again, but then shut it. With a nod, he left my office.

*************

The week passed quickly, and the following Monday Edward and I met so he could present me his draft ideas for the SAM account. After making a few suggestions and changes, I sent him back to the marketing team for some brainstorming, since I knew he told the museum he'd be in touch with them on Thursday. He must have been a bit anxious - with the SAM work and the impending conference – but, as usual, he never let it show.

I provided Edward with as much feedback on his SAM ideas as I could muster, but frankly I doubted I was very useful. He didn't need it, though, as evidenced by the call I received from Kate the day after his meeting with the board and staff, I received a phone call from Kate. They had loved the ideas and mock-ups, and Kate practically gushed over Edward's competence and his skill at meeting and surpassing their expectations.

"You've snagged a good one there," she said to me candidly. Swan & Platte had worked with Kate and the SAM before, so apparently she felt comfortable enough with me to be frank. "Make sure you keep him happy, okay? He's quite a gem."

I thanked her for the compliment. After saying that we knew how lucky we were to have him, I asked her to keep in touch and to call me if she needed anything. _We _do_ know how lucky we are…don't we?_

***********

Edward and I had a late Friday night flight to Chicago, which would leave us two days to adjust to the time change and organize ourselves for our first session on Monday morning. Thankfully Esme had booked us in first class, so our flight was comfortable and I dozed a few times, despite my nerves. The first time I awoke, someone had covered me with a blanket. Edward was reading a book – Maus – one of my all-time favorites. I stretched like a cat and he asked me if I slept well.

"Mmm-hmm," I answered sleepily, glancing at the book cover. "That's one of my favorite books. Spiegelman's use of animals to represent the different races, especially to tell the story of something that's beyond description, is so original, I think."

"Anthropomorphism," Edward replied, nodding.

"Huh?"

"Anthropomorphism – the attribution of human traits to non-human creatures," he said. "It's an interesting way to, as the author says, express the inexpressible. I've always been captivated by the story, and the telling of it in comic strip form."

_Am I still dreaming, or are Edward and I actually having a conversation? And it's not even work-related!_ Quietly, I reveled in the moment, and resisted the urge to tell him that I knew what the word meant. Then Edward surprised me by continuing the banter.

"So, if you could be any type of animal, what kind would you be," he asked me, his bright emerald eyes drifting away from the book and to my face. _God, he's beautiful. I really should go back to sleep._ I considered his rather odd question (likely routed in elementary psychology) for a few moments, and two very different answers came to mind.

"Do I have to just pick one?"

"Well, I suppose this time I'll allow more than one," he said with a smile. "Two then, okay?"

"I'd want to be a horse," I answered. "They're majestic, graceful, beautiful and deceptively strong. They can travel great distances and carry heavy loads, and I think of them as very noble creatures. And they're very stubborn, too, of course."

I wondered if he'd comment on the similarities there.

Edward pondered my answer and then said, "Strength and weakness embodied. They are also quite susceptible to injury. It's an interesting balance of power and frailty." Since I hadn't considered that, I simply nodded. Then he asked me what my other choice would be.

"Probably a bee," I said.

"You went from a horse to an insect that stings?" he asked, laughing. "I can't wait to hear this explanation. Please."

"Not all bees sting," I reminded him with a sideways glance. "Bees are hard-working and loyal, and strictly from a biological perspective, they are essential to every living thing on this earth. The most fascinating thing about them, I think, is that they all work together toward a common goal. No one bee decides it's time to strike out and go it alone – screw the hive and all that. They are all connected to each other and to the world."

When I had finished my long-winded discourse on the matter of animals, I felt certain that Edward was internally sizing me up, picking apart my answers to get to the root of me. Despite having prepared for that, his scrutiny made me uncomfortable, so I turned the question on him.

"So…what about you," I asked. "If we're being fair, you're also allowed two."

"Then I'd be either a stag or a mountain lion," Edward answered quickly and assuredly.

"Hmm…let me see," I mused. _Let's see what he makes of this. _ "Brave, and definitely majestic as well. The mountain lion is calculating and stealthy, strong and efficient. A stag is proud, imposing and a leader, but still grounded. Is that about right?"

Edward laughed; he knew he'd obviously been caught trying to dissect me. He shook his head, and I watched him, completely transfixed. _And totally fucked. You need to keep your shit together for a whole week; don't start on the damn plane ride._

"Very good," he said. "I can see you paid attention in your Psych 101 class. So…do you think those characteristics are an accurate representation?" I knew what he was alluding to – whether I thought _he_ was all those things – but I couldn't answer him. At least not the way he wanted.

"Well, I certainly wouldn't want to encounter either alone in the woods," I said, one eyebrow raised for effect. "I'd definitely run the other way, though with the mountain lion, it would be pointless." He nodded, a smile spreading slowly across his face.

"Yes, it would be pointless."

The air seemed to crackle in the cabin, and it put me ill-at-ease, so I changed the subject before I could obsess too much about what Edward was thinking.

"Now that we're being candid, tell me – what do you do for fun," I asked, genuinely curious. I couldn't deny that part of me – and I wasn't sure yet how dominant that part was – was looking for more insight into the man sitting next to me. It seemed that I couldn't help myself.

Edward ran a hand through his hair, seeming a bit self-conscious, and said, "I, um, like to run. And I enjoy playing the piano and composing music." I nearly slid off my seat. _I knew it! Those fingers were meant for something great! Hopefully…stop it!_ While I collected myself, Edward blushed slightly and looked down at his book. Something compelled me, however, not to let him off the hook that easily.

"How long have you been playing _and_ composing," I asked. "I have to say, Edward, that's impressive. It must be difficult to create something like that from nothing. I envy those who dabble in the fine arts. I might be a whiz at business, but I can't carry a tune or even draw a convincing stick figure."

"Um, I've been playing since I was eight, but only recently started composing," he replied, the blush deepening. "And it's never really creation from nothing; there are things around me and things that happen to me – beautiful _and_ repulsive – that inspire me and so I like to think of it as just transforming life into music." As if he suddenly realized who he was talking to, he became silent, and with a quick smile in my direction he picked up his book once more.

Sensing his discomfort, I rested my head back and pulled the blanket up under my chin. Closing my eyes, I considered his words, and the impact they had on me.

Edward Cullen was an artist, a stag and a mountain lion. He was an old, tortured soul; I was sure of it. And I craved more - much more. Before I drifted off to sleep again, I remembered Edward's blush, and smiled to myself.

"I like that idea – transforming life into music," I murmured, without opening my eyes. "That sounds really nice. I wonder what my song would sound like." The cabin was silent except for the quiet drone of the air conditioning, and everything quickly faded away.

If I had managed to stay awake a few seconds more, I would have felt the fingertips that hesitantly brushed my cheek. But I didn't.

_Oooh! Touching!! We have touching, people! Okay, I want to get a poll from my readers as to who's going to cave first. We all know they have the hots for each other, but Bella has sworn him off. But Eddie – he's a sneaky guy, and he made the first physical contact! Does it count, though? She's asleep!_

_It's a whole weekend before they have to work, so anything can happen! Are you as excited as I am? I can't wait to see what these crazy kids will do!_


	10. Chapter 10: Stuck together

_Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just decided it was time to shake things up a bit in her characters' world. And I wanted a bitchy Bella, so here we go! _

_Oh, and all of the references used in this story in relation to the advertising and marketing company and accounts are only used here for entertainment purposes; no copyright infringement intended._

_As always, thank you Thank You to Flyaway Dove, who's not only beta-ing this story but my other one as well! _

_*shameless plug* - Check it out – Two Worlds Collide (by LauraLoo7)_

_Thanks also to angelicwish for providing me with feedback on how this story is flowing – I heart you! Shouts to Lita and my bestie Jennay who both keep me going and devour my chapters faster than I can churn them out! Love you!_

_Okay, everyone…there are games afoot. I'm trying something new in Bella's head; please let me know if it works, or is too sappy, given her usual state of mind. Thanks!_

_A whole weekend to mess with each other. It's going to be fun! Woot!_

**Chapter Ten: Stuck together**

Our plane landed before sunrise in Chicago, and as usual, it was windy as hell and snowing. After collecting our luggage, Edward ventured outside to hail a taxi while I kept watch over our bags. Thankfully it was a short ride to the hotel, and by the time the sun had risen behind the thick cloud cover, I was in my room with the curtains drawn. Esme had booked us with rooms next to each other, so when I heard a soft knock on my door, I knew it was Edward. When I opened it, he stood before me, clad in only a white t-shirt and navy blue mesh shorts. _Damn._

"Are you settled in? Is your room okay," he asked, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, visibly uncomfortable. My room was more than okay; I'd have to thank Esme for booking me in the suite. I wondered briefly what kind of room Edward had, and then told myself it was of no consequence.

"Yes, it's fine, thank you," I said wearily. "I know it's probably not advisable, but I'm going to take a short nap and freshen up. And then we can start organizing the presentation materials, displays and everything else." Edward's face fell infinitesimally, but he recovered just as quickly as it happened. If I hadn't been watching him so closely – you know, ogling and all – I might have missed it.

"So where are you going," I asked.

"I thought I'd go for a run on one of the treadmills down in the gym," he said. "Um, I guess I'll check back with you after my run and shower, if that's okay. We have all day to get organized, and I labeled everything, so it shouldn't take too much time." He lingered in the doorway, ran his fingers through his messy hair and exhaled loudly. After waiting there a few moments he added, "Okay, then I'll see you in a bit. Have a good nap." And then I watched him walk down the hall toward the stairwell.

Feeling exhausted, I pulled off my jeans and sweater, and literally crawled under the covers of my very plush pillow-top bed, and I was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. My dreams were filled with fleeting images of _him_, his hands, that shock of bronze hair, and other parts of him I'd only seen covered by tailored suits and expensive jeans. But that didn't stop my subconscious, however, from taking certain liberties as I imagined his hands and mouth on me. How his tongue would feel lapping the sensitive skin on my belly; how his kisses would feel traveling up my neck and then across my bare back.

"Oh God, Edward, don't stop…"

I awoke with a start, clutching the sheets, my heart racing. It took me a moment to realize where I was, and after a few very tense seconds, with no sound from the next room, I released the breath I had been holding. _Probably the _most_ inopportune time to be talking in my sleep. _All I could do was hope I hadn't actually voiced my request. Glancing at the clock, I realized I'd been asleep for more than an hour. Despite it being a Saturday, I wanted to get a start on Monday, so I hopped out of bed, stripping on my way to the bathroom and got into the shower. Traveling always made me feel grimy. The multiple jets felt amazing on my skin and helped to wake me up.

After getting dressed – jeans again, a tank and a sweater – I decided to go see if Edward had returned from his workout. Knocking on the door, I mentally rehashed the list of things I wanted to accomplish today, and then the door opened and all my thoughts scattered like the ashes from an extinguished fire.

Edward was standing unpretentiously in the doorway, dressed in _only_ jeans, rubbing his wet hair with a towel. _Fuck. Me. Twice. Please._ My brain was incapacitated by the sight of him – wet, tousled hair; lean and muscular shoulders, arms and torso; jeans perfectly displaying the infernal V and his bare feet. It was such a comfortable and unassuming posture, and as I struggled to process the sensory overload, my mind wandered.

_Exulting beauty, phantom of an hour,_

_Whose magic spells enchain the heart,_

_Ah! What avails thy fascinating pow'r,_

_Thy thrilling smile, thy witching art?_

"Uh, sorry. I, uh, just got out of the shower," he stammered, suddenly contrite. "Is something wrong?" His question jolted me from my daydream, and I stammered a reply that was _meant_ to be reassuring and nonchalant.

"N-no. Nuh-nothing's wrong Edward," I managed. _Or not. _"I just wanted to get working and…well, I came over to see if you were ready." _Fucking brilliant B. And what's with the fucking poetry?_

"Sure. Let me just throw on a shirt, and I'll be right over," he offered, with a compulsory smile. "You're room, right?" _Yes. I have a nicer bed, most likely. Right – work! _I just nodded and turned back to my room, needing an escape in order to collect myself. Instead of letting the door close, I flipped the large latch over and then assessed the state of the suite. Suddenly feeling self-conscious, I made sure my clothing, specifically my unmentionables, was tucked away and that my bed was neat. After my obsessing was done, I made myself busy with unpacking the materials until I heard a light knock and called for Edward to come in.

He walked into the suite and took in the furnishings; I could tell by the look on his face that it was a nicer room than his. I offered him a bottled water from the refrigerator and motioned for him to sit at the table in the living area between the kitchen and bedroom. We unpacked the remainder of the packages and spread them out on the table, floor and couch. Taking a seat at the table, I motioned for Edward to sit opposite me, and quickly occupied myself with the task at-hand.

_An evil spirit, your beauty, haunts me still,  
Wherewith, alas, I have been long possess'd,  
Which ceaseth not to tempt me to each ill,  
Nor gives me once but one poor minute's rest._

Hours later, and I still fought to stay focused on work. When my butt fell asleep and my back began to ache, I rose and stretched, and then moved to the plush carpeted floor. Admittedly, it was a bit juvenile – like lying on my stomach on the floor in my room doing my homework – but it soothed my screaming back and changed the scenery. For a few minutes Edward at first stayed seated at the table, but then he too got up and mimicked the position next to me.

"I just thought this would be more comfortable," I reasoned, in case he thought it strange. He smiled and started looking over some of the materials we had piled on the floor. Edward was almost shoulder-to-shoulder with me, and more than once I watched him, out of the corner of my eye, glance at me like he wanted to say something.

"Edward, I think we should use these brochures with _this side_ of the display," I said, suggesting a change to our planned set up for the convention booth. It was a two-sided, layered monstrosity with a table on either side and the placement of every product had to be perfect. "See how these two really pertain more to that display? I think they'll complement it in a way that the others don't." As I said this I held up the brochures in question, prompting Edward to lean closer to me.

_In me it speaks, whether I sleep or wake;  
And when by means to drive it out I try,  
With greater torments then it me doth take,  
And tortures me in most extremity._

He smelled so good. Fresh and earthy and that indescribable masculine aroma; it made my damned mouth water. I could feel that his entire body was even closer now, without even looking behind me; the intimacy elicited an army of goose bumps to erupt all over my body. And when his fingers brushed mine as he pulled the brochures from my hand, it sent a jolt of electricity through me and I gasped.

"Oh!"

Edward unleashed the full force of his dark gaze – almost a forest green now – as I pulled my hand back instinctively, shielding my fingers inside a closed fist. _What was that?_ There we were, our noses nearly touching, and in that moment I felt myself ripped in two: I wanted everything and nothing from him. The desire to have his lips, hands and every other part of him on me, in me, around me was suffocating. Flames of unreasonable longing threatened to burn my body alive, while my mind attempted to snuff them out with pitifully crafted logic. A war was raging inside me, and I felt as if it were being played out behind my eyes, for Edward to see.

I watched as his pupils dilated and his lips twitched, and I licked mine as a subconscious gesture to mirror him. "Did you feel that," I asked, my voice barely a whisper. He nodded but said nothing. The intensity of his gaze completely unnerved me, so I filled the silence.

"Um, must have been static from the carpet," I offered lamely.

_Before my face it lays down my despairs,  
And hastes me on unto a sudden death;  
Now tempting me to drown myself in tears,  
And then in sighing to give up my breath._

He blinked a few times and then his eyes seemed to change again – less like forest green and back to their brilliant emerald shade – and his expression shifted with it.

"Yeah, must've been from lying on the carpet," he murmured. He leaned away from me to grab his water bottle, and used the movement to put some space between us. My instant reaction was one of hurt, but I quickly scolded myself for it. Edward cleared his throat and answered my initial question.

"Sure, that's fine, if you want to rearrange things," he said, putting the brochures on the carpet again. "Whatever you want." And again my body felt the ache of a moment gone-by, an opportunity lost. I sighed as the last of the flames were reduced to steam – still hot to the touch but no real danger.

Thanks to Edward, the labeling really helped and in no time we had the brochures, booklets and other printed materials organized. The boards had traveled well, and we slipped those back into the oversized portfolio cases after inspecting them. Then I suggested we review the Powerpoint presentations again. I wanted to observe Edward and time him.

"Why don't we take a break and grab something to eat," he suggested, and my stomach growled on-cue. "Maybe we can grab an early dinner. It's already four-fifteen." _Wow. Where has this day gone? Oh, that's right; you've been held captive in your head all day. _ I agreed and freshened up while Edward padded next door to put on shoes and his jacket. I met him out in the hallway and we went down to the lobby to ask the concierge about some local spots. The woman behind the desk suggested a few places and we decided Greek was in order, and hailed a taxi to The Greek Islands.

The ride over was quiet; I was trying to make sense of the mess in my head and couldn't be bothered with idle conversation. Why was this so difficult? Scolding myself for what seemed like the hundredth time, I chastised my cerebral self for not getting my hormonal side under control. Truly, I was making an effort to be nicer; but it was a constant war in my head and I knew my actions and words must be all over the map. _Nasty and nice, stiff and relaxed, formal to friendly and back. _I must be confusing the shit out of Edward; I know I was confusing the shit out of me. _God, I wish the girls were here, to pull me out of this…whatever it is._

Esme, I knew, would choose to focus on the fact that I was trying to be less of a tyrant, but with mixed success and manic mood swings. She'd be supportive regardless. Rose would undoubtedly tell me to screw him and get it out of my system; the girl could always be counted on to expose the crux of the problem. Alice, bless her heart, would surely tell me to surrender to my emotions and see where it took me. But I'd been there before; hell, they'd all been there with me. And every time, like clockwork, it would implode and I'd be left with one more battle scar, one more brick to add to my impenetrable wall. Another reason why I couldn't actually _have it all_ and a reminder that I didn't have time for a man in my life.

This connection – or whatever it was – with Edward confounded me, angered me, frustrated the hell out of me, and drew me to him like a damned magnet. It was as if he was a flame and I was the moth; there was no thought, no sense of self-preservation – just an instinctual compulsion. How long could I keep up the farce? We needed to maintain the professional boundary and I was determined to be the one to uphold it no matter what, but it was becoming increasingly onerous. And why did I take this on myself completely, like it was my new raison d'etre? I knew I was tough, damn it, but with Edward it was like raising the bar. _Damn it, I'm not a horrible person, although no one would know that by observing me._

Suddenly I felt denigrated and hopeless, despite it being my own doing. But what could I do? It was so ingrained, so deeply rooted in the person I presented to the world. Was I hopeless? Was this all my fault? And was I damning myself to a successful but personally empty life? The lurch of the taxi as it stopped distracted me from my mental flogging.

"Ms. Swan, are you coming?" Edward bent over with his head in the door of the cab, and I cringed now at the sound of my name on his lips. _Ms. Swan. How utterly cold. And appropriate._ I smiled weakly and nodded, scooting over the seat to step onto the sidewalk in front of the restaurant. We were seated quickly at a small table in a dimly-lit corner of the restaurant, which was fine with me. It felt like my shame was written all over my face, and the less lighting to bring attention to it, the better. This was an entirely foreign emotion.

Edward appeared confused by my silence, but ordered a bottle of wine and fava and grilled peta bread as an appetizer. After the waiter had poured our glasses and departed, Edward leaned over the table and looked intently at me.

"Is everything alright," he asked seeming, strangely enough, genuinely concerned. "You've been really quiet since we left the hotel. Is something bothering you?" I exhaled loudly in reply, but couldn't find the words. I didn't want to lie to him, but there was no way in hell I was ready to be completely honest.

"I'm fine," I said, my reassurance coming out harsh. His expression faltered slightly, so I continued. "I'm just preoccupied with the conference and want this to go well. It's nothing." Edward's expression slid off his beautiful face as he read my tone and demeanor. And as I watched him gather himself, a hardened look now spreading across his visage, I felt another piece of my wall crumble.

_He looks like I'm torturing him, slowly. Am I? Oh my God. I am. I've done it again. He was expressing concern for my well-being and I rebuked him._ For all of the self-reflection I'd done since he came to work at Swan & Platte, I was still utterly useless, a shadow of the person I used to know. And I had no idea how to get that girl back. Quickly I reached for my full wine glass and drained the contents. The red wine immediately warmed my skin and I smacked my lips.

"Look, Edward," I began, but then stopped. Looking down into my lap, I tried to summon the courage to start this conversation. If I didn't say something, I was sure now that I'd lose him. "I'm…I'm sorry."

At these words, I glanced up to find him looking at me with a mixture of surprise and incredulity. Then he quickly reassembled the business-like façade and replied.

"I'm sorry too," Edward said. "For saying things I shouldn't have, and for not living up to your expectations of me. What I said that night – it was wrong. You didn't deserve that. I understand now."

"First of all, Edward, you _have_ lived up to Esme's and my expectations," I said softly, adding a half-smile. "And as for what you said that night – like I said before – let's just forget it." Then I replayed the last bit of what he'd said. "And what do you mean that you _understand_?"

"Well, I understand that you're a successful businesswoman, and you have worked really hard to get to where you are," he answered. So far he was right, so I nodded. "I know that there's a double standard in the corporate world; if a man's aggressive it's a favorable trait. Not so for a woman. It's a burden that you have to shoulder, and I just want you to know that I respect that."

As I drank my wine I considered his comments. Nothing that he said was untrue, but it seemed like I was missing something, though what, I couldn't ascertain. My thoughts were beginning to get fuzzy around the edges as we ordered; Edward got the roasted lamb and I the mousaka. By the time our meals arrived, I ordered another bottle of wine for us.

"So, is that all," I asked him and taking another gulp. The sarcasm that accompanied the question was involuntary, though now I was determined to connect the dots. "_That's_ your understanding of me?"

Edward looked at me with confusion. I admit that I was waiting for more – an insult, a derogatory comment, something that would relay to me that my sabotage had been successful; something that would give him up. So many times when we had been together, I could feel the aggression rolling off him in waves, crashing right into me. But I wanted a confirmation; as if that would somehow make it all worthwhile. I don't know what the hell I was thinking.

"I don't understand," he began, visibly put-off. "I'm just sharing with you my observations. What I really wanted to know was if something was bothering _you_."

"Well, it seems that you know exactly what's _bothering _ me, Edward," I countered. "Apparently because I'm a successful businesswoman, I'm an emotional train wreck. Isn't that what you're getting at?"

Once more, Edward gaped at me from across our little table, and suddenly I wished the distance between us were greater. He looked like he wanted to punch me.

"No, that's not what I meant, and you know it, damn it! Why do you have to be like this," he asked, exasperated, gesturing with a long-fingered hand. "God, I was just trying to…forget it. Just forget it."

My brain was two paces behind, slowed by the wine, as he looked around us, spying the exit. He dropped his fork onto the plate, and then his napkin, and pushed his chair back loudly. Pulling on his coat, he looked at me again, and this time there was anger and resignation in his green eyes.

"Look, I'm sorry for whatever distress I might have caused you these past two months, but it's done now," he said, his bitterness palpable. "I've tried to make this work, for my career and for Esme, but I've hit a wall. Please excuse me."

Swiftly he walked away from the table, leaving me sitting there like a jilted lover. I sprang out of my seat and reached the door just as his hand made contact with it. Unfortunately I had been unprepared for this type of outburst, and my anger boiled over.

"Where do you think you're going? Don't you _dare_ make this about me," I fumed. "I've seen your type so many times before; hotshot exec who thinks he's the best thing since sliced bread. People like you come and go in our profession. Don't think that just because you're good at your job that you're irreplaceable."

_Thus am I still provok'd to every evil  
By this good-wicked spirit, sweet angel-devil._

In retrospect, it was like watching a car crash in slow motion; I saw it all happening, but it was like an out-of-body experience and I was powerless to control it. First were the insults and the vocalization of all the thoughts I'd had when he first started at Swan & Platte. As soon as they leapt from my mouth I wanted to cram them back in like a squirrel hording acorns before winter. And then came his reaction, and the face that had become, sadly, so familiar to me: hardened eyes, jaw clenched and his face inches from mine. And then came the death blow.

"Ms. Swan, consider this my resignation. I will stay here in Chicago until the end of the conference, and do what you and Esme require of me, but nothing more," he said coldly. "I will contact Esme first thing in the morning to alert her of this change so that she can begin the process of selecting my replacement." And he pushed through the door and into the cold night air, leaving me once again.

Stunned into autopilot, I walked back to our table, paid the check and grabbed my coat. Wrapping it tightly around me, I stepped outside and started walking down the street. Somewhere around the fifth block I realized it had started snowing again.

Edward had quit.

And it was entirely my fault.

_Shit. Esme is absolutely going to kill me._

_**Author's Note: Okay gang. Sorry but this thing is just such a mess that there was no way Bella and Edward were going to immediately hold hands and make up. **_

_**So the drama will continue into the next chapter, to be sure.**_

_**Please let me know what you think and have faith – Bella is going to be taking a big bite of that humble pie soon!**_

_**Another note: just for point of reference, the poems I used here were from two sources. The first is a passage from **__Ode to Beauty by Mary Darby Robinson__** and the others are all taken, in sequence, from **__Idea XX: An evil spirit, your beauty, haunts me still__** by Michael Drayton. No copyright infringement intended here, either.**_


	11. Chapter 11: War and peace

_Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just decided it was time to shake things up a bit in her characters' world. And I wanted a bitchy Bella, so here we go! _

_Oh, and all of the references used in this story in relation to the advertising and marketing company and accounts are only used here for entertainment purposes; no copyright infringement intended._

_A gargantuan Thank You to Flyaway Dove, who's been kind enough to beta __**both**__ of my stories! Gracias! Danke shoen and all that, girl! You rock my literary world!_

_*shameless plug* - Check out my other story and let me know what you think – Two Worlds Collide (by LauraLoo7)_

_Thanks also to angelicwish for providing me with feedback on how this story is flowing – I heart you! As always, Hellooo and hugs to Lita and my bestie Jennay who both keep me going and devour my chapters faster than I can churn them out!_

_The games continue. This time, we get to see it all go down from Edward's point-of-view. And don't worry – it's time for Isabella to get in touch with her inner grovel beast. Oh, and trust me – there IS such a thing._

**Chapter Eleven: War and peace**

_**Edward POV**_

The week leading up to the conference had been awful and as the plane lifted off I decided it might be the only time I'd have in the next seven days to really relax. Isabella settled in and fell asleep quickly. I could imagine how little she must have been sleeping these days; I hadn't gotten much sleep either. Quietly, so as to not disturb her, I pulled the book out of my carry-on and began to read.

Even as I flipped the pages, I was acutely aware of her body in the next seat – quiet, peaceful and human. She shivered and I asked a passing flight attendant for a blanket, which I draped over her.

"Did you sleep well," I asked her when she awoke. She said yes and then, noticing my book, commented on the author and the characters. We discussed it for a few minutes, after we determined it was a mutual favorite, and I was pleased at the relative ease with which we conversed. Gauging her openness, I decided to explore further.

"So, if you could be any type of animal, what kind would you be," I asked, focusing on her. She objected to choosing just one, so we settled on two and she told me either a horse or a bee. Isabella was intelligent – this was no secret – but she seemed to be aware of the game I was playing. You can learn a lot from people and their personalities by asking this seemingly benign question. Laughing quietly, I asked her to explain her choices. _Very interesting._

"So…what about you," she asked. "If we're being fair, you're also allowed two."

I answered that I'd choose a stag or mountain lion, knowing she'd rise to the occasion and decipher my reply. After considering my choices for a moment, she smirked and started her analysis. I couldn't help but laugh; she knew how to play games. Trying to bait her, I asked if the characteristics were accurate, but she simply answered as if I was asking about the animals. And then she asked me about what I did for fun, and suddenly I had lost my playful advantage.

"I, um, like to run," I admitted. "And I enjoy playing the piano and composing music." She was impressed, she said, and asked me more about writing music. Secretly, I had been composing a song for about two months; it had changed many times along the way, but it was always fun to play and I never knew where the next note might lead. I explained that everything inspired me, and then shut my mouth. _Have I said too much?_ The silence seemed to signify the end of the conversation, and Isabella settled back under her blanket and closed her eyes.

"I like that idea – putting life to music," she said quietly, already drifting off again. "That sounds really nice. I wonder what my song would sound like."

As I watched her, I wondered how a woman could be so different, almost like two distinct people. She was simultaneously a formidable beast and opponent, and then just a little girl with a laugh that made me melt and a quick wit and wry sense of humor. Once her breathing had evened and slowed, I could resist no longer. I had to touch her, and I gently caressed her skin of her cheek as she slept.

"Mmmm…," she sighed as my fingers glided over her cheek. _I am in big trouble._

Maybe this weekend would be a turning point. At the very least I hoped it would allow me some time to get to know the real Isabella Swan. That is, if there was a different version that lived out of the suits and the prim hairdos, outside of the office and the briefcase and the bitchiness.

But Isabella was all business as soon as she had rested after our flight, and it disheartened me. How would I ever get to know her at all? This new plan of mine was, thus far, completely ineffective. In frustration, I cranked the speed on the treadmill in the hotel gym and decided to sweat out my disappointment. After my run, I ran back up the stairs two at a time, anxious to shower.

Feeling refreshed and having resigned myself to tackle work, I strode out of the bathroom in search of some clothes. And then I heard her. Isabella's muffled voice drifted through the thin wall and I moved closer, with my ear against the wallpapered surface. She was moaning and mumbling at first, but then I heard unmistakable words.

"Oh God, Edward, don't stop…"

Her whimper was thick with implications and yearning, and my dick twitched instinctively with each syllable. Suddenly incapable of any thought that _didn't _involve me breaking down her door and scooping her up in my arms, I stumbled back a few steps. Willing my body to calm the fuck down, I ran my fingers roughly through my hair.

_It couldn't be. Was I hearing things? Was she dreaming…about me?_ I sat there for a few more moments, wanting to hear more, a ridiculous smile plastered on my face. Isabella was dreaming about _me_ and she didn't want me to stop, whatever I was doing. Then I heard the shower turn on next door, and sat on the bed to catch the breath I seemed to suddenly be lacking. Part of me couldn't fathom why she'd be dreaming about me; the other part of me hoped against hope that it was a good sign. Maybe she liked me after all. Hell, maybe she had feelings…for _me_, somewhere down deep, under all that shitty angst.

The shower was off, and I knew Isabella must be getting ready, and I pulled on a pair of jeans making a valiant effort not to think of _naked_, _wet_ Isabella. There was a knock on the door and I walked to open it, grabbing a towel to dry my hair on the way. Isabella stood in the doorway, looking adorable and sexy – how does she do that to me – in jeans and a sweater. She asked if I was ready, and I told her I'd be over once I finished dressing. I couldn't get that fucking shirt over my head fast enough.

We worked for a while at the table in her very nicely appointed suite, but then she moved to the floor. I took it as a sign of her comfort level when she lay on her stomach. It was so damn cute. As Isabella worked she chewed absentmindedly on her pen and bounced her legs, which were bent and crossed behind her. I nearly swept her off the floor and onto her bed. She looked so vulnerable like that – deceptively so. I needed to be careful and keep myself – and my dick – in check.

But I figured I should move to the floor, too, so I tried to clear the thoughts from my mind and focus on the work. _The damn work._ Then I had to go and grab those brochures from her, and I got too close to the fucking flame. When our fingers touched it was like inserting a damned metal fork in an electrical outlet, and she gasped just as I felt the shock. _She had felt it too._ Then I _really_ looked at her – her beautiful heart-shaped face, those deep brown eyes, full lips open in surprise – and I swear I could hear her heart thudding against her chest. I wanted her so badly. I _needed_ her. God, did she know?

Then she offered static as the reason for the zap and all I could was stare, as I realized there was no way in hell I could kiss her or even touch her again. What the hell was wrong with me? This woman infuriated me, yet I was mesmerized and captivated by her, almost against my will. This was a futile state of affairs.

We took a much needed break for dinner, at my suggestion. With any luck, I reasoned I might be able to continue our conversation from the plane. Something happened on the taxi ride over, however, and she was quiet and icy and it left me confused – again. Internally, I threw my hands up in despair; what would it take to crack this woman? She ran so hot and cold. What the fuck?

I made an honest attempt to ascertain if something was wrong, and it backfired in glorious fucking fashion. She answered me with the usual disdain, and told me it was work that had her preoccupied. _Of course; I shouldn't even entertain the notion that she'd share her personal thoughts._ Once again I mentally chastised myself for childish ideas. And then she spoke those words and left me stunned.

"Look, Edward," she said, casting her glance downward. "I'm…I'm sorry."

She rendered me speechless for a moment. Was it a trap, a cheap parlor trick designed to force me to show my hand? With her, I could never determine her motivation, so I decided to play it safe, and simply be honest. I apologized to her for not meeting her expectations as a manager and added, for good measure, that I understood her position.

"First of all, Edward, you _have_ lived up to Esme's and my expectations," she said, managing a forced smile. "And as for what you said that night – like I said before – let's just forget it." And then she narrowed her eyes and added, "And what do you mean that you understand?" And I foolishly took the bait, like a lamb led to the slaughter. Shithead.

"Well, I understand that you're a successful businesswoman, and you have worked really hard to get to where you are," I offered. "I know that there's a double standard in the corporate world. If a man's aggressive it's a favorable trait. Not so for a woman. It's a burden that you have to shoulder, and I just want you to know that I respect that."

"So, is that all," she asked me, the sarcasm dripping thickly from her ruby lips as she took another drink of her wine. "_That's_ your understanding of me?"

It took a moment for me to register the shift in her demeanor. To anyone else it would have been nonexistent, the change from slightly uncomfortable and bitchy, to angry and bitchy. But I had plenty of experience with her moods by now, and I knew I needed to start backpedaling, even though I had committed no crime. A bit annoyed that I must further explain things, I said that I was sharing my observations and that my original inquiry had been of possible suffering on her part.

"Well, it seems that you know exactly what's _bothering_ me, Edward," she spat back. "Apparently because I'm a successful businesswoman, I'm an emotional train wreck. Isn't that what you're getting at?"

I gaped at her in disbelief, although by now this ridiculous behavior shouldn't have shocked me. Then I got pissed off. Screw this woman and her self-righteous ways.

"No, that's not what I meant, and you know it, damn it! Why do you have to be like this," I exclaimed. "God, I was just trying to…forget it. Just forget it."

Quickly I located an escape route and made my decision. Tomorrow I might regret this – just _maybe_. At this moment, I was a man on fire, incapable of backing down once provoked. And Isabella Swan had provoked me for the very last time. Leaving my dinner unfinished, I stood up and reached for my coat. Once I knew I was able to look upon her face without yelling, I addressed the woman who had been my sole source of frustration and stress for the last two months.

"Look, I'm sorry for whatever distress I might have caused you these past two months, but it's done now," I said. "I've tried to make this work, for my career and for Esme, but I've hit a wall. Please excuse me."

I walked as if wearing blinders; nothing but the door was visible to me, so I didn't notice the flurry of movement behind me. Just as I reached the exit, a smaller hand jutted out of the blackness and blocked my escape.

"Where do you think you're going? Don't you _dare_ make this about me," Isabella seethed, unleashing her full fury. "I've seen your type so many times before; hotshot exec who thinks he's the best thing since sliced bread. People like you come and go in our profession. Don't think that just because you're good at your job that you're irreplaceable."

Those words sealed our respective fates; in my mind, she would hopefully always regret being the cause for my decision. My fate was to forever be haunted by the brown eyes and hardened façade, and to never discover what lay beneath. And I would have to be okay with that. It was as if the two magnets had been flipped, suddenly polarizing us. I couldn't get away fast enough.

"Ms. Swan, consider this my resignation," I declared. Her face betrayed nothing. "I will stay here in Chicago until the end of the conference, and do what you and Esme require of me, but nothing more. I will contact Esme first thing in the morning to alert her of this change so that she can begin the process of selecting my replacement."

The cold evening air hit my face and the breath rushed out of me at once. The snow swirled around me as if it was angry, and the tickling sensation as the flakes hit my face calmed me somewhat. I didn't bother taking a taxi back to the hotel; the walk would do me good. Isabella didn't follow me and for once I had to give her credit. Nothing could be gained from any further conversation at this point.

_Fuck her for belittling me for the last time. Fuck me for taking this infernal job. And fuck my life for ever meeting Isabella Swan. _

Once I reached the doors of the hotel, I stood outside for a moment, staring up into the night sky and the lights of the skyscrapers around me. Feeling a bit more collected, I went through the entrance and straight up to my room, not bothering to take the stairs this time. My room was quiet – too much so – although I tried for a few minutes to relax with my book. After reading the same sentence for the seventh time, however, I surrendered and began pacing.

_Should I feel guilty? Why? She caused this mess. I've been putting up with her shit for two months. And when I call Esme tomorrow, Isabella will have her to answer to as well. Esme will eventually forgive her, but it probably won't happen overnight. Some day she needs to be held responsible for her attitude. I don't care what darkness lingers in her past. This kind of behavior is unacceptable. _

Where would I go now? There were plenty of other firms that would be glad to have me, I told myself. Surely Esme would try to win me over and convince me to stay. But this time I wouldn't let her. I couldn't. A drink was certainly in order after that ordeal, so I trudged down to the upscale hotel bar and settled into a glass of Laphroaig.

Halfway through my drink, I was feeling better. The fine whiskey burned on its way down my throat and warmed my insides. I hailed the bartender for another, and as he filled the glass, he looked up at me with a smile on his face.

"Bad night?" he asked. I smiled back, nodded, and pushed a twenty toward him. Thankfully he didn't press me further and went to attend to another customer. Checking my watch, I realized that an hour has passed since I left the restaurant. Silently I wondered what Isabella might be doing, and then shook my head to dislodge the thought. _I don't give a shit what she's doing. Hopefully she's still sitting in that restaurant, drowning her sorrows in her fucking wine. Like I am in here._

I chuckled aloud at the realization, but no one turned to look at the crazy guy at the bar, laughing into his whiskey. Once I'd finished my second drink, its effects were widespread: my aching muscles – once tensed for battle – had loosened, my heart rate had slowed to a steady tempo and my insides felt like they were turning to a pleasant mush. _I should send Laphroaig a thank you letter._

_ Dear Laphroiag Makers:_

_ I'd like to sincerely thank you for creating a brand of single malt whiskey that not only tastes like the ancient peat bogs of Scotland from whence it comes, but is quite effective in erasing unpleasant memories. Even the most unsavory mental images – horrible people, awkward social situations, unrequited feelings of lust and affection – can be swiftly and completely obliterated with one or two glasses of your liquid gold._

I was much too preoccupied penning the thank you letter in my head to see the woman who walked into the bar. And if I had noticed her, I probably would have turned tail and run screaming through the large plate glass window that showed a picturesque view of the street. If I had glimpsed her out of the corner of my eye, I would have observed her take a seat at the end of the bar, four stools away, and order a martini. But I didn't.

Later, when I felt a light touch on my shoulder, I probably should've paid for my drink and gotten the hell out of that place before anything else happened. But I didn't. And when Isabella Swan opened her fucking perfect lips and spoke to me, I should've ordered her to shut up and save her breath for some other asshole fool. But I didn't.

"Edward, I'm sorry…that I've been so rude," she said. I convinced myself that the whiskey was giving me auditory hallucinations. "I just think it's the best way. It's the only way."

I couldn't even muster a response, and didn't look up at her. Instead I focused on my drinking. There was nothing left in me, and certainly nothing left to discuss. What would be the point in rubbing salt in my own wound? Nothing I could say would have any positive effect on her, and it would most likely only serve as ammunition for her to further emasculate me. And I could not handle any more of that fucking shit.

Undeterred by my silence, Isabella took the stool next to mine, and I took her momentary distraction to hazard a glance. She had changed; the jeans were tighter, sexier and she had replaced her sweater with a dark top that clung to her petite frame and pushed her already perky breasts further skyward. Her hair was wavy and it pooled on her shoulders and cascaded down her back. And she wore those expensive-looking black heels. _Was she trying to finish me off with this damn outfit?_

"What are you drinking," she asked, with obvious discomfort. _Good. Let her fucking sweat. _When I ignored her, she told the bartender that she wanted another drink for me and another martini for her. The vodka seemed to give her courage.

"Edward, please…you can't quit," she almost pleaded. I thrilled at the new tone in her voice as I stared at my glass. "I…Esme and I need you. The firm needs you and your clients need you. Please."

This had to stop. If she actually thought that simple false shame and guilt would be sufficient to lure me back into her clutches, she was sorely mistaken.

"Ms. Swan, I won't let you do this," I said, finally looking at her, trying to focus on hating her. "No amount of entreating on your part will change my mind. We've been barely tolerating each other for the two months I've been working at Swan & Platte, and it must end here. You cannot treat people this way, Ms. Swan. If nothing else, I want to impress upon you the error and shortsightedness of your ways. People in general, and more specifically your employees, are not chess pieces to be played, or coffee cups to be discarded after you've drained them of their contents. I sincerely hope that someday you learn this, before you lose another employee. Then again, maybe I'm the only one you've despised in this way."

Quite possibly, she was drunk from the wine at dinner and the martini. Maybe she was feeling desperate. There was a chance it was another trick. Or perhaps something I had said finally made an impression on her. Those things I was unsure of. But when Isabella Swan looked at me again, her doe eyes brimming with tears, I felt the familiar magnetic pull, as if the two pieces had been flipped over again, and I cursed myself as she spoke.

"Edward, I'm so sorry, so very sorry," she whispered, her lower lip quivering. "I don't know what else to say. I've been a tyrant. It's horrible, inexcusable and I feel wretched about it." Then she sniffled as a solitary tear spilled over and ran down her cheek, and I had to grasp my glass even harder to restrain myself from catching it. "Have you ever dug yourself such a deep hole that you can't climb out, or even see the sky? I can't see the sky Edward. It's gone."

And then she did something that even _I _wasn't expecting, and it broke my heart. Isabella Swan started to cry. She let her head fall into her hands, there at the bar, and began to weep openly. I felt pity and remorse for her. She needed to stop crying. Nervously, I extended my hand and lightly placed it on her back, and when I made contact with her, she shivered, but did not object. Slowly I began rubbing in small, hesitant circles, until her sobbing subsided and her breathing slowed. Isabella raised her head so her gaze was level with mine, and I saw an unfamiliar person behind her brown eyes. It scared the piss out of me.

"I've made such a mess of things, haven't I?" she asked, and I offered her a half-smile as I took a sip of my drink. "Do you know that I've been walking through the city since dinner, trying to formulate some ingenious strategy for winning you back, and I've come up with nothing? I just knew that I couldn't let you call Esme tomorrow without giving this my best effort. Can I ask you something?"

I shrugged.

"Just for the remainder of tonight, can you and I agree to view each other as complete equals? As a guy and a girl – two people – who need to make the best of what they've been dealt?"

And although I had no intention of allowing her to dissuade me from resigning, part of me was curious to hear what she had to say. I'd grant her the rest of the evening, and she could say whatever she wished, whatever helped her sleep at night. And in the morning, I would call Esme. When I did not respond to her request, Isabella implored once more.

"I know I've done nothing to deserve your trust, Edward, but please give me this one thing," she beseeched me. "If by morning you still feel the same, I will accept your resignation and call Esme myself. And I will be the one to recommend you to my competitors when we return to Seattle. This is my fault and I'm prepared to accept responsibility for my actions."

"For the rest of the night, then, I'm just Edward and you're…?" I let my question trail off, not knowing how to proceed.

"Bella. Just Bella."

_Bella. Not Ms. Swan; not Isabella. Bella. Beautiful._

"Bella," I repeated, this time aloud, and extended my hand for her to shake, as if we were sealing a business deal or agreeing to a truce. _Fat fucking chance._

Bella grasped my hand, and when our fingers and palms connected, the electricity rippled through both of us, and we stared at each other in recognition of the familiar sensation. She withdrew her hand first from within my grasp, and started our new conversation in a rather unorthodox fashion:

"I'm damaged, Edward – a fucking mess."

_No fucking shit._

Over a few more drinks, she told me about her struggles in college and after, when she and Esme began their venture. She sipped her drink and then took gulps of a refreshed one as she described the men in her life, punctuating the more heinous relationships by roughly biting olives off the plastic toothpick in her drink. Bella even told me about her mother and father, their messy divorce and its long-lasting aftermath, and the money that someone could've procured had she attended legitimate therapy sessions (she said she thanked Alice, Rose and Esme for her "free therapy"). It was as if the floodgates had been opened. For so long I had yearned to know her, and now I was getting my wish in spades.

"Look, I know this in no way excuses my behavior over the last two months, but this is what I am," she offered. "These people and things have all shaped me, for better or worse, into the person I am now. I'm sure other people have it far worse, but this is my reality. I can't make excuses for any of it; I am who I am. But I…I wanted you to know that I wasn't always like this."

She stopped for a moment and took another swig from her martini, and then reached into her small black purse and retrieved an elastic band. With one sure movement of her hands she swept her long chocolate tresses up into a ponytail, and I watched with fascination. Then she turned her sad eyes back to me.

"Edward, I'm tired of fighting with you," she admitted, licking her lips. "It's exhausting, frankly. I mean, I might be a strict, no-bullshit boss, but this thing between us" – she gestured back and forth with her hand – "goes _way _beyond the norm for me." _Talk about understatement of the century. _She finished her martini and opened her mouth to say something, but I stopped her.

"Wait. I need to say something," I stated. "What are we supposed to do? I, uh, appreciate you being honest with me, but how does this change anything? We're not working right now. Are you going to tell me that tomorrow will be any different from any other day? And what happens on Monday? What happens when we get back to Seattle?"

Bella appeared to take this all in, and after getting the bartender's attention for another round, she started drawing circles in the ring of condensation left by her glass on the wooden surface. Just because I had agreed to her request didn't mean I was going to let the past two months slide without a second thought.

"Well, you agreed to give me the evening, so let's just see what happens, okay? No competition, no dirty pool, just me and you," she proposed.

Call me an idiot, but again, I couldn't say no.

_Please leave reviews and comments! Edward thanks you!_


	12. Chapter 12: A walk and then

_Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just decided it was time to shake things up a bit in her characters' world. And I wanted a bitchy Bella, so here we go! _

_Oh, and all of the references used in this story in relation to the advertising and marketing company and accounts are only used here for entertainment purposes; no copyright infringement intended._

_Gracias to Flyaway Dove, who's been kind enough to beta both of my stories! She's great! Check out my other story and let me know what you think – Two Worlds Collide._

_Thanks also to angelicwish for providing me with feedback – I heart you! As always, Hellooo and hugs to Lita and my bestie Jen who devours my chapters faster than I can churn them out!_

_Gang – you must know, I begged Edward and Bella to finally get it on, but they've got a lot of personal stuff to wade through before either one can even think of making a move. So in the interest of getting on with the show, I'm going to press my magic FF button and see where it takes us, okay? Here we go._

_Oh, and Edward told me he has more to tell us, so Bella's gonna take a backseat for a bit. Yes, I know it's strange that he's speaking to me. I am aware._

**Chapter Twelve: A walk and then…**

_**Edward's POV**_

"Deal," I said.

In an effort to clear my muddled thoughts – three (or four, I forgot) glasses of whiskey will do that to you – I suggested we take a walk, and thankfully Bella agreed. We walked all over the city – along Navy Pier and all of the shops and eateries there, along Lake Shore Drive, through Millennium Park and past Shedd Aquarium – and talked about everything. She told me more about college and how she and Esme worked so well together all these years. Bella touched on her friendships with Rose and Alice, and I realized that there was a great deal of truth to her statement about the four of them being like sisters. In turn, I told Bella stories of my childhood, of Carlisle's and my upbringing, and what brought me to the marketing world.

Hours later, the air had turned frigid and the wind was whipping, and Bella shivered repeatedly under her long, black wool coat. After suggesting we go back to our hotel, she agreed with another full-body tremor, and I hailed the nearest taxi. She laid her head back against the headrest, and I watched her as she rubbed her arms in an attempt to get warm. The gentleman in me wanted to offer that we huddle for warmth, but I shoved the idea aside. Bella would surely refuse _that_ offer.

"Bella, would you like my coat," I asked instead. "Your lips are blue." I started to unbutton my long, heavy trench but she shook her head.

"Thank you Edward, but no. I'll be fine once we get inside. Besides, it's freezing out there, and I won't have you catching pneumonia just because _I_ was cold."

A few minutes later, we arrived at the hotel. She paid the driver and the two of us ran into the lobby and into a waiting elevator. On the ride up, Bella continued to try to warm herself in silence. It took everything I had not to intervene and wrap my arms around her. _For warmth only, of course. Shit, man, get it together. This woman would sooner rip your head off than lay a finger on you._ My dick was playing a game of strategy with the part of me that hated my boss and didn't give a shit that she was a beautiful woman.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened, and she looked at me anxiously. _Right, the trial "period" was almost over._ Checking my watch, I saw that it was very late – close to one in the morning. Thankfully, tomorrow was Sunday, so I wasn't too concerned with the late hour. And technically, the jury was still out on what I'd do when I awoke, so I wasn't in too much of a hurry to end the evening. It seemed that Bella was thinking the same, because she asked if we could stay up and talk more.

"Edward, I don't want this to come across as being untoward, but would you like to come next door? We can…um, sleep in tomorrow," she said, suddenly appearing unsure of herself. She stared at her room key, and I couldn't help but smile. "God, I sound desperate, don't I?" she added with a half-smile.

I laughed because I agreed with her; she _did_ seem desperate. And I laughed because I was really enjoying this. _A bit sadistic, sure, but she'd put me through hell for the last two months; the least I owed myself was a bit of enjoyment at her expense, right?_

"If I'm honest, are you going to _fire me_?" I asked, partly teasing. The way I figured it, I had nothing to lose here. For once, where Bella was concerned, I had the upper hand. She shook her head but said nothing. "Okay, okay. Yes, it sounds desperate, but I don't mind. I kinda like you when you're desperate. It levels the playing field."

I'm going to blame that bit of excessive honesty on the Laphroaig. Have you ever wanted to hit the rewind button on some master remote control? This was definitely one of those moments, and I braced myself for impact. Would it be yelling, or the evil stare, or nasty words spewed at me the way that only _she_ could? Or maybe she'd place the call to Esme now, telling her I'd been fired.

"Okay. I deserved that," she said quietly, and it nearly knocked me over. "But while we're being honest, I'll say that I'm relieved to find that there's _something_ you like about me, even if it's my desperation." And then she blushed. _This whole carrying a grudge thing is definitely not going to last if she keeps doing that._ Needing to put some distance between us before we continued our discussion, I made a suggestion.

"Bella, why don't you get changed into something…warmer, and I'll meet you in your suite, say, in ten minutes? I, um…need to check my voicemail and then I'll be over," I said. "I'll even bring some snacks, if you'd like." She agreed and disappeared behind her door. Quickly I retreated behind mine, and let my forehead fall against it. After splashing some water on my face, I knew I needed to make a phone call.

"Hey Edward, man, what's up?" Jasper's southern drawl came through my cell phone and I sunk onto my bed. I heard some shuffling and the faint sound of a door closing.

"Hey. I'm in Chicago for a conference. I know it's late, man, sorry. This couldn't wait."

"Sure, no worries. Just went to bed, actually," he said, and I could practically hear the smile in his voice. "What's goin' on? Everythin' okay? I heard from Alice that you and Bella were goin' over there together."

"Okay, J, here's the thing: I've got a problem," I said, running my fingers through my hair. "Bella and I had it out tonight, and I gave my notice." Jasper started to reply but I kept going. "Wait – so after that she and I agreed to try talking things out tonight, and if we didn't come to a truce, that I'd call Esme in the morning and let her know of my decision."

"Shit man," was Jasper's reply. "That sucks. Alice was tellin' me a bit more about your boss lady. Sounds like she's got some baggage. Not that it excuses her for treatin' you like garbage."

"I know. But the thing is – and you know this has been part of the problem all along – there's just something about her, J," I said, completely vexed. "I've tried to distance myself, to not think about her, to remind myself how she's treated me. But shit, when she blushes, when she chews on her fucking pen, or when she's _not_ being a bitch…she drives me _crazy_ – crazy _good_. I just don't know what to do."

"You want my opinion?" Jasper asked rhetorically. He knew I valued his perspective. "Wait for her to come to you, Ed. You obviously have a thing for her, but she _is_ your boss. _She_ needs to make the first move, pal. And when she does, let her lead. Be that chivalrous sonofabitch I know's in there."

"You seem pretty confident that she's _going_ to make a move, J," I said suspiciously. _Did he know something? Had Alice told him something?_

"Oh, I _am_ confident," he answered, and then he laughed. "How can any woman resist your charm and wit?"

"Ha-ha, J, sure. So what do I do in the meantime?"

"Just be yourself, and try to remember that she's got a wall built up around her," he said, the teasing tone gone from his voice. "She's had a lot of practice in gettin' her heart broken, man, so it's gotta be someone special who will take that wall down, one brick at a time. Be patient, okay?"

"Thanks Jasper," I said, feeling as if a bit of the weight had been lifted. "I gotta get back to her room. We're going to talk some more. She's letting me sleep in tomorrow – you believe that shit?"

Jasper laughed again, wished me good luck, and we said goodbye. I called down to the front desk to have some snacks delivered to Bella's suite via room service, and assessed my appearance quickly before reaching for the door. It was then that I started to hear banging and shouting coming from the next room over. _Shit. What now?_ Fearing there might be a fire or some other emergency, I raced over and knocked on the door. I heard another bang, a low curse, and then Bella yelled for me to come in.

Bella was in her bedroom, wrapped in her comforter, crouched over the heating and air conditioning unit near her window. She was hitting it with a high-heel. I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing aloud. As I walked through the door, I realized that it was horribly cold in her suite; I could actually see my breath.

"All of the heating units are broken and the A/C is on full blast!" Bella yelled over the noise. After a quick inspection of her suite, I realized she was right. The master keypad for the heating and cooling read "ERROR" in digital letters and all four units were pumping refrigerated air into her rooms. "I tried to manually turn them all off, but it didn't work and now I've completely broken this one! It's fucking freezing in here!"

I'd never heard Isabella Swan swear before, and it was so much more endearing in the present situation. Apparently she had given up on the broken unit in her bedroom, and wandered out to the living area looking disheveled, pissed off and a bit frozen. Her useless stiletto was still in her hand.

"Let's move this to my room, then, okay," I said loudly. "We can call the front desk from a much warmer place. Come on over." It didn't take much convincing; Bella was out the door and at mine before I even managed to close her suite door. Once inside, she sat down on my bed, shivering inside her comforter. I called down to the front desk – to have the room service delivered to my room instead and to alert them to the problem next door – and told them Bella would need sleeping accommodations immediately.

"Well, it looks like it's going to be a few hours until they can get someone up here to repair the heating in your room," I said. "They're booked solid right now too, because of the conference and some festivals going on, but the manager assured me that he'd call if something became available. If not, he said he would compensate you for the inconvenience."

"That's alright," she said, sighing. "I'm not finished torturing you yet, anyhow, so we won't be sleeping for a little while." I wanted so badly to sit next to her on my bed, to kiss her, to smooth her hair and caress her creamy skin. So I kept my distance and sat down in a chair on the other side of the bed.

"You're not torturing me, Bella," I said. "Not right now, anyways. I like talking with you about your life. It's very interesting to me."

She looked down again, almost disappearing into her plush cocoon, but not enough to hide the blush that crept across her face. I was so focused on her skin that I almost missed her next comment.

"Thank you," she said in a whisper.

"For what?" I replied.

"For giving me a second chance," she answered. "I know that I haven't sold you yet on why you shouldn't quit, but I appreciate you giving me the opportunity to make amends."

"I hope that you would afford me the same opportunity if our roles were reversed, so sure," I said. A knock on the door signaled the arrival of room service, so I got up to retrieve it while Bella stayed where she was. When I returned with an armload of assorted snacks – popcorn, soda, veggies, cookies, crackers and cheese and candy – her eyes lit up and she smiled. "Since you're not done torturing me, I figured some sustenance was in order," I explained.

Once she had warmed up, Bella discarded the comforter, and we sat talking for two more hours. I stayed in the chair, and she on the bed. Bella pitched my job to me as if she needed to sell me on it all over again. Truly it would have been foolish for me to leave Swan & Platte after only two months, but the stubborn ass in me refused to cave so easily. Bella needed to change the way she treated me, and we'd both have to work on making that a reality if I were to stay.

With complete sincerity and self-effacing frankness, Bella explained that I wasn't in fact as replaceable as she had led me to believe. That the work I'd accomplished thus far was impressive and impeccable, she told me. And that if I left, she'd never forgive herself for being the driving force behind it.

"Edward, I've been thinking about why I was so hard on you," she began. "I think I see a lot of myself – the aspirations, determination, work ethic – in you, and it was too much like looking in a mirror. And seeing those traits in you every day just reminded me…of other things." Bella let her statement hang there, pregnant with implication, but I couldn't press her. She'd offer me more when she was ready. And she was already giving me so much.

"Thank you, for being honest with me," I said. "It means a lot."

It was close to three-thirty when we'd run out of things to say. Bella's eyes closed against her will, and I was exhausted from the day's events and the emotional highs and lows that had come with it. Having not heard from the manager, I called down to the front desk again, only to find that Bella was out of luck in getting a new room for the night. Quietly I informed the manager that she'd stay in my room, in the other bed. He apologized profusely and told me he'd speak with her at her convenience. I hung up and turned to tell Bella the bad news, only to discover her asleep on my bed.

Silently I moved closer to her, and watched her for a few moments. Her long brown hair was splayed across the bed, and she slept curled in a fetal position, hugging her knees. _Should I wake her?_ Deciding against it, I simply pulled her comforter back over her, and slowly untied her shoes before slipping them off her small feet. Then I brushed my teeth, stripped out of my jeans and sweater and climbed into the other bed, wearing my t-shirt and boxer briefs. I turned off the light and whispered into the dark room.

"Good night, Bella."

***************

Sometime before sunrise I was jolted out of a sound sleep by noises of a struggle. As I attempted to get my bearings, her voice called out in anguish.

"No! Please, don't leave me!" Bella started to whimper, and I could see in the darkness that she was thrashing around, seemingly still asleep. For a few moments I wavered; should I wake her or leave her alone? "I'll do anything. Please, just stay." And then she started to sob. In one swift movement I threw the covers back and jumped to her bedside. Hesitantly I touched her arm and gently shook her.

"Bella? Wake up," I pleaded. "You're having a nightmare. Wake up."

"No, please, no," she cried in between heaving sobs. "God, please, no."

When my first attempt failed, I sat gingerly next to her on the bed, and used both hands to wake her. With one hand I smoothed her hair and with the other I continued to try to jostle her from her bad dreams. Her hair was so soft – like silk. I wondered what could have her so terrorized, so distraught.

"Shhh…Bella, honey, please wake up," I said, oblivious of proper decorum when trying to wake your boss from a nightmare. "It's alright. I'm here. Please wake up." In that instant she awoke and threw herself at me, wrapping her arms around my waist in a vice-like grip. As she continued to sniffle and cry, I held her, rubbing her back.

"It's alright, Bella. It was just a dream, okay? Shhh…"

Gradually I felt her grip on me loosen, but just slightly, and then her breathing slowed and her crying ceased. Unsure of the boundary in this kind of situation, Jasper's advice echoed in my mind, and I opted to let her decide when she wanted space.

"I'm s-sorry, Edward," she said, hiccupping a bit. "H-how embarrassing. What an awful d-dream." I felt her face tilt up toward me as I stroked her hair, and I suppressed the now overwhelming urge I had to take away her pain with a kiss.

"Shhh…it's okay, Bella," I whispered. "We all have bad dreams sometimes." Despite my dismissal of her embarrassment, I made no move to separate us, and continued soothing her. After a few more minutes, she let go of me and sat up. My body immediately registered the loss of her warm touch, and I shivered.

"Edward, um, would you mind it if I…stayed with you for the rest of the night," she asked timidly. "I don't want to be alone."

If I said my heart didn't break into a full gallop at her words, I'd be lying. She was so raw and vulnerable. And I couldn't be angry with her – not right now.

"Of course," I said quietly, finding her hand in the dark. "Your room won't be ready anyways. You can stay here for as long as you'd like, okay?" Then I squeezed her hand, and turned to get off her bed. But she held on and pulled me back to her.

"No, I um, meant…can I get into bed _with you_? Please?"

As she uttered those words, I felt as if my body had detached from the world and was floating toward space. My mind clawed and reached upward, trying to pull me back together. Surely I had somehow died and this was my hallucinatory version of heaven. How else could I explain this woman's desire to lie next to me, to share my bed? It couldn't be possible. _What the fuck?_ Meanwhile, my dick was doing a happy dance.

Bella dropped my hand and I managed to walk the two steps to my own bed and get in. After taking a deep breath, I pulled back the covers on her side and whispered to her, "Come on over." In seconds, her warm body was pressed against mine, and she pulled my arm around her and shivered. Silently I prayed that I could keep my dick from misbehaving; this was not the time.

"I hope this is okay," she said into the darkness. Too tired – and too overwhelmed – to respond, I simply nodded into her hair. It smelled like strawberries. I fucking loved strawberries.

Bella tightened my arm around her, and I reveled in the warmth that radiated through her thin sweater. My sleepy brain tried to process what was happening, but failed miserably. _Bella Swan was in my bed. She wanted to be there, with me. She needed me._ I tried not to let this one event throw my heart into a tailspin, but it was certainly headed in that direction.

"We're just two people, making the most of it, right?" she added, as if she knew just how weird this really was. I managed to respond this time.

"Just two people – right," I said. She sighed and began tracing circles on my hand with her thumb. _This must be heaven._ As I molded myself to her, I decided I didn't care what happened in the morning. This – right now – was good enough for me.

_Okay, so we've made it to the bed gang! Progress, right? We're all about the slow burn here, in case you somehow didn't figure that out yet. _

_Besides, haven't you ever just needed to be held? Especially after a nightmare._

_Please leave reviews. I love them like…cuddling after a bad dream._


	13. Chapter 13: The mason

_Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just decided it was time to shake things up a bit in her characters' world. And I wanted a bitchy Bella, so here we go! _

_Oh, and all of the references used in this story in relation to the advertising and marketing company and accounts are only used here for entertainment purposes; no copyright infringement intended._

_Thank you to the following people: Flyaway Dove, my wonderful beta extraordinaire; angelicwish, who has gone above and beyond the call of duty to provide this insecure writer with feedback; Lita for making me beautiful banners and being awesome in general; and last but certainly not least, to Jen – she makes me smile all the time._

_Now some of you might have wondered why I decided to tell these last couple of chapters from Edward's perspective. It was deliberate. I needed a little space – out of Bella's screwed up head. She was making me angsty. So bear with me, one more chapter from Edward, and maybe we'll see what Bella makes of all this. _

**Chapter Thirteen: The mason**

_**EPOV**_

Waking up in an unfamiliar, hotel room bed with a hell of a headache and an aching back: not ideal. Waking up to realize that there's a beautiful woman lying next to you (and not just _any _beautiful woman): pretty much ideal in my world.

Bella was still sleeping soundly when I woke, and it afforded me yet another opportunity to study her without words, dirty looks or tempers interfering. At some point while I was sleeping, she had discarded her sweater; the white KOL t-shirt she wore was pulled snugly over her curves. She slept with one arm over her head, and her other hand was still clutching mine. I brought my face close to hers so that my nose was touching her cheek, took a deep breath and closed my eyes. _God, she smells so good._

Realizing that I quite possibly did _not_ smell as good, I released her hand and slid out of bed without waking her. Quietly I snuck into the bathroom and hurriedly splashed water on my face, brushed my teeth and ran my fingers through my hair. The bedhead would not be tamed, however.

Silently I crept back to bed, and seemed to have managed it successfully, until I placed my arm across her body and wrapped my fingers around hers. Bella stirred and I held my breath, uncertain of her reaction to me. Even though we weren't as close as before, I felt her heart rate increase and her breathing accelerate as she took in her surroundings. _Should I pretend I'm still sleeping? Say good morning? Jump out of bed and get as far away as possible, before she screams?_ None of these options helped me a damned bit, however, when she rolled over to face me.

"Hi," she offered groggily. My heart thudded in double-time when I realized she wasn't going to scream, at least. With my arm still draped over her – I was too scared to make any sudden movements – I replied with a croak.

"Hi."

"Did I talk more in my sleep after that first time," she asked. Exhaling in evident relief when I shook my head, she slid her hands under her pillow, and smiled. _She smiled!_ "That's good. Sorry about all of that. But I don't think I've ever slept so well…in my life. Usually when I have a nightmare, I can't fall back to sleep at all. But…"

Bella didn't finish her sentence, and once again, I didn't press her to finish it. Hopefully she would have told me that sleeping with _me_ was the best sleep she'd ever had. But I didn't ask. Then she grimaced and closed her eyes again.

"Ugh, too many martinis," she griped. "I don't care if it's Grey Goose. Too much vodka equals a hangover for me." Then she opened one eye to squint at me, and then both, as her brown eyes grew wide. _Oh shit._

"Oh my God, what time is it?" She bolted up in the bed and frantically searched for a clock. Seeing that it was eleven-fifteen, she gasped, threw back the covers and swung her _bare_ legs over the side. Apparently Bella had removed her jeans at some point as well. I tried to avert my eyes when she stood up, but couldn't avoid catching a glimpse of blue satin before the t-shirt fell over her ass. _Her very nice, tight, perfectly shaped ass._

"Bella, it's Sunday," I said, trying to look at anything but her. "Remember you said that we could sleep in?"

She groaned and flopped back onto the bed.

"Right – it's Sunday," she answered quietly, rubbing her temples. Bella scurried under the covers and turned to face me again. Her eyes were clear and anxious, and asked the question that I had avoided until this moment. But surprisingly she didn't inquire if I still wanted out.

"So I agreed to sleeping in, and that's what I plan to do," she said, almost obstinately. "We have all day, right? Work can wait, then." And then she grabbed my arm, wrapped it around her once more, and closed her eyes. Had this not been the strangest thing that had ever happened to me while in her presence, I would have laughed aloud. Here we were, two people, formerly self-proclaimed enemies, sharing a bed. And _she_ wanted more time in it, with _me_. _What the fuck?_ My male brain was about to explode.

"Bella?"

"Mmm-hhmm?" I could tell from her answer that she was close to sleep again, and decided that if I didn't ask now, I might never have the chance.

"What are you afraid of?"

"Everything," she said dreamily. "You…me…us…being hurt…love…spiders."

"Bella?"

"Mmm-hhmm?"

"I promise that you don't have to be afraid of any of those things," I offered. "Not even the spiders. You're safe."

Bella opened her eyes, and they were wet with tears. Her brow furrowed, she blinked a few times, and then she offered me a knowing smile that melted any remaining vestiges of ice in my heart. Tentatively, she removed one hand from under her pillow and reached up to rest it against my face. This time I didn't flinch when I felt the shock; neither did she.

"Edward. I…thank you," she said. "I just don't…I don't know if I can…"

I shushed her and moved my hand to smooth her hair back before resting my fingers under her chin.

"Bella, it's okay," I reassured her. "You don't have to explain anything else, or say anything else. You've given me so much in the last twelve hours; you have no idea."

There I was, laying myself bare before her. Essentially I had shown my hand, and now she could destroy me. She was an intelligent woman; my comments had been received clearly. This was crossing the line for certain, but I didn't care anymore. I was too invested. Truthfully, I had been from the day I met her. Hopefully now she understood that.

The realization that my feelings for Bella ran much deeper than I previously cared to admit exploded before my eyes, and I was blinded with the white light of my revelation. My ears rang, my mouth went dry and I gasped like I was being buried alive by the rubble. And then someone reached out and pulled me out of the destruction.

As if she were reading my mind, Bella closed the remaining distance between us, and captured my lips in a kiss that shattered my world.

It was tender and fierce, warm but hard, and it contained so much passion, hope, fear and anguish that I winced. Bella poured herself into me with that kiss, and in return I kissed her with everything I had. Pulling her face to mine, I felt her tears spill over and drip onto my thumbs as I held her there with me. She broke away with a choked sob, and pulled back, keeping her hand on my face.

"Edward, oh my God, I'm sorry," she gasped. "I shouldn't have…it's not right…this is wrong." She bit her lip as the tears continued to fall, quicker than I could wipe them away.

"Bella, easy now," I began. "Did it feel wrong?" She just looked at me, blinking back tears. Gently, I pulled her to me once more, our faces a mere inch apart. I dabbed at her eyes with the edge of my t-shirt before continuing. "In case you didn't notice, I kissed you back," I submitted. "Please don't regret it. I don't."

It's just…I don't know what this means," Bella said. "I'm not good at this Edward. You know I don't do this well." In response, and to comfort her, I kissed her nose and then her forehead.

"Please don't worry about that right now," I said. "Maybe you just haven't been given the chance to see how good you really _are_ at this. I'm willing to be your Guinea pig." She looked down at my chest and laughed, and the glorious sound filled the hotel room.

"You're willing to be a participant in my study," she asked playfully. "Long, tough hours, most likely lots of weekend and holiday work, little to no sleep and meager compensation for your time?"

"Absolutely," I answered with a grin. Bella laughed again and wrapped her arms around me, as if it were the most natural gesture in the world. And then I rolled us so that she was on top of me. Suddenly I remembered just how little we both wore from the waist down, and right on-cue, Bella blushed.

"Kiss me," she said.

I complied, gladly.

As we kissed, I let my hands wander from her waist up to her neck and shoulders, and I gathered her hair away from her face and draped it over her back. With my fingers, I memorized the curves of her back, waist and hips. And then I stopped and waited. Bella deepened the kiss, urging my mouth open with her tongue and tilting her head to get better access. She sighed as I returned the favor, and wove her hands through my hair.

Admittedly, I was restraining myself. I wanted to be a gentleman about this, but it was like pushing a ten-ton stone up a hill covered in ice – a losing fucking battle. My dick, apparently fed up with all of my restraint, acted like it was going to rip through my boxers. Then Bella moaned into my mouth as she pulled on my hair, and I nearly came right there.

"Are you trying to kill me Bella?" I said with a groan. I rolled us over again so that she was underneath me; with certainty she saw the fire in my eyes now, and felt me against her stomach, and she bit her lip so hard it turned white around her teeth. _Fuck, that's sexy._ As if to answer me, she lifted her hips to mine, and my aching erection came into contact with her pelvis. The new angle must have afforded her the full compliment of my dick, and her eyes grew wide; then she smiled at me devilishly and licked her lips.

"Ugh, you _are_ trying to killme," I said. "Not that I'm complaining."

Bella reached for me and pulled my top lip between hers, gently sucking until I captured her bottom lip with my own. Her lips were so soft – like little pillows. As we kissed, she removed her fingers from my hair and moved down my jaw, to my neck, and to my shoulders and arms. As her hands moved lower, so did her mouth, as she discovered my jaw line and earlobes, and then my neck. Bella licked and sucked her way down to the bit of chest that my t-shirt didn't cover. When her fingers reached the neckline of my shirt and tugged to expose more skin, I inhaled a ragged breath. And as soon as my brain registered a gentle suction at the base of my neck, I growled. _Yes, I fucking growled._

"Edward, I don't have the strength to stay away from you anymore," Bella said in between hot kisses to my neck and earlobe.

"Then don't," I managed simply. As I leaned down to kiss her again, I let more of my weight press her into the mattress, and I nestled one of my legs between hers. Bella's arousal was evident through her satin undies, and she could, undoubtedly, feel me, now painfully hard, against her thigh.

In my mind I saw the last bits of my resolve crumbling, the man slipping on the ice under the weight of the stone. My hand found its way to her thigh, and I held her leg even closer against me as my nose traced a path from her collar bone up her neck and to the soft skin below her earlobe. After kissing the spot that I decided was one of my favorites, I took her earlobe into my mouth, sucked on it, and then bit down.

"Oh God," Bella moaned in reply. Our hands explored each other's bodies, and our lips did the same, but Bella made no move to remove any clothing, so I didn't push her. If she wasn't comfortable with us being together right now, I told myself I could wait (much to my dick's dismay). After all, it had been a rough night and we'd conquered some major hurdles in coming clean about our egos, and then admitting our feelings for each other (without saying the words, of course). It was a lot to deal with so soon; I knew that. But neither one of us could deny what our bodies craved.

As I kissed Bella's neck, my hand sought skin, and I lifted the hem of her shirt a bit and slid my fingers underneath. Her stomach felt taught but still soft, and I grasped her waist as my lips found hers once more. _God, I want more of this. Much more._

"Edward, wait," she gasped, disengaging herself from the kiss. I didn't remove my hand, but loosened my grip. She slapped one hand over her eyes and bit her bottom lip so hard I thought she was going to draw blood. "Shit. I'm so sorry. It's just too much. Fuck."

The cursing did things to my dick that surprised me, but it didn't matter. With a sigh, I rolled off her, but pulled Bella with me so we were both lying on our sides, facing each other. I could see her lip trembling, so I carefully pried her fingers away from her eyes; they were red with tears that threatened to spill over. In an effort to put her at ease I shook my head.

"Bella, please don't worry, okay? I'm not going anywhere," I said; and there was the answer to her unspoken question. _I wasn't going anywhere. We were going to work through this – together. I could work on taking down that fucking wall for as long as it took – one piece at a time._ "The last twenty-four hours have been overwhelming. It's okay if you want to slow down."

"Edward, please understand – I _do_ want this – you," she began. "God, you have no idea how much. But it feels like such a huge shift from where we were earlier last night, and I don't know if I can downshift that fast. I don't know what happened to me; it's like I don't even know myself anymore. I've been in that angry place so damn long. It was so much easier to be there. You have this indescribable effect on me, Edward. I've never told anyone the things I told you last night. Not even the girls know some of that. It's all so alien to me – all of it." She grabbed my hand and held it against her chest.

"I think I understand, Bella," I replied, giving her hand a slight squeeze. "We had a lot to say to each other; two months' worth of fear, resentment, misunderstanding and rivalry, not to mention a healthy dose of sexual tension." As I added the last part, I playfully tugged on her ear. "And technically, you are my boss, and with that comes a decent amount of consideration for the future. I've considered all of that, too, you know. So many times, I'd wavered between wanting to kiss you and wanting to tell you off. It always seemed like you were trying to bait me, to force a reaction. It's a difficult transition to make."

Bella looked at me, suddenly downtrodden, at hearing my struggles with her attitude, and then she looked down at my fingers. I laughed, and with my free hand I tilted her chin so her eyes were level with mine.

"Hey, that doesn't mean I don't want to see where this goes," I explained. _God, this woman is a mess. If I meet any of those ex-boyfriends of hers I'd have a few things to say._ "I'm just saying that I get it – we need to proceed with caution." She rolled her eyes at that statement, and then rolled onto her back with a groan.

"There should be blinking traffic cones all around me - 'Caution: Danger Ahead'," she quipped. "Who in his right mind would want this mess?"

"Well, I don't know about being right-minded, but I know _I_ want this mess," I said, rolling on top of her again and planting a searing kiss on her lips. It seemed to distract her from her self-deprecation, and she twisted her fingers through my hair, pulling me to her. After a few moments of some of the hottest making out that I'd ever been privy to, Bella pulled away once more. "Right. Sorry," I said, smirking. "Still not ready?"

She laughed and swatted at me, but I rolled away and tumbled right out of the bed. We both had a good laugh at my expense, me from the floor and she from above, and it felt good.

_Was I in my right mind? Was I crazy for getting involved with a woman who drove me to extremes? _

Probably. But isn't life a bunch of foolhardy impulses? And I wasn't like those other fucking assholes who'd popped in and out of Bella's life. Truthfully, neither of us knew if a relationship was in the cards for us, but I was willing to try.

"You know, it would be so much easier if we just ignored this and decided to keep things the way they were," Bella said, interrupting my internal monologue. Before I could provide a rebuttal, however, she added, "But what would be the fun in that?"

_Okay, I know you're all banging your heads against the wall right now. Nope – no nookie. But cut these two (and me) a break! We dealt with some heavy stuff in this chapter, and the last. I swear to you all that when it finally happens, you will ALL be rewarded for your perseverance! _


	14. Chapter 14: Sex and sandwiches

_Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just decided it was time to shake things up a bit in her characters' world. And I wanted a bitchy Bella, so here we go! _

_Oh, and all of the references used in this story in relation to the advertising and marketing company and accounts are only used here for entertainment purposes; no copyright infringement intended._

_Thank you to the following people: Flyaway Dove, my wonderful beta extraordinaire; angelicwish, who has gone above and beyond the call of duty to provide this insecure writer with feedback; Lita for making me beautiful banners and being awesome in general; and last but certainly not least, to Jen – she makes me smile all the time._

_Folks, we're back! Bella is talking now, and we're going to pick up where we left off, since I personally don't want to get into her head for the last few chapters. We know she's a basket case; 'nuff said. Let's see what happens for the rest of their Sunday!_

**Chapter Fourteen: Sex and sandwiches**

After "sleeping in," we decided it was time to get to work; Edward jumped in the shower and I called down to the front desk to check on the status of my room. The manager was very contrite and offered to fully reimburse Swan & Platte for the entire week's stay, which was quite generous. I told him it wasn't necessary, and that a discount for the one night would suffice, but he was insistent. He informed me that the heating and cooling technician would be working in my room for the next hour, and that after that time, the repairs would be finished.

"Would it be possible for me to sneak in there to grab a change of clothes and my toiletries," I asked him. "I also have some work materials in there that I need to get as soon as possible." The manager replied that it would be alright and I thanked him. Once I was dressed in last night's clothes, I snuck next door and grabbed what I needed and closed the door behind me. Edward was just getting out of the shower when I returned, and once again it took all of my resolve not to tackle him. _It should be illegal to look that sexy – especially without even trying._ But I wasn't ready for this, and so I needed to keep my hormones under control.

He stood just outside the bathroom door, steam framing his lean, muscular body, his jeans hanging on his hips tantalizingly. As he toweled off his hair, Edward watched me as I set down my things and our presentation materials. I tried not to look at him, but it was virtually impossible to keep my eyes away from his chest, shoulders, abs and that damned V that disappeared below the top of his jeans, teasing me.

"Now _you're_ trying to kill _me_, aren't you," I lamented. He grinned and arranged his features in feigned innocence.

"Whatever do you mean, Bella," he asked. "I'm just standing here. You, on the other hand, are _definitely_ dangerous for me." He devoured me with his emerald green eyes, and I felt the blush as it exploded on my skin.

"Okay, okay, truce!" I begged. "We really need to get some things done today, before the start of the conference tomorrow. I still want to go through your presentation with you, and we need to review the schedule. Regardless of how much I'd rather make out." I walked over to Edward, reached up on my toes, and kissed him lightly. And then I trotted past him and into the bathroom, leaving him standing there with the towel clutched in his fisted hand.

_What has he done to me? Have I transitioned from frigid bitch to smokin' vixen?_ I sincerely doubted the smokin' part, but my sex drive was revving like never before. For probably the thirtieth time since I'd met Edward Cullen, I had to remind myself to focus on something other than him. After a much-needed shower, I felt renewed and refocused, ready to get down to business. _The business of flirting with Edward. No! Work only Bella! _ This, I could tell, was going to be a long week.

Still feeling a bit raw from the last twenty-four hours, I dressed quickly in the bathroom and pulled my wet hair into a messy bun, unwilling to tempt myself – or Edward – with any unnecessarily exposed skin. Turtleneck and jeans – check. Game face – check. I emerged to find him lying on the bed (thankfully fully dressed), his legs crossed at the ankles and one hand behind his head, studying some of the materials for our display. _Still not helping, Edward._

"So…would you mind letting me see your presentation, and I'll time you," I asked, trying to inject as much seriousness as I could muster into my request. "Looking at the schedule here, they're giving you thirty minutes, and I know you have a lot of slides."

"Alright, I'll get the projector and laptop set up," he offered. "And we'll go through my presentation. But then we have to get some lunch. I'm ravenous." He offered me his sexy crooked smile and I would've bet my next big account that he was hungry for more than just lunch. The realization made me shiver.

"That's fine," I said, trying to ignore his gaze. "And my room should be ready shortly as well, so that's good news." _Brilliant. He probably took that the wrong way. Focusfocusfocus!_ He nodded but said nothing else, and moved to set up the equipment. Feeling completely out of my element once again, I decided to help him. Bad idea.

Being in such close proximity to Edward – near enough so that I could smell him, feel his warm breath, study his long eyelashes as he connected the multiple cords – drove me crazy with desire and produced sensations in my body that I couldn't disregard. Like an addict confronted with the source of her compulsion, I craved more, and stepped minutely closer as I watched his long fingers work.

"Okay, we're just about ready. Let me just find my file on the hard drive and…"

Edward looked up at me, putting his face less than an inch from mine, and stopped. Nervously I licked my lips, and I watched as his gaze flickered briefly to my mouth and then back to my eyes. His eyes darkened as his pupils dilated, and I studied his throat as he swallowed hard. Neither one of us spoke, but the air felt heavy with unmet want. I felt alive; every part of my body was alert and tensed for my brain's fight or flight response. Time slowed and my ears shut out every sound save for my thudding heart and staccato breathing.

_Yep._ I felt pretty certain at that moment that if Edward kissed me, I wouldn't stop him this time from going farther. _I want him so badly, but I can't act on those impulses…can I? How would this ever work? He's my employee; I'm his boss. This has disaster written all over it. Could I even put all my baggage, all the shit, aside and be happy? Could I let myself? Maybe… _

But all of my considerations were for naught, as he cleared his throat and looked down again at the computer screen.

"All set," he said, his voice catching. Apparently he intended to make good on his word not to pressure me – or do anything else to me, for that matter. _Gotta give him credit for staying true to his word. Maybe he's reconsidering getting involved. Not that I can blame him._ "Uh, want to turn off the lights?" Edward asked me this, his brows furrowed, as if he didn't think being in the dark was such a good idea. So I walked over to the door and turned off the lights.

It probably wasn't very nice to tease the poor guy, after all I'd put him through, but when do I ever play fair? Suddenly I wished I hadn't chosen a turtleneck.

Edward stood awkwardly, staring at the image projected onto the wall. Instead of sitting in the chair or pacing like I would normally, I positioned myself across his bed, lying on my stomach. When he saw this he swallowed deliberately again, and I bit my bottom lip to keep from smiling. Honestly, it was adorable and such a turn-on to see the effect I had on him.

Using my wristwatch to time his presentation, I crossed my bent legs at the ankle and chewed on my pen as I watched him. Occasionally I'd bounce my legs and he'd pause for a moment. A few times, when I licked my lips or sucked on the tip of my pen, his voice cracked as he spoke. When he was finished, he let out a ragged breath and ran his hands through his hair.

"That took thirty-two minutes, Edward," I said. "You're going to have to speak a bit faster…or eliminate some of those long pauses." Abruptly he nodded, and rushed to turn the lights on. It appeared that giving his presentation had taken a lot out of him.

"Can we get some lunch now," he asked. _More like pleaded._

"Sure, but I'll go get it," I countered, crawling to the edge of the bed and standing. "I need to check on my room and stop and get a few things at the convenience store down the street. What do you feel like for lunch?"

"Um…whatever. Sandwich is fine…or whatever you want," he managed. He ran his hand through his dark hair once more, and this time I noticed his fingers formed a fist around his hair, like he was going to yank it.

"Okay, then I'll be back shortly," I said, grabbing my purse and room key. "Maybe while I'm gone you can practice a bit more." And before he could utter a response, I slipped out the door.

Even though it was past three o'clock, I knew that it wouldn't be difficult to find some sandwiches. The brisk fall air felt good on my overheated skin, so I walked to find us lunch instead of taking a taxi. It also gave me the opportunity to place a much-needed phone call.

"Hey Alice! Did I catch you at a bad time?" I asked when she answered the phone a little short of breath. Hopefully I hadn't interrupted her and Jasper; otherwise, I was surely going to have to hear about it later.

"Oh, no, B! I was just cleaning the apartment before Jasper comes over," she answered. "Rose is spending the night at Emmett's. Did you know you can burn about one hundred calories per hour just vacuuming and stuff? I'm trying to up the intensity with some dance moves thrown in."

I couldn't help but laugh as I imagined Alice vacuuming and dancing around her and Rose's apartment. Ah, my friend the whirling dervish.

"So what's up Bella? How's Chicago? More importantly, how's Edward?"

"Well, that's kind of why I called you," I began. Alice practically screamed into the phone.

"Finally! I knew it; I knew it! Tell me what happened!"

After I calmed her down, I filled Alice in on what had transpired between us (and what had _not_, specifically), and by the time I was finished, I had discovered a small deli a few blocks from the hotel. As I paced outside, Alice gave me another dose of her special advice.

"Bella, honey, just go for it," she ordered cheerfully. "Edward's a great guy; you're a great girl – easy as that. It's time you let someone in, and he's not just _someone_. I just have this great feeling about him, B – this one's special."

"Thanks Alice," I said, truly thankful. "I just feel…different when I'm with him. For all the fighting we've done over the last two months, it seems like it was building up to…something greater."

"Absolutely," she said. "And he's fucking hot!"

Laughing, I agreed, and thanked Alice again before ending the call. Then I stepped inside the deli to get us lunch. With our lunches bagged up, I headed back toward the hotel, and made a stop on the way. Then I practically skipped into the hotel lobby and over to the front desk. To my relief, the heating system in my room had been repaired.

I made a stop in my room on the way, and decided a wardrobe change was in order. Hurriedly I pawed through my suitcase, searching for a fresh pair of jeans and a nicer top. _I don't even know what color Edward likes, or what he'd consider sexy on me._ Finally, I settled on the red silk Robert Rodriguez top, and no shoes. My heels would have been much too obvious; as it was he'd surely notice I'd changed my clothes. I ran a brush through my hair and pulled it back up, and smeared some Chapstick on my lips. Giving my reflection the once-over, I slipped my store purchase into my purse and closed the door behind me.

The door swung open before my fist connected with the door for a second knock, and Edward stood there looking a bit crazed, his hair even more disheveled – if that was possible. _Maybe he was really hungry._ Hoping to tame the beast, I held up the bag of sandwiches. Suddenly his arm was hooked around my waist, and he pulled me inside so fast that had he not been holding me tightly, I would've tripped on the carpet.

My body was pressed against his, the bag of sandwiches dangling uselessly from my fingers. Edward's gaze was so intense that I pulled back an inch so I could look at him. His eyes were wild and brilliant, his nostrils were flared, and I felt his fingers digging into my lower back.

"I'm s-sorry; I came back as quickly as I could," I stuttered, taken aback by this sudden change in his demeanor. "Here, I…"

"Your shirt, Bella," he growled. "And those pants. What are you trying to do?"

Blushing instantly and thinking that I'd overestimated my "effect" on Edward after all, I started to back away. _Maybe this was a bad idea._ I opened my mouth to explain myself.

"Edward, I'm sorry. It was stupid. I, uh…"

And then my eyes moved from his chest up to his face, and his expression punched a gaping hole through my impenetrable wall. His mouth hung open, and the once-hungry look in his eyes was replaced by one of utter confusion and then hurt. I felt his grip on me slacken just slightly, and it was instantly too much.

I needed Edward; maybe he needed me too. And my decision was made.

Taking his face in my hands, I closed my eyes and kissed him, hoping to convey my feelings in that one gesture. It was hot and insistent, and his lips returned the favor. The bag of sandwiches dropped to the floor as he pushed me against the wall. I was barely touching the floor, so I wrapped my legs around Edward's waist, desperate for more contact and friction. He groaned when I grabbed a fistful of his hair and pulled his head back. He ground his erection against my heated wet core when I licked and kissed and nibbled a path from his collarbone up to his earlobe.

"Fuck, Bella. I want you so badly. If you tell me to stop, I will. But please don't. _Please_."

At the sound of that word on his lips, _please_,my entire body responded. Nodding in agreement, I pushed us away from the wall and with one hand I began searching for the hem of my shirt. Edward caught on quickly, and without putting me down or ceasing his kisses, he moved us toward the bed.

"Edward, the sandwiches," I began, concerned he might step on them.

"Fuck the sandwiches, Bella. I'll buy you the whole goddamned deli later."

His legs hit the edge of the bed, and Edward quickly – but with care – eased me onto my back. He took over my attempts to undress myself, and in between kisses he managed to pull the red blouse over my head, as well as his own t-shirt over his. For a moment I marveled at the beauty of his hard chest and stomach; I watched with fascination as his shoulder and arm muscles flexed with the effort of lowering himself over me.

"Bella, I have to ask…are you sure," he whispered.

"Never been more sure," was all I could say. I reached for his face and held it between my hands. This man _was_ special, and I wanted him – all of him. Raising myself off the bed, I captured his bottom lip between mine, and let my hands explore his naked torso. Edward held me to him, and with two fingers freed the clasp of my bra. He eased it off me with such reverence. First he slid the straps down; then he helped my arms through, saving the material that covered my breasts for last. And once they were free of the black satin, Edward inhaled sharply before taking one breast into his hot, wet mouth.

"Perfect," he said.

"Oh God, Edward," I moaned, as he used his hand to massage the other breast, paying special attention to my very sensitive nipples. "Please don't stop." It was his turn to moan, in response to my request. After lavishing the same attention to each breast, his mouth traveled to the space between them, down my stomach and to my belly button and the edge of my jeans. With a skilled yank and tug, my jeans were off, and Edward glanced up at me with lust-filled eyes after he took in the sight of the black lace covering me. His long fingers skimmed my hips and then the fabric, and with another long glance to make sure I was okay with this, he slowly pulled the thong down and off my legs. Edward kissed his way back up to my face, allowing me to free him from his jeans. _No underwear. OhmyGod. Thank you._

As his fingers grazed my skin, I shuddered, the ache growing in the pit of my stomach. He settled himself between my legs, and when his erection brushed my hypersensitive core, I gasped. Taking that as his cue, Edward slowly moved his fingers down, and slid them easily inside me. The air rushed out of my lungs, and I dug my fingers into his shoulders.

"Bella, you are so fucking wet," he whispered huskily. Feeling a bit self-conscious, I kissed him again to shut him up. We rocked together as he brought me to the edge with just his fingers, but then he withdrew them. Just as I considered asking him if everything was alright, he brought his fingers to his lips and while holding my gaze, put them in his mouth. That sight alone nearly made me climax.

"You taste so good," he murmured. "Isabella, I need to feel you. I need to be inside you."

All I could manage was a frantic nod, but then I pressed my hands against his chest to stop him. He was already searching the floor around the bed for something.

"On the floor," I said, as Edward looked around. "In my purse."

Thankfully Edward's reach allowed him to loop a finger around the strap, without having to move off the bed. He handed me my bag and clumsily I searched for my prize. I found the box, and blushing profusely, I pulled it out for him to see.

"Ah, my girl was prepared," he said with a chuckle, taking the box of condoms. He tore through it and procured a foil package, swiftly ripping the corner with his teeth. After sliding the prophylactic down his length, he smiled at me – that crooked, sexy smile – and with a kiss, slid inside me.

We came together, groaning in unison; he filled me completely, and my body had to adjust. Edward began rocking slowly for me, and once he felt me stretch for him, he deepened his thrusts and quickened his pace. As he plunged in and out of me I continued to kiss every inch of skin I could access and wrapped my legs around him so he'd reach even deeper. Every moment our bodies came together, it knocked the wind out of me. Each time he withdrew I splintered into a million pieces; and each time he filled me, I was made whole again. It was a delicious sensation.

Whenever my brained tried to process what was happening, Edward seemed to feel me drifting away, and he kept me centered and focused on only him. With a kiss, or a caress or a look, he kept me connected to him in every way. It was slow, deliberate and intense. For the first time in my life, I felt like someone was making love to me. And it scared the shit out of me.

"Edward, I never…I couldn't imagine this…" I whimpered as I tried to convey my feelings. How could sex be like this the first time with someone? How could it be this good, this passionate? This just didn't happen in real life. But he quieted me and kissed my cheeks, my forehead, my eyelids and chin.

"Bella, just let go. Don't think; just be here," he said. So I tried that.

Mentally, I imagined my body relaxing. It must have worked – Edward pinned both of my hands over my head before I even realized what was happening. With one hand he held both of mine, and with the other he lifted my butt off the bed. Closing my eyes, I tuned out my thoughts and simply listened to his heavy breathing and my sighs. I forgot about the conference and what it would mean tomorrow – after – and _felt_ Edward as he drove himself in and out of me with unrestrained fervor.

The ache was building quickly, and I knew I was close. Again, as if he knew this, Edward used his mouth to ensure my demise, sucking on my breasts, flicking my nipples with the tip of his tongue and licking my neck. As I climaxed he continued to move us together and kiss me until he followed. We lay there, together, for some time, kissing, until our pulses slowed and my legs began to fall asleep. Gently, Edward brought my arms back down and kissed each hand. He withdrew and disposed of the condom, and then rolled back to me.

For a few minutes we just stared at each other, without speaking, while my fingers roamed his chest and his hand smoothed my hair. I was afraid that if I spoke, I'd say something stupid and ruin the moment. I just wanted to enjoy my post-coital bliss in silence; thankfully so did Edward.

After kissing me a few more times, Edward was the one to break the stillness.

"Hmmm…that was..."

"…amazing?" I offered, hoping that was the word he was searching for.

"Definitely. Please tell me we can do that again."

"Mmmmm," I answered, tugging on his earlobe with my teeth. He groaned in response, and I felt him twitch. _Damn._ "But I'll need a little rest. _You_," I added, playfully poking his chest with my finger, "…are quite a handful." He laughed and blushed, and kissed me in silent thanks for the compliment.

Sitting up to look at the clock, I realized it was almost dinner time, and the sun had long-since set. On cue, my stomach growled, and I grimaced as Edward laughed. He sprang out of bed – quite a sight to behold – and located our forgotten sandwiches. Holding them up, he looked at me with a grin.

"Wanna have a naked picnic," he asked. How could I refuse? We sat in bed and ate our deli sandwiches and pickles, feeling generally fucking spectacular. I couldn't help but grin like I'd won the lottery; it felt like I _had_.

"What are you smiling about, Ms. Swan," Edward asked with a mouthful of turkey sandwich. This time the formal title didn't sound harsh at all.

"Oh, let's see," I mused. "I just had amazing, mind-blowing sex with you, with _you_, and we're naked and eating sandwiches in bed. What's _not_ to smile about?"

Edward leaned over and kissed me, and I could have sworn I got a bit of his pickle in my mouth. No matter. The world outside could have ceased to exist, and I was perfectly content in that hotel room. _Tomorrow is tomorrow. _We finished our sandwiches and Edward slid off the bed to discard the wrappers. I watched him as he walked away, and as he returned I licked my lips in appreciation and renewed desire. _Did I deserve this man? What the fuck was I thinking? Was I out of my damned mind?_

"Hey, what are you doing," Edward asked me, getting very close to my face. "I know that look. Stop internalizing. We'll figure things out as we go, okay?"

Pushing my thoughts away for the time being, I nodded, and Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me off the bed. As we stood with our arms wrapped around each other, Edward kissed me – slow and tender at first, and then hard and insistent. A wave of lust rippled through me and crashed into the pit of my stomach. When I felt Edward's body respond to the kiss, I took a small step back to admire him, my brows raised in surprise.

"Mr. Cullen, you recover quickly," I taunted; then I had an idea. Leading him toward the bathroom, I decided that this was going to be a good thing – wherever this weekend led us. "Since you are feeling…well…again, I was wondering if you'd wash my back."

_Author's Note: So, does this "do it" for you? We finally got there, and it was damn good, if I do say so myself. So let's relax and smoke one…if that's your thing._

_Please leave reviews – you know I love them like a good, long-overdue romp in the sack!_


	15. Chapter 15: Case of the Mondays

_Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just decided it was time to shake things up a bit in her characters' world. And I wanted a bitchy Bella, so here we go! _

_Oh, and all of the references used in this story in relation to the advertising and marketing company and accounts are only used here for entertainment purposes; no copyright infringement intended._

_Thank you to the following people: Flyaway Dove, my wonderful beta extraordinaire; angelicwish, who has gone above and beyond the call of duty to provide this insecure writer with feedback; Lita for making me beautiful banners and being awesome in general; Vicky my new LA pal; and last but certainly not least, to Jen – she makes me smile all the time._

_So, what did you all think of the sex and sandwiches? Was it worth the wait? Please let me know if you haven't already! This week is going to be a test for both of them, for obvious reasons. Hmm…do you think it's difficult to focus on business when you've just had the best sex of your life with someone you work with? _

**Chapter Fifteen: Case of the Mondays**

"I don't want to work tomorrow," I whispered from my position against Edward's chest. Tomorrow was Monday – a work day and the first day of the week-long convention. And tomorrow I'd have to put on my boss-lady front and somehow try to deal with the consequences of being _involved_ with my employee. Not fun.

"Try not to think about it for a few more hours, okay?" Edward pleaded, as he gently soaped my shoulders with the loofah. "Tomorrow will be great, and we'll have the evenings to ourselves this week, for the most part." I appreciated Edward's efforts to bolster my spirits, as well as the way he worded that last part. He was letting me make the decisions as to where we were going – at least for now – and I was grateful.

"Thank you," I said simply, running my fingers over his submerged legs and up to his thighs. Suddenly his mouth was at my ear, and his breath tickled my skin.

"Be careful," he warned playfully. "Don't start a fire you can't put out." As if in a challenge, I squeezed his upper thighs and wiggled my butt against his groin and now-obvious erection. Edward groaned and wrapped his arms around me, running his tongue along the edge of my ear before taking the fleshy lobe between his teeth.

"I can take care of myself; don't you worry about me," I taunted, trying to ignore the effect his teeth had on other parts of my body as he nibbled my ear. "Besides, we have plenty of water in this tub. I think we'll be just fine." The bathroom in Edward's hotel room wasn't as nice as mine, but the Jacuzzi tub fit the two of us comfortably.

Reaching behind my head, I cupped my hand around the back of Edward's neck and pulled him toward me. As I kissed him deeply, I turned slowly so that I was straddling his lap, sending little ripples of soapy water splashing against Edward's torso and close to the rim of the tub. His tongue massaged mine and I moaned; his lips on mine, his tongue languidly exploring my mouth, his long fingers splayed across my lower back – this was the closest thing I'd probably get to Heaven, and that was just fine with me.

_Sex contains all,  
Bodies, Souls, meanings, proofs, purities, delicacies, results, promulgations,  
Songs, commands, health, pride, the maternal mystery, the seminal milk;  
All hopes, benefactions, bestowals,  
All the passions, loves, beauties, delights of the earth,  
All the governments, judges, gods, follow'd persons of the earth,  
These are contain'd in sex, as parts of itself, and justifications of itself._

"Your skin…it feels amazing," Edward whispered in between kisses. "It's better than I ever imagined…" It took a moment for me to realize what he'd said, but then I disengaged from his lips and leaned back to look at him.

"Better than you _imagined_?" I asked, half-teasing. "How much time, exactly, have you devoted to the consideration of my skin?" He paused for a moment, pulling me flush against his chest again, and toyed with a lock of my hair before answering.

"More time than I care to admit, I think," he said frankly. He leaned back slightly so he could look me in the eye. His gaze was clear and intense, and instinctively I wanted to shrink away from it. It held too much. _I must be imagining things._ "I've spent…a few nights imagining how it would feel to touch you. Smooth your hair; caress your skin; feel your hands on me; your lips on mine; those warm brown eyes focused only on me."

Edward's sincerity was unnerving; what I'd meant as a lighthearted tease had quickly transitioned into a confession. I wanted to take it back. When it applied to work, I was more than happy to have the reigns; here, the more he told me the more uncomfortable I became. Now _I_ was the one trying to backpedal.

Truthfully, I was uncomfortable with the idea of a relationship with Edward. Hell, with any man. Relationships, I had learned, were messy, full of yelling, angry words, crying and blame; feelings of love and infatuation quickly gave way to resentment, fear, loathing and disappointment. Someone always left someone, and each time, a chunk of you would break away with them, as if the two parts had been fused. At some point, there'd be nothing left of you. And I just didn't have any more pieces to give. Not even to Edward.

"And are you satisfied, then, that now you can dedicate your time to other pursuits?" I asked with a smirk, hoping he'd take the hint. With one long finger he traced a line along my jaw and across my lips. This sent a flurry of tingles to the rest of my body. _Damn his talented fingers._

"Yes…other pursuits," he mused, kissing me briefly. And then his green eyes flashed, and a crooked smile tugged up one corner of his mouth, and I knew I'd been successful in derailing his train of thought. I decided to help him along, nevertheless, just to be sure.

"Um…like what else you'd like to do with my body?" As I offered this to him, I ground myself against him forcefully, sending a small splash of water over the edge of the tub. In response, Edward groaned and wrapped his fingers around the back of my neck, pulling me to him in a fevered kiss. I ran my fingers through his damp hair, yanking it. He hissed into my mouth, and then took hold of my thighs and, without breaking our kiss, lifted us both out of the water. Confused but wholeheartedly willing to play along, I sighed and wrapped my legs around his waist, the slippery and pleasing wetness of his hard cock poised at my entrance. I felt his muscles flex as he carefully stepped out of the tub, still holding me to him. Without pausing for a towel, he started to walk out of the bathroom but inspiration struck me and I pulled away from his mouth.

"No, Edward. Here," I said, looking behind me at the large sink and counter. His eyes were at first wide with surprise, but quickly they darkened with understanding and lust, and he took one long step to rest my butt on the countertop.

"Um, Bella…I don't have a condom with me," he whispered before gently sucking on my ear.

"It's okay; I grabbed a few before we came in here," I said with what I hoped was a sexy smile, and gestured to the pile of towels on the floor. Edward didn't even pause to comment again on my premeditation; keeping one hand on my ankle, he turned and grabbed one. After rolling the latex over his erection, he stepped back to the counter, and I wrapped my legs around him once more.

I was still a bit soapy from our bath, so I slid a bit on the counter, and Edward wrapped his arm around my torso to keep me close. As he pulled me against him – inadvertently but sublimely – the tip of his shaft slid inside me and my body willingly took the rest of him in as we came together. There was no need for foreplay, as my body was, for a second time, wet and aching for him, and he immediately began thrusting against me, while his lips alternated between my mouth and my neck.

"Fuck, Bella, you feel so good," he uttered in a strained whisper. The swearing only made me wetter, and Edward groaned when he felt the change in my body. With my legs still wrapped around his waist, I leaned back and gripped the edge of the vanity for more traction, resting my elbows on the counter, and this afforded Edward a better view: both of himself moving in and out of me and of us in the mirror.

"How does it look?" I asked, after he caught me watching him watch us. Edward untangled my legs from his waist and rested my feet on the edge of the counter, which allowed him to hit my sensitive bundle of nerves at a new – and spec-fucking-tacular – angle. With his hands gripping my waist, he anchored me to him.

"Ugh…fucking hot and wet," he groaned, and leaned over to capture my nipple in his mouth. I arched my back and grabbed a handful of his copper hair – _God, I love his hair_ – and guided him to my other nipple. "I could do _this_ all day with you."

_I might just let you._

Releasing his hair, I let my head fall back as Edward continued to drive me toward my orgasm. Then he grabbed my left leg and positioned it against his shoulder, and at the same time I felt his thumb press against my sensitive nub. The combination of the two, together with his free hand massaging my ass, and his tongue periodically licking my juices from his thumb, was all too much for me, and I came with a sound that bordered on a howl.

As I gasped and panted in my release, Edward continued to pump with force, and when I reached for his nipples and pinched them, he sucked in a sharp breath, stiffened and his eyes rolled back in his head as he came. With a loud rumble, he exhaled and bowed his head, breathless over me.

_I draw you close to me, you women!  
I cannot let you go, I would do you good,  
I am for you, and you are for me, not only for our own sake, but for others' sakes;  
Envelop'd in you sleep greater heroes and bards,  
They refuse to awake at the touch of any man but me._

"Edward, I…" I began, but didn't finish, as his mouth found mine and silenced me. My legs were starting to fall asleep, and I considered mentioning it, when he pulled me off the bathroom counter, his strong arms wrapped around me. His hands moved to my waist, and with his thumbs hooked round the soft flesh there, his fingers still reached my ass. _His hands should be bronzed. But then I couldn't have them all over me; scratch that idea._ My brain was mush and I could barely stand up. Thankfully, he was holding me upright.

"Well, now that you've been thoroughly fucked, is it time for dinner?" Edward teased. _Love that potty mouth._ I smiled up at him sleepily and nodded my head. I had forgotten how hungry I was. _Can't imagine how that happened._ After throwing away the used condom, Edward quickly splashed water on his face and left me in the bathroom to freshen up. My legs collapsed as my butt hit the toilet seat, so I used the time to ponder the last two days.

Then it hit me like a freight train.

_God, I really am fucked, in more ways than one. We can't do this anymore. I need to focus this week – we both do – and sex is only going to serve as a distraction._ Besides, if I put a ban on sex from this point on, it would provide me the physical space I'd need to detach myself in every other way from Edward. I shuddered to think of the consequences of _not_ keeping my distance.

Because I knew damn well what could happen; what I could easily see happening between us if this continued. Edward would demolish what was left of the wall I'd worked so hard to build, and we'd have more mind-blowing sex, more naked picnics and continue to torture each other in the most delicious ways. He knew so much about me now; too much. And there would be so much more than just sex.

I'd fall completely and irrevocably in love with Edward Cullen.

And I couldn't let that happen.

Gathering myself up, I flushed the toilet and smoothed my hair in the mirror. _No more sex with Edward. No more sharing intimate things and acting like a smitten teenager._ I grabbed a towel off the floor and wrapped it around me. And I quietly locked away the piece of me that longed to be loved and cared for and protected from the world. That part of me was weak, needy and smaller than the whole. It needed to be silenced. Reaching for the doorknob, I took a deep breath and issued a silent prayer.

_I know I don't believe in this crap, but please keep Edward safe – especially from me. Keep his heart safe, too. He's good and deserves so much better. Please give me the strength to get through this._

Then I opened the door and went back to Edward.

Author's Note: _Alright, I know, I know – I'm killing you with the roller coaster, aren't I? Sorry, but I hope you all understand it can't be peaches and cream, easy all the time. Or ever. Poor Edward. But don't count him out, everyone. _

_Note: the passages in this chapter are from the poem __A Woman Waits for Me, by Walt Whitman. (no copyright infringement intended here)_

_Leave reviews – I love them like steamy bathroom sex!_


	16. Chapter 16: A change in trajectory

_Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just decided it was time to shake things up a bit in her characters' world. And I wanted a bitchy Bella, so here we go! _

_Oh, and all of the references used in this story in relation to the advertising and marketing company and accounts are only used here for entertainment purposes; no copyright infringement intended._

_Thank you to the following people: Flyaway Dove, my wonderful beta extraordinaire; angelicwish, who has gone above and beyond the call of duty to provide this insecure writer with feedback; Lita for making me beautiful banners and being awesome in general; Vicky my new LA pal; and last but certainly not least, to Jen – she makes me smile all the time._

_I know you all might be reeling from the last chapter and the speed with which things shifted; my apologies. In an effort to keep this realistic (in the context of this story), however, I felt that mindless sex and puppy love wasn't remaining true to the characters. They are more complex than that, and deserve (hopefully) better. And Bella is trying to keep things in her world as they are. So bear with her (and me)._

**Chapter Sixteen: A change in trajectory**

Edward and I decided to walk downtown for dinner; I didn't say much on the way there, but he didn't seem to notice. At least, he didn't let on if he _did._ Shamefully, my mind was occupied with the details of how I was going to accomplish this latest act of sabotage – separating myself from Edward. This weekend and whatever followed in the next five days would have to be a fling; I would need to slowly extricate myself from the promises of what _might_ have been between us. And I'd have to do it slowly and deliberately, and hopefully not hurt Edward too much in the process.

It was an impossible situation: I wanted Edward in my life, so badly, but I couldn't _fire_ him for the sake of a romantic relationship. For one, it was unprofessionalism and selfishness in its basest form. From a business standpoint, it would be disastrous to have him working for the competition. But as long as he worked for me at Swan & Platte, there was no future for us outside the office and our working association. Coworkers could do it as they pleased, apparently, but I wasn't foolish enough to think that our particular brand of romance would be favored.

And then there was the sticky issue of my relationship trepidation. I knew at some point it would come back to haunt me; I had just tried not to focus on it, though. Being a bitch had previously acted as romance repellant, so it was easy to ignore until now. I couldn't avoid the feelings of dread and claustrophobia that bubbled inside me when Edward looked at me the way he often did. It made my skin crawl, and my heart clench. I knew from experience that these symptoms were those of panic attacks, but the awareness did nothing to help me squelch the dread. I was, quite simply, a mess. A relationship would be a disaster of epic proportions right now. And I couldn't do that to either one of us. Regardless of what my friends said.

_I know he's special, Alice – which is why I need to do this. There is no other way._ Hopefully she and Esme would accept my choice, and their respective relationships with Jasper and Carlisle wouldn't suffer as a result. Inwardly I cringed at the idea of my stupidity causing conflicts with my friends and their significant others. Since it was largely out of my immediate control, however, I pushed those thoughts from my mind.

_Heart, we will forget him,_

_You and I, tonight!_

_You must forget the warmth he gave,_

_I will forget the light._

Why couldn't I just have what I wanted? Was it too much to ask? The lingering answers – _no_ and _yes_, respectively – floating in my head left me even more depressed. The feeling of Edward's warm fingers lacing through my own snapped me back to the present like a sling shot. Instinctively I rubbed my neck with the other hand, as if to soothe the whiplash, and offered a sheepish smile in his direction.

"You okay?" he asked, finally. "You've been really quiet." _At least he waited a while._ It occurred to me that we were standing in front of a cozy Italian bistro, complete with white lights on topiaries flanking the entrance, and a red and white striped awning overhead. It was too perfect. And too much like a date. _Ugh. Shit._

"Oh. Sorry," I managed. "I'm fine. Just thinking about tomorrow's all. I'm starving; let's go inside." I pulled him toward the entrance, determined to get his mind – and mine – on food and off other, heavier things. We were seated quickly and I ordered a bottle of white wine, none too eager to repeat my last dinner performance. Not wanting to go full-board with the relationship sabotage this evening, I tried to engage him in some harmless conversation.

"Did you notice tonight when we were walking here, that it smelled like snow?" I asked. Edward took a sip of his wine, gently placed the glass on the linen tablecloth, and looked up at me with those bright emerald eyes and a warm smile.

"It _smelled_ like snow to you?" he questioned, his long finger wandering through the condensation that had collected on his glass.

"Yeah, you know – it smells cold and the air is…different," I offered with a nod. "It's hard to explain, but it smells unusual. Just like the air changes when it's going to rain. Instead of ozone, hot and electric, though, snow smells…like cold, and old leaves and calm. I know it's weird…"

"No, it's not weird at all," Edward replied. "I know what you mean; the air does feel different tonight. I just never assigned an aroma to it. That's really interesting. And quite adorable."

I couldn't help the blush that followed his comment. _Damn it._ Even talk of the weather was perilous with Edward. It was like painting myself into a corner. _Stupid. Stupid!_

The waiter came over and took our dinner orders; I couldn't even recall what I'd requested. Handing my menu to the waiter, I made the mistake of looking across the table, and found Edward's eyes on me. The way he studied me – it made me feel naked. Suddenly my mind was blank, so I took a hearty pull from my glass and prayed for inspiration to strike. Luckily, it did, but indirectly.

"So…the U2 concert next weekend," Edward began, studying his fork and then glancing up at me through a thick fringe of lashes. "Are you going?"

"Are you kidding? Front row seats? Wild horses couldn't keep me away," I enthused, glad for the new subject. Truthfully, I had been looking forward to the concert for two months; U2 had always been one of my favorites. And then I remembered that Emmett had included everyone from our new little circle in his invitation.

"Do you know who's going," I asked him.

"Well, obviously Emmett and Rose, Jasper and Alice, Carlisle and Esme…and me and you?" The last part of his list was formed into a question, as if he hoped I'd reaffirm that I was. Or maybe his hesitation was because he had lumped the two of us together like he had the other couples. _We were not a couple._ I tried not to dwell on it, though, despite the passing flutter my heart gave.

"It sounds like fun. I think Alice's plan is to go out before the concert, maybe grab a bite," I said. "I've wanted to see them in concert for years, but getting my hands on tickets has been nearly impossible. Maybe when we return home this week, you and I should make an effort to court Seattle Center as a new client."

Edward smiled but said nothing. Maybe he didn't want to discuss work during dinner. Of course, my comment reminded me that our week was starting and that it was going to be hectic. Our dinner arrived, and I was thankful for something to occupy us besides conversation. _Oh, apparently I ordered mushroom ravioli. _We both ate quickly; sex does wonders for the appetite. Checking my watch, I realized it was getting quite late, so I hailed our waiter for the check. After giving him the company credit card, I poured the last of the wine in both of our glasses, and took a sip from mine.

"Edward, if you don't mind, I think I'm going to go back to my own room after dinner," I declared, hoping that it didn't come across as presumptuous (even though it was). Frankly, there was nothing I wanted more than to snuggle into Edward again, feel his strong arms wrapped around me, and avoid the nightmares that always haunted my sleep. But I needed to be alone, under the guise of preparing for a busy day tomorrow, and I hoped that he'd understand and accept it at face value. "We have a busy day tomorrow, and we could both use a good night's sleep."

His face showed disappointment and hurt, but he recovered quickly and smiled. It didn't reach his eyes, however.

"Sure; that's fine," he answered. "It's late, anyways, and I know _I_ could use a good six or seven hours. We should get going."

I slipped the credit card back into my wallet and we both pushed our chairs back and donned our coats. Edward held the door open for me, but didn't immediately reach for my hand again as we made our way back to the hotel. The irrational part of me was wounded by his reaction to my suggestion, but then again, I suppose, I had rejected him. As we walked the city blocks, my mind alternated between thoughts of success at distancing myself and thoughts of making amends with him. The closer we were to the hotel, the more jumbled and frantic they became. Inside I was being torn in two, and it was exhausting.

"What are you thinking about?" I blurted, before my brain could catch up with my mouth. I had to know what was going through his head. Edward slowed his pace, looked down at me and smiled – a real one this time – and wove his fingers through mine before answering.

"Oh, lots of things," he said wryly. "Tomorrow, this week, the last 24 hours…you." His emerald eyes were dark and hungry again, murky pools of liquid sex. "And how I'd much rather you to come back to _my_ room."

_Fuck. Me. Okay, so obviously I didn't hurt his feelings much after all. And if he keeps looking at me like that I'm going to melt right here. All that will be left of me will be a messy puddle of oversexed Bella. _Edward affected me – deeply. His eyes, his lips, his hands, every inch of him oozed sexuality and want and need. He didn't even need to touch me and I was wet for fuck's sake. I was coming unglued, unraveled, unhinged, un-whatever else you'd like to call it. All I could do was stare at him idiotically, suddenly forgetting why it was such a good idea for me to be alone tonight.

We were standing in front of the hotel entrance, inches from each other, and I could feel the body heat rolling off Edward like shockwaves. I watched as he lifted his hand and ghosted his first two fingers along my jaw like he was worshipping it. His thumb gently grazed my cheek as his remaining fingers skimmed my neck, and I shivered uncontrollably. I felt the goose bumps spread from head to toe at his caress, as a wave of heat and wetness washed over the space between my legs. _Dangerous. Get away from him. Now._ But my body wasn't listening to my brain. That connection had long-since been severed.

Then, slowly, minute snowflakes started to drift toward the earth, swaying on the night breeze and landing on Edward's covered shoulders and bronze hair. Momentarily I was distracted from his face as I watched the tiny frozen particles settle on him and melt. The ones that began to cover his cheeks and eyelashes brought me back to his visage, and haphazardly I wondered if the snowflakes felt as drawn to him as I was.

"Bella, please, stay with me tonight," Edward whispered. I might have whimpered a bit in reply. _Damn it._ "I want to feel you beside me. We can just sleep – promise. I just need…"

His lips were touching mine, and I instinctively leaned in and closed my eyes, kissing him and, at present, not giving a shit about my "plan." Edward wrapped his arms around my waist, pulled my body against his, and I relaxed into his embrace and melded myself to his lean, hard form.

The only way to describe the feeling of kissing Edward would be to say it was like I'd been searching the earth for a missing appendage – an arm or leg, my lungs, my heart; I wasn't sure which – and then the realization of soul recognition as soon as I touched him. The missing part was found and I was whole for the first time. Call me sappy if you will – and I am _not_ sappy – but kissing and _being with_ Edward felt like that. _Oh I am so screwed._

I broke our kiss and gently tugged him toward the warmth of the hotel lobby. Eager to be upstairs, I punched the button for the elevator and as we waited, his fingers discretely found mine. The elevator dinged and we stepped inside, thankful that it was empty. We kissed as if we were the last two people in the world; our tongues sparred in each other's mouths and our hands held on to each other tightly for fear of being torn apart.

"I'd like that very much," I admitted, finally mumbling a reply against his lips. "But I really think it would behoove us both to be in our own beds tonight. We need to be focused tomorrow; maybe later this week we can have a sleepover again."

As the elevator dinged again to announce our arrival at our floor, neither one of us moved to exit. I could feel Edward's hands on me; one set of fingers at the nape of my neck, woven through my hair, and the other kneading the flesh and clothing at my lower back. Desperately I wanted to keep them on me, but knew I couldn't be that selfish. My arms were thrown around his neck, my own fingers threaded through the coppery mess there. Begrudgingly, I withdrew my hands and took a step out into the hall.

It was a dirty trick to placate him with the promise of another night, but I thought it would work. And it afforded my heart a flicker of hope that I'd follow through on it, and it made the forced separation a bit more bearable. After planting one more searing kiss on Edward in front of our rooms, I ended our passionate embrace with briefer, less urgent pecks against his lips and then his cheeks and nose and chin. He sighed, apparently sensing the battle lost, and pulled me into an earnest hug. As soon as he held me away from him, my body registered the loss, and I fought not to pout.

_This was necessary. No other way, Bella._

"A thousand times goodnight, Bella," he said softly, tilting my chin up so my lips brushed against his one more time. "Sleep well and I'll see you in the morning."

I watched him open his door and disappear behind it without looking behind him, and then I walked the two steps to my own room and slid the key card into the lock. As soon as the door clicked behind me I fell back against it. Only Edward would quote Shakespeare, and Romeo and Juliet at that. _Dirty pool, Edward. _Shaking my head, I walked into my suite and took off my coat.

Quickly I dressed for bed in my comfortable flannel PJs and brushed my teeth. I pulled my hair back in a loose pony tail and climbed into bed after securing the latch across the door. As I snuggled under the covers, trying to get warm, my mind raced with thoughts of Edward.

How in the hell was I going to extract myself now? It was definitely too fucking late. I was already in over my damn head. Drowning in a choppy emerald sea of Edward. I laughed aloud as I recalled his words of parting, which brought to mind another passage in the tragedy. It played in an echo as I drifted off to sleep.

_These violent delights have violent ends  
And in their triumph die, like fire and powder,  
Which as they kiss consume. The sweetest honey  
Is loathsome in his own deliciousness  
And in the taste confounds the appetite.  
Therefore love moderately; long love doth so;  
Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow._

_A/N: Yeah, so Bella's not doing so well out of the gate in her attempt to distance herself from Edward. The man does things to her. But at least she's in her own bed. For now. Tomorrow – back to work for these two. _

_Please leave reviews and let me know what you think! I devour them like mushroom ravioli!_

_The passages in this chapter are from Heart we will forget him by Emily Dickinson and William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet (obviously). No copyright infringement intended here._


	17. Chapter 17: The grind

_#_

_Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just decided it was time to shake things up a bit in her characters' world. And I wanted a bitchy Bella, so here we go! _

_Oh, and all of the references used in this story in relation to the advertising and marketing company and accounts are only used here for entertainment purposes; no copyright infringement intended._

_Thank you to the following people: Flyaway Dove, my wonderful beta extraordinaire; angelicwish, who has gone above and beyond the call of duty to provide this insecure writer with feedback; Lita for making me beautiful banners and being awesome in general; Vicky my new LA pal; and last but certainly not least, to Jen – she makes me smile all the time. _

_Ok, gang. Settle in – this is a long one. It's the first day of the conference, so work is the focus. But a good nightmare always makes it interesting, no? _

**Chapter Seventeen: The grind**

In my dream, it was dark and foreboding as usual. I was running frantically through the woods, roots tripping me, moss causing me to lose my footing, branches snagging my hair and clothes. It was always the same -- same place, same faces, same horrifying sense of dread and fear and abandonment.

As I reached the first clearing, I looked down to find that I was -- as usual -- dressed in a now-torn business suit. I knew what was coming next, and my dream-self cringed as Sam appeared, with three little children in tow. All of them looked like their father -- the bronze skin, the dark eyes and the kind smile -- and the two boys had Sam's cropped black hair, while the little girl's onyx locks flowed freely down her back. Sam's eyes fell on me and his hand reached back instinctively to stop his children's advance and protect them from me, the stranger. As recognition lit his features, Sam's eyes were gentle and sad. His expression always made me cry in this dream; I felt the hot tears spill over my cheeks. A sob ripped through me and then they were gone, dissolving into the green backdrop like a mirage.

I turned away from the scene and started running again. Minutes or hours passed and then I was walking down a long hallway, my shoes clicking against the wood floor. Once again I didn't have to wonder who'd be waiting at the other end, and I didn't bother to look down at my attire: this time a dress and apron that made me look like June Cleaver. James had his back to me, cigar smoke curling around his blonde hair and toward the ceiling and he was laughing obnoxiously at something on TV. The ice in his glass clinked as he took a drink of his scotch, and then he turned to me and I shivered. A pair of shrewd, frost-blue eyes processed my appearance, judged and found me lacking.

His eyes narrowed and his thin lips curled back over his teeth as he sneered at me, "Well, where the fuck is my dinner?"

It was, like always, all I needed to hear before spinning on my heel and running. Tearing off the apron and kicking off my high heels, I ran until my lungs threatened to burst; I ran until _his_ dorm room door was in front of me, cracked open in a silent warning that something was off. But I never heeded it.

Slowly I pushed through, walking into the room, which was dimly lit by the moonlight pouring through the window. It took my eyes a moment to adjust, but then I saw movement -- that distinct motion of two bodies together -- on Paul's bed, and I gasped and clamped my hand over my mouth. Over the years, the girl's face had changed and then become vague and featureless. Paul's hard features were still as clear as the day he broke my heart.

His head snapped up, me having alerted him to my presence, but he made no attempt to apologize for the woman writhing beneath him. Paul's black, beady eyes bore a hole in me as he continued to move with her and it made me physically ill. When he was finished, he lifted his hulking frame from his whore and stood in front of me -- all six feet, five inches of him. He bared his teeth at me, and I watched as his entire body shook with rage.

"What…are you…doing here," he seethed, breathing heavily. "I told you not to come."

I stammered and stuttered, apologizing pathetically for a crime I did not commit. Through my mumbling and tears, I watched as his meaty hands balled into fists at his sides.

"Leave. Now, Bella," he ordered. "I don't want you here. I don't want you."

"Paul, please," I begged, reaching for him. Like a wounded beast, he yanked his hands away and moved so that he was out of my reach. He had fire in his eyes and I couldn't make sense of it.

"No! Bella, just go," he bellowed. "If you don't, so help me…" And one claw of a hand raised back, poised to strike. Again I turned and ran, blinded by tears and sobbing. My heart ached for all of them, despite the circumstances. As I ran -- back in the dark forest -- and tripped and slipped and stumbled, I mourned the family I'd never have; I cried for the wife I would never be; and paid tribute to the ultimate betrayal on my heart with my own tears.

"Please God no," I moaned. "No more. No more! Please."

With a gasp I bolted up in bed, clutching my pillow, my eyes struggling to process my surroundings. No forest. No Sam, James or Paul. I was alone. In my hotel room. In Chicago. _With Edward in the next room._ Glancing at the clock, I saw that it was just after 3 a.m. It took a few minutes for me to regain my breath and slow my pulse, and in that time I deduced that Edward was still sleeping next door. The hotel was quiet, with the exception of the mechanical noises of the ventilation system, the soft buzz of the lights in the hall and the drone of the ice machine around the corner as it kicked on. It's amazing what you can hear when everyone else is asleep.

I lay back down and as my head hit the pillow I thought I heard the soft click of a door open and close. But then there was nothing. For a few minutes I considered knocking on Edward's door and asking him to help me fall asleep again. _I had slept so soundly that night, after he woke me from my nightmare._ But I couldn't bring myself to get up. I wouldn't do that to him or me. And I'd been having these nightmares for years and had managed just fine.

So I rolled over and pulled the blankets up to my chin. _Think happy thoughts._ My mind drifted to thoughts of Alice and Jasper, to Esme and Rose, and then to my dad Charlie. _I'll have to call him this week. We haven't spoken in a while. And Renee too. If it weren't for Phil keeping her busy, she would have been jamming my cell phone with her texts and voicemails._ Soon after, I fell back to sleep.

***********

"Hello?"

"Ms. Swan, this is your 5 a.m. wakeup call."

"Oh, thank you."

"You're welcome. Have a good day."

Before I could fall asleep again I put the receiver back on its cradle and swung my legs over the edge of the bed. _Monday. Ugh._ Slowly I rose and then stretched, wishing I could get another few hours of sleep. I trudged to the electronic keypad and turned up the heat, and then made my way to the bathroom. After a shower, I felt a bit more alert and ready to face the first day of the conference. Luckily today was going to be occupied by the obligatory morning welcome and then day-long sessions and workshops. Later this afternoon Edward and I would be manning our "booth." I called the front desk and asked them to send someone up to gather our materials; the convention staff had set up our booth the day prior, but someone was arriving this morning to collect the rest of our belongings before the start of the conference.

Wearing jeans for an entire weekend had thrown me off; it felt good to be wearing a suit again. Less than an hour later, I was dressed and ready, my hair tucked smoothly into a bun and my seamed stockings pin straight, leafing through the conference packet and itinerary, when someone knocked on my door. _Edward._ Automatically I smiled, and then arranged my features in a business-like façade before answering the door.

"Good morning Edward," I said. He stood at my door in his coat, a brown bag in one hand and a tray with two coffees in the other. His smile was warm and his eyes were bright, and I couldn't help but smile back. And Edward smelled like muffins.

"I thought you might be hungry, and figured a good breakfast would start the day off right," he said. "Do you like blueberry muffins?"

"Love them," I said, stepping aside to let him into my room. Edward deposited our muffins and coffee on my "kitchen" table and draped his coat over a chair. Again, he seemed to survey my quarters like he was looking for something. Apparently satisfied, he turned to me.

"So…heat working okay now?"

"Yes, thankfully," I said, digging into the bag and extracting an enormous, warm muffin. "Where did you get these? They're still warm."

"I ran out a few minutes ago and there's a small bakery around the corner. They claim to have the best muffins in Chicago, and it's only the _best_ muffins for Isabella Swan, so..." As I took a hefty bite, he leaned over and kissed my forehead.

"Mmmmm….fnks," I garbled my reply. Edward folded himself into the chair opposite me, opened his coffee and blew on the top of it. I watched, transfixed, as his lips pursed again and again, before he lifted the rim to his mouth. _Damn it._ Scolding myself yet again, I stuffed a chunk of blueberry deliciousness into my mouth.

"Did you, uh, sleep well?" he asked me over the edge of his coffee cup. For a moment I panicked, fearful that he'd heard me talking in my sleep last night.

"Um…fine. You?"

"I slept okay, but woke up a few times," he admitted. "I don't like sleeping in hotels. Prefer my own bed, you know?" He didn't say anything more about my sleeping habits, which was a relief. I simply nodded in agreement, because my mouth was again full of muffin. When we finished our breakfast I thanked Edward again and threw away the empty bag and coffee cups.

"We should probably get going soon," I said. "I'd like to get over there early to inspect the booth setup, and there's bound to be traffic this morning." He agreed and stood to put his coat on.

"I'll be right back; just need to stop back in my room for a minute," Edward said, striding toward the door. While he was gone I brushed my teeth and put on my coat. When I opened the door he was back, and before I could ask him if he was ready, he pulled me to him and pressed his lips to mine. _Damn._ Those lips could bring about world peace; I was sure of it. He urged my mouth open with his tongue and there we were, making out at 6:30 in the damn morning in my hotel room doorway. My briefcase dropped to the floor as he leaned me backwards. My limbs felt like Jell-o and I wondered how the hell I was going to get through the day without kissing or touching Edward.

"Now _that_ was a proper good morning kiss," he said, standing me upright and stooping to pick up my briefcase. He placed an affectionate peck on my nose and grinned like he was proud of the obvious aftermath of his kissing.

"Hmmm…" was all I could muster. _Good one, Bella._

"Come on, let's go," he suggested. He took my hand and led me to the elevator.

Edward and I boarded one of the charter buses transporting people from downtown to the convention center, and within minutes we were standing outside of McCormick Place. The glass and stone structure was architectural yet inviting, and once inside we found our destination easily. Our display booth was perfect, which made me happy, so we made our way to the other exhibit hall where we'd be spending most of the day. Edward stayed close to me but didn't touch me, which I appreciated and loathed at the same time. He seemed to sense how much the conference was weighing on me and that I needed to keep a professional distance.

As the hall filled and the din of voices grew louder, Edward looked at me while I fiddled with my pen. I turned and smiled at him, and then forcibly stilled myself when I realized I was fidgeting. As the lights lowered a few times to settle the crowd, he leaned over so his lips were at my ear.

"By the way, you look beautiful," he whispered. Thankfully the blush that crept up my neck and into my cheeks was camouflaged by the dim lighting.

"Thank you," I replied, turning to take a good look at Edward. As usual he was dressed impeccably in a black suit and thin black tie, which complemented his lean and tall frame, and the green-blue shirt peeking from behind his jacket brought out the traces of bronze in his hair and the blue flecks in his eyes. Not that I should I have been studying him enough to know that they were there.

After the official welcome our sessions began and Edward and I got wrapped up in what each of the speakers had to offer in the world of marketing and PR. My philosophy had always been that there was always something to learn, a better and more effective way in which to complete a task. This conference was as much a learning experience as it was an opportunity for us to illustrate why Swan & Platte was one of the best firms in the business. Lunch offered a chance for networking, so Edward and I split up to work the room; for me especially, it provided me with the option of surveying future competition.

Privately, Esme and I had discussed expanding our reach and opening up another office on the West Coast or possibly in the Midwest. During the past year she and I had added cities to our list of possible satellite sites: Portland, San Diego, Phoenix, Denver and now Chicago. At each conference we'd attended I'd paid special attention to the other firms, their people and the business atmosphere in the city. That would be another item on my agenda this week. Exploring the city alone would also hopefully give me time to accomplish other, less savory, tasks -- including _not_ spending time with Edward.

As the last session concluded later that afternoon, I permitted myself another prolonged glance at Edward, who was still sitting beside me. His long fingers appeared to caress his pen as he wrote down some unseen notes, though I knew it was my overactive imagination. While he wrote I observed the hint of stubble along the line of his jaw and across his upper lip, and he blinked his emerald eyes often because of the dry air in the room.

Edward, in my eyes, was a suit-clad deity; some aberration of God's creation. He was _too_ perfect – a misplaced angel in a damaged world. He was much too kind; he was intelligent and funny; he was passionate and tender; he was a gentleman and a friend.

And anyways, I did not deserve him.

Jolting myself out of my daydream, I uncrossed and crossed my legs, forgetting how close Edward was sitting; as the side of my calf brushed against his pant leg, a pang of desire raced through me and I clenched my thighs tightly to stifle the tingly feeling between them. _Damn it._ I grimaced and shifted my gaze from my feet to Edward's now-stilled hands, and then to his face. His eyes were on me and his full lips were turned up in a lopsided smile, as if he knew _exactly_ what was going on next to him.

"Hi there," he said softly. He slipped the pen into his leather portfolio and closed the folder. People all around us rose from their seats, gathered their belongings and made their way to the exits but we stayed seated, oblivious to them. "Long, day, huh. Want to grab some dinner after we're done at the booth?"

I _wanted_ to say yes to Edward. After watching him at different times throughout the day and sitting so close to him for the rest of it, I was aching to have time with him so we could talk more, laugh more and _kiss_ more. But it would have been counterproductive, so I shook my head.

"I'm sorry Edward; really, I'd love to have dinner with you," I said somberly, standing and modestly stretching. "But I need to make a few phone calls after we're done tonight, as well as some obligatory things to do before it gets too late." It was a lame excuse, but it was all I had.

"Oh…sure. That's fine," Edward said, visibly disappointed. Then his eyes lit up and I knew he wasn't going to take my refusal as readily as I'd hoped. "Well, when are you going to eat, then?" _Shit. Didn't think of that._

"Um, I'll order room service when I get back to the hotel," I countered as we exited the room and walked toward the ballroom with the displays. _Ha-ha! _"Honestly, Edward, I don't when I'll return and it might be rather late."

"Well, I'll wait for you then."

"That's really sweet of you, but it'd be easier if we just did our own thing tonight, okay?" _Please just make my life easier and agree. Please._

"Okay, okay, waving the white flag," he said with resignation as we reached our display booth. "So, are we going to split up or take shifts?"

I instructed Edward to stay on one side of the display booth; I would remain on the other. Thankfully the exhibit only ran for two hours tonight; tomorrow and Thursday would be three. The two of us fielded questions from passersby, handed out brochures and greeted everyone who walked past. For the first time, however, it did not hold its usual allure.

"How are you doing over here?" Edward asked, poking his head around the display backdrop after we had been at our posts for almost an hour. The time was dragging.

"Good," I said, smiling. "You?"

"Okay, but I have a slight problem," he confessed quietly, abandoning his side of the booth and coming to stand next to me. He was so close that our bodies almost touched, and it did absolutely nothing to improve my concentration. Still, I attempted to keep a professional air.

"And what's your problem?" I asked, terrified of his answer but secretly wanting to hear it regardless.

"I can't stop thinking about you," he said, his voice now heavy with seduction and lust. After glancing in all directions to ensure no one was walking by, Edward reached down and placed his hands on my ass and pulled me to him. If anyone happened to walk past us, there would be no doubt that something less-than-strictly-professional was going on, despite the display counter hiding our lower halves. As I attempted to protest and push him away, he softly shushed me and his hands migrated to my thighs and the hem of my skirt.

"All I've been able to think about all day is you -- your skin, your hair, your lips, your body," he breathed against my ear, before sucking on my hoop earring and earlobe. I could feel that he was quite sincere in his declaration, and struggled not to moan. "You have no idea the things I want to do to you." His talented fingers slipped under my skirt. "You've been teasing me all day with these damn stockings, and….ugh" -- he said when he discovered my garters -- "and _these_…so I am going to tell you _exactly_ what I'd like to do to you."

My eyes rolled back and I tilted my head, oblivious to the entirely inappropriate situation that we'd created. My brain was a TV on the fritz, full of loud static. Just as my vision cleared enough for me to look over Edward's shoulder, I saw someone round the corner of a booth a few down from ours, heading in our direction. _Damn it._ Quickly I stepped away from Edward and smoothed my skirt. The sudden movement prompted Edward to turn in the direction of my gaze and simultaneously adjust himself as the man approached.

He was older, wearing an old suit and worn overcoat, his hands wrapped around bags filled with trade show freebies. His greasy black hair was slicked back and his eyes appeared to only be focused on his prize.

"Hello," I said cheerfully as he surveyed the counter in front of me. He didn't look up or greet me, however, and I shot Edward a look with one brow quirked. When the man spotted a pen and small pad of paper with our logo on them, he finally addressed me.

"Are these free?" he asked, gesturing to the items on the table. I nodded and he scooped them into one of his plastic bags and turned to continue on his way. No "thank you" or "goodbye." And then Edward and I were alone again. I turned to make a comment about how there was always someone like that at trade shows and conventions -- trawling for free pens, magnets, candy, key chains -- but didn't get farther than opening my mouth. Edward's hands were back on me and under my skirt again.

"Where was I…" he mused while his nose nuzzled my neck. The rational side of me was horrified with the risk of us being caught like this, _in flagrante_, but my more reckless side was thrilled with the danger of it all, which only heightened my arousal. "Oh yes, now I remember." His fingers migrated across the bare flesh of my upper thighs, around to my ass and then between my legs. I bit my lip to keep from whimpering.

Edward shifted us so that I was facing our backdrop and his eyes could keep watch of any traffic.

"You denied me last night, Isabella," he purred into my ear. "Last night I wanted to lick your entire body, and to worship you with kisses until you begged for release." With one finger he pulled my lace underwear aside, and skillfully slid another finger across the wetness there. The air left my lungs in a _woosh_ and my body began to quiver. "I want to make you scream my name -- only my name, over and over and _over_. I want you against a wall. I want you on the floor. I want you every moment of every day."

_Some say the world will end in fire,  
Some say in ice.  
From what I've tasted of desire  
I hold with those who favor fire.  
But if it had to perish twice,  
I think I know enough of hate  
To say that for destruction ice  
Is also great  
And would suffice._

"Edward…," I moaned. Suddenly his fingers were gone, and he stepped back.

"Time's up," he said with a smirk. I wanted to slap him. Gaping at him like a fool, I smoothed my skirt for the second time and ran my hands self-consciously down my body, convinced that there was some obvious sign that we'd been misbehaving. Checking his watch, Edward added, "Our shift is over for today. I'm going to get some dinner. You said you had things to do?"

Edward was playing dirty. And that was _my_ game. I narrowed my eyes at him, but he wasn't paying attention. He was making himself busy straightening piles of brochures and checking under the counters. _Faker._ All I could think about was continuing our little interlude. Edward's hands on me again. Screw dinner and making phone calls and checking out the city. I had all week to do that.

The lights in the large convention hall dimmed, the staff no doubt assuming everyone had left. Inspiration struck once more and I knew instantly what I must do. Edward's back was to me as he reached for his things.

This was beyond want or desire. I _needed_ this.

_A/N: Okay, okay. Please don't shoot me. I thought this chapter was getting a bit too long, and thought the sexual tension would lead up to some damn juicy lemons next chapter. Promise – it _will_ be worth it._

_This poem, as some of you might know quite well, is Fire and Ice by Robert Frost (he's my favorite poet). No copyright infringement intended._


	18. Chapter 18: Let me count the ways

_Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just decided it was time to shake things up a bit in her characters' world. And I wanted a bitchy Bella, so here we go! _

_Oh, and all of the references used in this story in relation to the advertising and marketing company and accounts are only used here for entertainment purposes; no copyright infringement intended._

_Thank you to the following people: Flyaway Dove, my wonderful beta extraordinaire; angelicwish, who has gone above and beyond the call of duty to provide this insecure writer with feedback; Lita for making me beautiful banners and being awesome in general; Vicky my new LA pal; and last but certainly not least, to Jen – she makes me smile all the time. And thanks to all of you who read and profess your love for this story!_

_Now, without further ado…_

**Chapter Eighteen: Let me count the ways**

"What the…" Edward exclaimed as I pushed him onto the floor of the booth. He scrambled so that he was on his back, agape like he half-expected someone else to be standing there. I stood over him, straddling his body with my hands on my hips. He looked perplexed, surprised and completely turned on. _Perfect._

"Bella, what are you doing?"

"Time isn't up yet, Edward," I said in a low voice, smiling. "_I'm_ not done with you."

In one fluid movement, I hiked up my skirt and sat down on Edward's hips, the tops of my thigh-highs and garter ribbons now blatantly on display. Immediately his hands were on my legs and he sat up and crushed his lips against mine with so much force it nearly knocked me backward. He pushed my mouth open with his tongue, his kiss urgent and needy, and I willingly complied. I shoved his suit jacket off his shoulders and then went to work on his tie, breaking our kiss only so that I could yank it over his head.

"Fuck, Bella," he growled, grasping my hips and grounding me against his hardness. "You're going to be the death of me."

With his admission I smiled, and untucked my white blouse from my skirt. I pulled his hands away and pinned them to the floor above his head, and from this angle my hips rocked against him of their own accord.

Okay, so call me a hypocrite and a liar, but the idea of a second night being Edward-free was _not_ an option. I knew deep down that I'd pay for my weakness later but at this moment it didn't matter.

"You do things to me…that no one ever has, Edward," I said, using one hand to pin down both of his while my other hand eased the buttons of my blouse open. "I want to make you feel good. I want to make you come."

I released his hands so that I could remove my shirt, and as I shrugged out of it and let it fall Edward sat up and wrapped his arms around me. Hungrily he kissed my neck, my collarbone and the slope of my breasts. While he focused on the newly-exposed skin, I pulled his shirt out of his waistband, anxious to see more of him. This was progressing too slowly. My body craved him.

"Edward, I need you -- right now," I said, my voice frantic. Hurriedly I stood up and tugged down the lace that separated me from what I desired. Then I reached for my purse and pulled out a condom, laying waste to the wrapper. Edward watched as the pink fabric fell around my ankles and his mouth dropped open as I stood over him once more.

"If you don't pull down your fucking pants, Edward, I'm going to walk right out of here without you," I threatened. Edward's eyes snapped up and his lip curled up at the corner in what looked like a snarl. It sent a shiver through me. So swiftly that it was a blur of leather and black fabric, Edward unbuckled his belt and unzipped his trousers, pushing them down to his knees. With desperate hands he eased my skirt up around my waist, took the condom from me and brought me down on top of him, without a word.

My head rolled back with the sensation of him filling me completely and the air rushed out of my lungs. The electric pulse, always present when we touched, seemed to be concentrated -- white, splintering fire -- when we came together like this.

"God, you feel so good Edward," I moaned as I rocked over his length. "You're so…hard. Ugh."

That seemed to animate Edward even more -- if that were possible -- and I felt him grow inside me as he lifted and then impaled me on him along with each of my thrusts. My body was so ready for him, and the moisture that pooled between us only spurred him on and brought me closer to the edge. Edward's hands were clenching my ass and his lips alternated between my mouth and my breasts. He forced me up and down, harder and faster, and I knew I wouldn't last much longer.

"Oh, shit, Edward I'm going to come," I cried, breathless and delirious. "Edward, I…oh my God. Edward. Edward!"

My entire body trembled with my release, and as I came Edward bit down on the flesh peeking out of my bra. In an effort to give him his release, I leaned back a bit, but Edward pulled me back into his arms and continued to move me against him until his body stiffened. He moaned and then dropped his head on my shoulder, panting.

"Shit, Bella," he gasped. "That was…so fucking…hot."

I smiled, quite pleased with myself, and after kissing Edward once more I stood up to search for my underwear. I located it peeking out from under the table cloth, and after I had rearranged my clothes I glanced at Edward. He was redressed as well, though his shirt remained untucked and his tie hung loosely around his neck. _Messy Edward is good. _

"Hmm…I like you rumpled too," I said, playfully mussing his hair and planting another kiss on his lips. "Come on. Let's get out of here. I'm ravenous."

We snuck out of the hall unnoticed, and practically ran outside to catch the charter back to our hotel. During the short ride we stole glances at each other like two high school kids, barely able to contain our smiles and giggles. Edward held the door to the hotel for me, which seemed to bother the doorman, but Edward was oblivious. He didn't try to hold my hand as we strolled through the lobby; nevertheless, the backs of our hands touched occasionally as we walked toward the stairs. The electric charge felt comfortable now.

"What would you like to do for dinner Edward," I asked him, pausing outside my door. "We could order room service or go out somewhere. I'm open to anything."

He leaned toward me with darkened, hungry eyes and when he licked his lips my stomach did little happy flips. How could he possibly still want more? I was mystified.

"I have an idea for dinner," he said, his voice like velvet against my skin. "Bella, all I want is you. My appetite, when it comes to you, is insatiable. What I need is your body, naked, against mine."

His words turned my brain to mush, my legs to limp noodles and the rest of me a puddle of aroused Bella. Edward backed me up against my door, pushing his body against mine and kissing my neck with fevered haste. His fingers wove through my hair, and as they massaged my scalp it sent shivers down my spine.

"Bella, can't you see what you do to me?" he asked as he let me feel _exactly_ what I did to him. I whimpered when I felt his hardness against my upper thigh, and I knew we needed to get inside. Immediately.

"Edward, I want to show you what _you_ do to _me_," I whispered, as I frantically and blindly searched my purse for my key card, never taking my eyes off his. After a moment I felt the smooth plastic and reached behind me to slip it in the lock. With one hand pushing down the door handle, I grabbed Edward by his tie and towed him into my suite.

Once we were behind my closed hotel room door, there was a flurry of moans and sighs, kisses and clothing as Edward and I alternated between undressing each other and ourselves, shedding coats, briefcases and all formalities of the day. Apparently hoping to explore the benefits of sex against hard surfaces, Edward slammed me against the wall just inside the entrance and it knocked the wind out of me.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked, concern and panic coloring his features.

"Shut up and kiss me," I ordered, and he complied, satisfied that I was not as fragile as he'd feared. His mouth devoured mine and I explored his with my tongue. Edward's hands seemed to move on their own, touching as much of my body as possible, removing clothing when it impeded full access.

As my blouse came off, I heard a couple of buttons pop and fall to the floor with a muffled tap. I managed to get Edward's belt off and was working on the buttons of his shirt, the tie already discarded. My hands discovered skin, and I raked my fingernails over his back and then his chest while he unzipped my skirt and let it fall to the floor. My bra was next, quick work for Edward's capable fingers, and his shoes and socks. He stood back for a moment, gazing at me, him only with his suit pants on and me in only my lacy briefs, stockings and garters and heels.

"What?" I asked, feeling self-conscious. Instead of meeting his gaze, my eyes wandered down to the crotch of his pants, pleased with what I saw there, his steeled flesh straining against the seam.

"Bella, you are perfect -- absolutely fucking perfect."

I blushed at his compliment but could not reply. It would have sounded cheesy to tell him _he_ was perfect, too. And my tongue, anyways, seemed to be made of cotton. I began to step out of my heels and unfasten the snaps of my garters, but Edward was upon me again, stilling my hands.

"Please, leave them. Let me."

At a painstakingly deliberate pace, he knelt on the floor and ran his hands up my thighs to my hips. Gently he eased off my lace underwear, his eyes darkening even more when the flimsy barrier was gone. Tenderly he held my calves to help me step out of my heels and my underwear, and then I watched as he put the small handful of lace into his pocket. He looked up at me through his long lashes, his eyes on fire, and stood. I unfastened his pants and let them fall, and then hooked my fingers into the waistband of his boxer briefs and yanked them down.

I took a second to admire his length, bobbing tantalizingly before me, a bead of moisture forming on the head. Again, I reached into my discarded purse and pulled out a prophylactic. From my crouched position, I had a perfect view of him.

_I wanted to taste him. _

With one glance up at his face, I licked my lips and then brushed my tongue across the tip. Edward inhaled a sharp breath but said nothing. Bracing myself with my hands on his ass I took another pass, this time flicking the sensitive spot underneath the head with the tip of my tongue. This time Edward moaned and grasped my shoulders with his hands.

"Shit, Bella."

Taking that as a cue to continue with his consent, I swirled my tongue around him and across the slit at the tip, and then took him into my mouth. His skin was hot and smooth, and it tasted sweet and salty. I moaned with pleasure as I felt him thicken in my mouth, and it sent waves of heat directly to my core. Edward's breathing became labored and fast, and his fingers dug into my shoulders, moving gently with me each time I took him into my mouth. _God, he tastes good._ As I lapped every drop of salty moisture that seeped from him, I felt my own mounting arousal.

"Oh God Bella," he mumbled. After bringing Edward almost to the edge of orgasm, I withdrew my mouth slowly. As colder air met his wet skin, his eyes flew half-open in a mixture of rapture and confusion.

Hoping to surprise him, I put the rolled up condom in my mouth and eased it over his length with my lips and tongue, sucking, licking and nibbling as I went. This seemed to render his language skills entirely useless.

"Fuck…ohmygod…Bella…shit…fuck," he stammered.

Suddenly I was against the wall once more. Edward threw my legs around his waist and with unintelligible murmurs against my neck, he sheathed himself with me. Stars exploded across my field of vision with his initial thrust, and I clamored soundlessly as I fought to catch a breath. My hands sought something to hold onto above my head but were unsuccessful, so I clawed Edward's back and shoulders looking for purchase on the bands of muscle that stretched across his broad torso.

In between fierce kisses, full of lips and tongue and gasps, we moaned and grunted in unison as he filled me over and over again. My back distantly registered the discomfort of the repetition, but it only fueled my desire.

"Fuck me Edward," I commanded. "Hard." In response Edward bit on my bottom lip at the same time he collected my hair in his fist and tugged. I gasped and dug my nails deeper into his shoulders, and he hissed in reply. For what seemed like hours and only seconds we tortured each other like we were trying to prove something.

I could feel the familiar aching pull deep in my abdomen, and Edward undoubtedly could feel me getting wetter as he moved inside me. He growled and pumped harder and faster, driving me toward the inevitable precipice.

"Oh God, Edward…" I cried. I tilted my head back and squeezed my eyes shut as I came hard around him, and seconds later his muscles clenched and he stilled as he followed. My legs, hooked around his waist in a death grip, were numb and useless. Again, as if he knew I would be unstable on two legs, Edward managed to walk us to the couch in the sitting room and eased our tired bodies onto it. Gently he untangled my legs and I slid off him. He pulled me over so that I was resting on his chest and discarded the condom in a tissue. For a while we just lay there, naked, sweaty and sated.

"Mmmmm…" he sighed as he ran his fingers through my knotted hair.

All I could do in reply was kiss his chest. As I played with the hair around his nipple, I listened to his heartbeat slow and regulate. Soon his hand stilled, his breathing evened and slowed, and I knew he was asleep. My stomach growled, of course, but I wasn't about to move so I quietly shushed it for the time being. We'd eat later.

_Touched by all that love is  
I draw closer toward you  
Saddened by all that love is  
I run from you_

Surprised by all that love is  
I remain alert in stillness  
Hurt by all that love is  
I yearn for tenderness

Defeated by all that love is  
at the truthful mouth of the night  
Forsaken by all that love is  
I will grow toward you.

***********

Some time later I was startled awake by hands squeezing my ass, and I looked up to find Edward awake and eager. _Damn. _He smirked as my brows arched in disbelief and his lips parted as he chuckled low and husky.

"What can I say," he asked, his voice rough from sleep. "I told you…"

I smirked back at him and arranged my legs so that I was straddling him and his erection. My body responded at once to the feeling of the hardness between my legs and I rocked against him, anxious to feel him inside me again.

Edward sat up and with one arm around me, flipped us on the couch so that I was on my back. Apparently this time Edward wanted to drive. With greedy hands and eager lips he massaged, licked, nipped at and sucked on every inch of skin from my knees to my neck. When he reached the sensitive skin at my hips he took special care to tease, and I fisted my hands in his copper hair.

Gently and sensually he licked and kissed, and then bent my knee so he could kiss the inside of my thigh. I moaned when his tongue came perilously close to the place I wanted it most and I fought the urge to move myself into his path. Edward kept me still with his hands, braced on each thigh, spreading me for him. Softly he bit the junction of my upper thigh and torso and then kissed the spot tenderly in atonement. Edward was driving me mad; my hands fisted the seams of the couch cushion and the pillows around me. The torture was indescribable.

When I finally felt Edward's hot breath, I squirmed, and when I felt his tongue, I cried out as the air left my lungs. He devoured me, his mouth capable of feats I had never experienced, and I wanted him to lick me until his tongue fell out…or I died from ecstasy overload. My fingers searched for and found Edward's hair and wound through the auburn mess poised between my legs. He finally came up for air, but only long enough to lick his lips, moaning with his eyes shut as he tasted me.

"Bella, you taste so good," he said before disappearing again. He groaned with almost every pass, and the vibrations combined with the skilled movements of his tongue sent me hurtling through space as I came. Edward surfaced again, a smile displayed on his slightly swollen lips.

"That's three."

_Ohmygod. Ohmygod. He's counting. And apparently not done._

My brain could barely process this realization as it struggled to count backward to the convention center. I threw my arm over my eyes but let Edward see the thoroughly contented smile that turned up the corners of my mouth. The couch flexed and I heard the tap turn on in my bathroom briefly. Then there was shuffling and the soft thump of Edward's bare feet as he returned to the couch. I lifted my arm and he was standing over me in all his glorious nakedness. _Damn, how did I manage to get _this_? _His hard-on taunted me and so did his expression. Again, I let my eyes wander from his beautiful face, down his neck, across his shoulders and chest to his abdomen and the V at his hips and his strong legs.

Edward's lips on mine distracted me from my idol worship, and I could still taste myself on him. He stood and held up a handful of condoms; his eyes were alight with a mixture of humor and renewed want.

"You know, at this rate, we're going to have to make another stop for more of these," he teased. "It's only Monday."

_Oh my God. It's only Monday._ And it looked like I was headed toward my fourth orgasm of the day. The insight delighted me and troubled me.

_Oh plunge me deep in love—put out_

_My senses, leave me deaf and blind,_

_Swept by the tempest of your love,_

_A taper in a rushing wind._

_A/N: Okay gang, so are you all in need of a cold shower or an outlet for all of the pent up tension? Hope this was good for you. If I smoked, I'd be lying back with a cigarette right now. ;) Again._

_ The first poem is Confession by Frantisek Halas, and the second passage is an excerpt from I Am Not Yours by Sara Teasdale. No copyright infringement intended._

_ Does anyone care to know my thoughts on why I chose all of the poems I have for Bella's POV? Please let me know and I can include it. Maybe in a thread?_

_ Please leave reviews! I love them like counting Os!_


	19. Chapter 19: The vultures descend

_Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just decided it was time to shake things up a bit in her characters' world. And I wanted a bitchy Bella, so here we go! _

_Oh, and all of the references used in this story in relation to the advertising and marketing company and accounts are only used here for entertainment purposes; no copyright infringement intended._

_Thank you to the following people: Flyaway Dove, my wonderful beta extraordinaire; angelicwish, who has gone above and beyond the call of duty to provide this insecure writer with loads of feedback; Lita for making me beautiful banners and being awesome in general; Vicky my new LA pal; and last but certainly not least, to Jen – she makes me smile all the time. And thanks to all of you who read and profess your love for this story!_

**Chapter Nineteen: The vultures descend**

Edward and I spent the remainder of Monday evening naked and wrapped in each other, our bodies a tangle of limbs. We devastated my condom supply, and Edward said he'd go out and get the next box. And I couldn't help it; I thrilled at the idea that we'd need more of them. When we couldn't ignore our hunger anymore, I ordered room service. We ate dinner -- French toast with strawberries and scrambled eggs and toast -- in bed as we watched the national news.

"Sometimes watching the news really depresses me," I submitted as I flipped through channel after channel detailing wars, car accidents, robberies and hate crimes. "Why doesn't the media ever report on something nice happening? Like someone found money and turned it in? Or someone donated a kidney to a stranger?"

Edward shook his head, a lock of copper falling into his eyes, and laughed softly before stuffing a large slice of French toast into his mouth. Call me crazy, but even watching him chew his food turned me on. _This girl's got it bad._

"If it isn't sexy, it's not news," he quipped, his tongue darting out to catch some syrup that had escaped.

"Speaking of sexy…," I said suggestively, putting the remnants of my eggs on the room service cart. On my hands and knees I crawled toward him, licking my lips as images of his naked form flickered across my mind's eye. Edward swallowed his French toast with some effort, his expression one of incredulity.

"Bella, how could you possibly want more?" Nervously he ran his fingers through his hair, but still put his plate on the nightstand as I reached him. With nowhere to go -- he was leaning against the headboard -- I had him trapped. He inhaled a ragged breath as my tongue traced a path from his navel up his chest, to both nipples and then to his collar bones, neck and jaw. When I reached his mouth, I took his lower lip between mine and then sucked on it gently. _Maple syrup and strawberries. Yum._

"How could I _not _want more?" I asked him with a smirk. "I can't help myself when it comes to you."

Edward swiftly flipped me over so that he was hovering over me and his hands pinned my arms to the mattress. With mischief in his eyes, he quickly discarded my tank top and undies and kicked off his boxer briefs.

"Close your eyes," he said, his voice like velvet. With a moan I did as he asked.

With the tips of his fingers, he played my body like I imagined he played the piano. Edward's hands fluttered over me, committing each one of my curves, each freckle and every inch of skin to memory. He tormented me with his lips, tongue and hands until I thought I might lose consciousness. And then he made me his once more.

_Damn._

****************

Tuesday morning began the same way as the day before. And again I tried, with zeal, to stick to my plan and act less like a lovesick puppy. _Ugh. Completely useless. _Any reflection on my behavior during the last twenty-four hours left a pit in my stomach, so I focused on each small effort, every habit that was part of my morning ritual. Hair pulled into a tight bun. Stockings smoothed and seams perfectly straight. Suit pressed and neat.

_Edward's hands._

_ Edward's mouth._

_ Edward's tongue._

_ Edward's body._

In a feeble attempt to refocus, I began my ritual once more, smoothing my hair, pulling up my stockings, running my fingers over my skirt and suit jacket. It didn't do a damn thing to help my nerves _or_ my concentration. _Well, let's get this over with._

After collecting my things, I closed the door behind me and walked the three strides to Edward's door and knocked. Cheerfully he greeted me and quickly pulled me into his room for a "proper good morning kiss." If he was nervous about his presentation he didn't show it, and I couldn't help but envy his bravado. These days I seemed to lack the gumption to stick to the smallest of my convictions. _See Exhibit One._

"You ready? If we leave now we can grab some breakfast inside the convention center," I offered after he stood me back up.

"Good morning to you, too, Bella," Edward replied sarcastically with a smirk that tempted me to kiss him once more. Once he saw, however, that I was truly eager to leave he said, "Well, I'm ready, so let's go."

Over our quick breakfast we went over his presentation for that morning, and it appeared as though Edward was completely prepared; of course, I'd expect nothing less from him, despite all of the _distractions_ from the previous day. And night. _Focus woman!_ As we walked into the large hall for the morning welcome Edward's hand briefly brushed mine and a smile and blush automatically raced across my skin. I cast a sideways glance at him and saw that he too was smiling, though his eyes were trained at the doors ahead of us.

Edward was scheduled in the second morning session to give his presentation on Swan & Platte; as our advertising and marketing manager it made perfect sense that he would boast of all the ways S&P kept its clients happy in the 21st century. After all, it was the people and the technology that worked in perfect harmony at our firm. Companies -- and our competitors -- wanted to learn from us. Edward and I had committed many hours to presenting something that would be informative for the convention, but would keep an air of mystery around our success -- just the way I wanted it.

And Edward was perfect in his delivery; and the audience loved it _and_ him.

That evening we both manned our booth in the exhibit hall and thankfully Edward didn't try to distract me. The clock, however, taunted me with its nearly backwards movement. Silently I wondered what would happen this evening. Would we have dinner together? Could I invite him back to my room? Dutifully he and I had been sleeping in our respective beds, all under my guise of getting the requisite hours of sleep. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to bend a little tonight.

_Give all to love;  
Obey thy heart;  
Friends, kindred, days,  
Estate, good-fame,  
Plans, credit and the Muse,  
Nothing refuse._

In the middle of handing out some brochures and answering a young woman's question about whether we were currently hiring, I heard a voice that sent chills through me. And then a high-pitched breathy laugh that convinced me I was in hell. Choosing to wait and eavesdrop before busting up the devil's rouse, I stepped closer to the wall that separated Edward's side of the booth from my own.

"…hope it hasn't been too torturous for you working there," the female voice purred. "Trust me when I say that I've been there, and would never think less of anyone who walked away from a job at Swan & Platte."

Anxiously I waited to hear a reply or rebuttal from Edward.

_ Nothing._

"Mr. Cullen, we've watched you closely since you moved to Swan & Platte, and have been more than impressed," the soft male voice added. "And after seeing your presentation today, we'd like to make you an offer."

I had heard enough. Angrily -- and ready for a fight -- I marched to the other side of the booth and confronted the two people who were attempting to steal Edward from me. _From Swan & Platte, I mean._

"Aro. Tanya. Fancy meeting you two here," I seethed as I stood between them and Edward. The expression Edward wore suggested he knew nothing of the two conniving, nasty people in front of him, so I continued. "I should have known, Tanya, that you'd high-tail it to Aro. I think that firm _certainly_ suits you."

Tanya regarded me with a snicker of her own. She looked from me to Edward and back, a Cheshire cat grin contorting her beautiful face.

"Aro gives me the freedom to be creative and said I could be promoted to vice president of marketing and advertising very soon," she said, gazing admirably at the shriveled man standing next to her. "You never let me do any of that, and you certainly wouldn't have promoted me."

"Tanya, first of all, if you had an iota of common sense, you'd realize Aro is all talk. As long as you listen, he'll continue to fill your head with nonsense. Secondly, I only promote those who are deserving of it, and never led you to think that you had earned that distinction in such a short time. That's good business; it's not a case of being unfair."

While our exchange continued, Aro smiled smugly, fingering a large gold ring on his left hand, decorated in an elaborate crest with a large V in the middle. The sight of him -- shoulder-length gray hair slicked back, pin striped suit complete with pocket watch and fob, wing-tipped shoes, longer than socially acceptable fingernails -- was enough to make my blood boil. But knowing why he was speaking to Edward and then hearing his voice was enough to send me hurtling over the counter to strangle him.

"My dear Isabella, why such mistrust and disdain?" he cooed, his small black eyes boring into Edward. "This is business, and your boy here is so much more worthy of a larger firm. I could give him things that you and Esme could never offer. Benefits, retirement, corporate jets and cars, trips all over the world, fringe benefits that would curl his toes. The possibilities for someone of Mr. Cullen's caliber are endless. With you, he's restrained, suffocated."

At the risk of spitting at him, all I could do was keep my mouth shut, my hands balled into fists at my sides. Tanya stepped around me, taking advantage of my target lock on Aro, and dragged one long, red nail down the front of Edward's suit jacket.

"Edward, just think about what we've said," she said, her voice dripping with sex. "Aro -- and I, for that matter -- can offer you so much more than _she_ can -- in so many ways. Consider it, will you?"

As if Aro had cast some sort of spell over me, my body was frozen in place as his bony fingers extended a black business card with the same crest and V on it to Edward. Glancing nervously at me, and then back to Tanya and Aro, Edward took the card and offered a polite but weak smile. Then Aro focused again on me, and the hopelessness of a battle lost registered deep within me as he smiled his creepy old man grin.

"Isabella, my dear, we'll be seeing you soon," he nearly crooned, and then they were gone.

Suddenly I could feel my toes once more and I staggered back against the wall of the booth, exhausted. Words escaped me; panicked, I looked at Edward, who stood there flipping the business card over between his fingers. He seemed mesmerized by the whole thing, and it made me furious.

"So. What's the deal with Volturi Enterprises," he asked me softly. But I couldn't answer immediately. My mind was already racing with the prospect of losing Edward to Aro, Caius and Marcus…and now Tanya. It wasn't as if Aro hadn't tried this before; hell, he'd garnered a reputation in our industry for stealing souls and grooming the finest and _prettiest_ ad, marketing and PR execs for world domination.

Alright, so I was exaggerating a bit on the world domination, but the things Aro was capable of equated to something similar. And Tanya obviously had a personal vendetta against me, which was fine. There was no love lost; I had no regrets in her leaving. But seeing her with Aro was disturbing, and Tanya had made it quite clear that she wanted Edward in an extracurricular context -- which _really_ pissed me off.

"Bella, are you alright?"

Edward's voice brought me back to our current surroundings and I reflexively smoothed my hair before acknowledging him. _Pull it together. Tell him exactly what Aro and Volturi Enterprises is like. _

Though I spared him the kind of detailed disclosure that should only be accompanied by comfortable surroundings and multiple drinks -- some of the stories about Aro were shocking at best -- I told Edward about Volturi Enterprises, Aro, Caius and Marcus and then Tanya.

When I finished my semi-diatribe it dawned on me that while Edward would most likely never want to work for Aro and leave Swan & Platte, he had never outwardly declared his intentions beyond this week and the conference. Instantly I recalled the night he resigned and couldn't help the panic that resurfaced. Technically, he could still walk after this week. And, of course, if for some strange reason he wanted to pursue something more serious with me he'd have to leave. _Did he realize all of this? How could he? Was he even thinking the same way? _Probably not. Sure, he had professed that he wanted to see where "this" went, but did that only apply to our tryst this week?

After hour three-hour shift was up at the exhibit hall, we left the convention center in silence. My mind raced with wild and unreasonable inklings. Maybe Edward was surprised by my revelations; maybe he was planning his exit. I could only wonder, and that drove me crazy.

"So, what do you want to do for dinner," Edward offered hesitantly, no doubt sensing the mood had shifted between us. "Want to go out or order in?"

Struggling not to meet his gaze -- if I did, I'd be putty in his hands -- I studied my shoes as I spoke. We both stood awkwardly outside the hotel entrance, neither one of us wanting to talk further about what had happened before.

"Um, Edward, actually I think I'm just going to go up to my room," I said. "I'm not feeling well, and don't really feel much like eating." Half-heartedly, I offered a smile as I rifled through my bag. "Please use the company card if you'd like, and get yourself something to eat." Through his protests I forced the card into his hand and started to turn toward the doors.

"Sorry. Please get yourself some dinner, and I'll see you in the morning," I said, only looking at him long enough to offer him what I hoped was a more convincing smile. And then before he could say anything, I walked into the hotel lobby, leaving him on the sidewalk.

**********

The encounter with Aro left me feeling dirty. After my long shower, I dressed immediately in my PJs and climbed into bed, feeling truly sick and a bit sorry for myself. Taking advantage of the free time, I called Renee – who was at a baseball game watching Phil strike out – and then I placed a long-overdue call to Charlie.

"Hey Bells," he answered. I nearly burst into tears at the sound of his voice. It had been too long. "What's going on?"

"Hey Dad. I know it's been a while – sorry about that. I just wanted to call to say hi and to let you know that I'm alive and well."

We talked for a few minutes about Charlie's job, his latest fishing conquest and a friend, Sue Clearwater, who apparently cooked a mean stew. He sounded good, and happy, and it made me happy. I said my goodbye to him with the promise that I'd call him again soon.

Finally, when I couldn't avoid it any longer, I called Esme. She needed to know what had happened today.

"Hey Es, It's Bella," I said, realizing quickly that she was still at work. The clicking of keys and the quiet drone of the office building gave her away when she said hello. "Working late tonight? I thought that was my job."

"You know that when you go away on business trips without me, and take one of our most prized and productive employees with you, you force me to slave away here at the office for hours on end just trying to keep up," she quipped, and then laughed softly. Even if she was a bit overworked, I knew she'd never hold it against me. I did the same for her when she traveled without me.

"Es, I hate to do this to you while I'm here and you're still at work, but you need to know what's happening on this end," I began, and then heard an audible gasp at the other end of the phone. _Did she somehow already know about Aro?_ "Aro and Tanya came to visit Edward today."

I let the words sink in a bit, and when I heard Esme begin breathing again, I continued to tell her of the exchange. Retelling it forced me to admit my own shortcomings in handling the situation, but Esme assured me it sounded like I handled it well.

"B, it must've been horrible," she sympathized. "What Aro and Tanya did was dirty, under-handed and just plain unprofessional. But I think you diffused the situation as quickly as you could, and that's all you can do in a circumstance like that."

"So…Esme…do you think Aro's pitch might appeal to Edward," I asked, unsure of which answer I'd prefer at this point. Mentally I slapped myself; keeping Edward safe from Aro should be my primary objective.

"Well, Edward is an intelligent man, and although in the end it's his decision to make, I'm sure he at least saw Tanya's ploy a mile away," she said. Ashamedly, that revelation made me feel better. "Aro is a mastermind, I'll give him that. But Bella, I don't think we have any reason to worry right now that he'll be successful."

With my fears assuaged for the time being, I filled Esme in on the conference thus far and told her about Edward's overwhelming success today with his presentation. Honestly, I was quite proud of him and wasn't afraid to tell her.

"That's wonderful, hon," she enthused. "I had complete faith that he would help us to shine at the conference. I'm so glad he's with us." _Me too._ We said our goodbyes and I promised to keep Esme apprised of any other news from Chicago.

"Es, do me a favor and go home, okay?" I pleaded. "I'm sure you would much rather spend your evening with Carlisle than going through client files." Esme giggled, thanked me and said she would. Before she hung up, she paused.

"Bella? I'm proud of you, too. And I have complete faith in you."

Closing my phone, I pondered her comment, but assumed it was a work thing. With Esme, though, I could never be sure. There was always so much more under the surface, things that remained unspoken but deeply implied.

Now that I'd made my much-needed phone calls, and Esme had calmed my fears somewhat, my stomach seemed to awake and growled, angry at my choice to skip dinner with Edward. Knowing I wouldn't make it until morning on an empty stomach, I dressed and decided to go down the street to scrounge up a quick meal. Upon searching for my room key, I discovered it missing from my purse and hotel room. _Probably left it next door or dropped it in my travels._ I soon located the spare key card, though, and grabbed my coat. As I left my room I nearly tripped over something blocking my path and looked down to see what the dangerous roadblock could be.

A white paper bag sat in front of my door, with the following note attached:

Sorry you're not feeling well. I thought at some point you might be hungry.

I'll miss having you in my arms tonight. Rest, sleep well and feel better.

- E

I peeked inside the bag and found a deli sandwich, complete with pickle.

With an authentic smile – the first one I'd had all day – I went back inside my room and closed the door.

_Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself  
But if your love and must needs have desires,  
Let these be your desires:_

To melt and be like a running brook  
That sings its melody to the night.  
To know the pain of too much tenderness.  
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;  
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.  
To wake at dawn with a winged heart  
And give thanks for another day of loving;  
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;  
To return home at eventide with gratitude;  
And then to sleep with a prayer  
For the beloved in your heart  
And a song of praise upon your lips.

_A/N: The first excerpt is from "Give All to Love" by Ralph Waldo Emerson; the second poem in this chapter is "Let This be Your Desire" by Kahlil Gibran (gifted poet, in my opinion). So, what did you all think? Think Edward's going to be lured away by Aro and Tanya? Did Bella handle the situation as she should have? _

_Please leave reviews/comments! I love them like I love possessive Bella!_


	20. Chapter 20: Two roads diverged

_Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just decided it was time to shake things up a bit in her characters' world. And I wanted a bitchy Bella, so here we go! _

_Oh, and all of the references used in this story in relation to the advertising and marketing company and accounts are only used here for entertainment purposes; no copyright infringement intended._

_Thank you to the following people: Angelicwish, who has gone above and beyond the call of duty to provide this insecure writer with loads of feedback and as my stand-in beta; Lita for making me beautiful banners and being awesome in general; and last but certainly not least, to Jen – she makes me smile like good deli sandwiches with pickles! And thanks to all of you who read and profess your love for this story! I love you!_

_This is a long one, kids, so settle in._

**Chapter Twenty: Two roads diverged…**

As I ate my sandwich and pickle, I took the time to seriously reflect on my ridiculous -- and rather two-faced -- actions since we arrived in Chicago. I had told Edward that I was tired of fighting with him, tired of fighting my feelings for him; yet that's exactly what I was _still_ doing. It wasn't right, and it wasn't fair to either of us.

The conversation between Aro, Tanya, Edward and me had I guess forced some much-needed light on the issue. I was still being a horrible bitch to Edward -- a man I was developing serious feelings for, despite my own efforts at sabotage -- and I needed to change my attitude. There was too much at stake now.

If I continued on this path of destruction, I was certainly going to drive Edward away, both personally and professionally. There was the lingering dilemma of what he'd do at the end of this week, and now with Aro's offer thrown into the mix, I certainly wasn't doing Swan & Platte any favors by sticking to my Bitch Boss role.

_What is my fucking problem? Get over yourself, for once. _

The time for self-destruction, relationship sabotage and selfishness was long-since over, I decided. Edward's value was more than his position, a handful of clients and pride in the face of an adversary. _How stupid could I have been to ignore this fact for so long?_

_He means _so_ much more to me. He means the world to me. _

This man had remained by my side while I tried to make him despise me; he had tolerated the fighting and nasty comments, the avoidance and endless contradictions; he had rescued me in more ways than one, despite all that I am, and for some reason he still wanted to be where I was.

Edward was extremely loyal, caring, intelligent and considered the consequences _before_ he opened his mouth, unlike me. My actions toward him had been more pathetic than an overly melodramatic soap opera.

_Why couldn't I just let him in? Hasn't he proven himself? God only knows what he thinks of me. Would he even want me in the long-run? Even if we could find a way?_

"Oh shit." I nearly choked on my bite of sandwich.

I was in love with Edward Cullen.

After all of the mess I'd worked so hard to create.

_Oh shit._

_I do not love you as if you were a salt rose, or topaz  
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.  
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,  
in secret, between the shadow and the soul. _

I love you as the plant that never blooms  
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;  
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,  
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

************

Wednesday morning brought a new day and a new outlook on things; I had barely slept the night before, so I was dressed and ready much earlier than usual. Three times I almost went to knock on Edward's door; but then I told myself that since I had most likely been torturing him for the last three days, _I_ could suffer for a little longer.

Finally my nerves got the better of me, so I sent him a quick text just in case he was still sleeping. It was just after 5:30 a.m.

_**Edward – Thank u for the sandwich. It was so sweet of u. Are u awake?**_

Nervously I paced between my bedroom and the sitting room and waited. After what seemed like hours, my cell phone beeped from the nightstand and I almost tripped over my shoes reaching for it.

_**Yup, I'm up. What's wrong? U ok?**_

And then I practically ran over to his hotel room, knocking quietly but insistently until he came to the door. Edward looked so good standing in hotel room doorways. His hair, as usual, was sticking out in all directions and he had pulled on a pair of jeans, probably left in a heap on the floor given the amount of wrinkles present. His white cotton t-shirt was perfectly snug, but thankfully he was dressed.

"I'm so sorry to wake you Edward," I began. "Do you mind terribly if I come in?"

Sleepily he shook his head, and opened the door the remainder of the way so I could enter. As soon as I shut it behind me I threw my arms around his neck and plastered a most-heartfelt kiss on his lips. Initially I could feel the surprise in his stance as he instinctively returned my kiss, but then his body relaxed and his hands found my waist and squeezed as he pressed my body against his own.

"Woah. Guess you're feeling better. What was that for," he asked breathlessly when I broke our kiss. "Did you decide to beat me to it on the good morning kiss today?"

I couldn't help but chuckle at his adorable but incorrect guess.

"Not exactly," I said, kissing him again a few more times. "And yes, I'm feeling much better, thanks. I just wanted to thank you properly for the sandwich you left for me. It was so thoughtful and sweet. And I don't think I say 'thank you' nearly enough -- especially to you."

Edward affectionately rubbed my back as I spoke, only kindness reflected in his clear emerald eyes. Apparently my own vision had cleared as well -- the sandwich, the note, his reception of me so early in the morning, every gesture -- these were all things I loved about Edward. _Love. Edward._

"You're welcome, Bella," he said softly. "Though you certainly didn't have to make a special trip next door to tell me that. So…what's really on your mind?"

I wanted to tell him how I felt. I wanted to shout it, really. I wanted to stay with him all day, every day, locked in our own little world where it was just the two of us.

"Well, since the incident with Aro yesterday, I've been thinking a lot and I just want to tell you that I'm so thankful for you and all you've done for me…and Esme too, of course," I said. "Truthfully, I don't know what I'd do without you. But I also know that I'm not the only one who appreciates your talents. I would understand if you were tempted by Aro's offer, and I want you to be completely open with me about whether you feel it's something that holds any interest for you. I haven't consulted with Esme about this in particular, but I'm confident in telling you that if you would like to stay with Swan & Platte that there might be some room for negotiation."

Part of me couldn't believe I had just uttered those words. What was I offering him? Suddenly I had no idea. But my mind raced with the possibilities -- any possibilities -- that might keep Edward with us and out of Aro's slimy clutches. Esme would definitely agree with that concept.

"Wow," Edward said. "When I asked you what was on your mind, I had no idea it was all _that_. I've had some time to think as well and I'll admit that I did consider Aro's offer. I hope you won't be too offended, but I called him last night and we spoke for a short time about what exactly he was offering."

My breath caught in my throat and I was surprised by the stinging wetness that blurred my line of sight. Edward was going to leave me. Us. As I struggled not to cry, I silently prepared myself for his next words.

"So what he told me sounded amazing -- and too good to be true. So I did a little research and called a few contacts. It took a little digging, but I found what I was looking for," he said. I waited. "Bella, I know how twisted Aro is. And I learned all about Marcus and Caius. What they offered isn't worth my life and my soul. I honestly can't believe they've managed not to attract the FBI. They must have an amazing team of lawyers at their disposal. Not to mention a few mob bosses and police chiefs in their back pockets."

I let out the breath I'd been holding and wrapped my arms around Edward again in a fierce hug. He wasn't fooled by Aro and his minions; he was going to be safe.

"Thank God, Edward," I sighed. "I was so worried. You have no idea."

"Did you really think I'd leave?"

"I can't say that I would have blamed you at this point," I replied. "And in the end, I can't force you to stay. On the surface, Aro does make a compelling argument."

"Bella, first of all, I like my work at Swan & Platte. Second of all, I'm a deceptively tough guy. Yes, you infuriate me -- a lot -- and most of the time I have no idea what's going through that head of yours, but the thought of working for Aro makes my skin crawl. I told him 'no'."

When I smiled in relief, Edward held my face with his hands, and I shivered as his thumb traced a path along my jaw and across my lips. He smiled -- this time his eyes full of some masked emotion -- and kissed me deeply.

"Besides, there's no way in hell I'm going to work with Tanya," he said, shaking his head and watching me closely. I tried not to show my jealousy but I must have slipped, because Edward began to laugh moments later. He kissed my nose and pulled me closer to him so that my cheek was pressed against his chest. I inhaled deeply, enjoying the smell of him. "She's about as subtle as a Mack truck. She called me last night. Aro must have given her my cell number."

For the second time in ten minutes I was breathless. _Are you kidding me? _Tanya was making a play for Edward despite him having turned down Aro's offer. It was unbelievable, and totally Tanya. I was horrified, but only for a moment.

"I didn't answer the phone, Bella," Edward said, as if he knew exactly what I was thinking. "And when I get back to Seattle, I'm changing my number."

For a few minutes, Edward and I embraced and kissed, standing in his hotel room -- me in my suit and him in his rumpled jeans -- and it felt different. Perhaps I'd never really paid enough attention to how gentle and passionate Edward was with me. Maybe I hadn't wanted to see it.

"Edward, I hate to stop, but I think you need to get ready and then we have to get to the convention center," I said, kissing him lightly once more. It was already past six, and we still needed to get breakfast. I started to walk away from him but he caught my wrist and pulled me back.

"Bella, I want you to know -- I really care about you," he whispered, placing feathery kisses all over my face. "I don't know how you feel, but I really want to try to make this work beyond this week and whatever follows when we get back."

Momentarily stunned, I looked up at him, blinking, before I responded.

"Me too," I managed. _Awesome._ "I mean, I care deeply about you too Edward. And I really want this to work as well. Really, I do."

With that settled and the air clearer between us, Edward sat me on his bed while he showered. In order to distract myself from a wet and naked Edward, however, I ran to get us muffins and coffee and when I returned he was dressed and thankful for the sustenance. I went back to my room to brush my teeth and grab my things and then we left for the convention center.

On our ride over I could feel Edward's eyes on me, but whenever I'd catch him and ask, "What," he'd shrug and smile and say it was nothing. It was making me a bit paranoid…but then again, I secretly enjoyed it. As the commuter bus pulled up to the entrance and once everyone had filed out, Edward grasped my hand and turned my face to his with one long finger.

"Bella, everything will be fine today, okay," he said in a reassuring tone. I just nodded so he continued. "Aro and Tanya won't bother us again, and we can have dinner tonight after the exhibit shift if you'd like."

"I'd like that very much Edward," I said sincerely, squeezing his hand. With one reciprocal squeeze, he released my hand and let me lead us off the bus. The hall was crowded and noisy but we found our seats quickly and moments later the lights dimmed. Once I felt certain no one would see, I ran my fingers over Edward's thigh to the inside of his leg and let them rest there briefly. Immediately the muscles in his leg tensed and I looked up to see him staring at me, his expression almost pained. Slowly, I removed my hand, but held his gaze.

I wanted to tell Edward how I felt so badly; that it was more than simply caring about him. But this was neither the time nor the place, so I turned my attention to the front of the room and the speaker. The electricity between us was constant throughout the morning, and it only served to heighten my awareness of Edward and what we might be doing that evening.

_Work first. Then play_, I reminded myself.

The day dragged on for me, and I couldn't help but wonder if Edward felt remotely the same. During lunch I ducked outside to make a quick phone call to Esme, both to check in with her and to tell her of my offer to Edward. Given the situation and additional information about Aro, Esme agreed and I told her we'd meet first thing on Monday to discuss the options. I told her I'd be checking out the city later in the week.

"And Esme? You were right – about everything," I said, hoping she would understand what I was implying. The other end was silent; I could only imagine her expression on the other side. "We'll discuss it when I get back, but until then I'll be in touch if the need arises. Thanks again."

"Of course, B," she said softly, having regained her voice. "I'm…so glad. And yes, that's fine. We'll talk when you and Edward return." Again there was silence, and I fought the urge to gush everything to her like a silly school girl. It could wait.

"Ok, Esme, well then I'll talk to you soon and see you at the concert, right?"

"Right! Oh yes! Wonderful! Bye!"

With a sense of hope for the future, I walked back through the doors to the convention center and spied Edward waiting for me outside the dining room. His eyes nervously darted around him until he spotted me, and then it seemed like his whole demeanor changed and his body relaxed.

"Hey, I was wondering where you went," he said as I approached. We fell into a synchronized pace as we walked back toward the hall for the afternoon sessions. "Everything alright?"

"Yes, everything is fine Edward," I said. "Great, in fact. I wanted to give Esme a quick ring to bring her up to speed on something and discuss some other business."

If Edward was curious about our conversation he didn't let on, and as we entered the hall I felt his fingertips at the small of my back. We took our seats and I turned to him before the session began. He seemed uneasy.

"Edward, are _you_ alright? You seem…worried," I offered. He furrowed his brow for just a moment, and I noticed a small dimple-like indentation above his left brow, only visible now. _I don't know how I could have missed that._

"Oh, I'm okay," he answered. "I'm just looking forward to the end of this day, more so than usual. Don't you agree?"

"Mmmm, definitely," I admitted, blushing. Edward caught the flush of my skin that time, the lights not doing me any kindness.

The afternoon dragged on as the morning had and I could barely sit still. A few times Edward and I caught each other fidgeting or squirming, and when we did we'd laugh quietly at the ridiculousness of the situation. I rolled my eyes when I realized we still had a three-hour booth shift in the exhibit hall ahead of us. _How the hell am I going to make it through that?_

Luckily activity at our booth was frantic and the two of us were occupied by visitors and interested potential clients who had been invited into the hall for that evening. If it weren't for the idea of what waited for me after, I would have enjoyed myself completely. As the crowds dwindled and the night wound to a close, I slipped out of my heels to tidy up and give my feet a break.

"I see a foot massage in your immediate future," came a voice from behind me. I nearly slumped to the floor as Edward's strong hands began kneading my shoulders. "Wow, Bella, you are a ball of knotted muscles. I'm going to need to assess your whole body later. We _can't_ have this."

_Yes, please. Assess me. Full body, preferably naked, evaluation._

"Promise?"

In answer, Edward turned me to him and kissed me slowly but firmly. I felt myself melting and wondered if I'd be up to the task of anything but falling asleep later. Hopefully after a meal, I'd be able to revive myself. It was that important to me.

"Come on, let's get back to the hotel," Edward said, taking my hand and my briefcase for me. "We need to get you a nice relaxing bath, and I'll order room service. We can watch an 80s movie after I give you a massage."

_OhmyGod. I love you._

True to his word, when we got back to the hotel, Edward drew me a bath in my suite, and then slowly undressed me as I sat like a lump on my bed. In any other circumstance it would have been sexual, but Edward was so tender, carefully folding each item once he removed it, massaging my legs as he pulled off my stockings, rubbing my feet once they were free of my heels. He pulled the pins out of my hair and ran his fingers through my tresses as they fell, still twisted, over my shoulder. Once I was undressed he wrapped me in a robe and carried me to the tub, sitting me on the edge.

After rolling up the sleeves of his striped blue and white work shirt he tested the water temperature and slipped the robe off. Slowly I eased myself into the tub, exhaling as I submerged my tired, aching body.

"Thank you so much Edward," I murmured. "No one has ever drawn me a bath before. You're too good to me."

Opening my eyes, I found Edward sitting on the toilet seat facing me. He stood up, kissed my forehead, and put a towel where he'd been sitting.

"You're welcome," he said. Sadness distorted his beautiful features for a second. "I'm so sorry that you've never been taken care of. You are certainly worthy of it. Everyone deserves to be adored and cared for. I'm going to go next door and change and then I'll call for some room service. You stay here and relax. I'll be back shortly."

I twisted my hair up and off my neck and then leaned back and closed my eyes again. Soon after the door to my suite clicked shut, I must have dozed off.

_Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,  
And sorry I could not travel both  
And be one traveler, long I stood  
And looked down one as far as I could  
To where it bent in the undergrowth. _

Then took the other, as just as fair,  
And having perhaps the better claim,  
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;  
Though as for that the passing there  
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay  
In leaves no step had trodden black.  
Oh, I kept the first for another day!  
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,  
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh  
Somewhere ages and ages hence:  
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--  
I took the one less traveled by,  
And that has made all the difference.

The click of the hotel door shutting woke me with a start, and I realized my skin was pruned and the bathwater chilled. For a moment, I panicked.

"Edward? Are you there?"

His bronze mop became visible before his glorious face, and instinctively I smiled with the reassurance that he had not disappeared. He had changed into jeans and a dark grey thermal. _Yum._

"I'm here. You ready to get out?"

Edward repeated the same loving tasks in reverse order, wrapping me in a towel and painstakingly drying every inch of my skin. Then he wrapped me again in the robe and insisted on carrying me back into the suite.

"You're like a limp noodle Bella," he reasoned. "Bedroom or sitting room for dinner and a movie?"

We opted for the sitting room for dinner. Edward proudly laid out the feast he had gathered for us: Chinese and sodas. Chinese was my weakness. _Edward too._ We ate in comfortable silence, and the food did wonders for my body and mind. After dinner Edward gave me the choice of a movie first or his special massage. I chose the massage, of course.

After leading me back to the bedroom, Edward arranged some towels across the bed and pulled a bottle of massage lotion from his back pocket. He was so adorable and proud of his plan that my stomach did little flips as I arranged myself across the bed, lying on my stomach, completely naked. I couldn't help but chuckle when I felt him cover me with another towel.

"I'll never get through your massage if you're completely naked under me, Bella," he offered in explanation, and I just smiled. Slowly and with sure hands, Edward worked out every kinked muscle from my neck down to my lower back. He took special care of my shoulders, hands, fingers and spine as he moved further. The warmth of his talented fingers further relaxed me and I drifted in and out of consciousness.

"Mmmm….Edward you have amazing fingers," I murmured. Edward's weight over me shifted and his breath tickled my ear as he replied.

"Why thank you, Bella," he whispered. "I'm so glad that you enjoy them. I live to serve." Sleepily I giggled at this last comment, as I felt the towel move off my bottom. The cold was quickly replaced by warmth as his hands kneaded my flesh and I couldn't help the moan that escaped. It felt so damn good; I had no idea.

"Bella, you're not helping me concentrate here," Edward said from behind me. His hands, however, did not stop their advance and I exhaled nosily when he reached the intersection of my ass and upper thighs. _I had no idea how tense my ass was. He is a god with magical hands. Figures he'd give good massage too. _Edward continued down my thighs, lifting my legs so he could reach around to the front to get the muscles there. I was so turned on and at the same time relaxed. When he reached my feet, I knew I was in heaven, and moaned again as he pressed his thumbs into the arch of one foot. He squeezed each toe and when he was done with that foot I felt his lips press into the skin at my ankle.

"You are an angel, sent to me by some really forgiving god, aren't you," I mumbled, one side of my face still against the towels. It came out as more of a slur than I expected. I felt the towel over me again and the bed give as Edward stood. Moments later he crouched in front of me, his fingers now working on my scalp. I closed my eyes to enjoy the sensation.

"You're really tired, aren't you," I heard him say softly. I shook my head as rigorously as I could; he needed to understand.

"I'm serious, Edward," I insisted. "I don't deserve you. I don't deserve any of this. Monsters like me don't deserve happiness and people like you."

Edward's lips brushed my forehead and the backs of his knuckles skimmed my cheek as he shushed me.

"Bella, first of all, you are not a monster," he said. When I began to argue, he silenced me with a finger over my lips. "Second of all, I think you _do_ deserve happiness, and love and all of the things that apparently you think you are unworthy of receiving." When I shook my head -- ever the stubborn mare -- Edward pulled me off the bed, wrapped me in my robe and sat me in front of him.

"No, Bella, I want you to listen. This is important," he said. My heart broke into a gallop. "No one is beyond redemption. We all have good and evil in us, and I think sometimes we stray off the path, get a bit lost. And what we need is for someone to guide us back to where we should be.

"This is what life is -- a long, often difficult, hopefully rewarding journey," Edward continued, and all I could do was gaze at him in astonishment. "We all make mistakes, but that's why it's best not to go it all alone. Friends help us, _love_ helps us. You don't have to be alone, and you don't have to be frightened."

The words he spoke were more meaningful than any others I'd ever heard before. This man -- who I loved -- was telling me that he forgave me; that he thought I was worth it; that he knew there was much more than the façade, and that I didn't have to do any of this alone. But it was my choice, and for that I loved him even more. And I needed to tell him. The fear, however, had taken up residence in my heart long ago, and wouldn't be easily squashed.

"Edward, I…I don't know what to say," I croaked as my eyes filled with tears. "No one has ever said anything like that to me." His hands rubbed my sides in a soothing gesture, which only caused the tears to spill faster. "You are a wonderful man. If I merit redemption, then you are most definitely my personal angel. And I am one incredibly lucky lady."

It only scratched the surface of the murky depths of my feelings for Edward, but it would have to come in pieces. I decided that each day I'd tell him something, so that he never left me not knowing how I felt. It was the least I owed him.

Edward wiped my tears with the pads of his thumbs, and leaned in to kiss me in reply to my declaration. I grasped his face with both hands and held him to me as closely as possible, though he was still kneeling on the floor between my legs. We kissed like that for a few minutes, simply needing the close contact. Finally, Edward gave me a peck on the nose and suggested I get comfortable for the movie. Emotionally exhausted, I agreed and changed into my flannel PJs while he removed the towels and then scrolled through the movie selections on TV. Once we'd agreed on a movie -- Funny Farm -- Edward pulled back the covers and I climbed in.

With him resting against the headboard on propped up pillows, I settled against his chest and placed my hand over his heart. Edward wrapped his arm around me and kissed the top of my head. The steady thumping rhythm of his pulse quickly lulled me to sleep again; I don't even think I made it to the part with the lost moving van.

It was dark in the room and a gentle movement woke me up. Edward was standing over me, pulling the blankets up; the TV was off and only the light from the hall illuminated his form.

"I'm going to go to my room Bella," he whispered. "It's okay. Go back to sleep."

"No! Edward, please stay with me tonight," I practically begged, reaching for him in the dark. "Please don't go." He paused only for a moment, but then pulled his shirt over his head and unbuttoned his jeans. Clad in only his boxers, he slid into bed and I immediately arranged myself in the same position: head on his chest and my hand over his heart. I draped one leg over his and felt his hand slide down my thigh and stay there. His other hand ran through my hair.

"Thank you for staying Edward," I whispered, and reached up to kiss him.

"You're welcome. Wouldn't want to be anywhere else," he answered, returning the kiss.

_I love you, Edward._

I was asleep again within minutes.

_A/N: So, Bella made a lot of progress this chapter, don't you think? This was a real turning point for her, and I think she made the right decision. I, for one, am so proud of her! And oh my goodness, I think I've fallen in love with Edward even more too! He always knows just what to say._

_The first excerpt was from Love Sonnet XVII by Pablo Neruda and the second poem is, obviously, The Road not Taken by Robert Frost. He's another of my favorites and I've always loved this poem. At some points when I've read it, I've interpreted it as strictly inspiration and a challenge to not take the easy way out. But at its core, it's a statement about life and that every inevitable choice leads to an unanticipated outcome. We can never be sure of where any road will lead, unless we take it and live it. So it was appropriate here for a multitude of reasons._

_Thank you everyone, and please leave comments/reviews. I love them like hot baths and relaxing massages! Next chapter will be so damn good – promise! _

_(It's already written in my head.)_


	21. Chapter 21: Confession

_Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just decided it was time to shake things up a bit in her characters' world. And I wanted a bitchy Bella, so here we go! _

_Oh, and all of the references used in this story in relation to the advertising and marketing company and accounts are only used here for entertainment purposes; no copyright infringement intended._

_Thank you to the following people: Angelicwish, who has gone above and beyond the call of duty to provide this insecure writer with loads of feedback, advice and now beta services; and to Jen, who always gives me awesome comments when I send her chapters! And thanks to all of you who read and profess your love for this story! I love you! I was going to take you to Edward, but I think the next part needs to come from Bella. After the last chapter, I think we need a little more, don't you? More of what you ask? Read and find out. _

_Oh, and one more thing before I leave you to it: I know there are a lot of you lurking out there, reading (thank you!) but not reviewing. I've begged and pleaded, so now it's time to bring out the big guns. To solicit more reviews from you lurkers, I will be offering a special prize at the end of this chapter. So read on and see the A/N at the end for more!_

**Chapter Twenty-one: Confession**

Once again, there was the darkness, the foreboding, the running and the crying. First Sam then James and then Paul, all as usual and all on-time. These had been the men in my life--up until this point--who had all broken my heart and made me feel used up and worthless. They were the reason for my wall.

And then someone new entered my dream world. In the clearing--in a meadow, it seemed--Edward walked through the woods and stood at the other end, silent and still. He was beautiful and perfect, and his copper hair shone in the sunlight as it poked through the trees. The scene was breathtaking, and I gasped as he smiled at me from across the expanse. I tried to yell for him, to let him know I was coming to him, but my voice was only breath. Panicked, I waved my arms frantically as I began running through the tall grass and wildflowers. For all my running, though, I wasn't making any progress and Edward still stood so far from me. Still motionless with a smile.

"Edward!" I screamed in my head. "I'm coming! Please don't go!"

Slowly he turned away from me as I continued to run and finally my voice erupted from my throat. I cried out for him as I ran, crying, yelling and tripping when my tears blurred my vision.

"Edward, wait! Please don't leave me! Where are you going?"

When I reached the other edge of the meadow, he was gone, and I ran into the woods beyond to find him. Surely he couldn't have vanished. It seemed like I searched for hours, whimpering, sniffling and stumbling, only to realize that Edward was not there. He was gone. Defeated and broken-hearted once more, I fell to the forest floor, curling into a ball and sobbing. How could he just leave? What did I do?

Gradually I became aware of an echo, a voice calling my name, and then it rang in my ears with perfect clarity.

"Bella! I'm here! Please wake up."

Startled awake, I opened my teary eyes to find Edward--the real one--rocking me, his expression frantic. Through my hiccupping I exhaled loudly and threw my arms around his neck, burying my face there.

"Shh, it's okay Bella. I'm here and I'm not going to leave," he said quietly, over and over. "I'm right here."

In order to assure myself that he was real, I scooted over so that I was straddling his lap, my arms still wrapped around him and my face pressed against the steady pulse in his neck. I took a deep breath and inhaled him; he felt very real.

"That was h-horrible," I sobbed, kissing his hot skin. "I've never had a n-nightmare like that before. They were all there--Sam, James and Paul--but then you were there too, and you disappeared. You left me. I couldn't reach y-you. You l-left."

A new assault of tears spilled over as I relived the horrible dream, but Edward rubbed my back and continued to rock me. He kissed my ear, my hair, any part he could reach and then pulled my head back so that our eyes met. Although it was still dark in the room, my eyes had adjusted and I could see the concern in his dark emerald stare.

"Bella, honey, it's okay now. It was a bad dream and now it's over," he said. "How can I convince you that I'm not going anywhere?"

"I...I don't know," I answered. "I'm so scared of losing you. Like at any moment you're going to come to your senses and disappear." My admission sent another stream of tears down my cheeks. _I can't lose you. I love you too much._ I took a deep breath and decided it was now or never. If I didn't say something, I would lose him.

"Bella, I'm yours until you send me away," he said, before I could speak again. "My life and yours are connected. Can't you see that? Can't you feel it?"

It was altogether too much to absorb in my current state. The words tumbled out of my mouth of their own accord, as if the floodgates had finally been opened. The last meager reinforcement of my wall tumbled with them.

"Edward, I love you."

I could have sworn my heart stopped as I waited for a reply. And then Edward exhaled and his lips found mine. Cradling my face in his hands, he wiped my tears and then pulled me against him. His kiss was passionate and slow, with a steadily building fire behind it. As he gently pushed his tongue into my mouth, I grabbed a fistful of his hair and tugged. I needed to be closer to him--regardless of what happened in the aftermath of my confession. Then Edward broke our kiss.

"I love you too, Bella," he said, his voice husky with emotion. "When you walked into my life, everything I thought I knew--it changed."

This time I initiated the kiss, and Edward began working on the buttons of my flannel PJ top. Once it was open, he eased it off my shoulders, kissing my collarbone, shoulders and chest as he removed it. He leaned me back onto the bed and pressed his chest against mine as he kissed my neck and caressed my arms. Edward then sat up and let his fingers graze my skin as he moved down to my PJ bottoms. After placing a kiss just below my belly button, he pulled off my pants.

Lying there in just my underwear, I watched as Edward gazed at me in appreciation of what was displayed for only him. His dark eyes met my own and there was so much love there it was nearly too much. This time, though, I didn't panic or shy away from him.

"Edward, I've been so stubborn, so stupid," I managed as his tongue began a path from my neck down to my breasts. I gasped when he circled my nipple and then took it into his mouth.

"Shh…no more regrets," he said, before moving to the other breast. His tongue on my goose-bumped skin silenced me for the time being and my hands ran through his hair, down his neck and across his shoulders and back as he kissed my stomach. Hooking two fingers into my underwear, Edward placed a feathery kiss on each side of my hips before slipping off the lace. As he did this he removed his own underwear and returned to me, pressing the weight of his body against me. It was divine.

For a while, we simply kissed, enjoying the sensation of bare skin on skin, of our heavy breathing, the way our lips met and our tongues played. My hands wandered all over his body--from his hair and then down to his perfect ass--while his worshiped me in the same fashion. This time I was willing to ignore my burning need for Edward, content to savor every inch of him before we came together. He seemed to be thinking the same thing.

"Bella, you're so beautiful," he murmured into my neck, as his fingers skimmed my sides. He rolled us so that I was on top of him and his hands found my backside. "God, I wanted you for so long. Did you know that?"

I smiled with the recognition that I hadn't been the only one resisting. _Edward had wanted me too. It wasn't just me._

"Mmmm…I remember your first day at the office," I purred as he squeezed my ass. "I'd never seen someone more beautiful than you, Edward. And then you opened your mouth and…"

He cut me off with a kiss, and I swiftly lost my train of thought. _God help me, I love this man so much it hurts. _After he rolled me onto my back again, I wrapped my arms and legs around him, clinging for dear life, unable to get close enough. My lips pressed against his so hard it made me wince, but I didn't care. Nothing, from this moment on, would be wasted.

"Bella, I need you," Edward said in that velvety voice--the one that always made me weak--and I nodded frantically and smashed my lips to his again as he pressed his body against mine. When he started to pull away from me I whimpered, but then his face was close to mine again as he smoothed my hair.

"Edward, I'm on the pill," I whispered, not wanting to ruin the moment. "And I trust you. Please, I need to feel you."

He kissed me softly, tenderly, before he replied.

"Thank you for trusting me, Bella. We can talk more about this later, of course, but I wanted you to know…before we met I hadn't been with anyone in three years. And prior to that I got tested for everything, just as a precaution."

It was all I needed to hear; hell, at that moment I wasn't exactly thinking rationally. Thankfully, Edward was. His disclosure prompted me to share something that was probably blaringly obvious to him at this point.

"Edward, I…um, well I haven't been with anyone since Paul," I admitted sheepishly, looking anywhere but at him. "And that was in college. And after…that night…I got tested too."

Edward brought my face back to his, nodded and kissed me again as if nothing had changed, though I imagined that news of my more than 10-year run of celibacy unnerved him a bit. _Damn, it's been a long time._

"Is it…um, does it bother you that I haven't been with anyone in a long time?"

"Are you kidding," he exclaimed, pulling us into a sitting position. _Damn it, B. You just ruined the mood!_ "Absolutely not! How could that be a bad thing? I reap all the benefits of your sexual starvation anyways you know." In the dark I could see the change in his features as a smirk tugged up the corner of his mouth. Slowly I pushed Edward until he was lying on his back and then I straddled him again, my own smirk matching his.

"Yes, you do," I said simply. And then I kissed him hard, knowing nothing had been lost due to our conversation. Our bodies quickly responded, and I took Edward in my hand and guided myself over him. Being with him was so amazing. Everything else just floated away. And this time when I took him inside me, it was even better than before; it was almost too much for my brain and body to comprehend.

"Oh God, Bella," Edward said in a rush as the air left his lungs. "You…I feel…this…" Obviously, words escaped him. I knew the feeling.

"I know," I whispered as I rocked over him, anchoring myself with my hands on his shoulders. "I know."

_I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.  
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;  
So I love you because I know no other way_

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,  
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,  
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

For seconds, minutes, hours or days--I had no concept of real time--we shut out the real world and focused only on each other. He took and I gave him all of me. I took all that he gave me in return. Sex with Edward had been mind-blowing from the start, but this time I was unprepared for the onslaught of emotions that accompanied the act.

Edward's hands held my face inches from his own, and I couldn't restrain the tears that rolled down my cheeks and dripped onto his chest as he whispered his love for me over and over again. This man was not like Sam or James or Paul. He was so different. How could I not give him everything I had?

"Bella, what's wrong honey," Edward's worried voice brought me back to him and our moment. "Talk to me." He slowed my movements but did not shift me off him, and I ran my fingers through his hair and managed a smile.

"It's nothing, really. I'm just a mess. You're just…a little too good to be true."

He laughed, kissed me and then looked up at the ceiling, shaking his head.

"Silly Bella, I assure you I am nowhere near perfect," he said. "I'm possessive, a picky bastard, and I have a temper. I never clean up after myself and my fridge at home is filled with old takeout leftovers because I hate food shopping. Feel better now?"

"Well, you know I'm nowhere in the vicinity of perfect, either, so this sort of levels the playing field," I joked. "And a temper? Aren't I the one here with the temper?"

Edward chuckled at my attempt at comedy and rolled us over. He could no doubt see that there was much more I wanted to say, and took decisive action to prevent it.

"No more talking from you--unless it's screaming my name," he said in his best sexy voice. That certainly got my attention. "Now shut up for once and kiss me. You spend far too much time up here," he said, lightly tapping my temple. I complied and then as he started moving over me, I fulfilled his other demand. Multiple times.

As we lay in bed--me with my hand resting over Edward's heart and his arm around me--I replayed our earlier declaration and couldn't quiet the butterflies in my stomach and the quickening of my pulse. _Edward loves me. And I finally told him how I feel. _

"You awake Edward?"

"Mmm-hmm."

"What are we going to do when we get back to Seattle? We're leaving in less than two days." Leave it to me to ruin post-coital bliss. _Shut up for once woman!_

"Not sure, Bella," he answered quietly. "We'll figure something out. The important thing is that we love each other and we're going to make this work. Right?"

"Of course," I said, but my mind was already cranking out the multiple realities of our relationship. This wasn't anything new, but now that we'd admitted the depth of our affections, it brought a new heaviness to our return. "We love each other and that's what matters."

Apparently satisfied with my response, and confident he'd defused the situation, Edward began rubbing circles against my shoulder blade. Within minutes his fingers stilled, and I knew he was asleep. I listened to his steady, slow heartbeat, reveling in his strong embrace, and tried to only think happy thoughts.

_We loved each other. That's all we needed, right? Surely the Beatles had stumbled upon something there – all you need is love. Then again, it's just a damn song._

*************

My morning wakeup call was not appreciated after the crappy night's sleep, and Edward groaned and rolled over as I set the handset back on its cradle.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you," I whispered, kissing him on the nose. "I'm going to jump in shower, okay?" Edward mumbled a reply and buried his head under his pillow, so I slipped out of bed. _Edward is also not a morning person._ It made me smile.

The shower felt good and I used the time to get refocused on the day. It was Thursday--one more evening of working the booth, and one more night at the hotel. Tomorrow afternoon we'd be flying back to Seattle. And back to reality.

As I rinsed the conditioner from my hair, I felt a blast of cold air and then a pair of warm arms wrap around my torso. After wiping the soap away I opened my eyes to find a tall, naked, sleepy man before me. The shower spray pushed his darkened hair against his forehead, while the rest of the copper bird's nest stuck out in all directions. I couldn't stifle the giggle that slipped from my lips as I assessed him.

"What's so funny?" he sputtered through the water dripping down his face. He kissed me, getting the rest of his head wet, and his hands slid down to grab my ass. "Good morning to you too."

"Your hair," I said. "It looked so funny, half-wet and half-sticking up. It was adorable. And good morning."

"Adorable? I come in here to seduce you in the shower and you call me adorable? Bella, that is a serious blow to a man's ego, you know." Then with a smirk he spun me around so my back was against the wall of the shower, facing away from the spray. He jerked my leg up, hooked it around his hip and licked his lips. _Damn._ "Luckily, I'm not easily emasculated."

Thank goodness I'm an early riser. By the time we got out of the shower, we had just enough time to get dressed and run to catch the charter to the convention center. I even skipped my usual bun in favor of leaving my hair down and passed on my stockings. As we sat in silence, Edward rubbed the top of my hand with his pinkie. If it weren't for my growling stomach I might have enjoyed the gesture a bit more. Besides, my mind was resting comfortably in the gutter, thanks to our morning shower.

"Are you hungry," Edward whispered. I looked at him with one brow quirked, convinced he was propositioning me for some more convention center sex. "If you want when we get to McCormick Place, I'll run and get us breakfast and you can find our seats." _Damn. Guess not. It's just you and your dirty mind at this party._

"Sounds good," I said, smiling appreciatively. I wouldn't make it through the first session without a decent breakfast muffin at least. "I can't afford to skip breakfast. Thank you." I had an overwhelming urge to kiss him, but restrained myself.

I quickly found us seats and Edward soon returned with coffees and blueberry muffins. We ate quickly and then took notes during the morning session. As usual, my eyes wandered often to Edward, though I tried my best to be sly about it. Running my fingers through my hair, I'd turn my head just a bit. _Caught me that time._ A little while later, I'd uncross and cross my legs and look at him out of the corner of my eye. _Damn, foiled again!_ Leaning down to appear focused on writing notes, I'd steal another glance. _Damn it! It's like he's anticipating my every move! _All I could think about was him, our shower that morning, the night before…this was getting ridiculous. Strike that, it was already _at_ ridiculous.

It wasn't Edward's fault that I had so little self-control. _Man, he looks edible in that navy blue suit. And the white shirt. Gah. _Why was I the only one completely unhinged here? This time I didn't try to hide my stare; Edward seemed transfixed by the speaker and I was convinced it took him five minutes to even realize I was looking at him. Calmly he met my gaze, smiled and then turned his attention back to the front of the room. _Argh! _I narrowed my eyes in defiance of his nonchalance. _Oh, two can play at this, Mr. Cullen._

First, I slowly took off my charcoal grey suit jacket, exposing the elegant but low-cut black silk tank underneath. I'd had the suit and top tailored to fit me like a glove, of which I was extremely thankful at this moment. I watched for any signs of life next to me. He put his pen down and turned his head a bit. _Excellent._ Then, feigning heatstroke--though highly unlikely in this air-conditioned hall--I leaned back and gathered my hair and twisted it up, revealing my neck. The move was as good as two: the gesture forced my breasts out and I knew Edward loved my hair. Then I waited, fanning myself occasionally. _Fingers loosening the tie, and then running through the mess on his head._ _Perfect._ I had his attention. Just for good measure, I sighed just loud enough for Edward to hear, licked my lips and started sucking on my pen. I distinctly heard a low curse and Edward started bouncing his leg frantically, as if he wanted to bolt from the room. I bit my lip to keep from grinning. _Victory._

I checked my watch: 11:30; almost time for the afternoon break and lunch. Suddenly my brain, which was already residing comfortably in the gutter, had another brilliant idea.

"Hmm….my legs are cramping from sitting still for so long," I whined in a whisper, and reached down, running my fingers from my ankle, up my calf, over my knee and along my thigh. I heard Edward choke and then clear his throat, but I didn't dare look at him. Then I felt his nose brush my cheek.

"What are you trying to do exactly," he asked, his voice straining to stay at a whisper. His breath moved the strands around my face and tickled me. It sent a shiver down my spine. Still, I couldn't look at what I knew would be a very hungry stare.

"Nothing, Edward," I managed, swallowing hard. "I think I need to stretch. I'm going to the ladies room. I'll be right back." As I stood I rested my hand on Edward's thigh, just for a moment, and then walked quickly out of the hall. The ladies room was tucked away in an alcove on the main floor, next to a coat closet and men's room. Upon close inspection I realized two of the three rooms were empty. So I decided to wait.

Edward, as always, did not disappoint me. He found me standing outside the coat closet and pushed me into the room before I had time to explain myself. His mouth was on mine in an instant and his hands gripped my ass, lifting me off my feet. As he put me down, he bunched my skirt around my waist and I unbuckled his belt and unzipped his pants.

"I swear, woman, you are an unstoppable force," Edward growled into my ear, before sucking on my earlobe. I answered by pulling down my underwear and stepping out of it. He gruffly picked me up again and wrapped my legs around his waist, slipping inside me.

"Edward…I just…had to be with you…again," I panted as he thrust hard and fast. "Not sure this…was a good…idea. What if someone wants to…hang up a coat?"

"Oh, don't worry about that," he said with a grunt. "They're all still listening to the speaker and besides…I am perfectly capable of a quickie."

This time, thankfully, I had something to hold onto and grabbed a coat rack to brace myself as Edward proved himself in the art of quickies. As my breathing got louder, his hand clamped over my mouth. It was just in time; my muffled cry as I climaxed surely would have worried anyone passing by the coat room. Edward followed moments later, dropping into a squat from the exertion. We sat there--me on his lap and him with his pants at his ankles--for a moment, catching our breath.

"Edward, you are amazing," I said with a sigh. "I can't believe I lured you into a coat closet for sex."

"Thanks love, but I was the one who pushed you in here," he said with a smirk. "Although I will give you full credit for the seduction part. Damn, woman. You were driving me nuts!"

We untangled ourselves and reassembled our clothes. A quick check of my watch showed that it wasn't yet noon. As I reached into my pocket for my undies, Edward's hand was on mine.

"No. I'm going to keep these for the rest of the day," he said, his emerald eyes blazing. "As a reminder to both of us…" _Holy shit. _This was going to be a long day. I could only nod in agreement; I stuffed the flimsy fabric into Edward's inside vest pocket and gave it a pat. With one more kiss, we went our separate ways. I dashed into the ladies room to freshen up and calm my flushed skin. With one more check of my wardrobe, now minus my underwear, I walked back to the hall just as the speaker was announcing lunch. _Edward had my underwear!_

As I sat in my seat, Edward's fingers skimmed the bare skin above my knee. Our eyes met and I smiled; Edward responded with the crooked smile that I had grown to love so much. That smile was all I needed. _Besides him._

"Hi," I said.

"Hi," he replied.

We were oblivious to the crowd filing out for lunch. We weren't hungry.

_A/N: Okay gang, so how did I do? Are we on sex overload here? Or is it just enough? I wanted to convey their burning desire for each other, especially post-I love you. And Bella and Edward are both aware that this "fun" ends when they return to Seattle. They haven't figured any of it out yet, so they're making the most of the trip. The poem excerpt was the rest of Love Sonnet XVII by Pablo Neruda. Love it. No copyright infringement intended._

_Remember to let me know if you'd like to discuss the poems used in my chapters._

_And please leave reviews. You know I love them…like shower sex…and convention center sex…_

_Now for the reward. When I reach 550 reviews, I will write a one-shot of epic lemony proportions…and I will let YOU choose the topic. Leave your suggestion along with your review, and let your imagination run wild! _


	22. Chapter 22: Reality check

_Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just decided it was time to shake things up a bit in her characters' world. And I wanted a bitchy Bella, so here we go! _

_Oh, and all of the references used in this story in relation to the advertising and marketing company and accounts are only used here for entertainment purposes; no copyright infringement intended._

_Thank you to the following people: Angelicwish, who has gone above and beyond the call of duty to provide this insecure writer with loads of feedback, advice, beta services and great conversations; and to Jen, who always gives me awesome comments when I send her chapters! And thanks to all of you who read and profess your love for this story! I love you! _

_And thanks so much to Latchkey Wife, who was kind enough to pimp out this story on her bloggy blog. Go check it out – Ramblings of a Latchkey Wife. She makes me laugh my ass off on a regular basis. __.com/_

_Follow me on Twitter people! LauraLoo77_

_Now we're going to hear from Edward – finally!_

_**Oh, and one more thing before I leave you to it: I know there are a lot of you lurking out there, reading (thank you!) but not reviewing. I've begged and pleaded, so now it's time to bring out the big guns. To solicit more reviews from you lurkers, I will be offering a special prize at the end of this chapter. So read on and see the A/N at the end for more!**_

**Chapter Twenty-two: Reality check**

**EPOV**

The past few days had been such a shock to my system: Bella had opened up her mind, her heart and her body to me, and I had gorged myself on what she gave like a glutton. But I'd given her all of me in the process. The tiny, recessed, cerebral part of my brain only hoped that it wouldn't backfire on me. At the moment, though, I wasn't thinking about what could go wrong. I was too busy enjoying all that was right.

Was I being stupid? Possibly. But, damn it, I was going to enjoy these moments -- however many we might have together -- for all that they were worth.

I had no delusions about Bella; I knew she was a mess and I knew that if we did manage to keep our relationship intact, that it would be difficult. _Understatement of the year. _She was difficult. And a pain in my ass. And I was stubborn. But damn, to see her smile; to hear her laugh; to feel her lips and hands on me; and to watch her face in sheer ecstasy -- I was convinced that was worth it.

Thursday night, after Bella and I worked that damned booth for the last time -- _ah, the memories I will forever associate with conventions_ -- we headed out for a late dinner downtown. While she was in the ladies' room, I took stock of what had transpired since Sunday.

_Sex with Bella. Lots of it. Hot and sweet and passionate as hell. And that damn red top and those jeans – she undid me with that outfit. And she was currently walking around sans panties._

Even after the two of us finally waved the white flag in the face of our mutual desire, Bella was still a mystery; she'd be standoffish one moment and in the next a woman on fire. It wasn't unusual for her, but it was always difficult for me to know which Bella would greet me. It was frankly fucking exhausting. Honestly, if I hadn't gotten lengthy glimpses at the real woman behind the bitchy façade, I would have kept my damned distance. As it was, however, I couldn't stand to be separated from her. _She's like my own personal brand of heroin. Shit._

Of course, this made our week difficult. One more than one occasion Bella voiced her desire to sleep alone. I'd be lying if I claimed it didn't wound my pride, especially when I pulled out all the stops and broke out the Shakespeare. No luck. And I knew Bella was still suffering from her nightmares; the night I heard her it took every ounce of will I had not to bang on her door and help her get back to sleep.

Despite our discussions and revelations, I knew there was a part of her that she kept locked away. I could feel it constantly; when I touched her, when our bodies came together, and even when we just talked. It was maddening. Even with my best efforts to coax her out of her shell, to be patient with her and to let her lead, she still wasn't completely mine.

She might never be, I realized.

Automatically, my brain skipped back to the sex. _Call it a defense mechanism; I don't give a shit._ Sex at the convention center -- twice. All of our hotel room activities had been fucking hot and mind-blowing. The first time I discovered what Bella wore under the suit, it nearly blew my damn mind. Garters. Thigh-high stockings. The heels and the lace underwear. I groaned as I sat in the restaurant getting hard. _Think of something else._

Aro and Tanya. Involuntarily I shivered at the mental image of the old, slimy bastard and his protégé. Truthfully, I'd given his offer some thought. It was an ideal offer, and it also very conveniently solved the problem of Bella and me working together as a couple. After doing a little research, however, the seemingly golden offer tarnished. Tanya's brazen phone call was the last nail in the proverbial coffin. And I told Bella as much.

"Hey. You too tired for dinner out?" Bella's voice jarred me back to the present, and I shook my head and smiled. She sat down and refilled her wine glass.

"No, I'm good," I answered lightly, reaching for her hand across the table. "Just spacing out a little and thinking about this week. It's really flown, hasn't it?"

She looked at me, her gaze was suddenly far away, obviously lost in her own thoughts. I silently hoped her reflections were good ones; that she wasn't going to punish herself for the last week.

"It sure has," she said. "Wow. I can't believe we leave tomorrow."

We were both silent for a few minutes, too occupied by the weight of the words she'd just spoken. _How are we going to go back and pretend like we're the same two people who came to Chicago last weekend? Impossible._

"Edward, I've been thinking…," Bella began and instinctively my stomach clenched. "About us and what happens when we go back to work on Monday."

I knew this was coming. _Fuck._

"And…?"

"Well, I was thinking that maybe you should take Aro's offer."

I nearly fell out of my damn chair.

"What?! How could you suggest such a thing, after our encounter with them and knowing what kind of person Aro is," I exclaimed. "How can you even _entertain_ it?"

"I know it sounds insane, Edward, but just hear me out," she said, her voice pleading. "Please know that I love you. I'm trying to think of you -- and of us -- and I just don't know how we can merge our personal relationship with our working one. I mean, Edward, I'm your boss. What kind of example would I be setting if everyone discovered you and I were together?"

Rendered momentarily speechless, I only blinked at her.

"Edward, consider your career," she said. "If I made you a partner or even gave you a lesser promotion, everyone would allege favoritism and we'd both be scrutinized. I can't defend doing that to you or to Esme. Our reputations are all on the line here."

"What do you want me to say Bella? What kind of options do I have? Don't I get to have a say here?" My mind raced as I schemed to concoct any scenario that would include Bella and me together and me _not_ working for Aro. "I appreciate you thinking of our careers, but have you considered our _feelings_ in any of this," I asked. The desperation in my voice surprised me. _Get your shit together man._

"Of course I have Edward," she whispered, her eyes glistening in the low light of the restaurant. "God, it's all I can do to not fall apart at the idea of you _not_ being with me every day. I'm trying to be rational about this, and I just think you should consider Aro's offer. It's a great opportunity -- better pay, lots of perks and a stepping stone -- and of course it would only be transitory. I'm sure another firm would quickly snatch you up once you were established for a short time there."

_She's already made up her mind. _

But I wasn't going to surrender that easily.

"What about Tanya?"

I watched as her eyes darkened and narrowed and she worked her lips into a determined semi-pout. It took all of my strength not to kiss her right there and take her back to the hotel. _I love jealous Bella. Focus dickhead._

"What about her, Edward? Haven't you already declined her…invitations…as well?"

"Of course," I said, already regretting what I was about to say. "But if I'm working with her every day, she won't be easily deterred. She was…rather…persistent when she called me the other night."

Bella knew I was playing dirty; but I didn't appreciate her making decisions for us without my input. This wasn't just about two individuals anymore.

"Fine. Forget I ever mentioned it," she said sourly.

The rest of our meal was rather quiet, for which I felt partially responsible. After dinner, Bella paid with the credit card and then suggested we take a walk around the city for a while. Unwilling to let our disagreement be the last discussion of the evening, I agreed.

For a while we walked silently. I wanted to ask Bella why we were rambling around the city on a bitterly cold evening but her body language was just as icy, so I waited. She'd speak when she was ready; that much I'd learned.

"I'm sorry Edward," she began finally. "I didn't mean to make the decision for you. I was just trying to help, and I really can't formulate another strategy. It's been on my mind all week."

I stopped our progress along the river and grabbed her hand and squeezed it. I knew exactly how she felt.

"Bella, I know. It's been on my mind too," I admitted as I pulled her closer. "I love you, and I want us to be together. But working for Aro -- it's too high of a price. I can find another firm if it comes to that; I will not leave Swan & Platte for Aro and _Tanya_."

As I pulled her against my chest and kissed her hair, I felt her sigh deeply and relax into me.

"Edward, it's not fair of me to send you out into the wilderness to fend for yourself," she said, chuckling at her own choice of words. "I feel like this is my fault on so many levels."

Embracing her, I laughed because I knew there was nothing that could be done about that. She and Esme had hired _me_ and if anyone walked away, it would have to be me. I just wasn't willing to do that yet, even if I had a great offer from a competing firm. Swan & Platte was a perfect fit, and I'd built a rapport with my clients that had taken time and effort. _Why does this have to be so damn difficult? If only we'd been able to stay away from each other…_ But I quickly shoved that thought aside. I wouldn't have traded any of it.

"Bella, honey, stop talking nonsense," I said affectionately. "I'm a big boy and I can handle myself in the 'wilderness,' just so you know. We both took this path of our own free will, and I can't very well fire _you_ for insubordination, now can I?"

The last part was a joke, of course. Apparently it was lost on Bella, though. She looked up at me with those wide brown eyes and as the tears threatened to spill, I stifled my guffaws.

"Edward, it's not funny," she sniffed. "I wish you would take this seriously. Our relationship is at stake and you're making jokes."

"Bella, please don't cry. I was only trying to lighten the mood," I said. "Let's not agonize about this anymore tonight, please? We'll sleep on it. Maybe I'll have an epiphany."

With the hour growing late and the wind picking up, we made our way back to the hotel and went inside. Although there had been no resolution to our problem, I was confident I'd think of something. And in the meantime, couldn't we both act professionally about this? I thought so.

"Your room or mine?"

Bella's question as we walked down the hall toward our rooms brought a grin to my face. Inwardly I pumped my fist and shouted, "Yes!" when I realized she wasn't going to try the martyr thing tonight. _God, I love this woman._

"God, I love you Bella."

"Love you too," she said with a smile, her eyes sparkling. "Now, your room or mine?"

"Yours. It's nicer."

************

An hour later, we lay in bed, tangled in the sheets and each other's naked bodies. Bella rested her head against my bare chest as I absentmindedly flipped through the channels on TV, my fingers running through her hair. For some reason, this simple act -- her pressed against me and the comfortable silence, aside from the news -- was calming. It felt right. _I could get used to this. Us. _My heart swelled with the notion, and I smiled.

Bella fell asleep quickly that night, though I stayed awake for a while, just watching her sleep. Again I was struck by how peaceful she looked -- almost angelic, even -- when she was at her most vulnerable. Then she'd sigh or moan and I'd have to restrain myself from waking her.

_God help me, this woman has complete control over me. Damn. Never thought I'd say that, even to myself. I wonder if this is how Jasper and Carlisle feel about their relationships. _I protectively curled myself against Bella's back and was soon asleep. Neither of us was plagued by Bella's nightmares that night.

Friday morning came much too quickly, and I groaned and rolled over as the phone rang for Bella's wakeup call. I felt a light kiss on my shoulder and the mattress give as Bella stood and audibly yawned. Moments later the bathroom door closed and I opened one eye to assess the status of the sunrise. _Nothing. Ugh._ Apparently our last day in Chicago was going to be a cloudy one -- cloudy with a 60 percent chance of snow, according to the weatherman. _Great._

When Bella emerged from the bathroom and after one of my proper good morning kisses, I went back to my room to shower, dress and pack so that we'd be ready to leave directly from the convention center at noon. Our flight was at two, and it would give us just enough time to get back to Seattle and get ready for the U2 concert.

Our final session dragged, most likely because I struggled to even pay partial attention to the speakers. My mind kept jumping back to our conversation last night. I hadn't devised a proper solution to our situation, but I was still adamant about avoiding Aro and Tanya.

As the last speaker thanked us all for attending and contributing, I glanced over at Bella, who was sitting beside me like she was frozen to her seat. The lights came up and people stood to gather their things, but she made no move. Hell, she didn't even blink.

"Pssst. Bella. You ready to go?"

"What? Oh, yeah…sorry," she stammered. I waited while she put away her notepad and pen and gathered her briefcase, and helped her into her coat before we walked out of the hall, luggage in-tow. There was a flurry of activity outside the convention center so we had to wait for a few moments to hail a cab. As people bustled by and the snow eddied in little tornadoes around us, I felt Bella's little finger link around my pinkie, and I glanced at her. While her gaze was cast down at the sidewalk, the smile, I knew, was for me alone.

Once in the cab, she rested her head on my shoulder and her hand on my thigh. Suddenly I couldn't wait to get back to Seattle. My brain began swirling with visions of us naked on my bed, on my couch, in my shower. I stifled a groan as Bella settled against me. She didn't speak a word all the way to the airport.

Somewhere over South Dakota, my patience and resolve to let her work out her thoughts disintegrated.

"Bella, I am aware that I ask you this way too often, but is everything alright? You haven't spoken a word since we left the convention center."

She sighed heavily, like the weight of the damn world was on her shoulders, and met my concerned gaze with an expression much too closely resembling resignation.

"You know, you do ask me that question much too often," she said with a small smile, in an obvious attempt at deflection. "You need to stop worrying so much. I'm fine."

I felt the bile rising in my throat. She was lying through her damn teeth.

What else could I say to her? We'd discussed this and if she wasn't willing to let me in, there was nothing I could do to force her. The lack of control pissed me right the fuck off. I took a few deep breaths to clear the flash of red from my vision and told myself that it would be fine. _We'll relax and have a great time at the concert tonight, and we'll take it a day at a time. Like everyone else does._

_Yeah, just keep telling yourself that, asshole._

**************

"So, I'll see you later then?"

Bella and I stood at the baggage claim area, waiting for our luggage to come around the carousel. Her body language was all awkwardness and stress, and it was making me angry, confused and desperate. _Fuck._

"Yeah, sure," I said flatly. "Carlisle and Jasper and I will meet you outside at eight. You're getting a ride with Alice, Esme, Rosalie and Emmett, right?"

She nodded.

"Isn't that going to be a bit crowded," I asked. "Want me to pick you up? Carlisle has room for one more in his truck, if you'd like to ride with us." _Please give me something, Bella. Don't disappear on me. Not now._

"Thanks for the offer, Edward. Really," she said sincerely. "But Alice has demanded that she inspect my concert attire before I leave the house, and that means Rose and Emmett are coming over too." Then she laughed and I was able to push the panic a bit further down into my gut. "Save yourself. I'll see you out front at eight. I'll be the girl wearing red -- I think." And just like that, she was back.

With a devilish grin -- she obviously knew I had a weakness for that color -- she stood on her toes and kissed me passionately. It was the first time she'd kissed me since that morning, and the electric shock that I had grown accustomed to felt momentarily foreign. I pulled her into my embrace, unwilling to stop for the sake of luggage and a concert. After a few moments, though, Bella broke our kiss. She looked over just in time to see our suitcases on the belt and ran over to grab hers. I allowed mine to make another loop; I'd get it when it came around again.

"See you later tonight, handsome," she said when she returned. With another kiss, she walked away from me. I stood there frozen like an ass for a few moments, before I turned toward her retreating form.

"Hey Bella!" I yelled. She turned with an expectant and shocked look on her face. "It was a great week, wasn't it?"

Blushing, she bit her lip and nodded. Then she waved and turned back to the exit. I pulled my suitcase off the belt and made my way outside, my mind conflicted.

This was clearly not going to go well. But at least we had tonight and a whole weekend to spend with each other, free of work and all of the shit that would come with Monday. And I was going to make it count, damn it.

****************

"Hey man, how was the Windy City?"

Jasper's drawl was a welcomed sound as I smiled into my phone, pulling into my driveway. _Home sweet home._ I managed to unlock my door and pull my suitcase inside before dropping my cell onto the kitchen floor.

"Sorry J, didn't meant to drop you," I said. "It was good. Shit, it was _really_ good. Bella -- God, J she's fucking amazing. I…uh…"

As my words jammed on my tongue like a 40-car pileup, I heard Jasper's lilting laughter from the other end of my phone and realized how ridiculous I sounded.

"Jasper, is it like this with you and Alice? I can't fucking think straight, man," I complained. "She's got me all tangled up, for shit's sake." Again, there was only laughter on the other end. _I'm going to pummel him when I see him._

"Yep, that's what good love'll do to ya," he said. "Alice is everything to me. And I assume I'm correct in sayin' that Bella's everything to you now. Right? So I take it you took my advice and let the lady lead ya. Good boy!"

"You know it. J, just get your honky-tonk ass over here," I retorted. "Carlisle will be here around 7:15."

We said goodbye and I ran upstairs to shower and shave. Most diehard U2 fans wore their best fan t-shirts to the shows, but I wanted to look nice for Bella. _I am such a chick._ I threw on dark blue jeans and a black thermal, slipped my wallet in my front pocket and ran my fingers through my hair -- not that it did any good. I pulled a beer from the fridge and sat down to flip through my 800 TV channels. Minutes later Jasper's pickup headlights shone in my front window, and when he knocked I yelled for him to come in.

"It's open."

"Heya EC. You good'n relaxed man?" Jasper asked, assessing me and the half-empty beer. He quirked an eyebrow at me, smiled a shit-eating grin, and asked if he could help himself to a beer. I nodded, still flipping channels and heading toward number 600. _Why did I need all of these?_

"So…good times in Chicago?" Jasper asked, walking into the living room with two beers. He was fishing for something, and immediately I grew suspicious.

"Yeah, like I said, J," I answered. Narrowing my eyes, I added, "Okay, spill it you hillbilly. What did Alice tell you? You know something!"

"Aww, come on now! I'm innocent as a newborn babe," he swore, laughing and holding up his hands like he was surrendering. "And don't look at me like that man. I swear Alice hasn't spoken to Bella since last weekend! Not that she hasn't tried like hell to get her on the horn. I swear that woman of mine subsists on gossip."

I couldn't avoid laughing at that. Jasper, dating a gossip hound. When I was finished snickering, I saw that my friend was still eyeing me like the cat that ate the canary. _What the fuck?_

"Alright, enough with the eyebrow, Whitlock! What do you want to know? Did Bella and I make up? Yup. Did we have sex? Yup. Lots. Did I have a good week? Yup. Best so far. Do I have feelings for her? Yup. Definitely. Does that cover it?"

Jasper smiled and took a leisurely swig of his beer before answering my barrage of questions and answers.

"Are you two a thing now," he asked. _Of course he'd ask me the one question I really didn't have an answer to._ "And are you plannin' to continue your relationship now that you're back?"

"Damn, J, you're really into this feeling/relationship bullshit, aren't you," I teased. "Maybe you should have been a high school guidance counselor or something, instead of some super secret government agent."

"Edward, I study relationships and body language, which certainly has practical applications aside from work," he said, silencing my digs. "And somethin' tells me you're feelin' more than post-weeklong-coital bliss here. Did you tell her you're in love with her?"

Leave it to Jasper to cut to the quick of the issue – again. I'm in love with my boss, and after a week of pouring our hearts out and hot, passionate sex, I still had no idea what I was doing, or if Bella was on the same page as me.

"Actually, she said it first," I admitted. "But yes. I told her I loved her too."

A knock on the door announced Carlisle's arrival, and Jasper ushered him in with a beer and a handshake. Soon the three of us were discussing my relationship with Bella. It was clear that we were all smitten with our women, so I knew I was in good company on that front, at least. Not that it was helping me much to keep their spotlight off me.

"Have you two discussed the ground rules for returning to work on Monday," Carlisle asked. "That's certainly a situation that requires some decorum." _No shit._

"Not really," I began. When my older brother attempted to interrupt, possibly to lecture me on the finer points of navigating office romances with aplomb, I held up my hand and continued. "But I know it's another conversation we need to have and I planned to discuss it with her this weekend. Preferably over wine, dinner and relaxing on the couch. We've had so many conversations, you guys. I think we're both exhausted. This hasn't been easy at all, and we're only just getting started."

In a departure from his usually serious demeanor, Carlisle began humming the beginning of "We've Only Just Begun," and I swatted him on the back of the head like our old man used to. It broke the somber mood in the room, for which I was grateful. We finished our beers and decided we needed to get going to make it to Seattle Center in time to meet the others.

After piling into Carlisle's Land Rover, Jasper apparently decided he wasn't finished with me.

"Edward, man, I just wanna let you know that whatever happens, Alice and I will be there to support you -- both of you. 'Kay?"

"Um, sure. Yeah, of course. Thanks man."

As we made our way to the concert, I tried to ignore the growing pit in my stomach.

"_Whatever happens…"_

_A/N: Uh-oh. Gang, don't worry. I'm not going to go all unnecessarily emo on you now. Just have faith and hang in there. It'll be worth it. Since Edward had too much catching up to do, I think I'll keep him around for a little while. Besides, I enjoy his copious swearing._

_**Now for the reward. When I reach 550 reviews, I will write a one-shot of epic lemony proportions…and I will let YOU choose the topic. Leave your suggestion along with your review, and let your imagination run wild! **_

_Please leave comments and reviews! I love them like U2! Now on to the concert we go!_


	23. Chapter 23: With or Without You

_Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just decided it was time to shake things up a bit in her characters' world. And I wanted a bitchy Bella, so here we go! _

_Oh, and all of the references used in this story in relation to the advertising and marketing company and accounts are only used here for entertainment purposes; no copyright infringement intended. Portions of U2 songs used in this chapter are also used for the enjoyment of readers; no copyright infringement intended._

_Thank you to the following people: Angelicwish, who has gone above and beyond the call of duty to provide this insecure writer with loads of feedback, advice, beta services and great conversations; and to Jen – I'm so glad we reconnected! Love you! _

_And thanks so much to Latchkey Wife, who was kind enough to pimp out this story on her bloggy blog. Go check it out – Ramblings of a Latchkey Wife. She makes me laugh my ass off on a regular basis._

_.com/_

_Follow me on Twitter people! LauraLoo77_

_Things are gonna get hot at the concert – hold onto your britches, bitches!_

_**Oh, and one more thing before I leave you to it: I know there are a lot of you lurking out there, reading (thank you!) but not reviewing. I've begged and pleaded, so now it's time to bring out the big guns. To solicit more reviews from you lurkers, I will be offering a special prize at the end of this chapter. So read on and see the A/N at the end for more!**_

**Chapter Twenty-three:** **With or without you**

_**EPOV**_

After parking, the three of us walked across to meet up with the rest of our "entourage" for the evening. It was unseasonably warm for a night in late October and I delighted in not having to wear a coat. Entering the crosswalk, I made the mistake of looking up, and my eyes locked on the slender brunette in blue. She winked at me from across the street and I swear to God, my heart jumped into my throat.

Bella was a fucking vision -- _in blue --_ my new favorite color. Her slim, long legs were wrapped in dark jeans so tight I was sure she couldn't possibly fit another article of clothing under them. This information, of course, registered immediately in my dick. She wore a draping dark blue top that seemed to be clinging for dear life to her shoulders. If she shifted slightly, one side would slip onto the creamy skin below, exposing an additional sliver of flesh below her collar bones.

_Oh please let me take that off her later. Please._ She was wearing flat shoes and her hair was done in loose curls that cascaded over her shoulders and down her back. I saved her face for last, and was dumbstruck once more. Her ivory skin, accented with freckles across her nose, those big brown eyes and the pouty pink lips called to me like nothing else.

As she watched me approach she smiled and bit her lip, and I tripped over the edge of the sidewalk. _Shit._ I did not fancy myself a klutz by nature.

"Uh, easy there, son," Jasper taunted. I glared at him menacingly, knowing full well that at least he and Bella had witnessed the effects of her power over me.

We reached the group, and after Carlisle had greeted Esme with a kiss, I said hello and gave her a hug. It was good to see her again. As soon as I had released Esme, Alice practically launched herself at me, much like a little sister would I imagine, and pulled me into a fierce hug. _She's strong for a little pixie._

"Edward, it's so good to see you again," she exclaimed. "We're so glad you and Bella were able to make it back in time for the concert. This is going to be a great night -- I just _know_ it!"

I said hello to Rosalie and she introduced me to her boyfriend Emmett -- more of a bear than a man, actually.

"Edward Cullen, this is Emmett McCarty," she said. "Emmett, Edward works with Esme and Bella at S&P. He's their ad and marketing manager, right?"

"Yup," I said, impressed that she knew that. "And this," I said to Emmett, gesturing to the other two with me, "is my brother Carlisle and my buddy Jasper Whitlock."

Everyone shook hands and talked for a few minutes about their respective jobs and how we were all connected. After those introductions, Rosalie suggested we make our way inside.

"Emmett, thanks so much for the ticket," I said sincerely, clapping him on the back. "I've wanted to see these guys in concert for years!"

"Hey, sure dude, no problem," Emmett said, grinning. "Happy to do it. None of the other guys could make this concert, so I was glad to take 'em off their hands! Who knew that sports agents had lives outside of work, eh?"

As Bella walked past me I reached for her hand and pulled her back to me, away from the others. I waited until the others reached the doors and then turned back to Bella. With my hands, I held her face close to mine and kissed her deeply. It had only been a few hours since we'd parted at the airport, but it seemed longer. Her lips felt like home. She sighed into my mouth and pressed herself even closer.

"Good evening Ms. Swan," I crooned, deliberately lowering my voice. "You look absolutely ravishing. I do believe this is my new favorite color. Aside from your delectable blush, that is." Gently I traced my finger along her jaw, down her neck and across her collarbone. I stopped above the soft skin of her breast and whispered in her ear, "You look good enough to eat." And then, just to emphasize my point, I bit down on her earlobe.

She whimpered at my words and my touch and I felt her momentarily go limp in my arms. My body was a live wire as I held her, and I cursed myself for driving us both crazy just before a three-hour concert.

"Come on beautiful," I said, kissing her on the forehead and then pulling her toward the entrance. "The others are waiting for us. And Bono too."

We were ushered to our front row seats quickly, despite the throngs of people, and I couldn't help but be fucking stoked at my luck; we were sitting in the front row, just behind the metal bars that separated all of us from the stage and U2. _This is fucking awesome._

"Dude, this is awesome!" Emmett's exclamation verbalized my thoughts, and the rest of our gang uttered sentiments of appreciation to Emmett, our new personal hero. Bella was vibrating with excitement beside me, and I wrapped my arm around her waist, glad that very moment to be with all of these people, and her especially.

We all talked and laughed for a while over the crowd noise, until the lights dimmed and the music began. The band started with a rousing rendition of "Sunday Bloody Sunday," one of my favorites, and immediately all of us were shouting, jumping and dancing. Bono and the boys were electric and the eight of us watched with fascination and incredulity as he bounced all over the elaborate stage like he was still in his twenties. _Phenomenal. _My eyes wandered often to Bella, standing beside me totally engrossed in the aging rockers and apparently impervious to my stare.

To my left, Emmett whooped and clapped in admiration as Rosalie stood with a smirk across her face. For a moment I was puzzled by the expression, until I watched Emmett jump as her fingers took a hard handful of his ass and squeezed. His meaty arms swooped down to her rear and picked her up, and as they laughed and kissed I looked away, focusing on my brother.

He and Esme stood together, his arms wrapped around her with her back against his chest. They were gently swaying with the music, and Carlisle's head was bent to Esme's ear in a private conversation. She smiled as he spoke and then she turned and kissed him. The two of them were so obviously head over heels and perfect for each other. I sighed as a momentary pang of jealousy hit me. _They didn't have to worry about people finding out. They didn't have anything to hide._ In an effort to distract myself, I shifted my gaze to the remaining couple.

Jasper and Alice were…I guess you could call it dancing. Alice was twirling herself around my friend, holding his hand in hers over their heads. I caught Jasper's eye and couldn't help myself from grinning at him. _What the hell have you gotten yourself into Whitlock?_ He shrugged his shoulders as if he knew what I was thinking, grinned back and dipped Alice backwards. His kiss successfully quashed her squeals of delight. With a chuckle, I turned my attention back to the woman beside me.

Watching Bella sway her hips slightly, in time with the music, enthralled with the show mere feet from her was such a damn turn-on. And later, when the beginning strains of "Beautiful Day" began, she squeezed her eyes shut and threw her hands up over her head in a pure, unfettered celebration. I thought my heart might explode from my chest at the sight of her. At that moment, she seemed completely happy, at peace, unrestrained and wild.

"_Touch me. Take me to that other place. Teach me. I know I'm not a hopeless case." _

I could only hear her singing because of our proximity, and it didn't matter one bit that it was horribly off-key. My feet closed the small space between us and I crushed her against me in a fast kiss, effectively cutting off her duet with Bono. One hand kept her pressed against me while the other sought out skin and heat and Bella. Her hands, meanwhile, wound around the bottom of my shirt, her little fists pushing against my sides. I couldn't tell if she was hanging on or upset with the public display of affection. _Oops. Didn't really consider that._

"Bella, I'm…I'm sorry, I…" I began after breaking off the kiss. Her hands stayed tangled in my shirt as I moved to put distance between us, inwardly cursing myself for not thinking. _Stupid. Asshole. But then again, fuck it. It was completely worth it. Didn't everyone already know anyways? _Jasper and Carlisle obviously did; would I be a fool for assuming Bella had told Esme, Rose and Alice? _Well, if they didn't know, they do now. Shit. She's gonna castrate me._

Her finger on my lips abruptly muted my internal dialog.

"Shh. Edward, get behind me. Closer," she practically ordered. My dick nearly broke through my zipper and I struggled to check my body's reaction to her lowered voice. _More like a purr, actually._ Numbly I moved so that I was standing behind her, though I didn't know what she wanted. My hands hung limply at my sides as I debated what might be happening here.

Bella reached behind her and pulled me to her so that our bodies were touching -- close but not obnoxiously so -- and took my hand in hers. She continued to move with the music and for the rest of the song I just stood there, a bit dumbfounded by her gesture and her willingness to let me see her, and for everyone else to see us, like this. Then I rested my other hand on her shoulder so that I moved slightly along with her.

Then the familiar keyboard effects, the steady bass and The Edge's Infinite Guitar echoes elicited an appreciative roar from the arena, and from the eight fans in the front row. As the troubled love song began, hastily I pressed my body against Bella's, not giving a shit about who saw us. The longing and the heartache in the song drove me as I wrapped one arm around her waist and lifted the curtain of mahogany hair off her back with the other.

_See the stone set in your eyes_

_See the thorn twist in your side._

_I wait for you._

_Slight of hand and twist of fate_

_On a bed of nails she makes me wait._

_And I wait without you._

In the kaleidoscope of concert lighting I discovered that Bella's back was exposed by the low drape of her top. The fabric hung below where her bra strap would normally be, and her shoulder blades and gentle slope of her spine were a work of art displayed for only me.

_With or without you_

_With or without you._

_Through the storm we reach the shore_

_You gave it all but I want more._

_And I'm waiting for you._

Moving her hair over her shoulder, I focused my attention on the side that was exposed and slipped off the flimsy fabric, revealing more creamy skin. I heard Bella gasp as she realized what I was doing. To assuage her anxiety I kissed her shoulder and then began working my way up her neck.

"God, Bella, you are so fucking sexy," I murmured into her ear when I reached it. Gently I sucked at the skin behind her ear and then bit down on her earlobe, prompting her to whimper. Her hair shielded her face and acted as a bit of a screen from the others to our left. I used my body to shield her other side from any prying eyes, though I seriously doubted anyone was paying attention.

_With or without you_

_With or without you._

_I can't live_

_With or without you._

My fingers moved from her bare shoulder across her chest, dipping below the edge of the fabric and along the slope of her breasts as I refocused my efforts on kissing her neck. Bella sighed and then I felt her fingers dig into my thigh, anchoring my body against hers, as her other arm wound around my neck. She no doubt could feel how much this excited me.

"OhgodEdward," she rushed out in a sigh. With her arm still around my neck, Bella twisted her torso and captured my mouth in a hard kiss. My restraint all but gone, my hips rocked against her rear as we kissed, and she moaned into my mouth as she felt me.

_And you give yourself away_

_And you give yourself away_

_And you give, and you give,_

_And you give yourself away._

Seeking more friction, I grasped Bella's hips and began moving our bodies together, slowly and in time with the song. In the darkness it looked like we were dancing; meanwhile it was all I could do not to take her right there in the arena. Her back pressed against me and her ass rubbed my dick; the body heat only intensified our arousal.

_My hands are tied, _

_My body bruised_

_She's got me with_

_Nothing to win_

_And nothing left to lose._

Bella finally broke our fevered kiss and turned her head back toward the stage, her hands now firmly clutching my ass and keeping our bodies connected in the only way that was socially acceptable. I was sweating -- from the heat of the lights and the bodies around us and from the exertion of our movements -- and as I licked Bella's neck it was salty with a sheen of perspiration as well.

My hands moved independently of my brain, skimming her thighs, her stomach and then her breasts as I wrapped my arms around her. Her nipples pebbled at my touch and Bella exhaled loudly, as I traced a path from her shoulder up to her neck with my tongue. Without warning she turned around and threw her arms around my neck, stealing another kiss.

Our bodies were naturally drawn together in an intimate stance, as Bella straddled one of my legs and began moving us again slowly. Through her jeans and my own, I could feel the heat of her arousal, and it nearly drove me insane. Gently and sensuously she made little circles with her pelvis, sliding her hands down to my ass.

_With or without you_

_With or without you._

_I can't live_

_With or without you._

"Edward, I _need_ you…now," she whispered, and I watched, rapt, as her fingers eased the other side of her top off her shoulder. The thin material was now only being held up by her arms and our chests pressed together. And I wanted nothing more than to rid her of it and the rest of her clothing.

The band launched into "Desire," and I rolled my eyes at the irony. This was a perilous state of affairs; the tenuous grasp I had on my self-control was gone, and the music only served as an aphrodisiac. My fingers wove through Bella's hair as I brought her face to mine, pulling her bottom lip into my mouth. As my thumbs grazed her cheeks, she sighed, pulling away from my lips.

"Can we _please_ get out of here?" she asked, pushing her breasts against me as her breath tickled my ear. "I want to feel you," and then licked my earlobe and sucked on it, adding, "…inside me." I groaned, suddenly wishing Bono would wrap things up so I could sweep this woman away and into my bed. Inwardly I chuckled at the ridiculousness of it: here I was at a U2 concert and in the front row, no less, and all I could think about was leaving.

_Bella's hair._

_Bella's skin._

_Bella's body…on mine._

But I didn't want to be a total shithead and leave everyone behind; we had all decided to go to a bar after the concert, and it was a chance to get to know Alice, Rosalie and Emmett better. If I was going to do this the right way, I couldn't ditch all of them and take Bella with me. I exhaled loudly in defeat.

"Baby, there is nothing more I'd rather do," I said, leaving a trail of wetness as I kissed and sucked on Bella's neck, "than take you back to my place and tear these clothes off you." She whimpered at the idea. "But Emmett was nice enough to invite us, and I don't want you to regret leaving early. And I'd really like to get to know your friends."

She only pouted for a moment, but then smiled and kissed me.

"You're too good, Edward Cullen," she said. "Do you know that?"

As I nodded down at her I recognized the beginning of "All I Want is You." _Damn, it's like they have a direct connect to my brain._ They were performing all of my absolute favorites tonight, and I smiled into Bella's mouth as I kissed her. Abruptly, an image flooded my mind.

"Bella, can I show you just how _good_ I am?"

She looked at me, puzzled, until I grabbed her perfect ass and arranged her so that she was again straddling my thigh. I knew her jeans were thin; hopefully the seam would provide the friction that she needed. I wanted her to get her release.

Bella's eyes grew wide as awareness dawned, and she opened to her mouth to protest. Once more I silenced her with my own and began to move us again, this time adding upward and downward movements to our dance. Her face immediately flushed and she threw her arms around my neck. Our faces were inches apart, and the world around me quickly fell away as she became the center of my universe.

"Oh fuck, Edward," she moaned. I kissed her hard, spurred on by her dirty mouth, my own lust and my desire to make her feel good. "If you keep that up I'm going to…"

"I want you to come, Bella," I finished for her. "Come for me." I let my head fall against her shoulder as I continued and I felt her hot little hand cover my aching dick, letting my own movements act against her fingers. _Shit._

"Fuck. Baby, move your hand or I'll come in my pants. We can play more later. Promise. " When she hesitated, I gently removed her hand, kissed it, and wrapped it around my neck. Immediately she wove her fingers through the hair at the nape of my neck and pulled. _Fuck._

Her breathing accelerated with each pass and when she started to whimper I knew she was close. With one hand at the apex of her legs, gripping her upper thigh, I used my thumb and pressed down against the seam of her jeans and started rubbing in little circles. Our eyes locked and I was sure I saw flames flickering in the dark chocolate of her irises. She gasped and arched her back, her breasts crushing against my chest.

"Oh God Edward, I'm…"

I covered her mouth and her cries with my lips and kept them there, kissing her, while she rode out the waves of her orgasm. _I will never tire of watching her face as she comes._ The rousing strains of "Where the Streets Have no Name" garnered renewed applause and a thunderous roar of appreciation from the crowd. Bella's heavy breathing pressed her breasts against my chest every other beat; the sensation was tantalizing and I made a conscious effort to regain my own composure.

Her heated gaze remained on me, and we stared at each other, just breathing, for what seemed like an eternity. _God, I am so in love with this woman. Help me. _Only when I blinked did the world snap back into focus. It was suddenly loud and harsh and it seemed Bella was feeling the same way. She wrapped her arms around me and buried her face against my chest and shoulder.

"Hmmm…you're amazing," she murmured. I kissed her hair in reply. "I love you so much."

"I love you too Bella."

It was only then that I heard soft giggling and snickering coming from my left and I whipped my head in the direction of the sound. Alice immediately covered her mouth, though her eyes said it all. Mustering the most menacing glare I could, I released Bella and stepped toward her, knowing that Jasper would put himself between us.

"Whitlock, tell your woman to knock it off," I said, trying to peek around him to glower at Alice. "I don't know what she's giggling about over here, but if she doesn't stop I…"

"I won't talk to her for a week," Bella chimed in. "And we all know how Alice would feel about not getting any gossip for a whole seven days. So zip it, shortie." Bella then winked at her friend and turned her attention back to the concert.

Alice's mouth hung open in a shocked "O" and her expression clearly showed she had been blindsided by Bella's threat. Jasper smirked in Bella's direction and nodded his head at me.

"Damn, son, you got ya'self a good one there." He winked and went back to soothing Alice. But I was curious, so I tried a different tactic.

"Alice, I was only kidding about being mad," I began. Alice perked up a bit. "I'm sorry. But I still want to know what you were laughing about."

Her expression softening, Alice looked at me with what I could only describe as a knowing smile and said, "Just at how well you two seem to be getting along. From what I understood, you were like oil and water. Now…things have definitely changed. I just _knew_ it! Jasper, I told you, didn't I?"

Jasper nodded._ Huh?_

"What? What do you mean Alice," I asked. She laughed again and leaned against Jasper.

"Oh, silly boy. We all saw this happening," she said. "The chemistry between you two was so obvious right from the start. God, I love it when I'm right. And Rose, Esme and I are all going to be bridesmaids!" She jumped up and down, clapping her hands like a child, and suddenly it seemed I had swallowed a rather large bug.

_Bridesmaids? Wedding? Bella and me…married? _My brain struggled to wrap itself around the concept. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, suddenly spurred on by the thought.

"Uh, Alice…" I began, but she held up a hand to cut me off.

"Edward, don't worry," she said. "Not yet. But I'll let you know when it's time." It was her turn to wink at me, and my pulse relaxed a little at her joke. Still, I wondered if the little pixie was clairvoyant or something. _Weird._

After the concert we all drove over to Solo and took advantage of the time left before last-call. The drinks flowed as did the conversation but all I could think about, again, was Bella. In the improved lighting of the bar, I was able to study her; I was transfixed. She spoke with Emmett and their playful sibling-like relationship made me smile. Bella didn't seem off-put in the least when he wrapped his arms around her waist and scooped her up in a bear hug.

"Emmett! Can't…breathe…" she gasped, and I stifled my laugh when his face fell.

"Sorry B! Rosie's always tellin' me to go easy," he yelled with a toothy grin. "But only _outside_ the bedroom, of course." One glance in Rosalie's direction confirmed that he would be punished for that comment, and this time I laughed aloud.

As we walked back to our cars, Bella grabbed my hand and held it until we got to Emmett's Jeep. With the others close behind us, I knew I only had moments to spare, and I really didn't want an audience for this.

"Bella, please stay with me tonight," I said, pulling her close to me. I wasn't ready for the night to end, and the thought of spending another one without her made me ache. Visions of undressing Bella and having her in _my_ bed were making it difficult to get the words out of my mouth. "I need to have you with me." It was all I could muster.

She bit her lip as she looked down at my chest.

"Yes," she said simply.

I tilted her head up and kissed her just as Emmett and Rosalie, Jasper and Alice and Carlisle and Esme reached us. There were a couple of friendly "Ooohs," but I didn't give a shit. I said good night to everyone with hugs and handshakes while Bella discretely whispered to Alice. From the corner of my eye, I watched as Alice's lips turned up into a bright smile. Then she reached into the back of Emmett's Jeep and produced a small overnight bag. _You've got to be kidding me! _Apparently this was not Bella's idea; her face mirrored mine in surprise.

"I thought you might need this Bella," she said, handing her the bag and hugging her. "And I added a few new things for you to…um…choose from. Just try them. Please?"

Bella nodded like a bobblehead doll, most likely just to end the awkward conversation about what Alice might have packed for her. Quickly I escorted her to Carlisle's vehicle and helped her step up. I threw her bag into the trunk and then felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. Intrigued as to who might be texting me this late, I closed the hatch and flipped open my phone. And choked.

_**Edward, lovely mtg you in Chicago this wk. I'm in Seattle. Let's have lunch 2 discuss Aro's offer. When?**_

Tanya's text glared back at me in the dark street. Hastily I pushed the delete option and shut my phone. _Tanya was here. In Seattle. Why? _Aro had failed to mention that his little pet would be traveling here and I had already rejected his offer. Shoving the thoughts from my mind, I climbed into the backseat next to Bella and Esme.

"Edward, are you feeling okay?" Bella asked, looking concerned. Carefully I tried to arrange my features in a look of nonchalance; obviously my last attempt had failed. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"I'm fine, love," I said, kissing her nose. In order to change the subject, I asked Esme how the week had been without us. Thankfully she obliged.

"Oh, Edward, it was fine," she said sweetly. "It's always a bit crazy when Bella's away, and it was especially hectic with you _both_ gone this week. But I managed. I understand you two had a productive, educational week in Chicago?"

"It was great," Bella bubbled from beside me before I could respond. "Edward was great too. Everyone loved him and his presentation. We walked all over the city and it was great."

I'd never heard Bella use the word "great" so many times to describe working…and working with _me._ If she hadn't looked so damn cute when she gushed about it, I would have laughed.

Carlisle dropped us off at my house and after thanking him and saying goodnight to Jasper and Esme, I helped Bella out and grabbed her bag. She stood outside my house for a moment, examining it in the dark, and after a few moments, I gently nudged her shoulder.

"Wanna go inside, love? It's much nicer and cozier on the _inside_."

Bella laughed -- she sounded a bit nervous -- and smiled at me.

"Right. How silly of me," she said, reaching up on her toes to kiss me. "Lead the way, stud." Her use of the word "stud," of course, popped in my brain and then headed directly south. I could barely keep my hands off her long enough to let her inside.

Slamming the kitchen door behind me, I pushed Bella up against the wall, tossing her bag to the floor in the process. Despite my desperation to get Bella alone, deep down I knew I needed to reign it in. This was a big deal for me, and I wanted to do it the right way. After getting my dick on the same page as my brain, I set Bella down and caressed her cheek with the back of my hand.

"Sorry love; I was a little over-eager," I said, kissing her softly. She sighed but said nothing. "Would you like the grand tour?" She nodded, so I took her by the hand and headed toward the living room. It was a small house, but cozy. Two bedrooms and a third room served as a study, and a living room and an eat-in kitchen with a center island.

We climbed the stairs and Bella walked through the double doors, immediately going to the shelves that lined the far wall of the room. Her eyes lit up as her fingers skimmed the spines of the books and then traveled to my CD collection. When she reached the end of the shelves she turned and her eyes settled on the main focal point in the room.

"Edward, this is beautiful," she gasped, standing before the Steinway baby grand that had been in my family for 50 years. When my father passed away, my mother had insisted I take it; Carlisle had no desire to play after the childhood lessons were over. I had been playing religiously since I was five; to me it was my center, my anchor.

"Thank you. It was my father's," I said, walking over to her. "He and I spent many hours playing together on this piano. It reminds me of him."

For a moment I got lost in my own nostalgia, and only resurfaced when I felt Bella's hand on my face. Her eyes were clear and shining in the soft lamp light, her lips begging to be kissed and _well_.

"Edward, I'm sorry," she whispered. "When?" I smoothed her hair, attempting to reassure her that I was fine. I explained briefly: our father had passed 12 years ago from an aneurysm and our mother had succumbed to cancer four years later. It wasn't something I talked about, but I thought Bella deserved to know.

"Oh, Edward."

"Bella, honey, it's alright," I said, kissing her. "It was a long time ago."

"Edward, will you play for me," she asked, changing the subject. I kissed her deeply once more, leaning her against the piano.

"Yes, love, but not tonight. It's late."

She led me out of the study and I gestured for her to continue down the hall to my bedroom. Flicking on the lights, the room was bathed in lamp light, which warmed the grey-blue walls and thick, slightly darker, ceiling-to-floor curtains. They were excellent for blocking out unwanted early morning sunlight. Bella's eyes took in the room quickly, her gaze landing on my king-sized bed and its plush white comforter.

"I like simple, clean lines," I explained.

She walked around the bed and I put her bag on the floor. Suddenly I was unsure of myself. _Was this a bad idea? Did she feel pressured into saying yes?_

"Edward, where's your washroom," she asked. "I'd like to get changed, if that's alright with you." I quickly ushered her to the bathroom off my bedroom and told her to take her time. While she was in there, I assessed the room to determine if it was maybe-having-sex-tonight-friendly. I straightened the comforter, then turned it down. Fluffed the pillows and then tossed them off the bed. Then put them back on the bed.

I took off my shoes and socks, and then debated on taking off the remainder of my clothes. _Fuck. Get a grip. It's not like you've never done this before._

Deciding on a compromise with myself, I took off my shirt. _What's taking her so long?_ I sat on the bed and picked up a book from my nightstand: "A Moveable Feast" – one of my favorites. For five minutes and 37 seconds I pretended to read. When I heard the doorknob turn, my heart leapt into my chest.

_Calm down!_ But once I looked up, calming down was simply not an option.

The woman standing before me was not the one who entered the bathroom thirteen minutes prior. This was a sex goddess. She stood just outside the door, her feet bare, long legs exposed to her upper thigh. The deep blue satin of her nightie taunted me, barely covering her. My dumbstruck gaze traveled upward, focusing on the slight swell of her taut stomach, her hips, her arms and her breasts. Two thin satin straps were all that held the flimsy material to her body. I shivered.

"Ahem. See anything you like, Mr. Cullen," she teased. _Fuck. Me._ Her use of my formal title and her sultry voice made my jeans abruptly uncomfortable. My eyes moved up to her neck, which was blissfully exposed, and to her face and her hair, which she had artfully twisted up and off her neck into a clip.

"Lots, actually," I managed. My brain struggled to process this new vision of Bella. "Um…that's…very nice."

"Nice?" she asked. "Just nice? Well, that simply won't do, Mr. Cullen."

_A/N: I know you all hate me for ending a chapter like this, but come on! You know you're going to get some lemony goodness in the next one! Isn't nervous Edward adorable? _

_Please leave reviews! I love them like dry humping at a U2 concert!_

_**Now for the reward. When I reach 550 reviews, I will write a one-shot of epic lemony proportions…and I will let YOU choose the topic. Leave your suggestion along with your review, and let your imagination run wild! **_


	24. Chapter 24: Devil in a blue dress

_Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just decided it was time to shake things up a bit in her characters' world. And I wanted a bitchy Bella, so here we go! _

_Oh, and all of the references used in this story in relation to the advertising and marketing company and accounts are only used here for entertainment purposes; no copyright infringement intended._

_Thank you to the following people: Angelicwish, who has gone above and beyond the call of duty to provide this insecure writer with loads of feedback, advice, beta services and great conversations; Lita for coming back to me (*waves hi*) and to Jen – I'm so glad we reconnected! Love you! And thanks so much to Latchkey Wife, who was kind enough to pimp out this story on her bloggy blog. Go check it out – Ramblings of a Latchkey Wife. She makes me laugh my ass off on a regular basis. _

_.com/__ And also go to – awesome site!_

_In case any of you are wondering, here are some fics that are completely devastating me right now (please go check them out on FanFiction) – Expectations and Other Moving Pieces by chrometurtle; Tre by my sweetie Megsly (update soon!); The Blessing and the Curse by The_Black_Arrow and The Misapprehension of Bella Swan (Regarding the Inferior Intellect of Hockey Whores) by hunterhunting. My list of favorites is getting ridiculous. Just read these. You're welcome._

_Okay, so this will cover their weekend together, and then it's back to work!_

_Follow me on Twitter people! LauraLoo77_

_**Oh, and one more thing before I leave you to it: I know there are a lot of you lurking out there, reading (thank you!) but not reviewing. I've begged and pleaded, so now it's time to bring out the big guns. To solicit more reviews from you lurkers, I will be offering a special prize at the end of this chapter. So read on and see the A/N at the end for more!**_

**Chapter Twenty-four: Devil in a blue dress**

"_Ahem. See anything you like, Mr. Cullen," she teased. _

"_Lots, actually," I managed. My brain struggled to process this new vision of Bella. "Um…that's…very…nice."_

"_Nice?" she asked. "Just nice? Well, that simply won't do, Mr. Cullen."_

_**EPOV**_

"Uh…"

"I mean…"

"_Damn_…

"Bella…"

"_Shit_…"

"Mr. Cullen, is that all you have to say for yourself?" _Ohmygod I am actually fucking speechless. _Uselessly I shrugged my shoulders and then nodded, hoping for my tongue to start working again. I stared like a damn deer in headlights as Bella crossed the room, stalking me.

"Well, we'll have to see what we can do to get that mouth of yours working again," she purred. _Fuck._ Once she reached the foot of my bed she climbed up and fucking _crawled_ toward me. _I wonder if you can die from an epic hard-on._ I swallowed hard when her hands slid up my legs, coming to rest on the waist of my jeans. Her eyes never leaving mine, she painstakingly slipped each copper button through its hole until my fly was open. She hummed in appreciation and palmed my dick through my boxer briefs. Then she fisted my jeans in each hand and yanked.

Momentarily my dick rejoiced at being freed from the confines of my jeans, but Bella was a woman on a mission. So fast that she was a blur of skin and blue satin, she straddled my lap and began rocking her pelvis against mine. I nearly fucking came like that, still clad in my underwear, like an inexperienced teenager. The material rode up her thighs and pooled in front of her. It was obvious that she was bare under the nightie.

"Fuck Bella," I growled as she rocked over me. She silenced me with a rough kiss, pushing her tongue into my mouth like she was taking ownership of it. _She does own me – every part of me._ Her fingers thrust into my hair and tugged, and my hands grasped her waist, holding her to me. It was frantic, fast and devastating. And I wanted it all.

As if she were reading my mind, Bella rose up on her knees and pulled my boxers down my legs. I kicked them off and then she sat back down, her moist, intense heat directly on my aching cock. Her wetness slid perfectly against me and the sensation, zipping through my body like blue electric current, short-circuited my brain.

_Shit. Calm the fuck down or you're not going to last long._

"Edward…you feel…so fucking good," she panted as she glided back and forth, up and down. I wasn't even inside her and I was close to coming. In retrospect, I blame the blue satin nightie mixed with the undeniable, raw sexiness that was Bella. _I am one lucky sonofabitch. _

Drowning in her, I watched as she gyrated: how the material looked like water as it flowed over her body; the graceful sweep of her hips as she teased; her supple breasts thrust into my face when she arched her back; her kiss-swollen, pouty lips and her wild, half-curled, half-tangled hair.

"Please Edward…" she whimpered, granting me control over her body with only two words. It was one of the things I loved about Bella: her eagerness to surrender. It utterly unraveled me. Quickly I wrapped my arm around her and flipped her onto her back. The nightie fluttered and settled on her stomach, exposing her completely.

_Focus asshole. Do this nice and slow._

"Bella, you are stunning," I said, smoothing the fabric down and then reaching to caress her cheek with my fingertips. Tonight I refused to be rushed; I wanted to love Bella, not fuck her. "I adore you, you know. Now I want you to _feel_ just how much."

As I studied her face, all of the fire and lust drained from her eyes, leaving only love and devotion. Her bottom lip quivered and she captured it between her teeth as a tear spilled from the corner of her eye, disappearing into her hair. I kissed the salty trail it left behind, whispering soothing words into her ear. Gently I lifted her off the bed and slipped the blue negligee over her head. With her finally naked beneath me, I kissed her slowly and let my hands wander across her silky skin.

Secretly I thrilled in the way Bella's body reacted to my touch -- a trail of goose bumps erupted in my wake -- and her moans and sighs urged me to continue. When I reached her thigh I bent her leg and hitched it over my hip, giving me access to her ass and forcing her wetness against me. My lips sought hers and for a while we simply lay together naked, kissing and touching each other. There was no rush. She was mine for the night.

I worshipped Bella with my lips and hands as I kissed and touched the parts of her that beckoned to me like the call of the Sirens: her silky hair, her shoulders and neck, the spot just behind her earlobes, the hollow of her throat, her breasts, slender waist and round hips. All of these kept me distracted from my ultimate goal; tonight, however, the diversion was welcomed. As I worked my way down the fire in her eyes returned; finally I could wait no longer and I slid a finger inside her.

She was so wet and ready for me; I groaned with the contact of hot wetness against the cooler length of my finger. Bella gasped when I added another, clutching at my chest and shoulders for leverage. Her back arched against my hand and her body shook with unmet desire. It was too much for me.

Removing my fingers, I waited until Bella's eyes snapped back to mine before silently putting them in my mouth to taste her. She groaned and watched as my eyes rolled back in my head. _She tasted so fucking good._ I needed to be inside her, and I positioned over her once more. With a desperate kiss, she pulled back and pleaded silently, and I happily gave her what she wanted -- what _I _wanted.

Bella whimpered when I pushed inside her and as we began our now-familiar rhythm there was no sound but that of our breathing and occasional moans and sighs. Writhing beneath me, she seemed to understand my silence and was equally quiet and focused. My eyes never left hers; her hands never left my face. Our union was fulfillment and completion made flesh, as it had been from the start -- but still distinct from all the other times.

_Let me show you._

With each thrust I imagined imparting to Bella the depth of my love; my desire for her; the soul-crushing realization that I couldn't live in a world where she didn't exist. The acceptance that whatever we faced we would do it together; that I was connected with her in ways I had never experienced, and would _never_ realize with anyone else. I was hers in every sense of the word. I needed her to feel what I could not express with words.

That as I filled her and she made me whole by taking me inside her, I was leaving traces of my thoughts behind for her subconscious to discover later. Each time I entered her, it knocked the breath from her lips and I could feel she was perilously close to the edge. To draw out the delicious torture I slowed my pace, and almost stilled completely when tears leaked again from her eyes. Concerned that maybe I was hurting her, I wiped them away with my thumbs and decided to break the peaceful silence.

"Bella, love, are you alright?"

She lifted her head to kiss me again, pressing her lips firmly against mine as if to comfort me, and quickly nodded her head.

"I just love you so much," she whispered, reaching for my hair and running her fingers through it affectionately. There was pain and longing in her eyes, even as she smiled, and I knew there was more. My heart instinctively clenched.

"I love you too – with all my heart," I said, kissing her.

"Edward…" she began, undeterred by my declaration. Obviously, there was something bothering her. I stilled my hips. "Please don't stop." I began moving inside her again very slowly.

"Edward, I can't lose you," she choked, another round of tears descending into her hair. "I need you too much; it scares me. I can't help myself."

"I need you too Bella," I said, my kiss punctuating my statement. "And you won't lose me. This? You and me? It's breathing, in and out, every day, until there's nothing. It's everything. _You're everything._ To me."

She said nothing, but nodded frantically and blinked back more tears. Then she kissed me and with a touch renewed the fire in my belly. My words gave me strength and I put them to use. We fell back into silence as Bella climaxed forcefully and cried out, her body going rigid as I moved a few more times and came with her.

***************

In the silence of the dark bedroom I listened as our hearts eventually slowed to an even thrumming, pulses no longer straining against arterial walls. When the sheen of now-cold sweat on her naked form made Bella shiver, I untangled my arms only long enough to reach for the white comforter and blankets. We lay together silently, a mess of arms and legs and skin-on-skin and in that moment I was completely content. Monday was an alien threat, a distant dark cloud on the horizon. It had no power over us here, in this room.

Bella was quiet, and I assumed she was asleep. When I traced a line down her arm, from her shoulder to her fingers, however, her quickening pulse gave her away. Suddenly she lifted herself off my chest and out of my embrace, pulling my discarded shirt off the floor. I watched as she slipped it over her head and slowly her naked form disappeared from sight. She smiled at me slightly, but it did not reach her eyes, and she silently padded away.

The bright light flicked on in the bathroom and then the door shut with a muffled click. My weary heart broke into a gallop for the umpteenth time since I'd met Isabella Swan, and with a groan I rolled onto my back, staring up at the ceiling and hoping I was just overreacting to her expression. _I'm not overreacting, though. I know that fucking look._

After a few long minutes the toilet flushed and the door opened, and after a brief blinding light the room was bathed in inky blackness once more. Bella seemed to have trouble locating the bed, and I heard her stumble when she tripped over the articles of my clothing we had left in our wake. The mattress gave as she joined me on the bed and I was saddened to feel the material of my shirt between us as she resumed her previous position.

Neither one of us wanted to say a word, it seemed. Bella was obviously warring within herself; I was powerless to console her. Not that I hadn't tried numerous times before. By now this dance was familiar to me -- as familiar as the much more pleasing one we had just finished -- and I felt my optimism falter with the realization. _When will she ever let herself go? Will she ever be able to simply be with me and enjoy it? What good is love if there's so much regret chained to it?_

The tension in the room was suddenly palpable as we lay together. I refused to let this place be one associated with the angst that had become such a central character in our story. With determination brewing in my gut, I took a deep breath to brace myself for this uninvited conversation. But Bella cut me off, as if she read my mind.

"Edward, I'm so sorry. I don't mean to torture you," she whispered, propping herself up on her elbow in the dark. I could see through the curtains that dawn was fighting for dominance over the horizon, and Bella's form was slightly backlit against the window.

"God, and I do it without even realizing it," she exclaimed, slapping her free hand across her leg. "I'm so horrible at this. I'm all fear and loathing and stress and paranoia. I infuriate _myself_; I don't know how you put up with it."

"It's not without some difficulty," I admitted, shocked at my own honesty. If Bella was off-put by my statement, her dimly-lit face didn't reveal it. Instead she seemed to internalize the comment for a moment and then she forged on.

"I want to be good for you Edward. Really I do. And I don't want to drive you away," she said, trailing her finger across my jaw as it flexed. "These past few months have been…challenging. But I feel like they were all a precursor to something significant -- they were leading to _this_." As she spoke, she rested her hand over my heart, which promptly started skipping every few beats.

"Bella, why won't you _let_ yourself be happy? It's not that difficult," I reasoned. "For once, throw aside your doubts and fears about what people _might_ think of you. You deserve happiness. Please believe that. Focus on what you have; focus on _me._"

It was a plea for Bella to stop caring so much about what everyone else thought and said. This was about her inability to stop trying to control her destiny long enough to enjoy the journey. I hated to see her wasting herself, crippled by her own success and held captive by her insecurities.

She sighed and at first said nothing; her fingers played lightly with the chest hair under her hand. _Come on baby. Stay with me._

"It _is_ difficult for me Edward; don't you see that?" she asked, her voice desperate. "Do you think I _want_ to make this hard on us both? There's nothing I want more in this world than to love you without consequence. Please know that I'm trying."

In the grey-gold light of the early morning I could see her face now, still partially hidden in shadow, but clearer than before. It was pained and hungry for acceptance. I had vowed to grant her the time and space she needed, and I would continue to do so. _Not that it wasn't exhausting. _

"I know you're trying, love," I said soothingly, resting my hand over hers. "Just keep talking to me, okay? It will get easier. And we will figure it out.

"I have plans for us this weekend, you know."

I hadn't planned to change the subject, but it eased the heavy air in the room somewhat when I saw her smile. Curiosity lit her features as she leaned over me, her hair falling around us. She kissed me with purpose and momentarily I forgot what my plan _was_, exactly.

"So…what are you planning, Mr. Cullen?"

"Some quality alone time, just me and you," I said, holding her to my side. "I thought I'd cook you dinner tonight and we could just relax. On Sunday, maybe go for a walk or into the city after breakfast. Assuming you're willing to be my prisoner for the weekend."

Bella looked like she was pondering my invitation, playfully tugging on a strand of her hair and chewing on her bottom lip while her eyes scanned the ceiling. She was toying with me. With one hand wrapped around both of her wrists and the other on her back, I spun her onto the bed and against the pillows. She giggled and squirmed, trying to free herself from my grasp. After our laughter quieted I watched Bella take a steadying breath.

"Edward, I'm yours for the weekend," she said with a smile. "I'm your willing prisoner. Do with me what you will." Her eyes darkened considerably when the truth of her own words filtered through her brain. My free hand skimmed her side and came to rest against her neck.

"Bella, tell me you're mine again," I whispered, surprised at my own need for reassurance. The words had sounded like bells on Christmas morning, and I craved to hear them once more.

"I'm yours, Edward," she murmured. "_Always_."

Her last word crushed me like an anvil on my chest; suddenly the thin cotton barrier of my shirt was too much distance, as frustrating as a wall separating us. I released her wrists and with both hands quickly slipped the shirt over her head. Surprise registered across her face when she realized my intentions, but the look was quickly overshadowed by lust.

"Good. I'm going to endeavor to remind you of that every day," I said, running my hands down her naked form and pressing myself against her. As Bella moaned I kissed her. We were oblivious to the sunshine trying like hell to force its way into my bedroom.

****************

We finally got out of bed around noon; for once Bella didn't seem driven to accomplish any monumental tasks by some pre-determined hour of the day. I made us scrambled eggs, homefries and toast, which Bella wolfed down in record time. And she was oddly at ease in my home, lounging on the couch in my thermal and sipping her coffee.

"Edward, you have a wonderful home," she said to me when I brought her the second cup. "I mean it; it's a perfect little house."

"Thanks," I said quietly. "It's not the palatial estate I'd always hoped for, but it's home." Bella laughed at my sarcasm and I sat down next to her.

"So what do you want to do today?" I asked her. No sooner had I finished my sentence when a loud rumble of thunder alerted me that we would not be doing anything outdoors. "Well, that narrows it down a bit."

Bella scooted over so that she was nestled against my chest, and said, "Why don't we do _this_? It's been ages since I did nothing on a Saturday."

"Sounds like a great idea," I said, flipping on the TV.

Later that night, as promised, I made Bella dinner. She watched me for a while from her perch on the edge of the counter (I had refused help), sipping from her glass of wine. My kitchen was comfortable, and I loved cooking in it. I moved from the center island to the stove and back again with ease; the smile on Bella's face as I peeked at her every once in a while was approving.

"I love to watch you cook, Edward," she said, crossing her legs at the ankle and swinging them gently against the lower cabinets. "You're a natural. What recipe are you working from? It smells delicious!"

Smiling, I shook my head, instead reaching for the wooden spoon in the pot I had on the stove. Scooping a small amount of the liquid, I blew on it and brought it to her lips, saying only, "Taste."

"I never use recipes," I admitted as she moaned in enjoyment of the sauce.

"No recipes? Ever?" She seemed to ponder this bit of incredulity.

"Nope," I confirmed, sampling the sauce myself. It tasted damn good. "I just let it happen…organically."

Bella snickered at my choice of words and kitchen bravado.

"So are you going to tell me what you're making then, master chef?"

"It's my variation on chicken marsala," I offered. "Not quite as salty, and with Kalamata olives. The olives add the saltiness and an extra little kick, I think. It's one of my favorites."

After she'd finished her first glass of wine, I gently shooed Bella out of the kitchen with a kiss and a refilled glass. She laughed but accepted my explanation of wanting to set the table and finish the meal to make our dinner date authentic. With her out of the room I finished the chicken, cooked the pasta and made a tossed salad with almonds and dried cranberries. Then I located a tablecloth, candles and candlesticks and set the table.

I found Bella curled up on the sofa in front of the fire, her knees tucked against her chest. She absentmindedly stared into the flames and sipped her wine, and for a moment I just watched her. She seemed completely relaxed.

"Bella, love, dinner's ready," I said quietly, hating to disturb the quiet calm in the room. As if in a trance, she blinked a few times and then turned to smile at me. I reached for her hand and lifted her off the couch, planting a kiss on her nose.

"Mmm…it smells wonderful Edward," she said as we entered the kitchen. The only light in the kitchen came from the candles; Bella gasped when her gaze fell upon the table. "You are too much. This is…perfect." She reached up and kissed me slowly, her lips sweet from the wine.

Dinner with Bella this time was an entirely new experience; I'd never heard so much culinary-induced moaning in my life, and the sounds Bella emitted both drove me wild with lust and made me laugh. This woman obviously enjoyed my cooking.

"Edward, that was…orgasmic," she said finally with a giggle. "That was absolutely the best meal I have ever eaten. Thank you so much."

"No, thank _you_. I've never enjoyed watching someone eat before," I said with a smirk and a chuckle. Truly, it was endearing. Just another thing I now loved about her. We sat in near silence for a few minutes, letting our meals settle and finishing the wine. It was so comfortable that it seemed we'd been doing this for years. Then I rose and cleared the table, protesting again when Bella offered to help me load the plates into the dishwasher. Insistent on washing the larger dishes, however, I let Bella start on the pots and I dried them. Once more we fell into an easy rhythm, her washing and me drying and putting them away.

_How had she become so essential to my life? How did something as simple as washing dishes together give meaning to our relationship?_ There were no answers, but undoubtedly I knew this woman was revealing pieces of herself that she might never have shared with anyone else; yes, even doing this together seemed special in its own right. _Damn, I'm such a girl._

"See, that wasn't so bad, was it?" she asked as she handed me the last pot lid. "Four hands are much better than two. I like washing dishes, actually; it relaxes me."

"Is there a domestic goddess hidden under the suit?" I asked playfully. I couldn't resist; part of me couldn't imagine Bella in her kitchen, making meals and baking pies. The two images – work Bella and home Bella – just did not mesh. "You enjoy doing dishes…anything else?"

She deliberated for a few moments, distractedly playing with a lock of hair, and then Bella's eyes found mine again and she smiled knowingly.

"I have this…secret infatuation," she began and then paused to gauge my reaction before proceeding "…with making pizza. Buffalo chicken pizza, to be specific. And bacon and black olive. And Greek. Every Friday night, I make pizzas for the girls and we have beer and watch old movies."

To say I was surprised by her "secret food obsession" would have been a gross understatement. What should I expect, though, after all this time? I think I fell in love with her all over again. _Bella. With beer…and homemade pizza, hanging with the girls._

"Edward, say something!" Her urgent request pulled me away from visions of Bella, beer and pizza.

"Oh. Sorry! I was fantasizing about all of that," I admitted unabashedly. "And I was wondering when you'll be making _me_ some pizza!"

Bella giggled at my confession and reached up on her toes to kiss me. I wrapped my arms around her and lifted her off her feet, savoring the taste of her lips and the smell of her hair and it tumbled around us.

"How does next weekend sound?"

Bella was asking me to her place next weekend – for pizza. She was offering to make me dinner, and show me her little corner of the world. This was a big deal. I knew this. We settled on Friday night and Bella assured me that Alice, Rose and Esme wouldn't mind taking a rain check, _just this once._ Unwilling to piss the ladies off, however, I offered to make it a group pizza and beer night if Bella preferred. _I can share._

Turning the kitchen lights off, I led Bella back to the living room couch. While I watched the news, she snuggled into my side with her legs draped over my lap. Five or ten minutes in, Bella's breathing evened out and her body relaxed against mine. Once I was briefed on what was going on in the world, I clicked off the TV and sat in the dark, the only light coming from the streetlight that shone through the picture window. Listening to Bella's slow, rhythmic breaths soothed me and I started to nod off.

Gently I wrapped one arm around Bella's back and the other under her legs, and lifted us both off the couch. Her arms wound around my neck but otherwise she didn't stir as I made my way upstairs. Unsure of whether to wake her, instead I opted to slip off her flat shoes and leave her in her leggings and oversized shirt. It seemed comfortable to sleep in, I reasoned.

After undressing and brushing my teeth I climbed into my bed and molded myself to her sleeping form. I wrapped one arm around her and hugged her against me, bringing us even closer. Bella snaked one hand behind her and cupped my face against her palm.

"Goodnight Edward," she whispered into the dark. "I love you."

"Good night love," I replied, kissing her wrist.

****************

Sunday was a great day; Bella and I went for a walk through my neighborhood and then we shopped in one of the open-air markets for produce and fresh meat. The sun was uncharacteristically cooperative; it felt good to feel the warmth on my face and shoulders as we walked. Bella was just as cheery and held my hand as she suggested food options.

"Do you like Bosc pears Edward?" she asked. I nodded and she released my hand as she began filling the basket with the sweet brown fruit. "How about apples? Strawberries?"

"Yes to the apples and definitely to the strawberries," I answered, an idea forming in my mind. _Bella. Berries. Yum._

As she and I walked through the market, we talked about lots of different things; strangely, Bella seemed very open to discussion. We talked a bit more about my family -- Carlisle and my parents, how we were when we were kids, about the piano and my playing. We chatted about high school and college and the stupid things we did when we were younger: Bella got a nose ring as soon as she'd turned 18; I'd decided to shave my head and start a rock band when I was in high school. _Yep. Such a rebel._

"Bella, why don't you ever talk about your folks," I asked as we browsed the vegetable stands. "I know you told me a little about them, but you never mention them." She kept walking and gazing at the brightly hued vegetables -- peppers, eggplant, broccoli, fresh herbs -- as if they had asked the question.

"I don't know," she began. "What's there to say? They separated when I was little and for more than 10 years I got shipped from one house to the other. In the summer, I'd go visit my dad in Forks; during the school year I lived in Phoenix with my mom. She got remarried when I was a senior in high school and I decided I'd had enough. I moved in with my dad and finished high school there."

For a moment I was stunned by the torrent of words flowing from Bella's mouth. This was all new to me, and damn it if I was going to mess this up with my mouth. I simply nodded and she continued.

"Me and my dad are very similar; we're both pretty stoic people," she said wistfully. "My mother is very childish and lives in the moment. I'm sure you know I'm not like that. And even though my dad and I didn't always have hours-long conversations about the meaning of life, we just got each other, you know?

"He's a rock," Bella added, and I could have sworn she blinked back tears. "Charlie's the chief of police in Forks. Actually, I think he's planning to retire in a few years. Knowing him, though, he'll put it off. He loves what he does."

I couldn't believe she was just pouring her heart to me like this. And it hadn't been forced or alcohol or rage-induced. For a minute or two, I just took it all in, and couldn't help but be proud of her.

"Thank you," I said simply in reply.

"For what?"

"For sharing…all of this…with me," I answered. Right there, among the cabbage and lettuce, I pulled Bella into a hug and kissed her with all my might. If anyone cared to comment on the two people making out in the market, they could go ahead; I didn't give a shit. Once again, this woman had amazed me, and shown me that her heart was real, beating and vast.

"I love you," she said when I released her. "For letting me be myself. For letting me meet you halfway."

We walked in silence for a while; Bella stopped occasionally to smell oranges or shake the small seedless watermelons. I had no idea what squeezing a grapefruit could prove, but she did that too. I watched, rapt as always.

"Bella? Tonight, if you'd like, I'll play for you."

As soon as the words leapt from my lips my heart was in my throat. Had I just offered to play for her? What the fuck was I thinking? I'd never played for anyone, other than the occasional -- and painful -- school recitals growing up. And I'd only done those for my mother. My mind flashed back to our plane ride to Chicago and my admission to her about my composing. _Did I dare? _It wasn't finished and was extremely rough in design, but maybe I could play it for her. _It was for her anyways._

"Oh, I'd like that so much Edward," she said in a hushed and breathy voice. It seemed to skip across my lips and trickled down my spin, eliciting a shiver as it went. It was the sweetest answer I could've hoped for. "Thank you."

The two of us unpacked my groceries when we returned; Bella busied herself with putting the produce in the refrigerator while I put everything else away in its proper place. After making us big salads for dinner -- _a chick meal_, I decided -- I led her upstairs to my study.

Bella's gaze fell immediately on the ebony instrument and when I sat down on the bench and lifted the piano lid she audibly gasped. I turned to her, concerned there was something wrong, and when our eyes met, hers were wide and glassy.

"Are you alright love," I asked her. She bit her lip and nodded. She crossed the room and stood next to me. Bella seemed to be processing the combination of me _and_ the piano. If she hadn't looked so serious, I might have chuckled.

"I'm sorry Edward," she whispered. "I've just never seen…just the sight of you…this isn't coming out right." She tugged a strand of hair hanging from her ponytail and started chewing on her lip again. "You look so perfect sitting there. It's like you were made to sit at this piano."

No one had ever described it to me like that. I'd always liked to think I was good at playing and it had always been like therapy. But since I'd never had a private audience, I'd never heard someone describe the scene. It was strangely satisfying to see Bella so affected by me. _And I haven't even touched the keys._

Taking her hand, I kissed her wrist and motioned for her to sit in the chaise -- an antique that had been my mother's -- and once she was comfortable I took one more glance at her and then turned my attention to the 88 keys before me.

The world faded away and only the black and white, yin and yang of the wooden keys were visible as I began to play. I didn't have sheet music for the complex lullaby; I didn't need it. The melody served as the soundtrack to my dreams and even some of my waking moments. Its essence coursed through my veins along with my blood and flowed through my fingertips and onto the cool, polished keys. My fingers moved quickly and my body rocked back and forth as needed. I'd utilized all seven octaves for this piece -- the multifaceted inspiration warranted an intricate theme song, I reasoned.

When the last notes lingered and then faded into the walls of the small space, it was quiet. With my head bowed, both with the uncertainty of Bella's reaction and from the exhaustion of playing, I sat on the bench waiting for something. Anything. And then I heard a noise and turned my head toward the source.

Bella was crying. My heart sank at the sight of her tears, big and plentiful, and my body moved on its own, off the bench and to her side. Streaks of moisture paved their way down her cheeks and dripped off her jaw, leaving dark spots on her turtleneck. Words failed me; I had put them all into the music, so I waited.

"Edward," she began, sniffling loudly and grasping my hands in her lap. "That was the most beautiful thing I have ever heard." She stared at my fingers wrapped in her own, and then lifted them to her lips. Kissing each one of them reverently, she looked at me again with her big, brown eyes.

"What do you call it," she asked, kissing my pinky.

"'Bella's Lullaby,'" I confessed. The clock on the bookshelf seemed to stop ticking in anticipation of her response. Her eyes filled up once more and she smiled.

"Thank you. I couldn't have asked for a better gift."

_A/N: Awww…did you like that? It made me all warm and fuzzy and sniffly just writing it. These two needed some happy times, don't you think? And I hope I succeeded in giving it to them! Please tell me what you thought._

_I think next chapter we're going to go back to Bella. Maybe her head's not so crowded and angst-filled after this weekend. Here's to hoping!_

_Please leave reviews! I love them like Edward's piano playing. (And let's face it, I'm totally picturing Rob. Damn it.)_

_**Now for the reward. When I reach 550 reviews, I will write a one-shot of epic lemony proportions…and I will let YOU choose the topic. Leave your suggestion along with your review, and let your imagination run wild! **_


	25. Chapter 25: All for me

_Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just decided it was time to shake things up a bit in her characters' world. And I wanted a bitchy Bella, so here we go! _

_Oh, and all of the references used in this story in relation to the advertising and marketing company and accounts are only used here for entertainment purposes; no copyright infringement intended._

_Thank you to the following people: Angelicwish, who has gone above and beyond the call of duty to provide this insecure writer with loads of feedback, advice, beta services and great conversations; Lita for coming back to me (*waves hi*) and to Jen – I'm so glad we reconnected! Love you! And thanks so much to Latchkey Wife, who was kind enough to pimp out this story on her bloggy blog. Go check it out – Ramblings of a Latchkey Wife. She makes me laugh my ass off on a regular basis. _

_.com/__ And also go to – awesome site!_

_In case any of you are wondering, here are some fics that are completely devastating me right now (please go check them out on FanFiction or Twilighted) – Expectations and Other Moving Pieces by chrometurtle; Tre by my sweetie Megsly (update soon!); The Blessing and the Curse by The_Black_Arrow and The Misapprehension of Bella Swan (Regarding the Inferior Intellect of Hockey Whores) by hunterhunting. My list of favorites is getting ridiculous. Just read these. You're welcome._

_A hello as well to sassygirl156 for naming Sweetward! Aww...and a special thank you to Forever_Liz and Megsly (hi bbs) for helping me with this chapter. 3_

_We're back to Bella now gang and we're wrapping up the weekend and heading into Monday. _

_**DISCLAIMER**__ -- I'm not going to lie to you – shit's going to be weird. Bella's going to break the camel's back here, so if you don't think you can take the heartfail, please just wait for the next chapter and don't read this one. For the rest of you, please trust where I'm going with this. In order for there to be growth and resolution, there must be pain. And it's time our Sweetward call her on her shit. Please just trust and read on._

_Follow me on Twitter people! LauraLoo77_

**Chapter Twenty-five: All for me**

_He wrote a song for me._

My flabbergasted mind struggled and failed to comprehend the weight of this realization. I watched as this beautiful creature poured his love for me over the keys of his baby grand, and at once knew I would come up pitifully short in reciprocating. My personal symphony filled the room with affection, and I sat there pinned under it like it weighed a ton.

Leave it to me to let my insecurities and self-doubt sully something as perfect and pure as this. Before he'd even finished I was mentally whipping myself. _Stupid, stupid girl. What can you even hope to offer him? _And as the last notes hung in the air, I knew he deserved so much more. Edward deserved appreciation and adoration, and damn it, I _could_ give him those things. A small victory over myself in the scheme of things, yes, but a victory nonetheless. The tears began to fall as Edward sat frozen on the piano bench.

His music was beautiful, aching, sorrowful one minute and jubilant the next; the melody skipped along, only to tumble down to the next few bars as if it were a child who'd tripped. It was schizophrenic yet organized and methodical. It singlehandedly unraveled me and elated me. I didn't know what to say.

When I finally found my voice, I tried to convey the depth of my awe, and paid tribute by kissing his hands. I asked him what it was called and his answer stopped my heart for a few beats.

"'Bella's Lullaby,'" he said. _Edward wrote a song for me…about me._ As soon as he informed me of its title, there was no doubt in my mind. I was reminded of what he had told me on the plane to Chicago, about his inspirations and setting life to music. Now I knew what my song was.

"Thank you. I couldn't have asked for a better gift," I told him honestly. No one had ever bestowed such an honor upon me. His lullaby meant more to me than any material possession; more than any workplace victory or account; more than any collection of words professing undying love. It was all there, set to a tune that was unique and mine alone.

My lips found his and I held on for dear life. Edward lifted me from the couch and somehow we made it to the bedroom. This time _I _wanted to show _him_ how much I adored him. Clothing was slowly discarded and bodies ached until they joined in the only way that was absolutely perfect.

_The fountains mingle with the river_

_And the rivers with the ocean,_

_The winds of Heaven mix for ever_

_With a sweet emotion;_

_Nothing in the world is single,_

_All things by a law divine_

_In one spirit meet and mingle-_

_Why not I with thine?_

As I moved over Edward, relishing the sensation of his skin against mine, I knew that my love for him was all-consuming. Nothing I could do would ever change it and this was how I wanted us to be. I could no longer discern where I ended and he began. It no longer frightened me.

_See the mountains kiss high Heaven_

_And the waves clasp one another;_

_No sister-flower would be forgiven_

_If it disdained its brother_

_And the sunlight clasps the earth,_

_And the moonbeams kiss the sea – _

_What are all these kissings worth_

_If thou kiss not me?_

Love and devotion were inevitable for both of us. I was foolish to ever think otherwise. He and I were slaves to it and each other; that was how it should always be. As my body, slick with a thin layer of sweat, slid over Edward's, I moaned and whispered my love for him over and over. With each gyration of my hips -- "I love you." After each fevered kiss --"I love you." With each vigorous thrust against him -- "I love you."

As I climaxed I collapsed on top of him, and when Edward flipped me onto my back I was relaxed and nearly limp from my exertion. Edward brought me over the edge once more before he followed, panting hard against my neck and peppering my hot skin with kisses.

"I have nothing to give you Edward," I said as we lay there breathing heavily as our hearts pounded. "I could never _begin _to bestow you a fraction of what you've given me."

Edward turned onto his side to face me, his bent arm propping up his head. I brushed a dampened patch of hair off his forehead and when I removed my hand the crooked smile was firmly in place.

"Bella, you give me everything just by breathing," he said. I rolled my eyes and laughed. A large, firm hand grasped my waist and pulled me across the few inches of sheet that separated us. "I'm serious. This is all I need -- right here."

"See -- you did it again," I said, kissing him in thanks. "You're something, Edward Cullen. I wish I could thank your mom for raising such a wonderful, thoughtful, sweet, honest, hard-working man."

Edward's cheeks only slightly gave away his embarrassment at my compliment, and he pulled me against the crook of his arm, tucking me against his side and pulling the covers over us.

"If you don't mind, I'm going to take a quick shower before I fall asleep, okay?" he asked, throwing the sheet away from his naked form. Edward stooped to kiss me once more and then disappeared into his bathroom. I flopped back onto my pillow and thanked my fucking lucky stars. This man loved me and despite all of my faults, wanted to be with me. Monday suddenly didn't seem to matter.

A buzzing sound shattered my internal musings and I slid out of bed to investigate. After a few moments, I realized the noise was coming from Edward's jeans and I slipped his cell phone from the back pocket.

_Two missed calls. One new text._

Internally, I warred with my ever-present insecurity. Who would be texting him on a Sunday night? All of our friends knew we were spending the weekend together. Would Jasper be calling to check in? Suddenly the thought occurred to me that if Alice had been trying unsuccessfully to reach me all weekend, she might have recruited her boyfriend. Checking my phone stashed securely in my purse, however, I quickly discovered that no one had been looking for _me_.

_Should I check it for him? Let him know someone had called? Was it an invasion of his privacy? Would he be angry?_

"Oh, just do it, you damn ninny," I said aloud to myself, flipping the phone open. The two missed calls were from an unfamiliar number with an out-of-state area code, so I knew it wasn't one of our friends. Reassuring myself that I was only doing this as a favor -- _I'll just pop my head into the bathroom to let him know the person called --_ I clicked on the text. My heart plummeted into my stomach.

_**Edward, hon – haven't heard from you in days. When r we mtg for lunch? Aro has some news. Can't wait 2 see u. -Tanya**_

Instantly, my mind raced with the myriad possibilities: Edward was still entertaining the thought of working for Aro. Tanya had been pursuing him…and maybe they were meeting for lunch. Aro was upping the ante and was going to make another, grander play for Edward through Tanya. The endless scenarios swirled in my head like a tornado, chaotic and highly destructive.

_Was Edward having an affair with Tanya? She obviously felt friendly enough with him to call him honey. "Can't wait to see you…" It certainly sounds like it's going to happen. What is going on here?_

The water in the bathroom turned off abruptly and I dropped the phone to the carpet. Quietly and hastily I picked it up and made a snap decision. I deleted the text and slipped the phone back into Edward's jeans. I ran and threw myself back onto the bed and moments later Edward emerged.

If it hadn't been for all of the Tanya shit, the sight of a wet, steamy Edward standing in another damn doorway would've been my undoing. I nearly confessed my sin as it was, just looking at him in that towel. But now I had other things on my mind.

"Hey," he said, giving me his best crooked smile and running his fingers through his hair. _Focus bad girl. Don't let him crack you._

"Hey yourself sexy," I said, steeling my resolve. _Come on. You didn't do anything wrong. Except intercept and delete a text. From a bitch who wants to lay him out and lick him from head to toe, most likely! And what's his role in all of this? _ "You coming back to bed?"

"Uh-huh. You still naked under those sheets?" Edward unwrapped the towel and slung it over his shoulder. _Dirty trick. Damn it. Does he know somehow? What the fuck?_

"You betcha," I said. "Wanna see for yourself?" He nodded but stood where he was. _Okay, fine. I'll show you then. _I flung back the covers and slid out of bed again, trying to even up the sexy score a bit. Damn it, I was going to erase Tanya from my mind, and I was certainly willing to use Edward's body to accomplish that. I sauntered over to him and ran my finger from his sternum down, stopping just above his now-erect cock. After a fevered kiss, complete with tongues and moaning, I broke away, much to Edward's obvious displeasure. My head just wasn't in it. _Fucking bitch Tanya._

"I'll be right out," I quipped and stepped around him and into the bathroom. Closing the door behind me I fell loudly against it. For a moment I just stood there breathing, trying not to flip the fuck out and demand an explanation. He wasn't acting strangely; if anything, he'd been even more wonderful this weekend than before -- which was saying a lot.

Truthfully, he hadn't had a chance to get his phone number changed as he had promised in Chicago. _Not that we couldn't have made a point to go together this weekend and get it changed._ Still, I couldn't fault him on that. He'd been with me every moment.

Tanya was clearly still trying to obtain Edward -- professionally and/or personally. I could practically see the text dripping with flirtation. But why was she in the area? How long was she staying? These were all things I needed to ascertain. Unfortunately I hadn't been able to enter her number into my phone. _Damn it._

Pushing the thoughts aside for the time being, I washed my face and brushed my teeth before turning out the light. The room was quiet and once I found my way to the bed, the soft, steady breathing coming from one side signaled that Edward was asleep.

I crept onto my side of the bed -- _my side_ -- and found Edward's face in the darkness. Kissing him lightly on the forehead, I whispered, "good night," and snuggled against his side. His arm wrapped around me, seemingly of its own accord, and I was asleep within minutes.

* * *

"Damn. Come on! Turn it off, please! What the fuck?"

The alarm on my cell phone, along with Edward's rather boisterous protests, startled me awake early Monday morning. I had set the alarm for five, knowing I'd need to get home, change and drive myself to work. _Work._ Inwardly I cringed with the knowledge that the day had indeed arrived. _Shit._ I jumped out of bed and stubbed my toe trying to reach for my purse. Not the best way to start the day. After silencing the rather obnoxious beeping I glanced over to the bed. Edward was lying on his back with a pillow over his face. It was a reaction that I expected, but it didn't prevent me from laughing at his expense.

"Sorry about that," I said. "Good morning sunshine." I tiptoed over to his side of the bed and pounced on him, wrapping us in sheets, pillows and each other. Edward managed to get the upper hand of course, despite being half-asleep, and pinned me on my back. After giving him a quick peck I took stock of his appearance: day-old stubble across his chin and jaw, super crazy-sexy bed head, sleepy green-blue eyes and grin. Always that grin.

"You're lucky I love you," he mumbled, kissing my chin. "Why up so damn early love?"

"It's Monday. Work. Remember?" I said, shaking him lightly. "I've got to get home too and pick up my car. Shit. Sorry -- would you mind giving me a ride to my place?"

My phone buzzed at that moment and I swung my leg over Edward and out of bed. It was Alice.

"Well, hello stranger," I said sarcastically. _She had planned this whole thing in her pretty little head._ I was sure of it. "Fancy you calling me this morning. Any chance you have a specific reason for wanting to hear my voice?"

"Hi Bella!" Alice sounded cheery and awake -- like she'd been awake for a while. _Damn Energizer Bunny probably doesn't even require sleep -- just a recharge._ "Get your butt dressed and get out here. I'm waiting outside to take you home before work. Get a move on it, sweetcakes!" She hung up the phone before I could even question how she had managed it.

Hurriedly I dressed in the first articles of clothing I could locate and shoved the rest of my things back into the overnight bag. Edward watched me flutter about the room, silent and reclined in bed.

"Alice is outside and waiting to take me home, so you're off the hook," I offered from the bathroom and I scooped my toiletries off the counter and into my bag. It would all be a mess when I got home, but I was suddenly in a hurry. Once I was packed, I suddenly regained my senses. Dropping my belongings by the bedroom door, I walked over to Edward and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Edward, thank you for this weekend," I said sincerely. I took another long look at him, committing him and the moment to memory, and kissed him hard. His hand found the back of my head and pulled me deeper into his mouth; it took every ounce of resolve to leave him there. Breaking our kiss I added, "I had a wonderful time. And we'll definitely do this again. It was perfect." With one more kiss, I stood and gathered my things.

"I love you," I said.

"Love you too Bella," he said.

"Back to reality," I added with a sigh. I blew him a kiss, told him I'd let myself out, and as I walked down the stairs said, "I'll see you at the office."

In moments I was out the door and running to Alice's waiting sports car. As soon as my ass was in the seat she peeled away from the curb and we were hurtling through the deserted streets.

"Thanks for picking me up Alice, but Edward could've brought me home," I said as I held onto the dashboard.

"Oh no -- I wanted to get some time alone with you, so it was my pleasure," she whispered excitedly. _Oh shit._ "So…how did your weekend go? Did you find the treats I left you in the bag? Did you _wear_ them? Oh please, Bella, tell me you wore them."

"Yes, Alice, I did try one -- the blue one -- and it was a big hit," I offered. She giggled. I cringed. "We had a great weekend; it was just so nice to be with him. Thanks for orchestrating that. I know you did, so don't even give me your pretend innocence bullshit."

For once her mouth remained closed, though a wide grin stretched it a bit, and she nodded. We talked a bit more about our first weekend together -- dinner, relaxing, food shopping -- and the entire time Alice stared at me, pie-eyed and cooing. There was no mention of the text and Tanya; I just didn't want to bring it up. I asked Alice about her weekend and true to form, she had spent it with Jasper. Things between them seemed to be pretty serious and it made me happy to see her so happy. We talked about the U2 concert and that evening in general.

"Bella, I really like Edward," she said as we neared my neighborhood. "I mean I've liked him from the start, but I was watching him Friday night, and I just know he's special. He really loves you. Don't fuck this up, _please_ B? Keep this one. I want to keep him."

"Thanks Alice for your vote of confidence," I snarked. "That's my plan, you know. I want to keep him. We love each other and we're taking things as they come. But I feel good about it."

This time Alice couldn't contain herself and squealed with delight. She pulled up to my building and I hopped out. Before shutting the door I thanked her and told her I'd speak to her soon. Being the intuitive little vixen, though, she added, "Yes. Call me tonight! I want to know how work goes!"

An hour later and I was showered, dressed and feeling like myself again. At this rate, I'd be in the office by 7:30, which was good. I needed to catch up on lots and knew the quiet time an early arrival afforded me would be golden.

I pulled into my usual reserved space at the office and took the stairs to our floor. It felt good to be back. I was the first to arrive.

* * *

The morning quickly gained momentum and before long, S&P was bustling with people and usual Monday morning activity. Esme and I had a quick meeting to catch up and then we were scheduled for the weekly status meeting. _Edward and I._ My heart leapt into my throat as I thought about him for the first time since leaving him in bed.

"Ms. Swan, are you ready?"

Jessica's high-pitched whine snapped me out of my stupor. She stood in my doorway with a cup of coffee in her hand and a stack of new client files.

"Yes, of course," I said, standing and smoothing my skirt. "Thank you Jessica." I took the coffee and files and we walked down the hall together toward the conference room. I pretended not to notice the shock that flickered across her face and then disappeared.

With all of the work to catch up on, it had been easy to avoid Edward until now. And I hadn't prepared myself at all for facing him in that conference room. Still, I was a goddamned professional; I could more than handle myself. _Do not think about Tanya -- anything but that bitch. _

Jessica lingered in the doorway and I walked confidently to the head of the table and sat down. The account execs immediately ceased their individual conversations and looked to the front of the room with a certain measure of surprise. After all, I'd handed these meetings over to Edward months ago.

"Good morning all," I said firmly, still avoiding the emerald gaze to my immediate right. "I know you've all become accustomed to…Mr. Cullen running these meetings, so I won't take up much time this morning. Quickly I'd just like updates from you all on your new and existing accounts so that he and I can get up to speed on what's transpired over the last week."

The execs obediently provided Edward and I with their account status reports, and as quickly as I could, I excused myself. Turns out all I could think about was our weekend together -- and Tanya's text -- and neither were helping me concentrate.

As soon as my office door was closed, I launched into full panic mode. This morning had given me a temporary reprieve from consideration of the text and phone calls. _Did Edward see the missed calls and call her back? Would she have mentioned the text? What should I do about this?_

What bothered me was that I was more annoyed with the idea of Tanya pursuing Edward romantically than with the notion Aro was still trying to woo him away from Swan & Platte. And _that_, in turn, concerned me. _Edward was mine._ _Hello bitchy, territorial, jealous Bella._

"Hello? Can I come in?" A soft knock and a muffled voice cleared the fog from my brain, and I cracked my office door to see him standing there, looking gorgeous as always. _Fuck. I can't do this right now._ But my hand opened the door and my head nodded in reply even as my foolish heart wanted to run away.

Edward stepped so close to me that instinctively I stepped back, and he shut the door behind him. I had to give him credit; his face was a perfect picture of composure and professional disinterest. It drove me a little crazy; I wanted to rip his clothes off.

"Hi," he reiterated, stepping toward me again. And again, I stepped back. He seemed to comprehend the gesture this time, and let his hands fall limply to his sides as he stood there. "I didn't get a chance to tell you -- I had a great time this weekend."

I just stood there like a fucking idiot, because really, what else could I do? No kissing, no hugging, no touching. So I was out of ideas.

"Listen, I realize we never discussed…ground rules…for coming back to work and everything," Edward added, running his hand through his hair. He was obviously nervous and despite aching to tell him it was no big deal and that we'd play it by ear, I was silent. I couldn't tell him those things; it wasn't like me. So of course I fucked it up by opening my mouth.

"Well, for starters, I think we should act as we always have. As if nothing has changed," I said, my voice icy. _Shit_. "I mean…we have to act…the same. Especially me. If I don't, people will know something's up."

I swore that I saw his shoulders slump with the impact of my words. He was going to have to put up with the Bitch Boss from Hell again; he was definitely thinking something along those lines, at least. But how was I going to pull it off? Being a total bitch to the man I loved did not sit so well with me.

"Edward, I don't _relish_ the idea of being…like that," I whispered, unable to label myself with the title he had once bestowed. "But we need to keep up appearances. There's no way in hell I'm going to willingly attract that kind of attention -- to either of us." He nodded but said nothing else.

I straightened up and smoothed my skirt. "Mr. Cullen, if you could provide me with updates on your personal accounts by the day's end, that would be appreciated," I said, my voice sounding foreign and distant, even to me.

"Of course, Ms. Swan," he replied, his sad eyes betraying his even voice. "I'll get right on it." And he turned on his heel, opened my office door and was gone without so much as a backward glance.

Once I was alone again, I wracked my brain for something, anything to get me out of this fucked up situation. How the hell was I going to pull this off? Thankfully, at that moment my brain threw me a bone and delivered Tanya's text in all its glory, like it was being projected on a giant screen.

For the next four days, I piled on the work, threw Edward into countless account meetings all over the city and even made him get me coffee. That might have been pushing it. In retrospect, I was probably going out of my way to be a bitch, but I had a reputation to uphold, a company to run and both of our careers and reputations riding on my ability to play a part.

The weekend was fast approaching and Friday afternoon I had sent Edward on a wild goose chase, visiting a number of local printers. After the brochure debacle, I'd wanted to solicit new companies, and getting Edward out of the office and away from me killed two birds with one proverbial stone.

In anticipation of having Edward back to my place tonight for pizza and beer, I'd called Rose and Alice and asked them if they minded a rain check this week. Alice, of course, was ecstatic to spend the evening with Jasper. Rose's voice suggested she was slightly miffed, but she covered it well and told me that Emmett had tickets to a Capitals hockey game -- box seats -- so she wasn't going to be available anyways.

On her way out of the office for the weekend, Esme popped her head into my office and I mentioned the change in plans.

"Oh, that sounds like a wonderful idea B," she enthused. "Carlisle's shift doesn't end until tomorrow afternoon, so it'll be nice to just relax with a good book and a glass of pinot. On that note, have a great weekend and have fun tonight hon." She blew me a kiss and walked down the hall.

The office was eerily quiet as I continued to work. With most of the computers off in the other offices, the air was still and heavy and I jumped in my seat when the central air kicked on. The blast of warmer air sent a shiver down my spine, reminding me that it was in fact November.

I heard the distinct clank of metal against the glass doors to the office and moments later a very disheveled and frustrated Edward kicked at my slightly ajar door with his foot and immediately entered my office. His arms were laden with folders, glossy brochures, booklets and some other items I assumed came from printers; a few items slipped from his grasp and fluttered to the floor as he dumped them rather unceremoniously onto my desk.

"Here. I did all of your fucking errands like a good boy," he spat. "I sincerely hope it was worth it, Bella."

Edward was fucking pissed. It hadn't taken much. Before we were together he'd been much more tolerant of my bullshit and bossiness. Apparently he thought things were going to be easier now. Did I want that? Absolutely. But that was not reality. And I needed to remind him of that before he exposed us.

"First of all, lower your voice," I whispered harshly. "I don't want anyone to hear you swearing at me like that. Second of all, you can't call me by my first name here."

For the first time in two weeks, Edward looked like he was about to explode, and I cringed at the familiar look. I'd gotten used to _not _seeing that expression.

"Look Edward, I'm really sorry," I began, taking note of how lame it sounded. "If you have better ideas for how to deal with this situation, I'm all ears. But after work; it's not safe to discuss things like that here."

"No one else is here, so don't worry," he said harshly, running his fingers angrily through his hair. Suddenly I noticed he seemed more upset than he should be over being sent on a printer hunt. "Can't we just…be normal here? Fuck. Why is this so hard?"

"Hard? It has to be hard because I'm your _boss_, Edward," I snapped, suddenly just as angry. _Why is he mad at me? This shouldn't have come as a surprise to him. Maybe he'd like to go work for Aro after all. Fuck it._ "If they find out that you're fucking your boss, how do you think that'll go over, huh? Do you really think they'll have any respect for you or me? Everything I've worked for will have been for nothing, and your reputation and mine will be destroyed. So I'm sorry this is so _hard_ on you, Edward, but it's hard on me too. And I have no fucking idea what to do about it."

Resentment and fear flowed through my veins with every frantic beat of my heart. Edward was keeping things from me -- rather important things, in my opinion -- and I was too much of a coward to confront him. He was angry about something, and all I could assume was that he didn't like slipping back into the subordinate role now that we were back in Seattle.

"Nothing's ever going to change, is it?"

It was so quiet, I almost didn't hear it.

"What? What do you mean," I asked. "What are you talking about?"

Edward heaved an exaggerated sigh and fell into one of my office chairs.

"This," he said, gesturing, "…isn't going to change. You're afraid, and I can't change that, can I?" I just stared at him, disbelieving where this conversation might be going. _We are not having this conversation right now._

"Edward, I…"

"No, you need to listen!" he exclaimed, interrupting me and holding up his hand as he jumped out of his seat. "Admit it. You don't do any of this posturing for my benefit. It's all for you -- always has been. You're so damn afraid of being hurt that you don't see anything or anyone else. And you certainly can't get out of your own fucking way. I know this isn't just about 'fucking the boss.' There's still a big piece of you locked away somewhere in there, but it doesn't matter what I do, does it?"

His accusations were a slap to my face and my hackles were instantly up as I countered.

"Wait just a fucking minute," I said, enraged. "Let's talk about who's afraid and who's hiding things, shall we?" I took a step toward him and poked him in the chest as hard as I could manage with my finger. "I've been nothing but forthcoming with you in regards to our romantic and work relationships. Too bad you haven't managed to give me the same courtesy."

"Wh-what?" Edward stammered. "What the hell are you talking about?" I had him cornered and I knew it. The competitive, bitchy beast in me thrilled as this knowledge coursed through my body.

"What did Aro offer you? Huh? You've obviously been in contact -- maybe more than contact -- with Tanya since Chicago. She seemed to be pretty taken with you and was practically begging for you to go out with her," I sneered. "So is there anything you'd like to tell _me_?"

"How'd you…" he began.

I cut him off, answering, "Sunday night while you were in the shower, she sent you a text. I erased it."

For a moment Edward stood a foot away from me, my finger still pushing into his chest. Even through his silk tie I could feel the plastic of the shirt buttons. I memorized the feeling as I waited for an explanation, my finger rising and falling with his chest as he huffed. We were staring each other down, neither of us willing to bend. There was fire in Edward's emerald eyes; it made their depths even darker than usual.

"Unbelievable," he seethed. "You're calling the shots; you have been from the beginning. God! Why didn't I fucking see this? Well, now _I'm _going to call one of my own. I'm won't do this anymore. Damn it Bella! I love you so much. But you're so damn proud and stubborn and fucked up that you're willing to throw it away for _perception_ and what things _appear_ to be!

"You're never going to stop torturing yourself, are you? It will never be enough. You will ever be enough. _I _will never be enough. Bella, I gave you all of me. I deserve the same from you. This is over."

The torrent of words flowed from his mouth like a flood, slamming into me, and I choked and swallowed them. The air in my lungs seemed to leak out of my pores; I was having trouble taking a steady breath. It puzzled me to consider that I might be having some sort of physical reaction as the man I loved informed me he was systematically removing himself from my life.

Finally I sucked in a decent bit of air and decided to use it to my advantage. It might be my last opportunity to plead for us.

"Edward, please…don't do this," I croaked. My fingers instinctively sought him, but he stepped out of reach and closer to the door. Again I begged, "Please…you can't…I won't…_Edward_."

But he shook his head and turned away from me. I was paralyzed with fear that I'd just witnessed the final straw, the last insult that broke him. And it fractured me into a fucking million pieces to know that I did this to him. To us. The air in the room was being sucked out as I struggled not to crumple, and Edward seemed to debate his next move.

"I've got to get out of here," he muttered, most likely to himself. With one last look, he added, "Please know that I'm doing this for you," and then he walked out.

The breath I'd been holding rushed out of my lungs and I doubled over, using my desk to keep me upright. For what seemed like hours, I focused on my breathing -- in and out; in and out -- and tried in earnest to determine how I'd fucked this up so badly. But my brain was incapable of reason. I stumbled to the phone and dialed instinctively.

"Bella? Hi hon! What's up?" I couldn't reply immediately, choking back tears and hiccupping into the receiver. "Bella! What's wrong? What happened? Talk to me sweetheart! Are you alright?"

"Esme…" I managed. "He…h-he left. It's o-over." I needed to sit down. This was not happening. What had I done?

"Bella, try to calm down and breathe," she said quietly. "Who left?"

"E-Edward. He s-said…it's over."

"Okay, okay," she said, and I imagined if she were here she'd be smoothing my hair as she said those words. It made me want my mother. The realization brought fresh tears to my eyes, and this time I couldn't staunch them. "Honey, can you drive?"

"Mmm-hmmm."

"Okay, then can you make it to my house? Why don't you come on over sweetheart," she suggested. "Just lock up and come over. I'll take care of you."

Robotically I gave her an "okay" and hung up; then I shut off the lights, gathered my coat and briefcase and locked the doors behind me. Sitting behind the wheel, I suddenly wondered how I'd gotten into the garage so quickly. _Get a grip, and just get to Esme's. _I slowly pulled out of the parking garage and made my way to her house.

As soon as I pulled into her driveway, the front door opened and she met me at my car, opening the door for me. She captured me in an embrace, and it broke the slight hold I had on my self-control. The tears spilled silently and unabated as Esme rubbed my back and murmured, "Shhh…it's going to be okay," over and over again.

She brought me into her house and sat me on the couch with tissues and a glass of water. Esme sat in front of me on the ottoman and quietly asked me to tell her what had happened. After I had recounted the events as clearly as I could remember them, she was silent. And I was scared. I knew it was my fault; I couldn't bear to hear the words slip from Esme's mouth, so I spoke first.

"Esme, I really screwed up," I whispered. My eyes focused intently on the tissue balled in my hand. "I know I did this. You don't have to say anything. I just needed to…I didn't want to be alone."

"It's alright Bella; I'm glad you called me," she answered. "Why don't you just sit and relax here for a while, okay? Feel like pasta for dinner?" I nodded weakly in thanks and she patted my leg and disappeared into the kitchen.

Exhausted, I laid down after discarding my heels and pulled a throw over myself. Esme, by not saying anything about who was at fault, had essentially agreed with me. Always the mother, though, I knew she loved me unconditionally. _I am going to fix this mess. _Esme deserved better. Within minutes I felt myself tumble toward sleep, but not before I heard her phone ring.

"Hello? Yes. Oh hi," she said, the last part of her greeting in a hushed tone. "Oh, hon, please don't worry about that. I don't think you've put me in the middle of anything. Yes, she's here and she told me what happened." There was marked silence for a few minutes, and I strained to eavesdrop. "I understand completely Edward, and I wholeheartedly agree. Yes. Of course. I would expect nothing less from you. Bella? Don't worry about her. She has the whole weekend to think about this. I will. Good. I'll see you on Monday Edward. Good-bye."

My heart leapt at the knowledge that I hadn't driven Edward to quit. _Again._ But that also meant I'd have to face him on Monday…as his ex-girlfriend? How was I going to do that? _Fuck._ Honestly, how could I? What would I say? How would I act _normal_ -- nice or not -- to him, after what had transpired? How could the two of us continue working side by side?

There were too many questions now. Too many uncertainties. As I laid there listening to Esme make me dinner, one thing became clear.

I needed to get out of Seattle. Now.

_A/N: Now please don't all send me the hate reviews all at once! Bella needs a reality check -- a real one -- and Edward's just the one to give it to her. See - even Sweetward has his limits. Get ready for some real soul-searching from Bella...with the help of her friends and family. And please trust me -- I know what I'm doing! :) The poem in this chapter was_ Love's Philosophy _by_ Percy Bysshe Shelley.

_**Don't forget to leave any suggestions for my one-shot on the forum thread or in your review/comments! **_


	26. Chapter 26: Growing pains

_Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just decided it was time to shake things up a bit in her characters' world. And I wanted a bitchy Bella, so here we go! _

_Oh, and all of the references used in this story in relation to the advertising and marketing company and accounts are only used here for entertainment purposes; no copyright infringement intended._

_Thank you to the following people: Angelicwish, who has gone above and beyond the call of duty to provide this insecure writer with loads of feedback, advice, beta services and great conversations; Lita for coming back to me (*waves hi*) and to Jen – I'm so glad we reconnected! Love you! _

_Sorry for the lengthy delay, my loves! My comp broke so I was confined to writing at work…which did not work out so well, obviously. I hope the longer chapter makes up for it!_

_In case any of you are wondering, here are some fics that are completely devastating me right now (please go check them out on FanFiction or Twilighted) – Expectations and Other Moving Pieces by chrometurtle; Tre by my sweetie Megsly (update soon!); The Blessing and the Curse by The_Black_Arrow and The Misapprehension of Bella Swan (Regarding the Inferior Intellect of Hockey Whores) by hunterhunting. My list of favorites is getting ridiculous. Just read these. You're welcome._

_A hello as well to sassygirl156 for naming Sweetward! Aww. A special thank you to Forever_Liz, Megsly and barburella, and my new ficwife SusanAshlea for being awesome in general._

_I'm not going to lie to you, because that's not my style. This chapter _won't_ be lemony piece of cake. Just so ya know._

_Follow me on Twitter people! LauraLoo77_

**Chapter Twenty-six: Growing pains**

My mind was clear, the decision made. As soon as I'd eaten and thanked Esme for a delicious impromptu meal, I excused myself and raced home, yelling as I ran out that I'd call her later. My townhouse was eerily quiet, but I ignored that sad fact and started packing. Random items were thrown into my duffel bag: jeans, shorts, jackets, sweaters, t-shirts. I didn't waste any time considering the dreary weather in Forks. Then I called Charlie.

"Hey, Bells! How ya doing? What's going on?" My father's voice was like a cup of cocoa on a cold winter day, and I smiled in silent reply before answering him.

"Hi, Dad. I'm okay," I began, unsure of how to broach the subject and explain my plan. "I'm sorry to call you so late. Are you busy?"

"Nah. I was just watching the Seahawks get whooped by the Giants," he said with a sigh."It's just not their year. So what's new honey?"

"Well, that's kind of why I'm calling," I said. _Come on girl. Just suck it up and spit it out._ "I was wondering if…I was thinking I'd come out for a visit for a few days."

"Really? Bells, that's great! You haven't been home in…" Charlie didn't finish his sentence, but the implication was clear. I hadn't been home in ages. "Bella, is everything alright? Not that I don't appreciate you wanting to visit, but what's the occasion?"

Charlie had always been a good cop and a very observant one at that; it was what made him a great police chief. _Shit. "Never bullshit a cop, kiddo," he'd always said._

"Well, I just think I need a little R and R, you know? A little time away from work to clear my head and take stock of things," I said. It wasn't a lie. It just wasn't the entire truth. "And I just thought it might be nice to visit." I threw that last part in for effect, knowing full well that Charlie Swan couldn't say no to his daughter.

"Of course, honey," he answered quickly. "When you coming?"

I hesitated briefly before answering, fearful that my urgency would tip him off to a larger problem. But what else could I do? The need to flee was overwhelming.

"Would tonight be too late, Dad?" I asked hesitantly, before quickly adding, "I just thought it would be nice to have breakfast at the diner in the morning – before you go fishing."

My father always went fishing early Saturday mornings. It was his only day off and it was tradition. Silently I bet everything on that ritual and its ability to keep my real motivation concealed for the time being.

"Sure, Bells," he said after a moment. I carefully released the breath I'd been holding. "I haven't cleaned your room or anything, so I'll make up the couch for you, just for the night, okay?"

"Sounds great, Dad – really," I said enthusiastically. At that moment, I would have slept on the floor or in my car. As long as it wasn't in Seattle. "I'm going to be on the road shortly, and I'll call you when I'm close, okay?" Charlie seemed excited to see me, despite the tangible hesitation in his voice. Or maybe I was just feeling guilty; I couldn't be sure. Before I hung up I thanked him and said I'd see him soon, and then gathered my things and headed for the door.

Three-and-a-half long hours later I pulled my Audi into the driveway. As usual, it was drizzling; the weather in Forks seemed oblivious to the fact that it was November and cold enough for snow. As I got out of the car and stretched, I saw my father's silhouette in the curtained window and I smiled in spite of myself.

Pulling my jacket collar closer to my skin, I walked toward the house with optimism and a hefty dose of nostalgia. _This will be good for me._ Charlie opened the door before I could even get my hand on the latch, and for a moment he stood in the doorway just looking at me. If I hadn't been accustomed to his demeanor, it might have been awkward. _But that's Charlie._

"Hey, Dad," I simply said. His eyes twinkled in the porch light, his tongue darting out nervously to wet his lips under his mustache.

"Hey, Bells," he answered, reaching for my bag. As I handed it to him, he backed up so I could cross the threshold into the house. There were a few moments of loaded silence -- he was most likely sizing me up, trying to ascertain my real motivations for the visit; I was doing my damndest not to give myself away -- and then he pulled me into a hug.

"It's good to see you," he said, tightening his grip on me. I couldn't help myself; I reveled in the warmth of his hug and the familiar smells of his aftershave and our house. I was home.

"It's good to see you too, Dad. I hope I wasn't keeping you up late," I offered as we walked inside. Charlie deposited my bag by the stairs and walked to the fridge, offering me a beer. I nodded and sat at the kitchen table.

"Nah," he responded, popping the top of the Vitamin R. I hated the beer, but it was a local brew and his favorite, so I decided to suck it up this time. I popped the top of my can and took a long pull. _Fucking gross._

"So are you going fishing with Billy or Harry tomorrow," I asked, grasping for light conversation. If I could just get through the beer and excuse myself to the couch, I'd be fine.

"Billy," he said, taking a swig. More silence.

"What time you going?"

"Same time as always -- six a.m. You sure you want to have breakfast before I leave? I could wake you up when I get back or something," he suggested.

"No, that's okay, Dad," I said. "I wanted us to go out for breakfast…like we use to."

Charlie drained his beer and got up to throw it in the recycling bin. I took his lead and finished mine as well, rising to throw it into the plastic bin. Suddenly I was exhausted, but refused to consider the reasons for my weariness.

"Dad, if it's okay I think I'm going to go to bed."

"Right. You must be tired," he said. "I left sheets and blankets on the couch for you. Tomorrow I'll clean the stuff out of your room for you. Sorry I didn't get to do it."

"It's fine, Dad," I said. "I'll start in on it tomorrow morning after breakfast. No big deal." Charlie stood quietly between the kitchen and living room, seeming unsure. When I was finished making up my bed, I walked over to him and kissed him on the cheek.

"Why don't you get to bed? Wake me in the morning for breakfast, okay? And thanks."

"Welcome, Bells." And he turned and went upstairs. I collapsed onto the couch, not even bothering to take off my jeans and sweatshirt. Absentmindedly I kicked off my shoes and flipped on the TV. I was asleep within minutes to the sights and sounds of Iron Chef.

The aroma of freshly brewed coffee woke me bright and early the next morning, and as I stretched I took note of the darkness in the living room. The only light poured from the light over the kitchen sink and I sought it out -- along with the promise of caffeine -- like a bloodhound.

"Morning," my father chirped. He'd always been a morning person. "Sleep well?"

"Morning," I answered as I stumbled toward the coffee pot. "Yeah. Slept like a baby."

With a cup of hot coffee stimulating my senses, I took a quick shower and got dressed in jeans and a thermal, and we went to breakfast at the local diner. It was Charlie's favorite place to eat and I thought it fitting that we have breakfast there like old times. We sat at a booth and ordered minutes later. The waitress, Gina, remarked on how grown up I had become and made some comment to Charlie about doing a good job. I stared at my coffee cup. _If she only knew._

"So, Bells, you gonna tell me why you're really here?"

The question startled me, but it didn't shock me in the slightest. I'd been waiting for it, in fact. There was never any doubt in my mind that he'd see through my bullshit. But shit, did he ever cut to the chase. For a few moments, I couldn't respond. Truthfully, I had no idea where to start. And to his credit, Charlie used that silence against me. It grew heavy, uncomfortable, more of a burden than the one I was carrying. So I spilled my guts.

"Well, Dad, I was dating this guy -- Edward -- and I screwed it up and he dumped me…I think." I said quickly and in one breath. It hurt less if I did it that way, I discovered. My father seemed to take it all in as he sipped his coffee. I grimaced into mine.

"Uh-huh," was all he said.

"And, um, well I kind of work with him. He works _for_ me, I mean. We used to despise each other and then we kind of got together during a conference and then I didn't know how to act when we came back to the office. I was mean, and I think it was the last straw, and he said a lot of things. And I said some nasty things and Edward left. It was going to be weird. I just wanted to give him some space." At this point I didn't even know if I was making sense. Saying all of it out loud gave it all meaning, and suddenly I realized how careless I'd been. "I have no idea what I'm doing."

Charlie chuckled softly at that comment, but said nothing more, as Gina arrived with our breakfast. We ate silently, only the sounds of clinking silverware and chewing punctuating the space. Again, it wouldn't have been uncomfortable in the least -- Charlie didn't talk much -- if I hadn't just revealed my burden. Still, once we had finished, I expected there to be something. A few words of reprimand or admonishment. Even words of encouragement that it would work out. _Isn't that what dads do? Comfort their kids, even if the outlook is bleak?_ Nothing.

We rode back to the house -- in his police cruiser, no less -- in silence and by that time I wanted to scream. His non-reaction spoke volumes, just as Esme's had. No comment meant only one thing -- I was going to get a lecture at some point. _Well, I probably had at least one coming to me. This is like being back in high school and getting caught coming home after curfew._

"Dad, I didn't come here to cry on your shoulder and ask for pity or forgiveness," I said. "I really did come to see you, and to put some space between me, Edward and this mess."

"I know you didn't, Bella. You've never been one for needless crying," he said, a smile tugging up one corner of his mouth under his mustache. "But you can't run away from your problems by coming here."

I nodded in automatic agreement, without letting the words sink in right away. Shutting the door, I told Charlie I'd see him later and he nodded and said goodbye. As the cruiser rumbled down the road, I stood there watching it until he turned and disappeared. With the whole day ahead of me, I decided to make use of myself and clean my old room. But first, I needed to call Esme and Alice.

"Oh, Bella, hi," Esme said after picking up on the second ring. The worry in her voice was palatable. "Where are you?"

"Hi, Esme. I'm at my dad's in Forks," I said. "I'm going to stay the weekend, and maybe take a day or two next week if that's okay with you. I just need to figure out some things and keep my distance. I think it's in everyone's best interest."

"Okay. That's fine," Esme said. "Do whatever you need to. I'll hold down the fort and with me and…Edward…everything will be taken care of, so there's no need for you to stress out. Just keep in touch, okay?"

I agreed and told her she could reach me on my cell at any time and reminded her of a few client appointments that she'd either have to reschedule or give to Edward.

"Bella? Just so you know, Edward didn't quit or anything."

"I'm glad, Es," I said, not bothering to hide my relief. "I hope I'm doing the right thing. Should I call him?"

"B, I have confidence that you _will_ do the right thing," she said. "And no, I don't think that's a good idea. Give him time…and some space. I'll let you know how things go on Monday, okay?" And like that, I knew Esme didn't want to discuss it further. I couldn't blame her; and I certainly didn't want her getting caught in the middle of this as a mediator or go-between. We said our goodbyes with the plan to talk on Monday.

Next I dialed Alice, knowing full well that the volume on my phone would need to be turned down. As usual, she didn't disappoint.

"Bella, what the fuck happened? I want to hear _every_ detail and tell me first where the hell you are!" The shrill voice on the other end instantly made my palms sweat. Alice was definitely going to read me the riot act. I carefully told her what had transpired the day before and apologized for not calling her sooner.

"All right, so let me get this straight," she began, while I leaned against the kitchen counter for support. "You and Edward were all lovey-dovey and then this past week you played the whole 'BitchyBoss' role and when he confronted you about it you threw a text from Tanya in his face and accused him of not being honest with you? A text that he didn't even know existed? And you blamed him for practically sleeping with her, when you really don't have any information to suggest that, and he got angry? Finally, the guy -- this nice, thoughtful, caring, sweet guy who puts up with your endless shit and badgering -- gets mad at you and calls you on your bullshit and fuckery. And you find fault with him anyways, and then he walks out on you? Did I get it?"

"Um, y-yes."

"Well, okay. For a minute there I thought I was losing my fucking mind," she seethed. "For a moment I thought that my best friend, who I love dearly despite being a neurotic control freak, had decided she was going to throw away the best thing that ever happened to her over a goddamned _text_! Thank goodness I was wrong."

The sudden silence on the other end of the phone was deafening, given the volume of Alice's voice just seconds before. I was speechless and shocked, afraid to utter another word until I was sure the torrent of word-vomit spewing from Alice was finished.

"Bella? What do you have to say?"

"Alice, what can I say?"

"Oh you've got to do better than that, honey," she snapped. "How _could_ you?"

Those words cut me like a knife, and my arm buckled under the weight of her accusation and plea. As my elbow hit the counter, I finally felt the tears. _I had done this to Edward and me. Bella Swan – relationship saboteur. _Alice was right, of course. My father was right. Esme was right. It was entirely my fault. _Again._

"I…I did this, Alice," I mumbled, blinking wildly to stem the tears. "It wasn't about the text at all. Shit. He didn't even fucking know about it. And I threw it in his face and used it against him. Why did I do this?"

"I have no idea, but you had better think long and hard about it," she lectured. "Bella, you know I love you, but this _has_ to stop. I get it, really I do. Sam, James and Paul broke your heart. All of that leaves a mark on a person. But B, you've carried this shit around with you for so long. Edward doesn't deserve this. He's not one of them, so stop treating him like he's going to hurt you. Stop apologizing for who you are and who you aren't, okay? He's never asked that of you. Honey, you need to let it go."

_"You need to let it go."_

Alice's last words found their mark. But it was too late.

"Alice, it's too late," I said, echoing my defeated thoughts. "I pushed and pushed, and Edward finally pushed back. How can I ask him to forgive me for all that I've put him through?" I sank into a kitchen chair and my tears fell freely, splashing onto the Formica.

"I don't know, Bella," she answered honestly. "But if he means anything to you, you need to try."

"He means _everything_ to me," I whispered sadly.

"Then whatever you do, don't give up," Alice suggested. "Listen hon, I hate to do this but I have to go. Rose and I are meeting up for lunch."

"Oh yeah?" I couldn't disguise the disappointment in my voice at being left out. It might have been a bit childish to react that way, but I wished I could go with them.

"Yeah. Rose said she has some…um, news," Alice finished quietly, as if she regretted adding the last part. "I'm sure it's nothing. She probably wants to tell me about the latest dieting craze she's discovered. Silly woman."

"Well, please tell her that if it's more than that, I expect to get a phone call as soon as _you_ know," I said, trying to be enthusiastic at the notion that it probably _wasn't_ what Alice claimed. "Okay, Alice?"

"Absolutely," she said, assuring me. "And Bella? Take it easy this weekend and use the time to decompress, okay? You need a little break from it all."

"Thanks, Alice. I will, don't worry," I answered. "I love you. Thanks for putting up with me."

"I love you too, honey. That's what friends are for, right?"

Throughout the remainder of the morning and far into the afternoon I worked on restoring my old bedroom to its former "glory." I cleared old papers and magazines off the bed and desk (and every other inch of flat surface, it seemed), washed the bed linens and curtains, vacuumed and dusted. After washing the windows, the natural light shining into my room brightened it considerably. Around two o'clock I took a break to get something to drink and eat, having worked up a good sweat and appetite.

As I sat at the small kitchen table eating my PB&J, I decided to make Charlie dinner as a sort of peace offering. _Maybe he'll go easier on me with a healthy serving of lasagna in his stomach._ With lunch eaten and my room presentable, I took a quick shower and left the house to head to the grocery store.

I managed to get through the store without being noticed by anyone. The owner, Sue, had known Charlie and me for years, but thankfully she didn't appear to be working. Today I just didn't feel like being sociable. As I rounded the corner to the last aisle with only bread remaining on my list, a vaguely familiar dark head of hair stopped me dead in my tracks. _It couldn't be._ Instinctively I turned to hide in the next aisle, but before I could make it a deep voice called my name doubtfully.

"Bella?"

_Shit. Not now._

Slowly I turned, and my fears were confirmed. He stood in the middle of the aisle I had tried to flee, a loaf of Italian bread in his hand, now forgotten. His face said it all; he was more than surprised to see me. I smiled and waved, hoping that would suffice, but the slow smile that lit his dark features told me it wouldn't.

"Hi…Sam."

"Bella, what the…I mean, how are you?" Sam started walking toward me, and my feet moved toward him, seemingly on their own. "I haven't seen you in ages!"

"I'm good, thanks," I answered meekly, once we were standing a few feet apart. "It's been years, I know." Part of me itched to ask him what was new in his life. The rest of me was afraid to hear his answer. _Why? It's been more than ten years._

"So, what brings you back to our neck of the woods?" Of course, his question was very innocent, but my brain scampered to come up with a dazzling answer. No luck.

"Thought I'd take a little break from work and visit Charlie," I replied. "Brief change of scenery, you know?"

"Workin' for the man getting you down, eh," Sam asked with a glint in his eye. "I know what you mean…"

"No. I actually own a PR and marketing firm with my partner, Esme," I blurted out, interrupting him. It was like I had something to prove. I wasn't working for "the man," after all. "Business has been so steady. I just needed to catch my breath."

After the look of slight shock faded away, Sam asked me about my work. We stood in the aisle talking for a good ten minutes. It was surprising how quickly we fell into comfortable conversation. It was almost normal. I started to ask Sam about him and what he did for a living, when two similarly-dark-haired children came screeching around the corner, smacking into Sam's legs.

"I won! I won!" exclaimed the girl, taller than the little boy who I assumed was her brother. "Daddy, tell Em I won!"

"Nuh-uh. Leah, you cheated," huffed the little boy, breathless from his race. "No tripping allowed." Sam laughed quietly and looked up at me with an apologetic grin. The two children, at having received no call from their referee, finally cast their eyes on me.

"Please excuse these two. It's difficult to keep them under control with aisles of race track in here," Sam said with a chuckle, mussing the boy's hair. "Embry and Leah, please say hello to Bella Swan. She and I went to high school together. Bella, these are my kids."

The trademark dark eyes and hair gave them away far before introductions, of course, but seeing his children staring at me with interest, and knowing there at least _had been_ a wife or mother caused my heart to constrict. _But just the smallest bit._

"Embry and Leah, it's so nice to meet you both," I said, recovering quickly and putting on a smile. "Your dad and I go way back. And, just for the record, I don't think tripping _is_ allowed in grocery store races."

Sam's booming laugh surrounded us, and my "call" launched another round of complaints from Leah and triumphant cries from Embry.

"But maybe your mom should make the final ruling," I suggested, shamelessly trying to sniff out information. Sam looked down at the two kids wrapped around his legs and nodded.

"True. You guys know Mom will want to hear _all_ about this," he said sarcastically. Leah and Embry groaned and simultaneously started pleading him not to tell. Internally, I wondered if it mattered to me who he'd married. Given the children's bronzed skin and dark features, I guessed his wife had the same striking traits.

"Emily's at home," Sam said, as if he were reading my mind. "She's kind of, um, too big to go food shopping, so I'm doing it for her." Leah looked at me and motioned with her hands -- with cheeks puffed out for effect -- that her mother had a very large belly.

"Wow, Sam, that's great," I remarked -- honestly. "When's she due?"

"In a week or so, actually," he said. "At this point she's so uncomfortable that I just do anything I can to stay out of her way." He winked at me and put his arms around his children. "And we've been gone a while, haven't we, kids? Mom's going to wonder where her ice cream is!"

"I want the strawberry kind _only_," Leah declared.

"Well, _I_ want chocolate," Embry countered.

"Okay, guys. There's enough for everyone to have a different kind," Sam said. He smiled at me and picked up his shopping basket. "Bella, it was so great seeing you again. Really. Please don't be a stranger to these parts, okay?"

"It was great seeing you too, Sam," I said. "And it was great meeting you, Leah and Embry. Congratulations! And I'll try to visit as often as I can. I know Charlie would love that."

We said our good-byes and Sam wrangled his brood toward the checkout line. I smiled as I resumed my search for a good Italian loaf, thinking about how fortuitous it had been to run into Sam. _Of all people to bump into while in Forks._ By the time I got to the register, the three were long gone, and I quickly made it back home to start cooking. Only once I'd finished the lasagna and was working on the salad did it occur to me that seeing Sam hadn't hurt at all. In fact, it had felt _good._ And I was genuinely happy for him.

Charlie came home with a small cooler full of fish, which I told him I'd bake and freeze for future meals. Thankfully he and Billy had done all the nasty gutting and filleting. He seemed thrilled with the lasagna, and for a while we ate in companionable silence. If I could just get through dinner and escape to my room, I'd be home-free.

"So what did you do today?" Charlie's question was loud in the comparably quiet space.

"Um, I cleaned my room and then I went to the market to get dinner. Nothing too exciting," I answered. "And I ran into Sam Uley."

"Oh yeah? Where?"

"At the grocery store," I said. "His was with his kids, Leah and Embry." Charlie just looked at me like he was waiting for me to continue. "They're cute. Sam looks happy. It was…good to see him."

Charlie nodded, his mouth full. We finished the rest of our meal in silence, and I offered to clear the table and wash the dishes. I ushered Charlie to his favorite chair and even got him a beer. _You might be buttering your bread a little too much, B._

"Okay, I give up. What's all this for?" Charlie asked when I handed him his Vitamin R. "Not that I don't appreciate it…"

"Just wanted to thank you, Dad, for putting me up…and for putting up with me," I said truthfully. I didn't feel like another lecture today, but I wanted Charlie to know that I was grateful for the open door policy and the few words of advice he _had_ spoken.

"You don't need to thank me," he said, taking a swig of his shitty beer. "Why don't we do something together tomorrow? I thought I'd take a little time in the afternoon. It's not every day that my only daughter comes to visit."

"Sure. That sounds nice," I said, racking my brain for something to do besides fishing. "What do you want to do? Hike? Bowl? Go _fishing_?" I snickered with my last suggestion, knowing full well that it might be a likely choice.

"You decide, honey," Charlie said. "We could even go, um, shopping if you want. Whatever."

"Dad, no offense, but I'm not going shopping in Forks or even Port Angeles unless it's for books or groceries," I admitted. The thought of looking for anything other than that made me cringe. "Why don't we go for a short hike or something, maybe down at La Push, and then if we feel up to it we can check out the bookstore?"

Charlie and I agreed, and retreated to the kitchen to do dishes. When I was finished, I brought him another beer, kissed him goodnight and excused myself. The day had exhausted me. Once in my room, its familiarity enveloped me like a warm blanket, and I flopped down on my old bed.

Staring at the ceiling, I considered the events of the day: my father's comments that morning; Alice's rant over the phone; and running into Sam. Though I couldn't process it entirely and make it fit neatly into my psyche, strangely enough, I could feel the cumulative effects.

_Alice and Charlie love me and are trying to help. And running into Sam…means something. What I felt -- it _means_ something._ Before I had too much time to fret over what I wasn't grasping, however, my cell phone buzzed from my purse.

_**Hey B. Heard you went home 2 visit Charlie. U ok?**_

Rose's text stared back at me, and I could almost see her worried expression as she typed it. I felt a pang of guilt for not having spoken to her in a few days, and immediately texted her in reply.

_**Hey! I will b ok. Thx. How r u?**_

__A minute, then two, then five passed as I waited for Rosalie to reply.

_**I'm great! Going 2 call u now…**_

Within seconds my phone was ringing in my hand.

"Hi, Rose! What's going on?"

"B, I didn't want to bother you, with all you have going on right now, but I had strict instructions…" Rosalie let her words dangle in front of me, teasing me, and I gasped at the realization of an announcement that was clearly being offered.

"Oh my God, Rose, who cares what I have going on? What? Tell me!"

"Emmett asked me to marry him, B," she screeched, and I quickly joined her. "Isn't it a shock? I never thought he would, stubborn ox. He popped the question last night at the hockey game! It was perfect. They had it on the big screen over the ice."

After the two of us squealed some more, I calmed down long enough to congratulate her. The two of them were made for each other, as cheesy as it sounded, and I couldn't have been happier.

"Rose, that's great. Congratulations," I said. "It's about damn time!"

For a few minutes, she and I talked about the idea of planning a wedding and how they planned to tell their respective parents. Rosalie's excitement was palatable, and it was so invigorating to see her thrilled with the prospect of a life together with Emmett. Rose was never one for big shows, fancy things or making a fuss. This was going to be fun.

"So, Rose…Vegas?" I couldn't help but tease a little. Rosalie had told me and Alice that when she grew up she wanted to marry a cute boy in Vegas, complete with Elvis as the minister and the celebratory gambling.

"Ha, ha, Bella, real funny," she said sarcastically. "No Vegas for this girl. Something small, for sure, but _nothing_ with slot machines."

"I can't wait to help you plan this, Rose," I said. "I'll be back Monday or Tuesday. Want to have lunch? I feel like I haven't seen you in ages."

"Yes. That sounds good. Just give me a call when you get back into town, okay," she said. "Bella, are you seriously all right? Alice told me what happened. Now, I take everything that nymph says with a grain of salt, but either way it sounds…shitty."

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said with a sigh, falling back on the bed. "I know it sounds like I should win the award for worst girlfriend ever, but I want to fix it. No idea how yet, but I figured this is good, quality inner-reflection time. And don't worry; I'll have gotten my fair share of lectures by the time I leave, so you won't have to."

"Never said I would," Rose answered. "Listen, I'm not going to say anything. The way I see it, you're a big girl and you'll fix whatever needs fixing. End of discussion."

_Leave it to Rosalie to keep things simple. And to tell me how simple they are._

"Thanks, Rose," I said. "Enough about me. Congratulations on being engaged! And I'll give you a call when I get back. Enjoy the rest of your weekend, and thanks so much for calling. I love you."

"Thanks. Don't mention it, B. Love you too."

Sleep suddenly sounded like the best idea I'd had all day, so I got changed and brushed my teeth and then buried myself under the covers. _Tomorrow should be interesting._ Just before I fell asleep, Edward's tortured expression flitted across my mind's eye. It was the first time I'd thought about him since Friday afternoon.

"Bella! You awake?" Charlie's voice floated up the stairs and through my closed bedroom door. Groaning, I rolled over to check the clock. _Seven-thirty. Why was he waking me up?_

"I am now," I yelled back from bed. "What?"

"I'm heading out. Just wanted to let you know I'll be back at one and then we can head out. If you want to pack sandwiches or something, that would be fine," he said. _Hint, hint._ "All right, see you later."

With the house quiet once again, I drifted off. A few hours later, I awoke to a vision of Edward, always just out of my grasp and me powerless to reach him. It was like the last dream I'd had about him, except this time it instantly brought me to tears. _Fuck._ In my revised nightmare, he'd again been added to the usual cast of characters. But Edward didn't belong with the others. _I _had broken _his_ heart.

Forcing myself out of bed, I fumbled in the bag searching for my leggings and running shirt. I hadn't worshipped the asphalt gods in a while and it was long-overdue. Throwing a lightweight shell over my shirt to combat the mist that was now falling, I put my earbuds in and broke into a full sprint. For almost two miles, the sounds of Muse, 30 Seconds to Mars, Linkin Park, OK Go and Evanescence pushed me to the point of exhaustion, but I embraced it. My workout mix was also full of oldies but goodies, and I smiled reflexively when my favorite song came on.

_Just a small town girl  
Living in a lonely world  
She took the midnight train going anywhere  
Just a city boy  
Born and raised in South Detroit  
He took the midnight train going anywhere  
_

The slower tempo of the song regulated my pace, and soon I felt the harsh burn in my lungs subside to a dull, comforting tingle. I ran on the edge of the winding roads, delighting in the refreshing wetness of the drizzle and the smell of wet, dead leaves. The pounding of my feet on the pavement steadied me and helped to clear the morning grogginess from my mind.

_Some will win, some will lose  
Some were born to sing the blues  
Oh the movie never ends  
It goes on and on and on and on_

I slowed a little more as I neared the house again, in an attempt to calm my heart and cool down. The rain was falling more steadily when I reached the front door, and the combination of cold sweat and water gave me a chill as I stepped inside and toed off my running shoes. A quick check of the time showed I had more than an hour-and-a-half before Charlie was due home, so I took a quick shower and dressed, and then packaged up leftover lasagna for Charlie's lunch and a tuna sandwich for my own.

Charlie was home at one on the dot. _Of course._ I threw our lunches in a backpack and laced up my wet sneakers, and we set off for La Push. There was a parking lot at the trailhead, which made things easy. Soon we were swallowed by the green of the forest canopy, and the darkness of the woods was only illuminated, it seemed, by the neon orange of Charlie's vest. He hiked with his rifle as well, just in case we met with an angry bear or cougar.

I followed closely behind him, an orange flag hanging from my backpack, clad in a matching orange vest and orange hat. It looked ridiculous, I was sure, but fashion was a small price to pay in Washington State, in the woods, during hunting season.

We hiked for about an hour, and then my stomach started growling. As if he could hear it from behind him, Charlie slowed and turned to me, suggesting we take a lunch break at the clearing ahead. Once we reached it -- a beautiful meadow amid a sea of evergreens with lush grass, wildflowers and a rock perfect for resting -- I pulled out our lunches.

"Bella, I hope you know that you have a lot to offer," Charlie began, after his first bite of lasagna. I looked up from my sandwich and couldn't deny it: he looked uncomfortable. "I mean, honey, you're smart, successful, thoughtful, loyal…you're a good person. And you need to let yourself be what you were meant to be."

"Dad…" I began, uncertain of where he was going with this existential ramble.

"Bells, just hear me out, okay?" I nodded.

"Stop making apologies for who you are, and stop expecting people to hurt you or be threatened by you, because then they will," he continued. "You need to be happy with who you are, Bella, before you can ever give love to someone else or expect it in return.

"Look, I might not have been that successful with the whole marriage thing, but I know that relationships take hard work -- from both sides," Charlie said. "But if this guy, Edward, is worth the work, then you have to try harder. You owe it to yourself and to him."

"Thanks, Dad," I said. Charlie might not have been verbose, but when he opened his mouth, he made it count. "I appreciate it. I know I need to reconcile some things. I've always had guilt, I guess, for putting my career above everything else."

"Yes, but that was your choice, Bella," he reminded me. "You can't do any good by doubting that choice now." Charlie paused and raked his fingers through his mustache. "I always regretted you being torn between your mother and me. There was no 'happy home' to grow up in. There weren't memories of Mom and Dad together, in love. I blame myself for that."

"Dad, don't do that," I said. "We're all slaves to our own convictions."

"But I realize you never had a good model of what a healthy, happy relationship looked like," he argued. "And that has played some role in this, I'm sure. For me, just having you with me was all I needed, Bells. But you needed a family, and I couldn't provide it. I'm sorry."

Charlie looked a bit crestfallen, as his own attempt at reassurance pulled him into his own pit of lingering self-doubt and guilt. Despite his perceived shortcomings as a father and provider, Charlie had always been an excellent parent; none of my problems were his doing.

"Please, Dad, don't berate yourself," I pleaded. "Listen to your own advice, and let's both focus on the future, okay? You did a great job, with limited resources, and I think I turned out okay. You said so, remember? And you're right about Edward. He is worth it, and I _do_ need to try harder." _Most likely, that had been part of the problem: Edward was the only one working on this relationship seriously. _

I reached over and gave Charlie a hug. For a few moments, I simply enjoyed the strength and comfort of his embrace. Then, without another word, we packed up and set off again, leaving the meadow behind us.

_A/N: Don't forget to visit the HtS thread on Twilighted to submit your ideas for the o/s!! __.?f=44&t=9356_

_The Journey song (no copyright infringement intended) was a shout-out for Jennay. I told her I'd work in her favorite song. Next chapter, Bella will return to the land of the living. It should be interesting._

_Please leave comments/reviews! I love them like long-overdue lectures!_


	27. Chapter 27: The plan

_Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just decided it was time to shake things up a bit in her characters' world. And I wanted a bitchy Bella, so here we go! _

_Oh, and all of the references used in this story in relation to the advertising and marketing company and accounts are only used here for entertainment purposes; no copyright infringement intended._

_Thank you to the following people: Angelicwish, who has gone above and beyond the call of duty to provide this insecure writer with loads of feedback, advice, beta services and great conversations; Lita for coming back to me (*waves hi*) and to Jen – I'm so glad we reconnected! Love you! _

_Sorry for the lengthy delay, my loves! My comp broke so I was confined to writing at work…which did not work out so well, obviously. I hope the longer chapter makes up for it!_

_In case any of you are wondering, here are some fics that are completely devastating me right now (please go check them out on FanFiction or Twilighted) – Expectations and Other Moving Pieces by chrometurtle; Tre by my sweetie Megsly (update soon!); The Blessing and the Curse by The_Black_Arrow and The Misapprehension of Bella Swan (Regarding the Inferior Intellect of Hockey Whores) by hunterhunting. My list of favorites is getting ridiculous. Just read these. You're welcome._

_A special thank you to Forever_Liz, Megsly and barburella, and my new ficwife SusanAshlea for being awesome in general. You guys help me work through my plot and skittle me silly. Love you!_

_Hey folks! Again, sorry we're off our usual schedule, but I vow it's temporary. The new laptop is on its way, and soon I'll be able to write at all hours of the day – not just at work! Bear with me – promise it'll be worth it!_

_We're in Bella's head for one more chapter, and then we're going to check in on Sweetward to see how he's handling this. Sound good?_

_Follow me on Twitter, people! LauraLoo77_

**Chapter Twenty-seven: The plan**

_Edward would've liked the meadow._ Again, thoughts of him invaded my idle mind, once it was no longer distracted. My pain in my chest reminded me that although I could confuse my heart for a short time with talk, running, hikes and 80s music, there was no escaping Edward and the truth of my actions.

_Please don't let it be too late._

Charlie and I spent the rest of Sunday night in our usual, comfortable silence. My father obviously felt like he'd said his peace. I made him dinner, for which he was thankful, and we sat together watching football as they day drew to a close.

My fingers itched to call Edward, but I had no idea what I'd even say -- _if_ he answered the phone. _If I were him, _I _wouldn't talk to me. _Insecurities and a shitload of guilt bubbled up to the surface and lodged themselves in my throat. What was clear was that I needed some sort of plan. This apology was going to take organization, determination and, quite possibly, a lot of begging and groveling.

It was true that I had screwed this relationship up time and again, but I sincerely hoped that there was a chance Edward would change his mind about us. Of course, my analytical brain recognized that _not _being with Edward was easier for business, but my heart was so beyond caring about that. But what could we do about the working situation? This was the key; I was sure of it. I wracked my brain for a while, massaging my temples as I did so. Thankfully, if Charlie noticed -- which I'm sure of with some certainty -- he didn't say a word. I needed room to think, so I excused myself for the night and kissed Charlie on the cheek.

"Night, Dad," I said. "I'm going to turn in early. All of the exercise today really did me in. It was nice. Thanks."

"Welcome," he answered simply. "It was. Night, Bells."

Once alone in my room, I paced quickly as my brain churned. Aside from apologizing for my unfair and flippant behavior in reaction to Tanya's text, I needed to resolve the underlying source of my stress: Edward and I could not continue working together as boss and employee if we wanted this relationship to continue. And I couldn't lose him to Aro. It was simply not an option.

"Think, Bella – think!" I chastised myself aloud for having a sluggish brain. Mentally, I rehashed the months that had passed since Edward began working for S&P and tried to glean inspiration from it all.

"Idiot!" I yelled again, hoping the sound of the TV downstairs would drown out my self-loathing. There had to be a way…

Suddenly, the white-hot light of my epiphany struck me like lightning, and I gasped. Yes! This might actually work! My plan recharged me and pumped the blood through my veins at a gallop as my heart worked to keep pace. It was perfect – it would allow Edward to stay at S&P without consequence to his career or mine, and would allow him the chance to grow in our company, if he so desired. In time, if news trickled out concerning our relationship, it wouldn't matter, though the chances of that happening would be slim. Esme and I would be fine, and Edward's integrity would remain intact. _This has to work._

Excited with the prospect of relaying the news to Esme the following day, I quickly got ready for bed and jumped under the covers with a hopeful smile plastered across my face. As I lay there, I considered the possibility of Edward's rejection.

_If he says he's done with me, it will still work. And certainly it would be far less painful this way, if we can't be together. And no one would need to know, with the exception of those who already do, of course._

The thought of Edward rejecting my apologies -- and love -- sent a chill through me, and I shivered under the heavy comforter and blankets. I struggled to wrap my mind around the concept, though the fear of reality weighed heavily on my heart. It wouldn't be the first heartbreak, of course, but this would be one that I could blame almost entirely on myself. _There's a first time for everything, I suppose._ And I knew it would be the most painful.

My thoughts drifted back to Sam and his kids, and I felt my heart clench again. The feeling was the same as that day. At first, I had assumed it was at the loss of my first love. But now, staring up at the ceiling in my old bedroom, with thoughts of Edward swirling in the mixture, I realized the pang in my chest had nothing to do with Sam at all.

It was Edward.

I wanted all of it…with Edward. Husband and wife. Kids. Stress. Jobs. Mortgage. The controlled chaos. Life. I'd thought the desire for those things just didn't exist within me. I thought that I should've wanted them with Sam, and that when I resisted it was because I wasn't meant to be all of _that_ for him -- for anyone. That I wasn't the "marrying kind." Maybe I was just waiting.

A single tear dripped from each of my eyes and trickled down into my hairline as I lay there. The more I pondered the idea, the more I knew it was true.

I wanted Edward. Only him.

_Always. _

"Shit," I sobbed quietly, as the tears flowed freely down the path the others had blazed. I blinked furiously to stem the flow, but it was as if the events of the weekend refused to be squashed. The chance meeting with Sam meant so much more now that I was self-aware. Seeing, in my mind's eye, his children wrapped around his legs sent a fresh wave of grief over me. What if I had thrown it all away? Over a _text_?

"Please help me," I prayed in a whisper, aware that I didn't do this nearly enough to warrant attention now. "Please."

I fell asleep still sniffling, the physical and emotional exertion proving too much for my body and mind. Maybe, in answer to my request, I was mercifully granted a dreamless sleep.

The clock on my nightstand read 6:07 a.m. It was early -- almost too early to consider calling Esme. But I knew her to be an early riser, so I took a chance and dialed her cell number. If she was still sleeping, it would be off. It rang three times before she answered.

"Bella? Hi! Are you okay," she asked, the pitch of her voice conveying her concern.

"Hi Es. I'm fine, thanks," I said. "Sorry to be calling you so early, but I think I have a great idea, and I wanted to run it by you."

"Okay, sure," Esme said. "I'm sitting down for breakfast, so lay it on me."

I explained my plan carefully, thinking through it aloud with Esme listening and providing the appropriate "uh-huhs" and "sures" occasionally. Reciting it to my partner gave it flesh and convinced me further that this would work. When I was finished, I asked her what she thought of it.

"Bella, I think it's a perfect idea," she enthused. "It's a big change to the dynamic at S&P, you know…but I think it will work, and beautifully. And it also serves dual purposes -- for the business and for your relationship with Edward."

With a sigh of relief, I flopped back onto my unmade bed. Esme was behind me, and that was all that mattered right now. And with the business end of things resolved, I could focus on repairing my relationship -- if there was anything left when I returned.

"Esme, I'm so sorry for subjecting you to all of this boyfriend-girlfriend drama," I said. "You know that I place our partnership and S&P above all else. It's just that…"

"B, you don't have to apologize -- really," Esme interrupted. "You haven't put me in the middle, and I _know_ how much of a priority our company is to you. But honey, maybe it's time for you to make some new priorities for yourself."

"I know. Edward needs to be my focus right now," I admitted. "Okay. I'm going to drive back to the city today, and I'll be home for the rest of the day, I think. Call me if you need anything, and I'll see you tomorrow. Thanks, Esme."

"Sounds great, B," she said cheerily. "I'll touch base with you at the end of the day, and get you up to speed on the day's business. Can't wait to see you."

I said goodbye and disconnected the call, suddenly eager to be mobile. Charlie was awake and downstairs, so I changed into my running gear and trotted down to greet him before he left for the station.

"Morning, Dad," I chirped, surprised at the optimism in my voice. Charlie seemed equally shocked, but he smiled and said good morning, kissing me on the top of my head.

"So, Bells, what's the plan?" He poured some coffee into his travel mug, then looked back in my direction.

"I'm going to head back to the city this afternoon, I think, and play it by ear," I said. "Maybe I'll go into work later and do a little emailing and paperwork. Not sure yet."

"Good," Charlie said, smiling slightly in approval. His expression grew wistful, and the twinkle in his eye caught my attention. My stomach lurched at the thought of leaving the safety and warmth of my childhood home -- and my father. "Well, I'm off."

He went to the coat rack at the door and pulled on his heavy jacket, emblazoned with the emblem of the Forks Police Department and the embroidered Chief Swan on the left breast. Then he wrapped his gun belt around his waist and buckled it. I crossed the kitchen and hugged him tightly, breathing his aftershave and the smell of home.

"Dad, thanks so much for this weekend," I said sincerely. It had been exactly what I needed.

"Sure thing," he said, squeezing me back and kissing my hair. "Drive safe, okay, and don't be a stranger. It's too quiet around here."

"Dad, I promise I'll visit more often," I vowed. "How does turkey dinner and Thanksgiving sound? Good time for a visit, right? I'll cook. Like old times."

Charlie nodded thoughtfully and smiled again, pleased with the prospect of another visit from me this month. With another kiss to my temple, he grabbed his mug and opened the door.

"Love you, Bells," he said, turning toward his parked cruiser.

"Love you too, Dad," I called after him before shutting the door.

After gulping a glass of orange juice, I grabbed my iPod off the kitchen table and laced up my running shoes. I ran the same route as the day before, ignoring the slightly uncomfortable burn in my lungs and turning up the music._  
_

_Was it a Dream?_

_Your defenses were on high  
Your walls built deep inside  
Yeah I'm a selfish bastard  
But at least I'm not alone  
_

Shit. Was Jared Leto trying to kill me with his rather fitting words? Hastily I pressed the prompt button for the next song, trying not to slow my pace. The haunting beginning strains of a piano filtered through the mini-speakers and seeped into my brain. _Fuck me._

_This hurricane is chasing us all underground.  
No matter how many deaths that I die, I will never forget  
No matter how many lives I live, I will never regret  
There's a fire inside this heart and a riot about to explode into flames  
Do you really want me?  
_

I frantically pressed the stop button and came to an abrupt halt at the top of the street, the house within view. Gasping and coughing, I bent over at the waist and rested my hands on my knees for support as I choked. _Fuck. Me._ I'd gotten kicked in the pants enough this weekend -- and rightfully so -- that another ass-kicking, courtesy of 30 Second to Mars, was adding insult to injury. I straightened up and stretched, absentmindedly rubbing my butt, and then I started walking toward the house. There was finally a wintry bite in the air, and soon my sweat sent a chill to my bones.

_When I get home, I need to focus. Edward needs to know how much I love him; he needs to know what he's done for me. What his love has done for me. Even if this is over _(I choked again at the thought)_ he needs to understand that despite my failures, I love him. And I always will._

There was no need to think longingly about the past few months; I knew it without even a second's consideration: Edward had changed me for the _better_. I ran the rest of the way down the street so I could start packing.

An hour later, I was showered, dressed and packed. I threw my bag into the backseat of the Audi and pulled out of the driveway, bidding a silent, temporary farewell to the white house and to Charlie. _I'll be back for Thanksgiving. Promise. _Suddenly in a rush to get home, I pressed down harder on the accelerator and crossed my fingers that I wouldn't get nabbed for speeding.

Once I was safely parked in the garage, I practically ran up the three flights of stairs to my townhouse, throwing my weight against the front door when my key wouldn't open it quickly enough for my taste. I dumped my bag unceremoniously on the floor in the entry hall and went to my phone to check my messages. One was from Renee, wondering where I was. _Shit. Forgot to call her._ Another was Alice just calling to say hello and reminding me to call her when I got home. The third was a hang-up. _Hmm._

Flicking the kitchen light on to brighten the gray of the overcast day, I took my cell phone out of my purse and stared at it. There had been no contact between us for the entire weekend, despite our previous plans for pizza and beer. No texts, no missed calls. Nothing. Maybe he didn't want to even speak to me.

"Okay, girl, get a grip and put on your big girl panties," I said aloud in an attempt to give myself a pep-talk. "Time to face the music." _Or maybe after I call Alice. She did want me to call her when I got it, after all._

_ Chicken-shit._

So instead, I dialed Alice's number. She couldn't talk long; she was on deadline at the magazine and the editor wanted the final copy on her winter fashion feature, so we made plans to talk that evening. With that call over and my stalling options running out, I placed my next call.

"Hey, this is Rose. Leave me a message."

I left a message and closed the phone. Strike two. With no one else left to call (I was _not_ going to get into a conversation with my mother right now), I set the phone back on the island. I paced back and forth a few times, my heart threatening to burst from my chest. It was almost two. He'd probably be too busy to even pick up. And I _had_ instituted a cell phone policy: keep personal calls to a minimum. And this most certainly qualified as a personal call. I chuckled at my own idiocy.

"Fine," I told myself, reaching for the phone with trembling fingers. I scrolled through my address book and paused when I came to Edward's entry. After another moment of hesitation, I took a deep breath and pressed send. His phone was on, and I listened, holding my breath, as it rang. One ring. Two. Three. Four. When I heard his voice, I nearly dropped the phone.

"Hi, you're reached the cell phone of Edward Cullen. Sorry I missed your call, but leave your name, a brief message and a phone number, and I'll call you back as soon as I'm able." The cheery but professional tone of his voice brought a smile to my face. _Should I leave a message?_ Momentarily I panicked when the beep signaled my cue. He'd see that I called.

"Um, Edward. Hi. It's me. It's Bella," I stammered. _Great job so far._ "I…just wanted to call to, um, see how you are." _Shit!_ "Um, I'll be back in to work tomorrow. If you want, give me a call. Um, I was hoping we could talk. Um, see you tomorrow, I guess. Okay, bye."

As I hung up I left my head fall into my hands. What an idiot! That was seriously the worst phone message ever. _Way to get your point across, B._ Foraging in my pantry seemed like a good way to pass the time and distract myself, so I began looking for something to eat. With peanut butter and crackers in-hand, I sat down on my couch and turned on the TV. This would be an excellent, mindless distraction.

Time dragged. I ate until my stomach began to ache; I wasn't sure if it was the copious peanut butter now in my belly or the waiting that hurt. Gradually the sun set behind the clouds, and I was watching Oprah and then the evening news in the dark. I got up to stretch and turn on a few lights, and to check my phone, of course. Not that I didn't know already. No new messages; no missed calls; no new texts.

_Maybe he's working late tonight. _I toyed briefly with the idea of sending him a text, but thought better of it, lest it seem too eager. But then again, I was beyond the point of caring about how things _appeared._

_**Edward. It's B. Can we talk?**_

After pressing the send button, I walked away from the phone again, determined to busy myself. I unpacked my bag and made a grocery list. I paid some bills and did a load of laundry. I dusted the entire first floor, and then vacuumed. More time passed, and still he did not answer. _What the fuck? I would've thought he'd at least respond to my text. It's always easier to be mean via text._

Thankfully, Alice called me then to save me from myself, and that occupied my brain for about 20 minutes. I told her about my weekend and asked about hers. She told me about her latest feature story and I told her it had felt weird not being at work that day. She asked me about Edward and I told her I'd called and texted, with no luck.

"He'll call or text, B," she said. "Try not to obsess."

"Ha. Easier said than done, Alice," I quipped. "What if he doesn't?"

"Well, he has to face you at some point," she said. "You work together! He can't avoid his boss forever." She laughed, and I groaned. After a few more words of friendly encouragement, we ended our conversation, and I decided a dinner of Ramen noodles was in order. With a meager dinner in my stomach and a bit more nightly news, I decided to call it a night. There was no point in staring at my phone any longer. All of my willing would not make it ring. I undressed and pulled on my yoga pants and tank top, brushed my teeth and washed my face. Then I walked back to the kitchen to retrieve my phone, and my breath caught.

_One new text message._

_**What?**_

___That's it? That's all he has to say? Definitely still angry. And hurt._ The single word was like a slap to the face. Edward was justified in his derision, but I needed to at least get him to talk to me. I took the phone back with me and climbed into bed before I responded.

_**I just want to talk. Pls?**_

_** Why? **_I tried not to be completely disheartened by the one-word answer, yet again. Quickly I typed what I hoped was a plea for simple communication.

_** I have so much I want 2 tell u. **_

_** I've heard it all. **_Okay, well at least we'd graduated from the one-word replies. But this one still stung. He didn't want to talk to me; that much was clear.

_**No, u haven't. Pls. I don't want it 2 b like this.**_

___Silence. _For more than 10 minutes I waited for a response.

_**What do u want from me?**_

__After a sigh of relief that he was still there, I typed my reply and pressed send.

_**Just a chance. Please. I might not deserve u, but u deserve the whole truth.**_

__ It was my Hail Mary pass in the last remaining seconds of the game. This wasn't about me anymore; this was about Edward needing to hear the unspoken words from my mouth, even if he walked away afterward. No more bullshit and no more jealousy and games veiling my insecurities. He deserved my complete honesty, and I was prepared to make good on it, if he'd let me.

_**Okay. **_

__The power of his reply was like a punch to the gut, and I smiled breathlessly. He was going to give me a chance to explain.

_**When can we talk? **_Frankly, I was more than willing to make it right now. The sooner, the better. So I added, _**Now?**_

_** Can't now. Sorry.**_

_** Tomorrow? After work? **_How the hell was I going to sleep a wink now? I couldn't help but pout, and wonder why he wasn't willing to meet me tonight.

_**Okay. See u tomorrow.**_

__"Wait! Don't go!" I yelled to my phone, as if somehow it would magically relay my voice to Edward.

_**Wait! Edward? **_There was no immediate response from him, so I settled under my covers with my phone cradled in my hands. I shut off the light and set my alarm after 15 minutes of silence. When the 20-minute mark had passed, I officially waved my white flag, and typed one last text.

_**Edward, I'm so sorry. **_

Five-thirty arrived much too early, and considering how little sleep I'd gotten, I literally had to drag my tired ass out of bed. I wasn't looking forward to this day for a multitude of reasons, and I couldn't ignore the nagging pit of nerves at the bottom of my stomach. My breakfast was discarded, half-eaten, in the kitchen sink, and not even a shower could wake me. I left for work extra early, planning to stop to get a coffee on the way.

"Excuse me. I ordered a hot, black coffee with sugar," I said to the girl behind the counter. I slid the heavy creamed coffee across the counter and smiled at the poor thing who had eight people in line behind me, and no one else to help her at the register.

"Oh, so sorry about that, Miss," she said, clearly exasperated. "I'll get you a new one." She looked around her frantically, obviously unnerved by the line growing behind me.

"You know what? Nevermind," I said. "I've been meaning to try something new anyways, and it looks like you have your hands full. No worries. Have a good day." She smiled in thanks and wished me the same as I walked away. _Cream wasn't so bad in the coffee, anyways._

I pulled into my reserved parking space at exactly 7:30. Slowly I walked up the 10 flights of stairs and pushed through the glass doors of the office. The lights were off and it was completely silent. I turned on the lights and entered my office, and pulled off my suit jacket. Settling at my desk, I opened my email and began sorting through the messages. Edward had sent me a brief email bringing me up-to-date on one of his clients, and had attached the new ad campaign mockups. For some reason, I kept the email open on my desktop as I worked on other things.

At eight sharp there was a knock on my door, and Jessica came in with messages from the previous day and a small stack of new client files.

"Thanks Jessica," I said. "Was it busy here yesterday?"

"Um, y-yes," she said. "But Esme and Edward split up the client meetings and met with the executives. And, um…Tanya came in yesterday."

I nearly spit out my coffee. _Tanya had dared to step foot into this office. _Although I was furious, I tried to not let it show. After clearing my throat, I asked Jessica what had prompted the visit to her former employer.

"Well, she asked to see Edward about a 'possible business opportunity,'" Jessica began, apparently quoting Tanya. I looked up from my computer and stared intently at her, waiting. "But he had just left for a client lunch. She missed him by minutes. Did you want me to get her contact information so you can call her back?"

"Yes, Jessica, that would be great," I said, in my best calm-boss voice. Although I had no idea what I'd say or do if I actually called Tanya. Nothing but threats and swears (and maybe some pulling hair and punching) came to my mind. "Thanks."

Jessica excused herself and I got back to work. Moments later, a very chipper Esme flitted into my office and flopped into one of my office chairs with a sigh. The smile and the blissful air about her suggested she'd had a nice weekend with Carlisle, and I was going to hear about it.

"Good morning, Bella," she said with a grin. "How are you? Did you have a good evening? And I never really got a chance to ask you about your weekend. Was it nice visiting with Charlie? How is he? Did you guys do anything fun?" When she was finished with her barrage of questioning, she leaned back in the chair and grinned again.

"Hi, yourself," I said with a smile. "I'm good. My evening was okay, but I didn't sleep very well. Don't ask. Yes, my weekend was nice. Charlie and I hung out and we went for a hike on Sunday, which was really nice. He's good. Same as always -- just a little greyer. Does that cover it?" Esme nodded, seemingly satisfied with my answers.

"So…you look like the cat that ate the canary," I added. "Spill it, Es." Esme paused only for a moment before telling me about her weekend with Carlisle, and honestly, I tried to pay attention. My mind kept drifting back to his brother, however, and all I could do was nod and smile and hope that she wasn't going to quiz me later. _Shit._

"We're going to sit down with Edward today, right?"

Esme's question cut through my thoughts and my heart dropped into my stomach as I was reminded of my plan. _Right._ I had hoped to have been able to speak with Edward before our meeting, but that had failed. And I didn't know when or where we were meeting after work. _Great attempt at mending fences, B._

"Should we do it today," I asked meekly. Maybe Esme could be convinced to wait tomorrow…or until Friday. Maybe that would give me enough time to apologize to Edward and set things right again.

"I think so," Esme answered. "The sooner, the better, so we can begin making the transition. It's going to impact everyone, so I think we need to give them all time to process this and adjust. Don't you?"

I couldn't argue with her rationale, though my nerves screamed for us to put this off. And I wasn't sure how Edward would react to it, either. It wasn't as if we needed to bring him into this conversation before the decision was made, but it would affect him much more than the others. And I was fearful that once he knew, he might think of me differently. _Not that it matters now anyways._

"Okay, Esme," I acquiesced. "When do you want to sit down with him?"

"I'll go get him now," she said, standing up. "He's in his office." Before I could utter another word, she was out the door. I took a moment to calm myself and took a few deep, cleansing breaths. All that did was make me lightheaded. _Okay, we're doing this. And it will be fine. I will be fine. Esme will be fine. Edward will be fine._

Everything _ceased_ to be fine when Esme returned with a visibly stressed Edward Cullen. It seemed like ages since I'd seen him, and I drank in the sight greedily. His hair was in its usual state of complete disarray; he had, no doubt, been running his fingers through it excessively this morning. His suit, as always, was impeccable and cut perfectly and the green shirt brought out the copper highlights in his hair. I saved his beautiful face for last, and nearly lost my breath. His eyes were dark and troubled, but still lit, albeit dimly, from within; dark circles under them hinted at a recent lack of sleep; the contour of his chiseled jaw was even more hand-set and his lips were pressed into a thin line.

His eyes fell on mine, and for a moment everything else disappeared. I tried so hard to communicate what I could not with words. I wanted to run to him, wrap my arms around him and beg unabashedly for his forgiveness. What I wanted, apparently, was irrelevant at this moment. I watched as Esme took the chair to my right and Edward slowly eased himself into the other, his eyes darting around my office.

"Edward, Bella and I wanted to call this impromptu meeting because we have an announcement of sorts," Esme began. Edward glanced at me, which seemed to cause him physical pain. He had no _idea_ what this was doing to me.

"Yes. Thank you, Edward, for making the time," I said, trying to test the strength and pitch of my voice. _Cool and calm, B._ He looked at me and this time his face was devoid of any emotion, and that scared me more than anything. "Like Esme said, we've decided to make a change here at S&P and we wanted you to be the first to know, since this will impact you first and to the largest degree."

I could tell Edward was steeling himself. His face betrayed nothing, but I saw that his hands were gripping the arms of the chair so hard that his knuckles had turned white. It didn't do much for my confidence, so I plowed on.

"Esme, if you don't mind," I began. She nodded her head. "Edward, Esme and I have decided that I'm going to leave S&P…to open a new location. In Portland." Edward blinked a few times, his mouth dropping open slightly, looking at me in disbelief. He looked at Esme -- she nodded in affirmation -- and then looked at me again. The silence in the room as we waited for his response was deafening. Well, it was most likely only that way for me.

"Well, um, this certainly is a surprise," he finally said, his voice cracking slightly. He trained his gaze on Esme; I noticed his death-grip on my office chair did not lessen. "And not that I don't appreciate the gesture, but why did you tell me first?"

I allowed Esme to take over. "Well, Edward, as the essential third in command here, I'll be relying on you heavily now, once Bella leaves, to fill the gaps in management while we transition. So this change will impact you more directly than the others. And should you decide, certainly this opens a new opportunity for you as the new VP." Edward seemed to be having difficulty keeping his mouth from falling ajar.

"Now, we will have to properly advertise the position, but you will certainly have the upper hand in terms of experience, should you choose to pursue it when the time comes," Esme continued. "Of course, officially I can't tell you that."

Edward straightened his tie and ran his fingers through his poor hair, processing all of the information. Still it seemed he couldn't bring himself to meet my eyes, and this did not loosen the tight knots in my stomach.

"Esme…Ms. Swan, thank you for sharing this with me," Edward managed awkwardly. "Of course I am more than happy to assist you in making this transition as smooth as possible, and I will certainly consider applying for the post -- when the time comes. Until then, Esme, I'm at your disposal." _Why won't he look at me?_

Esme informed him that there would be subsequent meetings on the move over the course of the next month, leading up to my departure in six weeks. _Six weeks. _The time was going to fly, I was certain. Esme and I had figured it would take us that long to establish a new office in Portland, conduct interviews and hiring, cultivate leads and secure new clients, and phase me out of the Seattle office. It was a lot to do in a relatively short period of time. And that was _work._ I had no idea what I was going to do about Edward. After he'd left, Esme turned to me with a hopeful smile.

"That went well," she offered. I nodded distractedly, my mind on other things. "Bella, it's all going to be fine."

"I know, Es. Thanks." She stood up, grasped my hand briefly, and left. The day went by quickly, and as the sun set I finally got up and stretched, my back protesting to the sudden change. Esme popped in to say good night, and once her footsteps faded, the silence of the empty office invaded my ears. I hadn't spoken to Edward since our meeting, but he hadn't left; I could hear the faint click of computer keys and the occasional throat-clear. _It's now or never. Just go in there._

Mustering my courage -- and again surprised that I was suddenly left without it -- I walked down the hall, pausing outside his office door. I knocked on the frame, as his door was open, and waited for him to turn to acknowledge me. It seemed to take him forever, but when he did turn around his face was devoid of emotion again. He nodded and turned back to his computer. I entered and took a seat across from him, with his maple desk separating us.

"Um, Edward, sorry to interrupt, but I just wanted to see what time you wanted to get together to, um, talk, and whether you'd like to get coffee…or dinner?" For a few moments, there was no answer from him, and it felt like it might as well have been a continent separating us instead of just a piece of wood.

"Why are you doing this?" Edward's voice floated over to me in a strained whisper. Slowly he turned his gaze on me, and then unleashed the full power of his emerald stare. There were so many emotions there that it was too difficult for me to isolate one.

"I want to talk," I answered. It was all I could say. And I wasn't going to leave him alone until we did just that.

"There's nothing to talk about," he said, anger and hurt in his voice. "First, the shit on Friday. Now you drop this bomb on me that you're _leaving_, and…you're running away, aren't you?"

Anger flared in my gut, an automatic defensive response to his accusation. Before I let my temper get the best of me, though, I realized that Edward was only reacting to what seemed clear to him. _Calm down, B. _

"Edward, I am so very sorry for what happened on Friday," I began, itching to reach for him. "I've been thinking about it since then -- I've been thinking about a lot of things, actually -- and that's why I wanted to talk to you. Today's news…well, I hope you understand why I didn't tell you about it before, but it's not what you think. I'm _not_ running away." He didn't say anything, but turned his body away from the computer, so I decided to continue.

"Regardless of what…happens…with us," I said, struggling to get the words out, "Esme and I have been discussing the concept of opening a satellite office for some time. We've been looking at a number of different locations, and I even considered Chicago in light of our recent trip there. It just made more sense for me to open the office. I love Esme and she's a great partner, but she doesn't have the grit to bulldoze her way into a new market; we all know I do."

"But why now? You can't tell me it has nothing to do with what happened last week," Edward said, his tone disbelieving.

"I'll be completely honest with you," I said. "In light of…everything, it just fell into place perfectly. But no, the decision had nothing to do with it. Esme and I have been planning this for months, and with the holidays approaching we both figured it might slow down enough to get me out of here with my sanity intact." Again, I watched as Edward processed what I'd told him, waiting for a reaction or some sign that he believed me. He nodded his head minutely, and stood from his desk.

"Well, I appreciate you being honest with me," he said, walking to get his wool coat, hanging near the door. I panicked as it became clear that he was leaving for the night.

"Edward, wait. I was hoping we could talk more," I said in a rush, meeting him at his door as he gathered his things. "There's so much more you need to know, even if this _is_ over."

That stopped him. His back was to me, but I knew from his body language that my words had gotten through. His head dipped slightly and I watched as the muscles in his jaw flexed. His hand gripped the handle on his briefcase so hard that again, his knuckles turned white. When he turned around, his expression brought tears to my eyes for what seemed like the hundredth time in the last few days.

"Is that what you want, Bella," he asked, his brows furrowed and his eyes dark. My breathing was ragged and ineffective as I utilized every ounce of restraint not to smooth the worry from his face with my fingers. I wanted to kiss him, hold him, crawl inside him and reassure Edward that I'd never hurt him again.

"No, Edward," I whispered, stepping a bit closer. "That's not what I want at all. _Not at all._" For a moment the two of us just stood there in the doorway of Edward's office. Neither one of us, it seemed, knew what to do. Two inches and a whole lot of words kept me from the man I wanted. And I knew I needed to fill that space with an explanation before I could even think about reestablishing our physical connection.

Edward sighed offered a meager smile. "Well, then let's go."

"Where? To talk? Right now?" My brain struggled to switch gears as I followed him down the hall. He stopped outside my office and I hurried in to shut off lights and grab my things. I stood before him with my arms full, and he gently took my coat, holding it out for me. My brain reveled in the tender gesture, and then we walked out to the elevator together.

"Want to get dinner?" Edward asked. "It's late, and I'm hungry."

"How about you come to my place," I suggested, before I had even considered he might not _want_ to come over. _Shit._ "I think I owe you some pizza and beer." It was worth a shot, at least. The elevator doors closed in front of us, and I watching the LED floor numbers tick down from 10. _Please come over. Please._

"Okay."

We stepped out into the parking garage, and as Edward moved toward his car, his hand lightly brushed mine. The electric charge shot through my fingers and exploded inside me, and I nearly giggled. I'd missed the sensation. Edward turned at my squeaky outburst, but said nothing, and tossed his briefcase in the backseat of the Audi.

"All right, so, um, if you want to follow me…" I said, not knowing how to finish.

"Sure," he said, one corner of his beautiful mouth turned up in what I hoped was the beginnings of a smile. Before I could say anything else, he got into his car, and I did the same. Carefully I pulled out of my space and eased my car into the sparse traffic. The short drive home only increased my jitters. This could go really well -- or terribly wrong. I pulled into my townhouse parking garage, and Edward followed, parking in the empty space beside me.

We walked up the stairs silently; apparently Edward was nervous, too. From the corner of my eye I watched his fingers travel through his hair every few seconds and his tongue dart out to repeatedly lick his lips. _I miss that mouth, and that tongue. _The scene mesmerized me, making me momentarily forget my feet were moving.

"Oof!" I exclaimed as I tripped, my body heading for a collision with the floor. A strong hand caught me mid-fall, and my face instantly flamed as Edward righted me, a slight smirk twisting his lips. _Keep your eyes on the road, B._

"You all right?" I nodded like an imbecile, but kept my mouth shut.

"This is me," I offered lamely when I stopped in front of my door, fumbling to get the key in the lock. I could feel Edward's warm breath on my neck, and it was not constructive in my efforts to get inside. Finally, the key turned and I felt a small victory in my success. Switching on the hall light, I stood aside to let Edward walk past me. He slowly spun around, taking in what he could see of my home, and completed the circle when he got to me.

"Very nice," he said simply, his eyes still on me. I tried not to just toss the idea of talking out the window in favor of makeup sex, cleared my throat, and removed my coat. I took Edward's coat as well and directed him into the kitchen. Taking out a ball of dough, mozzarella, olives and bacon, I then turned to him.

"Are these ingredients okay? I love the saltiness of the olives and bacon, and I think we need comfort pizza tonight," I said. I took two beers from the fridge and offered him one.

"It sounds delicious," he said, taking a long pull from his beer. His fingers caressed the bottle, and I cleared my throat again and started opening the olives in order to distract myself. _What is he trying to do to me? Kill me with sexy?_ Edward probably didn't even know he was doing it. _Damn it. _

Unsure of how to start this discussion, I rolled up my sleeves and decided to prepare the pizza ingredients while the dough had time to rise. The silence behind me was expected, so I gasped and dropped the cheese grater when Edward's cold fingers found my elbow.

"Uh, sorry. Didn't mean to scare you," he said quietly, just inches away. My body was a live wire, aching for more contact, and Edward was dangerously close. "Need any help?" His fingers did not move. This was killing me.

"Nope. I've got it," I said, suddenly desperate for some space with which to clear my muddled thoughts. "Just sit down and relax, and I'll take care of it." Edward leaned over my shoulder and inhaled deeply, and bit down on my lip roughly to steady myself. His body was touching mine, the heat from his chest radiating through his button-down and my light sweater. _How do you grate cheese, again?_

"That mozzarella smells good," he said, finally moving away from me. Once he was seated at the island, I took a deep, cleansing breath. _Steady, girl._ Once I finished cutting olives and slicing cheese, I began cooking the bacon and reached into the fridge for another beer. I turned back to Edward, who was again studying me like he was going to be quizzed later, and set the beer on the island counter.

"Need another one?" I offered, sliding it to him. Before I had time to remove my hand, Edward's was covering mine, wrapped around the bottle. My eyes flashed to his in surprise and I watched as his expression softened.

"Thanks," he said, not moving the bottle or his hand. "Now. What was it you'd like to tell me?"

_A/N: Don't kill me, people! Put the torches and pitchforks down! The next chapter, I promise, will be a hefty one, full of lots of talk and maybe some action, too. The song excerpts in this chapter were from _The Kill, Was it a Dream_ and _Hurricane_, all of 30 Second to Mars. No copyright infringement intended. _

_Have you all noticed that Bella has changed from poetry to music? What do you think? I think she needs some time with Edward to get her back on track! Don't forget to visit the HtS thread on Twilighted to submit your ideas for the one-shot! __http://www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=9356_

_Please leave comments/reviews! I love them like great plans!_


	28. Chapter 28: I'm sorry

_Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just decided it was time to shake things up a bit in her characters' world. And I wanted a bitchy Bella, so here we go! _

_Oh, and all of the references used in this story in relation to the advertising and marketing company and accounts are only used here for entertainment purposes; no copyright infringement intended._

_Thank you to the following people: Angelicwish, who has gone above and beyond the call of duty to provide this insecure writer with loads of feedback, advice, beta services and great conversations, and to my Jennay- Love you! __A special thank you to Forever_Liz, Megsly and barburella, and my new ficwife SusanAshlea for being awesome in general. You guys help me work through my plot and skittle me silly. Love you all!_

_Again, I must apologize for any delay and off-schedule posting. For the past four weeks I have been relegated to writing chapters at work, after-hours, while I pine away for the new laptop that is taking its sweet-ass time to get to my house. Now that my new lappy Milan has arrived, things will get easier._

_In case any of you are wondering, here are some fics that are completely devastating me right now (please go check them out on FanFiction or Twilighted) –Tre by my sweetie Megsly (update soon!); The Blessing and the Curse by The_Black_Arrow and The Misapprehension of Bella Swan (Regarding the Inferior Intellect of Hockey Whores) by hunterhunting. My list of favorites is getting ridiculous. Just read these. You're welcome._

_This is the last Bella POV chapter for a little while. I think it's time we see how Sweetward's been dealing with this drama. Though, at least this time, he's creating some of it for a change!_

_Follow me on Twitter, people! LauraLoo77_

**Chapter Twenty-eight: **I'm sorry...

_When we two parted  
In silence and tears,  
Half broken-hearted,  
To sever for years,  
Pale grew thy cheek and cold,  
Colder thy kiss;  
Truly that hour foretold  
Sorrow to this.  
_

Edward's hand was warm over mine, and the combination of the chilled beer bottle and his comparatively hot hand was strangely heavenly. And emptied my brain of all coherent thought.

"Um, well…" I began, stalling to regain my concentration. This conversation needed to happen. _Now._ _Forget about Edward's hands and mouth and eyes and how much you've missed him._

"Well, to be honest, I'm not quite sure where to start," I said. I wiggled my fingers under his and he let go of the bottle, seemingly surprised we were still touching. Once I'd released my grip, he took the beer and drank from it like he was parched. "I guess I wanted to apologize for…well, for lots of things. I've been thinking, and I wish I could take back a lot of it."

Edward's eyes left the bottle and met mine.

"Are you moving to Portland?"

"Wh-what?" I asked, stunned by the strange question. He simply looked at me. "Um, no. No, I'm not moving, Edward. Why?"

"I don't want you to," he said quietly, peeling the label. And then, so softly that I almost missed it, he added, "and I wish you weren't going to be working in Portland, either."

"Edward, I don't want to leave, either, but it just makes sense," I reasoned, feeling like I should be touching him to soothe him as I said this. "It's only two-and-a-half hours away. I'm going to commute."

"It's too far away," he mumbled. Then he straightened up on the stool, appearing to gain some focus. "And you say you're not moving now, but how long do you think you'll really want to commute five hours every day? What's keeping you from eventually moving there?"

"My life is here, Edward," I answered. "My friends are here; my father is here. And you are here." Unable to meet his gaze, I busied myself with flattening the pizza dough. Regardless of how Edward felt, now he at least knew that he was one of my reasons for _not_ running away to Portland. With no response from Edward, I slipped the dough onto the pizza stone, loaded the toppings, and slid it into the oven.

"I was kind of hoping you'd say that," he said when I turned around to him again. His expression was guardedly hopeful. I took another beer out of the fridge and motioned for us to sit in the living room. Edward flopped onto my couch and I sat at the other end, facing him.

"Edward, I haven't been very careful with your heart," I began. "And it seems I've forgotten how to use my own." His confused expression would've made me laugh, were it not for the topic of discussion. "I needed a reality check - a personality adjustment. So…thank you." Only silence came from the other end of the couch, so I kept going.

"Edward, I love you…with everything that I am. My happiest moments are the ones you've been a part of," I said. "And I feel like this chip I carry on my shoulder gets a little lighter when you're around. Then when you…when I left …nothing made sense. This past weekend, it was like I was doing all of the things I should have been, but I wasn't really there.

"It was like all of the air was sucked out of the room. It scared the shit out of me, Edward. Now, even just being in the same space as you…I feel better. And knowing that, how much I _needed_ you, frightened me most of all."

He opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, but I had to finish before I completely lost my nerve - and the point - so I held up my hand.

"I'm sorry, Edward, but please let me finish," I pleaded. Thankfully he acquiesced and instead finished his beer.

"Being in love with you does strange things to me - it makes me utterly irrational, entirely unpredictable, insanely jealous, ridiculously insecure…but it also makes me want to be a better person, if that makes any sense at all," I said, leaning a bit closer. My fingers gripped the couch cushions, since I didn't know if I should act on impulse and touch him instead. _Focus._

"You told me I was scared, and you were right. I'm scared of everything: loving you as much as I do, needing you so much, hurting you so badly that we can't get back what we had. But I can't be afraid for the rest of my life, and I'm tired of running. I've been carrying around these ghosts for so long, and I think I'm finally ready to let them go."

Finally, Edward put his hand over mine and coaxed my fingers away from the fabric of the cushion. His thumb, forefinger and middle finger massaged my hand and I sighed in the relief his touch provided. It felt like a lifetime of days had passed since I felt his skin on mine, instead of just a few. _I am his. _Edward seemed to take in all of what I'd said. It had been one of the hardest things I'd ever done - to throw all of my baggage out like that and admit to it - and I was nervous.

"Thank you for being open with me," he said, and I sighed in relief. He squeezed my hand slightly and added, "I can imagine how difficult that must have been for you. It means so much that you trust me with those things, Bella.

"I need to confess something, too," Edward continued. "You really pissed me off that day, throwing Tanya's text in my face, using it as a weapon. I was so angry that you didn't trust me, and I let that anger take control. Don't you know that I would never do anything to hurt you? Tanya means nothing to me. Nothing."

"I know that, Edward," I admitted, ignoring the sting of his words. "You've done nothing to cause me to doubt you." For a moment I focused only on our hands, carefully choosing my next words. "This weekend I had a lot of time to reflect, and I realized that I need to make peace with myself - let go of the past and any expectations I had for myself back then. I need to accept who I am now and where I am in my life. Until I'm able to do that, I'm afraid I can't give you what you need - what you deserve."

Feeling very exposed by my last statement, I dropped my eyes away from Edward's and instead focused on his hand. With both of mine I turned it over so that his palm was exposed. Using the tip of my finger, I traced the creases in his hand - his life lines. They were long and defined, and this mindless activity brought me a strange sense of comfort.

"Bella, you shouldn't have to be alone, just because you haven't got it all figured out yet," Edward said, interrupting the silence. "No one's perfect. And I want to help you make peace with whatever haunts you. We can do it together."

His desire to be with me, in spite of it all, brought tears to my eyes. The depth of Edward's unconditional love for me, his acceptance and willingness to help, touched my soul. I smiled as an errant tear made its way down my cheek, before wiping it away.

"You make me feel like I'm capable of anything, Edward." I said and chuckled, adding, "and I'm not used to that. I'll promise to work on getting used to the feeling." He smiled, taking my face in his hands, his eyes locked on mine. _So much like jade today._

"So, are we…better?" he asked. I nodded. "Good. Because I love you. And I want you in my life."

"I love you too, Edward," I whispered, leaning toward him. "And I want you in my life, too. Always."

"Promise?" His lips brushed mine gently, and I might have passed out for a second.

"Promise," I managed, before initiating another kiss.

My lips molded to his perfectly; the sensation was like coming home after a lengthy trip. The resolution of the conflict between us seemed to heighten our need for each other, as if we had both suddenly realized our mutual cravings. I couldn't help the sighing moan that escaped, and the sound activated Edward's hands.

They moved from my face down to my neck, his long fingers igniting my skin as he went. His hands skimmed my shoulders, as his tongue stroked mine inside my mouth. I held Edward's face to mine, relishing the sandpaper of his stubble and the hard line of his jaw under my fingers. I kissed him as hard as I could, so glad to be back in a place where that was possible. But I needed more.

"Edward, please," I almost whined when he moved his lips to my neck. On cue, Edward gently pushed me back so that I was reclined, but did not stop his teasing assault on my neck. My hands found his hair and his hands found the buttons on my shirt. _This man is so talented - unbuttoning my shirt without looking._

Once my shirt was open, his lips disappeared, and I looked up to demand why, only to find him openly gaping at me, his eyes dark and hungry.

"God, Bella, what _is_ that?" he asked incredulously. Confused, I looked down and remembered that I'd dressed with purpose that morning. The dark blue silk brocade fabric, covered in delicate cherry blossoms, always made me feel powerful, confident and secretly sexy. It had taken some getting used to, but now when I wore it, it felt like an armor of sorts, and it comforted me. And no one had ever seen it. Until now.

"Um, well, Edward, it's a…" I never finished my sentence. Edward pulled me quickly off the couch and got on his knees. My heart stuttered and doubled its pace at the sight of him in that position before me. With a slightly mischievous smirk, Edward tugged off my shirt and placed his hands on my hips.

"Can I see more?" All I could do was nod in reply. Edward unzipped my skirt and slid it off my hips, his eyes growing wider as more of the dark fabric and eventually the black lace thong, garter straps and thigh-highs were revealed. Then he sat back on his heels, his mouth open slightly, and I giggled nervously. The noise brought his attention back to my face.

"Yeah, I like corsets," I said, a bit embarrassed. "I needed to wear this today. I was so anxious about talking to you, and-"

Edward's mouth silenced mine, effectively ending my babble. His hands moved slowly up and down the brocade, over the steel bones and down to the edge of the corset, which rested just above the widest part of my hips.

"I love corsets," he breathed into my mouth. I grinned as I kissed him again. _This was going to be good._ "Wait. Let me rephrase that. I love _you_ in a corset." Edward wrapped his arms around me, pulling me against him, and I could tell he was serious. With his hardness obvious through his pants, suddenly I was eager to even the score, and I began to loosen his tie.

"You are completely overdressed, Mr. Cullen," I said with a wry smile, pulling his tie from his collar. "Let me help you." I unbuttoned his white shirt and slid his cufflinks through their holes, letting them drop to the carpet. The shirt quickly joined them, along with his belt, shoes and socks. The site of Edward, barefoot, in only his tailored pants, did funny things to my stomach - and other parts of me - and now I was the one ogling.

"Perfect," I _might_ have murmured, before separating Edward from the rest of his clothing. Once he was naked, my stockings, heels and thong were no match for him, and soon all that stood between us was this article of clothing that was currently impeding me from taking a much-need deep breath. Sexy or no, it, too, needed to go.

Without another word, Edward picked me up and wrapped my legs around his waist, walking us out of the living room and into my bedroom. He laid me down onto my bed and hovered over me for a moment before running his fingers through his hair. I turned on the small bedside lamp, bathing the room in soft, pink light.

"Uh, how do I get this thing off? Laces or…" he trailed off, adorably confused. Edward's fingers came to rest around my hips as he searched for an escape hatch or a Pull Here tab. Again I giggled and slid off my bed to stand beside it.

"Nope. Hooks," I said, and unfastened the front of the corset one heavy gauge clasp at a time, until the garment fell to the floor. Edward took a moment before extending his hand so that I could join him.

"You're beautiful, Bella," he said as he resumed his place over me, his body only an inch from mine. It might as well have been a mile. I dismissed his comment with a snicker, but he held my chin with his finger, holding my gaze. "I'm serious. You take my breath away. Really."

His comment took _my _breath away, and all I could do was pull him to me the remaining distance for a kiss. Our bodies came together as if no time and space had passed, and my bedroom was quickly filled with the soft sounds of our contentment. Edward paused from his worship of the skin around my belly button, pulling himself away so his eyes were staring into mine. They were so clear.

"When I saw you with that corset on, I wanted nothing more than to ravage you good and proper," he said with a crooked smile. "But now, with you here, like this, I just can't find it in me to hurry." With that, he resumed his kissing, and I closed my eyes and sighed. True to his word, Edward took his time loving me, kissing, licking and gently nipping every inch of skin he deemed worthy. And I returned his gesture, whenever he paused long enough for me to touch him.

"Edward, please," I begged for the second time that night, desperate to feel more of him, all of him. He groaned and kissed me long and hard, and I reached around to his backside and grabbed hold, pulling him flush against me with as much force as I could.

"God, Bella, it feels so good to be with you. You feel so fucking good."

The cursing only spurred me on and I whimpered, convinced that if he didn't fill the aching void inside me soon, I'd surely explode. I missed the weight of his body on top of mine, and especially missed having him inside me; it was a feeling that nothing and no one else could replicate. Edward finally came to his senses, and as I bit down on his earlobe, he entered me completely and I was whole again.

Stars floated across my field of vision as Edward thrust deeply but slowly in and out, over and over. My hands were desperate for contact, and I dug my nails into his back as I arched my own off the bed. My ears registered Edward's hiss at the pain I must have inflicted, but neither one of us cared.

All I could see was the vibrant green of his eyes, boring into my own, like two fiery emeralds. All I heard were his hard breaths and my own, occasionally punctuated by moans. All I smelled was him: a mixture of aftershave, shampoo and now sweat - clean and masculine. I was experiencing the best kind of tunnel vision.

"Edward, I never want you to stop," I cried, completely overcome. "I've missed you so much. It…hurt. I don't want it to hurt anymore."

He gently hushed my babble with his mouth, smoothing my hair and continuing his thrusts as he reassured me in the way only he could.

"Shh, love. It's all right," he said in between kisses. "I won't let you hurt, okay? See this? Our bodies were made to fit perfectly, just like this."

I wrapped my legs around him, desperate to pull him even deeper, and one of his hands grasped my ass and lifted me more, sharpening the angle at which our bodies came together. In my delirious state, I couldn't fathom why I had ever let this man walk away from me, even for a few days. At that moment, I vowed to not allow my defects push him away.

"Fuck, Edward, you're so hard…and deep," I mumbled breathlessly. Then he pulled out completely and slid inside me again with enough force that it pushed my next breath out in a loud _whoosh_.

I knew I was close, but I didn't want it to end, so I squeezed my eyes shut in an attempt to prolong the exquisite torture and prevent the sensory overload that was Edward. But I could still feel him - his body, his slick hardness inside me, his lips on mine and his warm breath - and hear him - his words of longing and comfort - and it was still too much.

"Oh…Edward…I'm going to-" I cried, cutting myself off. I climaxed silently, my voice caught in my throat, unable to make a sound or even call out his name again. The waves lapped at me again and again as Edward continued moving against me - also silently - until his orgasm followed moments later. Even after, he stayed inside me, and I relished the feeling of our connection as our hearts pounded in a frantic unison, the sound thrumming steadily in my eardrums. Reaching up, I kissed Edward with as much passion I could muster, before dropping my head back onto the pillows.

Rolling onto his side, Edward pulled me with him so we were still face-to-face. I brushed a wet lock of auburn-bronze hair off his sweaty forehead, and kissed his nose. Neither one of us spoke a word for what seemed like hours. I kept my hand on his chest, over his heart; he kept his against the small of my back, pressing me to him and keeping me warm. Finally, sleep began to drag me under, against my will, and I felt Edward pull the covers out from underneath me. Then I was enveloped in soft, cotton warmth and his hand was back to its rightful place.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm kind of hungry."

That roused me from my almost-sleep. _The pizza!_ I bolted out of bed, convinced that the kitchen would be a charred mess, despite the fact that I couldn't recall the smoke detector buzzing. _Not that we would have heard it anyways. _To my surprise, it was just as we had left it, and I ran to the oven and yanked the door open. My pizza was still on the stone, very much unbaked. I had forgotten to turn on the damned oven!

"Shit. Edward, the pizza isn't done," I exclaimed as I walked back into the bedroom, feeling really foolish. "Come on. You need to eat." I climbed back into bed and wrapped my arms around the naked man lying there. Edward chuckled softly into my hair as he returned my embrace.

"Silly girl. I forgot about the pizza, too," he admitted. "Why don't we get dressed and, this time, actually have some dinner?" I kissed him again and slipped out of bed, searching for our clothing. I located most of it in the living room and handed Edward his boxer briefs and pants. His shirt, however, was mine; I buttoned it up and pulled on a pair of wool socks.

"You look good in my shirt," he said, coming over to me. I reached up on my toes and kissed him before going back to the kitchen to make sure the oven was actually _on_ this time. _Hopefully I didn't ruin the dough._ Edward met me in there, and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Edward, I just wanted to say, for the record, that I'm sorry," I said. "I hope you can forgive me. I don't expect you to just forget about all of this shit and pretend like it didn't happen, but I hope you can forgive me for it."

"I'm sorry, too, Bella," he answered softly. "And I meant what I said before about working this out."

"Thank you," I answered. "And I mean it when I say that I won't walk away again." I was officially out of words, with the exception of the three I uttered immediately after them. "I love you."

"Love you, too."

An hour later we sat at the island, a couple of empty beers and a nearly-eaten, very flat bacon and olive pizza in between us. Edward and I talked of work and family and loosely about the upcoming holidays. I didn't want to assume that he'd be spending them with me at all, so I broached the subject with realistic expectations.

"So, do you have any plans yet for Thanksgiving?" I asked.

"Usually Carlisle cooks dinner, and he and I invite Jasper - and now I'd assume Alice and Esme - over for turkey and all the fixings," he answered, looking reflective. "Why?"

"Well, I don't want to infringe upon your traditions," I said, not wishing to tear him away from the only family he had for dinner in Forks with Charlie. "Nevermind."

"Bella," he said, staring me down. "What were you going to ask me?"

"It's just that for the past few years now I've avoided the holidays with my father," I admitted. "Usually Alice, Esme, Rose, Emmett and I have a small dinner - no big deal. When I was in Forks we made plans to have Thanksgiving there…like old times. And I thought it might be a chance for you to meet him - if you want." Inwardly I cringed at the idea of subjecting Edward to the line of questioning Charlie would, no doubt, levy upon him once we stepped through the door. But in the same respect, the idea of my dad meeting my boyfriend secretly excited me.

Edward silently pondered my proposition for a minute or two. Then his face lit up with what I realized was his own version of an epiphany, and I couldn't avoid the smile that must have mirrored his as he spoke.

"I'd love to meet your father, Bella," he said, reaching over to stroke my cheek. "And I think I have a solution to the multiple turkey dinners, as well. Do you think the Chief would mind a party of eight? Carlisle really loves to cook, so your dad wouldn't have to do anything. And I'm sure the rest of the gang would love to spend Thanksgiving all together. What do you think?"

Aside from the sheer number of people descending on Charlie and his little town, the idea had merit. And it thrilled me to consider spending the first real holiday in years with all of the people I considered to be family.

"Edward, I love it," I said. "Let me go call Charlie." Before he could answer, I ran to get my cell phone. After assuring my father that our house could handle seven other adults and a lot of food, and promising him that I'd make sure they were all put up in decent lodging, I ended the call feeling excited and nervous. _Edward is going to meet Charlie. My friends are spending the holidays with me…and my dad._

"Well, Charlie is fine with the crowd coming for Thanksgiving," I said happily, sitting back down at the island. Edward pulled his cell out of his pants pocket, flipped it open and told me he'd handle the rest. A few well-placed phone calls later, and we'd secured the rest of the gang for a road trip to Forks. _Holy shit. _As we sat there, I considered all that this trip could be. For the first time, we'd all be spending a holiday together, with our significant others, in one place. I was so freaking stoked.

"I'll make sure to give a list of all of the local accommodations to Alice, though I doubt the Forks Motel will pass her muster," I said ruefully. Edward chuckled before nodding in agreement. "But there are some chain hotels a bit farther away that might be okay. What do you want to do, Edward? Should I have her book you a room, too?"

He looked down at the counter before answering. "Well, I was, um, hoping…maybe you wouldn't mind…er, or your dad would be okay…if I stayed in the house with you? In separate rooms, of course."

Inwardly, I squealed. "Sure, Edward. I'll ask Charlie if that's okay. I haven't brought a boyfriend home…in a very long time." Edward, perhaps reading the hesitation in my words, leaned over the counter and kissed me.

"Well, then, I'll have to be on my best behavior," he said. "Don't worry, Bella. It will be great." After washing dishes, I reluctantly gave Edward back his shirt so that he could go home. With the promise of staying one night later in the week, and maybe that weekend, he said goodnight and left me to obsess over the evening's events. Too full of food to sleep, I called my mother. She had told me she and Phil would be traveling this week to California…I thought.

"Hi, baby!" my mother's shrill, excited voice blasted through the phone. "How are you?"

"I'm good, Mom. Where are you?" The background noise was deafening.

"Oh, Phil and I are out at a sports bar, celebrating his win," she gushed. "Phil had the go-ahead run, and then in the bottom of the ninth he hit a double and it was the game-winner! Oh, you should've seen it, baby. He was great!"

Instead of picturing my mother's husband in all of his game-clinching glory, all I could picture was a bunch of past-their-prime men, longing for the good ol' days of late night benders without hangovers, flat stomachs and perky-boobed baseball groupies. The opposite, of course, was the reality of Phil and his minor league team of dreamers. But hey, who was I to criticize?

"Tell Phil congrats for me, will you?" I offered, and imagined many pints of beer being hoisted in his honor. "You guys are in California, right? I thought you said last time we talked that you'd be there this week." There was a muffled thud, some talking, and then shuffling as Renee put her mouth back to the speaker.

"What, honey? Sorry. Phil wanted to know if I needed another shot," she yelled. _Awesome. My mother is doing shots in a sports bar._ "Did you say California? It's beautiful here. You should come visit next time Phil has a game here. So many palm trees…"

"Mom, how long are you there for?" My patience with Renee and this phone call were beginning to wear thin, and I began pacing in my living room.

"Oh, only until Thursday night, and then we fly back to Phoenix for a week, and then we're off again to Memphis," she bubbled. "Phil's team made the playoffs, thanks to him, so it looks like we'll be traveling for a while. Want to come and meet us somewhere? We might be back on the West Coast around Thanksgiving."

Thanksgiving with Renee and Phil in some stinky hotel room did not a holiday make. And there was no way in hell I was going to subject Edward to _that._

"Well, actually, Mom, I kind of made plans to have Thanksgiving with Dad," I said, hoping the activities around her would keep my mother distracted enough to dismiss that comment.

"Really? Um…that's nice, baby," she said, not bothering to hide her disappointment. "I'm sure dinner with you and Charlie is much better than takeout with us, anyways."

"Mom, come on," I groaned. "That's not true. It's just that, well, I haven't seen Dad for the holidays in a long time, and I think he misses it. And…it won't just be me this year." The words slipped out before I even considered the ramifications of them. _Shit._

"Is it a guy? Ooh, I bet he's cute. Is he a jock? Emo? Is he smart? I bet he's smart," she said, immediately launching into her inquisition, and I smacked my forehead with my hand. _Dumb move, B._ "Tell me all about him!"

"Uh, Mom, look, I gotta go," I said, desperately searching for a reason to disconnect. "My washing machine is overflowing!" The lie was lame, but it seemed to work.

"I want to hear about him, baby, okay?"

"Okay, Mom, I'll talk to you later. Tell Phil I said, 'hey.' All right, bye, Mom."

"Wait - are you being safe?" At that, I shut my phone with a loud sigh.

Exhausted from the frenetic phone conversation with my mother, I quickly changed for bed and crawled under the covers, my cell phone in-hand. The knowledge of what tomorrow would bring - telling the rest of my employees at S&P about the changes to come - made me crave the plush sanctity of my pillow even more. Hopefully sleep would come quickly.

_**Tired. Going to bed. So glad we talked tonight. Sleep tight.**_

_**Me too. Sweet dreams, love.**_

With Edward's text still displayed on my phone, I fell asleep.

"Esme and I have called you all here because we have some exciting news," I said brightly to the roomful of executives. "Some big changes are taking place, and we need your help to make them as smoothly as possible."

Carefully I explained what was to take place at S&P, and I took notice of the varying looks of surprise that made their way through the conference room. Esme sat to my immediate right; Edward was strategically seated to my left, but slightly farther away than Esme was to me. It was deliberate. A few whispers conveyed my executives' reservations, but I made sure I was clear and strong in my message: change would be a good thing for our company.

"I know you all have come to rely on Edward for his direction, leadership and knowledge, and this will be no exception," I continued, briefly glancing in his direction. "He'll be working closely with Esme while I transition out of this office and into our new one, and I want you to all feel comfortable with confiding in both of them and keeping the lines of communication open. This move will be, in the end, a team effort, and none of _us_ can do this successfully without all of _you_.

"I have the utmost confidence that we can come together during this time, and I feel quite secure in the knowledge that with Esme and Edward here, none of you will miss me at all," I added. Quiet chuckles washed through the room and I smiled demurely. _Bella Swan made a joke. Not bad, girl._ "Now, are there any questions?"

After fielding a few questions on timetables, accounts and possible future job openings as a result of the move, I dismissed the group and encouraged them to head home early. We'd all most likely be working some longer hours in the next month, so I figured a little give and take was in order. Esme and I walked back to our offices and I resumed my task of re-assigning some of our accounts.

Apparently many of the executives took my cue and left work early. Within a few hours, the office was mostly quiet. It was a peaceful quiet. A knock on my door startled me.

"Can I come in?" Edward entered, shutting my office door behind him. He pulled me gently from my office chair and into his arms. He smelled so good, and I didn't even have the presence of mind to rebuke his affection. "No one's here. Even Jessica left early," he added, as if he was reading my mind again. I simply sighed in reply, wrapping my arms around him.

"I'm so proud of you, Bella," Edward whispered, kissing my forehead. "What you did today - it was great. You were awesome in there, and I just wanted you to know that."

I smiled into Edward's chest as my heart swelled. To hear him say those words did funny things to my stomach. It made me happy that he was proud of me. "Aw, thanks, Edward," I said, only half-joking. "Really, though - thank you. It means so much to hear you say that."

"Oh, and just so you know, I know of at least one executive who will most _certainly_ miss your presence around here," he said, his lips millimeters from mine. We both smiled, before Edward closed the small space between us to kiss me quickly.

We left the office together that evening, throwing our briefcases into our matching Audis like we'd done it all on purpose. Edward kissed me once more before telling me he'd call me later. And before I got into my car, a thought occurred to me.

"And another thing, Mr. Cullen," I said cheekily. "One of the things on my to-do list before I leave is to put an end to Aro and Tanya's meddling. I'd like to do this as a favor to you, okay? So just leave it up to me. Trust me. I will be _nothing_ but professional." I winked and slid behind the wheel. That evening would be devoted to dinner with the girls, some drinks and some good, old-fashioned scheming.

"Hey, Alice, it's B," I said as I pulled out of the garage, Edward's headlights shining into my car. "Let's get the girls together. I'm in the mood for some Hump Day drinking, dining and deviance."

_A/N: Well, I hope you all breathed a sigh of relief, and maybe lit a smoke or two (though that's a bad habit, so stop it!). We covered a lot; hope you liked it. Bella's back on the poetry wagon, and this excerpt was _When We Two Parted_ by Lord Byron, of course (no copyright infringement intended). It's a devastatingly beautiful poem, but I couldn't put you through more than one stanza of it and that one seemed to work best._

_Don't forget to visit the HtS thread on Twilighted to submit your ideas for the one-shot! __http:/www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=9356_

_And if you'd like to check out Bella's corset, go here and then click on the color swatches to find with blue one. __.__ . Thanks in advance to Barbi, who said she'd drop the dime to my hubs that I need one of these!_

_Please leave comments/reviews! I love them like makeup sex (you knew I couldn't resist)! _


	29. Chapter 29: Upside down

_Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just decided it was time to shake things up a bit in her characters' world. And I wanted a bitchy Bella, so here we go! _

_Oh, and all of the references used in this story in relation to the advertising and marketing company and accounts are only used here for entertainment purposes; no copyright infringement intended._

_Thank you to the following people: Angelicwish, who has gone above and beyond the call of duty to provide this insecure writer with loads of feedback, advice, beta services and great conversations, and to my Jennay- Love you! __A special thank you to Forever_Liz, Megsly and barburella, and my ficwife SusanAshlea for being awesome in general. You guys help me work through my plot and skittle me silly. Love you all!_

_Again, I must apologize for any delay and off-schedule posting. For the past four weeks I have been relegated to writing chapters at work, after-hours, while I pine away for the new laptop that is taking its sweet-ass time to get to my house. Now that my new lappy Milan has arrived, things will get easier._

_I'd also like to especially thank my loyal reviewers (and my new ones, too)! I don't have time to respond to all of them, but please know I read each one and love you all for your passion and feedback!_

_So now we're going to peek inside Sweetward's brain for a bit. Get ready for it! And since this is a special chapter for me, I've decided to do something a little out of the norm for me – this chapter will feature two POVs. Enjoy!_

_Follow me on Twitter, people! LauraLoo77_

**Chapter Twenty-nine: Upside-down**

_**EPOV**_

What a weird couple of weeks.

The first weekend Bella and I had spent together, post-Chicago trip, had been amazing and such a progression in our relationship. It was like we had truly connected, completely, for the first time since we'd been together. Admittedly, I was on Cloud Nine when the week started, but Bella again showed me why I could never get too comfortable with her.

She was cold, calculating and, fuck, it pissed me off. At first I just silently agreed when she insisted we keep up appearances at the office. Despite my misgivings about pretending we still couldn't stand each other, I could understand that she needed to figure things out and that she didn't want to attract unwanted attention. Professionalism was one thing, but this woman took it to a new level. All fucking week she made me her errand boy - running all over the city doing the most mundane, ridiculous busywork. I tolerated it for a little while, but then lost my shit late that Friday.

Granted, my comment was unprofessional, but her demeanor the entire week had been just as much so. And when my _girlfriend_ lectured me on the finer points of workplace etiquette, and decided to level with me on her perception of our relationship, I knew it was never going to be over - never going to get resolved.

"If they find out that you're fucking your boss, how do you think that'll go over, huh? Do you really think they'll have any respect for you or me? Everything I've worked for will have been for nothing, and your reputation and mine will be destroyed," she'd said, breaking my fucking heart. "So I'm sorry this is so _hard_ on you, Edward, but it's hard on me, too. And I have no fucking idea what to do about it."

_Well, I did. _The floodgates opened, then, and I told her she was selfish, afraid and accused her of always keeping a bit of herself locked away from me. My anger permeated every pore, and I surrendered to it, figuring Bella needed to be knocked down a few pegs. And then she threw Tanya's text in my face. _Shit. I'd meant to change my number._ But then recognition dawned, and I realized Bella didn't know about the text from Tanya the night of the concert; I'd erased it as soon as it had been received. Somehow, she knew. And before I could even make sense of that bit of information, she was throwing Aro at me, along with Tanya, and accusing _me_ of lying.

Tanya, I learned, had texted me again during the weekend, and Bella had intercepted it. All of her fears, insecurities and paranoia were bubbling to the surface like blood from a gaping wound. I needed to staunch the flow. So I ended it.

I barely remember walking out and leaving the office. My brain only registered that I was home when I was sitting in the living room with an empty beer in my hand. The feeling - knowing that I had been the one to stick the proverbial fork in our relationship - was strangely like having been shot with way too much Novocain. My body was numb. Unfortunately nothing could erase my conscience, which was quite aware of what had just transpired.

_I'd just broken up with her. And she'd pleaded for me not to, in the end. But I couldn't back down. This was for the best - for both of us. Right?_

The beers weren't helping to numb my brain - or my heart - so I decided something stronger was in order. I searched through my cabinets until I found the bottle of Laphroaig, and quickly handed myself a heavy pour. With a few cubes and mostly whiskey clinking in the glass, I found my way back to the sofa, untucked my shirt from my pants and loosened my tie.

A quarter of the way through my liquid dinner, I decided to call Esme. I wasn't sure where Bella had gone after our fight, but I wanted to at least check to see if she'd been there, and to fill Esme in. She picked up on the second ring.

"Hey, Esme. It's Edward," I said, struggling not to sound as sloppy as I already felt. "Look, I wanted to call and let you know that…Bella and I…well, we, ah, sort of got into a fight. And I, um, broke it off with her. I'm sorry. I just wanted you to know, in case things are weird on Monday. I don't mean to put you in the middle of our relationship bullshit." The words flowed like the amber liquid in my glass, coating my mouth and making my tongue fuzzy.

"Oh, hon, please don't worry about that. I don't think you've put me in the middle of anything," she replied.

"Um, Esme, have you seen or heard from her?" I couldn't hide the worry in my voice, and was surprised when it came through.

"Yes, she's here and she told me what happened," she answered. Hearing that Bella was there was like a punch to the gut, though I was glad she was safe.

"She was torturing herself, and us, and I just couldn't let it continue, Esme," I explained. Part of me felt guilty for telling my other boss all of this; the other part was compelled to share it with someone, and Esme knew Bella better than anyone. "She's amazing…and I _do_ love her, but she's trying to punish herself, for God knows what, and it's just never going to be good enough. Nothing will. And…I just can't."

Esme said she agreed and that she understood my position, which floored me. But then again, Esme was a constant source of motherly support for all of us; it shouldn't have surprised me.

"I'm not going to let this ruin anything you two have worked so hard to establish, Esme," I continued. "Regardless of our personal relationship, I will continue to work for Bella, and you, if you are fine with that."

" Yes. Of course. I would expect nothing less from you." Esme assured me that Bella would most likely be mulling over the whole thing on the weekend, and I requested that she let me know if she needed anything. We agreed to see each other on Monday, and I hung up. Talking to her had at least calmed a few of my frayed nerves. Maybe the whiskey could take care of the rest.

Seconds, minutes, maybe hours passed by. The golden liquid in my seemingly always-full glass captivated me. As the sun set, I watched the dying rays of light dance and cast a glow through the whiskey and onto the wall. Soon there was no more light in my living room. But I still had the Laphroaig.

At some point, I heard a gentle but persistent knocking on my door, and dragged myself away from my pity party of one in the living room to answer it. Through my bleary vision I saw Jasper standing at my door, takeout in-hand and a strange expression on his face.

"Hey, hoss, heard you could use some comp'ny," he said in his easy twang. I envied Jasper his laidback attitude and accent. Even on the rare occasions where his temper got the best of him, his drawl and accompanying friendliness lent calm to everyone around him. _Maybe I could at least pretend to not give a shit, if I had an accent like that. I should try that someday. I wonder if Jasper would mind if I broke out a Texan accent. _Eventually, I discarded the thought, since I was probably too drunk to speak clearly in even my own. Tonight, Jasper's calm wasn't going to help much.

"Well, shit, J, you're just in time for my pity party!" Ushering him inside, I refilled my glass for what seemed the first time - though the whiskey bottle was suspiciously low - and I trudged back to my cushy sofa and sank into it. Jasper eventually appeared bearing a plate of Chinese food and utensils, and set them before me urging me to eat.

"Man, you gotta eat something," he pleaded. "That shit is gonna wreck ya and I do not have any desire to be holdin' your hand in the ER while those pretty li'l nurses pump your gut." But he sat down next to me and asked to try it. Begrudgingly, I handed over my glass, though I watched him like a hawk.

"Aaah, that there's some good whiskey," he said, nodding in approval as he took another sip.

"Come on, ya greedy tumbleweed. Give me back my drink," I demanded, snatching back the glass and nearly tossing it behind me. I slurped noisily as I drained the contents, and then fell back against the couch, yanking on my hair with one hand.

"Ed, man, what happened to you today?" Jasper asked. His voice sounded like he was talking to me underwater, and it struck me as hilarious. I heard myself snort. _Oh, yeah. Most definitely drunk. _"Start talking, pal."

It took great effort, but I turned my head toward where the underwater Jasper voice was coming from, opened one eye, stifled another laugh at the sight of him looking strangely concerned and decided to spill it. _What do I have to lose? I won't remember this tomorrow, anyways._

"J, me and Bella…well, I ended things tonight," I mumbled, considering whether I could physically handle another trip to the kitchen for a refill. Deciding against it, I remained rooted to the sofa. "Fuck. We're not together anymore."

It was all I could manage; the whiskey and my words weighed a ton. Uncomfortable in the silence that seemed to stretch forever, I dug into the plate of now-cold Chinese food, barely tasting what slid down my throat. Cold Chinese food had a generically pleasing salty taste to it, and my taste buds - like the rest of me - were too drunk to care, anyways. I thought I heard a low curse come from the other side of the couch, and turned my head to Jasper. Noodles spilled out of my mouth and a piece of chicken tumbled onto the floor.

"Shit, man, I'm sorry," he said. "Wanna talk 'bout it?"

Shrugging hard, I chewed for a moment, not wanting to waste any more chicken pieces. "Wff fere fo ffflk bmt?" After I finished my mouthful, I added, "We were together. It was good. She pissed me off. Now we're not. The end."

Jasper was silent again, so I stuffed my face some more, until I was satisfied and he spoke again. Never one to mince words, or speak before considering all the options, I knew it was going to be good, given the amount of time he'd been quiet. Needing something else to occupy me, I kicked off my shoes and pulled off my socks. Maybe if I exposed more skin to fresh air, it would make me feel better. So I rolled up my shirtsleeves as well.

"Edward, I'm sorry y'all split up," he began. "Bella's a nice girl, deep down, and y'all seemed pretty well suited for one another. She's tough, I know, but we all got our shit. You well know what that's like. And consider her position: she's your boss and she doesn't want anything happenin' to you professionally. Now I know she's chappin' your hide, but is it worth throwin' it all away to prove a point? And what _is _your point?"

_Fuck if I know. _

"J, who the hell knows," I mumbled. "She's a scared little girl, and the fucking games were just messing with my head." As if it hurt, I scratched my head and ran my hand through my messy hair. "I mean, I wanted to help her work out her shit. Guess I kind of forgot about that, though, when she accused me of keeping things from her, like Tanya's text. It's like a switch flipped in my head." Jasper nodded but said nothing. Needing another drink - okay, maybe not _needing _one, per se - I managed to get into the kitchen and emptied the bottle into my glass, spilling some on the counter. I dragged my fingers through the spilled whiskey and slurped them clean. Then I made my way back to my friend.

"Wha?" I asked him as I flopped back down. Jasper just shook his head, his mouth turned up in the corner. "I'm thirsy."

The more I thought about Bella, the angrier I became. She had pushed me to do this - hadn't she? Why did she have to act so bitchy all the damned time? Wasn't it a fact that it took way more muscles to frown than it did to smile? She was wasting so much energy on it, and I was tired of it.

But didn't we love each other? This wasn't the kind of thing you do when you love someone - treat them like a dog. _Fetch the bone, doggie. I'll take you for a walk, doggie. Don't poop in my flowerbeds, doggie._ Fuck her. And fuck that. But, sure, she didn't treat me like that all the time, but it was so hot and cold with her. Fast and slow. Stop and go. _I feel a song coming on._

"I mean, J, am I losing my mind? _She_ accused _me_ of keeping shit from her, when she was the one who hijacked my phone to spy on me," I said in a rush. "You can't treat people like that, man. Not someone you love."

Jasper might have said something sage and sensible, but the sound was muffled now, and so I jumped right back into my diatribe on Bella and relationships. And the more I talked, the more pissed off I got. Poor Jasper. If he'd only known what he was getting himself into…

"No. I did what needed to be done," I slurred. "I kept taking her shit, because I loved her, but that was it. Every man has his breaking point, and being accused of lying to my girlfriend, that was it. The last straw. God damn it! Why do I feel guilty? It's not my fault! I don't need this shit! She fucks with my head even when I'm _not_ with her!"

The glass I was holding went sailing through the air, and as the remains of the whiskey slipped out of it, I watched with amusement, before it smashed into the opposite wall with style. Chunks and shards of crystal sprayed from the point of impact like a detonating bomb, and I stepped back in shock.

"Christ, Edward," Jasper swore under his breath. He rose and walked past me, pushing me back against the wall as he went by. "Stay right here. There's glass everywhere. Stay." I didn't move an inch, except for the swaying.

He returned with my broom and dustpan and cleaned up the mess I'd made. If I hadn't been so beyond drunk, I would've felt guiltier. But all I could do was watch him and sway and apologize.

"God, man, I'm sorry," I mumbled. Jasper didn't reply and kept his attention on his task. "Really, J. I'm such an ass. A real dick. I don't know what happened." Once he was finished, Jasper stood with the dustpan full of glass. Anyone else would've been pissed, but he smiled again.

"I know, Ed. I know," he said. "You got mad, and you were itchin' for a bit of destruction, and mission accomplished. No harm, other than to this glass." When he'd thrown it away, he came back and I sat on the couch again. Without my oral fixation to help me, I was at a loss. My thoughts were a confusing, jumbled mess mixed with whiskey and dissipating anger, and I closed my eyes at the strain of it all. There was no more talking. Instead, Jasper took my empty plate and disappeared into the kitchen. Sitting in the silent, darkened living room, it didn't take long for me to pass out.

_**JPOV**_

"Hey, Carlisle! What's shakin,' Daddy C?" I asked as I let myself into my place. It had been a long week, and I was thankful for Friday. Edward's brother didn't call me very often, so I knew something was up. And when he spoke, it was plain there was trouble.

"Hi, Jasper," Carlisle said, his voice worried. "I'm sorry to call you like this, but I just spoke with Esme, and she's worried about Edward. Bella just called her crying, and is on her way over there. Bella said Edward left and that it was over. Can you go to his place and just make sure he's not tearing things up?"

"Course, man. No problem," I said, grabbing my keys and locking the door behind me. It took me a little while to get to Edward's - I stopped for some Chinese in preparation for the most-likely drunken mess I'd walk into - but when I got there the house was dark and quiet. After knocking for about a minute, the door opened.

Edward looked like a damned train wreck. He was still dressed for work, though it looked like he'd been through the spin cycle of a washing machine, complete with wet spots on his shirt that appeared to be his drink of choice. The liquid sloshed dangerously in the glass as he invited me in. The destruction was completed, however, by his expression. It was like he was inviting me in on a funeral. Edward was a mess.

"Well, shit, J, you're just in time for my pity party!" he yelled, stumbling back away from the door. Once I was inside, he refilled his glass, as I eyed him and the bottle. _Shit. Not the Laphroaig, E. _Quickly, I got him a plate of takeout and followed him into the parlor. I tried to plead my case to his sensible side, if it was in there, and explained I didn't fancy making a trip with him to the hospital.

After trying distraction techniques in order to slow his drinking, I finally asked the one thing that most likely drove him to start drinking that night.

"Ed, man, what happened to you today?" I asked. He snorted. _Oh, yeah. Most definitely drunk. _"Start talking,' pal." Edward seemed a bit tongue-tied, but then told me what had happened. Hopefully it made him feel better to talk about it, to know someone was listening. He told me a little bit, and I divulged to him what I thought about it, but it was clear he wasn't functioning on all six cylinders, so I let it pass for the time being. Edward needed to sleep it off, and tomorrow his head'd be clearer.

But then the rage started and it was clear that all I could do was get out of his way and let him get it out of his system. And it seemed to work; throwing the glass against the wall seemed to have a calming effect on him. Thankfully that was the only disaster and mess I had to clean up that night. When I came back into the room, he was passed out, snoring like a drunken sailor. I cleaned up and made sure he was free of any obstacles should he have to get to the toilet. Then I let myself out and got home.

"Hey, sweetness," I whispered as I crawled into my bed. Ali rolled over and looked at the clock, yawning. "Sorry I woke you, sugar."

"Wow, were you at Edward's this whole time?" she asked, the sleep obviously clouding her mind. I nodded and snuggled closer. "Is he okay? I haven't heard a damned peep from Bella, which is making me worry incessantly about them both. What happened?"

"Not entirely sure, sugar. Edward was pretty torn up, even by the time I got there, but from what I could gather, sounds like they broke up," I said, watching as Ali's eyes opened wide. "I'll go back over tomorrow to help him sort out what happened when he's less tanked."

"Did Edward say anything about how it happened?" she whispered, obviously wanting to get to the heart of the matter. I didn't want to tattle on Bella, so I gave her a little information.

"Well, sweetness, it sounded like Bella was a bit rough on the poor guy, and accused him of something he swears he'd never do, and he lost his temper and walked out on her," I said. "Hopefully we'll all know more tomorrow, when cooler heads will prevail."

"She'd better not have treated him like crap," Alice said, now angry. "Jas, I told her Edward was a keeper. I just know it. And I'm not saying she's the only one at fault, but I know how she is, and she'd pushed him so hard already. I swear, if-"

"Ali, sugar, come on now. Let's put this to rest for tonight," I said, kissing her rosy cheeks. "Tomorrow is a new day." We both said our goodnights and I love yous, and were asleep shortly thereafter.

_**EPOV**_

Bright, painful sunlight woke me, immediately followed by the stabbing of a thousand knives in my back and a foul taste in my mouth. Slowly, I opened one eye and then the other, to find that I was lying on my couch, a blanket covering my legs. After my eyesight adjusted to the light, I swung my heavy legs over to rest on the floor, and tried to regain my bearings.

_What the fuck happened to me last night? Oh, yeah. Bella. Laphroaig. Lots of it. Jasper brought food._ Once I was vertical again - and not without great effort and discomfort - I made my way into the kitchen to inspect the damage. The dishes were put away, and thankfully so were the Chinese leftovers and the bottle. Jasper's cleanliness made it easier to stomach the idea that I might have drank more than half of the expensive whiskey in one night, and topped it off with God-knows-what in the way of takeout.

Last night had been a bit of a disaster; _I'd_ been a disaster. My aching head and heart blocked the thoughts that had taken me to that drunken, sloppy place, though I could feel them tugging at the frayed edges of my consciousness. I just couldn't think about _her_ yet. Thankfully, Jasper saved me from myself. My cell phone buzzed, and I fumbled with my cell before managing to press the "send" button.

"Hey, J. Thanks for taking care of my drunken ass last night," I said, before he could even say hello. I felt like a jerk for making him clean up after me. "Sorry about the mess - in every sense of the word. Really, man. Thanks."

"Hey, sure. It happens to all of us, Ed," he said quietly. He laughed before adding, "I'm just relieved you didn't puke on me, or need me to haul your pretty, Yankee ass to the hospital. Aside from what must be one hell of a hangover, how you feelin,' man?"

Truthfully, the brain fog and general sluggishness were the least of my concerns, and the mildest form of torture from my body, given the amount of whiskey I had consumed. And it was nothing in comparison to the sense of utter emptiness that I knew would wash over me the moment I allowed it.

"Eh, I feel a bit like a sloth today, but other than that and the _worst_ morning breath ever, I'm largely unscathed," I joked. "So you just calling to make sure I made it through the night okay?"

"Well, yeah, but I also wanted to offer you some decent sustenance. If it's okay, I'll bring it by. Want coffee?" I gave him my coffee order - lamenting that coffee shops should offer hair of the dog specialties - and decided to shower in the meantime. It felt damn good to wash the alcohol out of my system, though I feared I might smell like Laphroaig for a week, regardless.

I stood in front of the bathroom mirror and assessed my appearance. My stubble and watery, tired eyes certainly made me look the part, and I ran my fingers through my hair in a futile, half-assed attempt to alter my reflection. After my shower, I dressed quickly and then heard a knock, signaling Jasper's return to the scene of the idiocy. I ushered him in with a firm handshake/manly hug, and took my coffee from the container in his other hand. Well, it wasn't a whiskey, but it certainly would do the trick, I reasoned.

Jasper had brought over perfect morning-after carbs: bagels with cream cheese, donuts and a couple of breakfast sandwiches. After inhaling a sandwich, Jasper cleared his throat, and I _knew_ what was going to follow. Apparently the point of his breakfast offering was to tame the wild beast before euthanizing it. But at least the food might soften the blow.

"Ed, what happened yesterday?"

The question was such a simple one. But my mouth was having trouble forming the words in reply. What _had_ happened yesterday? Why was he behavior the last straw? Hadn't I expected it, at least a little? Had I treated Bella unfairly? These were all additional queries floating around my head like imaginary, blue cartoon birdies.

"Fuck. I don't know, really, J," I said honestly. "I just hit my breaking point, you know what I mean? Enough was finally enough. Bella might be an amazing businesswoman, but she's her own relationship poison, man. It was complete self-and relationship sabotage. Do you know that she actually intercepted a text from Tanya to me last weekend? She never said anything about it. Fuck, J. Bella was just never going to simply _be_ _happy_. I don't think it's in her genetic makeup."

"But do you still love her?" Again, Jasper had cut right to the quick of the issue. I nodded my reply.

"Of course I do," I said. "Call me crazy, but I love her – regardless of how much she tortures me and herself. I can't help it."

"You're not crazy, Ed," Jasper said quietly, before popping the last bite of his breakfast in his mouth. "And maybe Bella needs a little time to herself to sort things out. But take the time, too, to think about what you really want, and if _this_ is it."

"Thanks, J."

"Don't mention it, Ed."

Jasper left soon after. The man always knew when it was time to leave - when he had said just enough, or pushed just hard enough. He was kind of freaky that way. But truly, I loved the guy for it. Pushing thoughts of Bella aside for the time being, I got on with my day. Carlisle and Jasper tried to drag me out Saturday night, but I just wasn't in the mood, and told them they'd have a much better time with the ladies.

"Ed, just so you're on notice, Carlisle and I are gonna be forced to have a proper burial for your manly pride and _soon_, if you don't cut out this self-pity, mopin' shit," Jasper said when I turned down his offer. "It's not good for you. Shuttin' yourself off from the world isn't gonna help the hurt."

He was right, of course, but I also knew I'd be shitty company and I didn't want to drag my brother and friend down with my relationship train wreck. And I needed some time to think, and a club or crowded bar was _not_ the place to do that. With a laugh, I assured Jasper that my pride would make a reappearance soon, and told him I was taking his sage advice for the evening. That seemed to satisfy him.

When my brain just couldn't process it anymore, I willed my thoughts of her away, and did everything I could to make the time pass - I read, I cooked myself dinner, I went for a long run. But I couldn't outrun _her_. _Damn it._ What was she doing right now, and was she thinking of me? _Probably not._

Sunday was much the same as Saturday - and Carlisle even called to check in on me. It was beginning to make me feel rather pathetic. He'd gotten off from his shift, and asked me if I wanted to grab coffee. I thanked him, informed him I was fine, and told him I'd take a rain check on the coffee - after all, he hadn't slept in 48 hours.

Monday came surprisingly fast, though it was probably because part of me was hoping to see Bella. But she didn't come in, and Esme and I had to split the workload for the day. It kept me occupied on work, thankfully - until I happened to see a new voicemail on my cell phone around two. I was in between meetings, and stupidly checked the message. It was from Bella. The sound of her voice, as nervous as it was, renewed the anger and frustration I'd felt the Friday before, and I barely paused between deleting the message and turning off my phone. It stayed off for the rest of the day, and I only remembered to turn it on as I was leaving the office. I had been too busy shaking off the delayed disgust of missing a personal visit from Tanya by mere minutes. Seconds later, it beeped, alerting me to a text. I chuckled darkly before opening the message.

_**Edward. It's B. Can we talk?**_

I shut the phone immediately and got into my car. Thoughts of Tanya's possible motives and Bella's phone message and text swirled, mingled and tangled in my mind. What was Tanya up to? And what was Bella trying to do to me? In frustration, I let my head fall against my steering wheel. _Okay, forget about Tanya for now. _Here I was, trying to push myself past the whole mess, and she wanted to _talk. _What was there to talk about? It took me until I got home to make the decision to reply.

_**What?**____Okay, it might have been overly curt, but she'd hurt me._

_**I just want to talk. Pls?**_

_ **Why? **_Suddenly, the one word answers I was giving seemed a bit too harsh. It was clear that she was trying to reach out.

_ **I have so much I want 2 tell u. **_

_ **I've heard it all.**__ I wasn't quite ready to talk to her, so my anger took over. Bella only let seconds pass between my texts and her replies, seemingly undeterred by my unresponsiveness, and I could almost picture her face as she got each one. So I pushed that thought aside and pressed the send button. Almost instantly, she replied again._

_**No, u haven't. Pls. I don't want it 2 b like this.**_

_Bella didn't want this, whatever __this__ was. And, apparently, she wasn't above pleading. This revelation was like a sucker punch to my gut, but still, my nasty texts continued. I felt like I was being set up for yet another fucking game - more like another battle - and my hackles were up. Uncertain of myself and where we stood, it took me a few minutes to reply._

_**What do u want from me?**_

_**Just a chance. Please. I might not deserve u, but u deserve the whole truth.**_

That text was the fatal blow. I collapsed onto my bed, letting the phone drop beside me. Seeing her words was just as powerful, if not more so, than hearing her say them to me in person. There they were in print, preserved in my phone. Bella was putting herself before me in a kind of sacrifice. She was willing to share her whole self with me, it seemed, even if in the end we still both walked away alone. And I was still hurt and pissed, but I wasn't an asshole. If she was finally offering, I was going to take her up on it.

_**Okay. **_

_**When can we talk? Now?**_ No, I replied. I couldn't talk to her right now, no matter how much I wanted to hear her voice. I still needed more time. In my reply, I suggested the next day, after work, not even considering that it might have to be a phone call. I wasn't sure when she was coming back to work.

_**Okay. See u tomorrow.**_ My heart leapt and then took a nosedive into my stomach with the notion that I'd have to face Bella tomorrow. I jumped off my bed and walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water. _Relax, dickhead. She's just another person. Who you love like a fool and would do just about anything for. Stupid ass._ I sat down and turned on the TV to watch the news, trying desperately to calm my now frazzled nerves. It wasn't a big deal. _Just keep repeating that._ When my eyelids started to droop, I switched off the television and refilled my glass, before brushing my teeth and stripping down. Pulling back the covers, I heard a soft thud as my forgotten cell phone landed on the rug.

_**Wait! Edward?**_ Bella had left me another text soon after I'd sent her mine. And then, there was another, sent about 20 minutes after that one. Her pain was tangible and raw, and I felt every ounce of it. It matched my own.

_**Edward, I'm so sorry. **_

_I slept like absolute shit that night. My dreams were dark and vivid and featured a distraught Bella, an evil Tanya and a very confused version of me. When my alarm went off the next morning, I opened my eyes to a bedroom warzone. My pillows were on the floor, along with my blankets and sheets, and my mattress had shifted off the box spring. The lamp on my night table was knocked over and my t-shirt was missing. __What the fuck happened to me?_

_With barely any time to spare, I got into the office and immediately got to work. Just after eight, Esme knocked on my door, and almost had to pull me from my chair. She said she and Bella had something to discuss with me. Instantly, the ball of nerves had settled back into my gut. The short walk down the hall to her office felt like the final walk on death row. I followed Esme through the door like a puppy, with my head down to delay the inevitable. My other boss took the chair to my left, and I finally looked up to meet Bella's gaze as I moved to take the other seat. She looked beautiful, as always, wearing a navy blue skirt and a crisp, white button-down. Her chestnut hair was swept up as it usually was, but today it was loosely held off her neck, with a few curly wisps falling from the loose bun. Her face was hopeful, but markedly reserved. She looked like she was trying to determine whether to stand her ground or flee. I felt the same way._

_A few minutes later, I was back in my office, reeling from Bella and Esme's announcement. Bella would be leaving S&P to open a new office in Portland. __Portland.__ That made things quite clear to me - Bella and I were done, and this was her way of dealing. She was running away from me. Even though I had been the one to end things, I'd held out some hope that maybe we could reconnect; maybe there was a way for us to work things out. But this move spoke volumes._

_At the end of the day, Bella came into my office, and I couldn't avoid calling her decision into question. She explained that it had been in the works for some time, but thankfully she did admit to the timing being perfect, considering we were no longer together. Since there was nothing more to say, I got ready to leave._

"Edward, wait. I was hoping we could talk more," she said as I gathered my coat and briefcase. "There's so much more you need to know, even if this _is_ over."

"Is that what you want, Bella?" Every fiber of my being wanted this war between us to be over. I wanted to hold her, kiss her, be with her. But she had to want it, too, and I wasn't sure if she did. So I waited.

"No, Edward," she said softly, moving closer. "That's not what I want at all. _Not at all._" The silence that followed and the space between us was almost unbearable. But Bella didn't want this to be over, and her answer allowed my hope to be reborn. I agreed to follow her home, so that we could talk more. Bella was nervous, clumsy and adorable as she prepared dinner. It took every bit of restraint not to kiss her; but I was _not_ going to even consider doing that until I had answers. I just couldn't - not yet.

"Edward, I haven't been very careful with your heart. And it seems I've forgotten how to use my own." Bella's admission seemed to appear from thin air, and the frankness of it surprised me. And then she kept going, and floored me once again. "I needed a reality check - a personality adjustment. So…thank you."

Bella told me she loved me - absolutely. That I made her a better person, and that she had struggled immensely in the short time we had been apart. It gave me some small consolation to know that I hadn't been the only one to suffer. And Bella said she _needed_ me, and that the knowledge of that had frightened her.

"You told me I was scared, and you were right," she said. "I'm scared of everything: loving you as much as I do, needing you so much, hurting you so badly that we can't get back what we had. But I can't be afraid for the rest of my life, and I'm tired of running. I've been carrying around these ghosts for so long, and I think I'm finally ready to let them go."

It was such a relief to hear her say those words. Bella was finally willing to give herself a break, and maybe, to give us a chance. I couldn't wait any longer - I had to touch her. With my fingers, I massaged her hand, and our touch was electric, just as it always had been. Bella seemed to be done speaking, and I wanted to ensure she knew I appreciated the gravity of what she had given me.

"Thank you for being open with me," I said, squeezing her hand. "I can imagine how difficult that must have been for you. It means so much that you trust me with those things, Bella." In turn, I was honest about how Bella's accusations had affected me, and that I'd reacted in anger. She needed to know that there was no one else. _There never will be, really._

"Bella, you shouldn't have to be alone, just because you haven't got it all figured out yet," I said. "No one's perfect. And I want to help you make peace with whatever haunts you. We can do it together."

As soon as the words leaped from my mouth, I knew they were true. I _wanted_ to be Bella's shoulder, her rock, her support system. I wanted to be all of that for her, and more. We were both very imperfect creatures, but we were perfectly flawed _together._ I loved her and I wanted her in my life. And I told her so.

"I love you too, Edward," she whispered. "And I want you in my life, too. Always."

"Promise?" With my question, I finally gathered the courage to kiss her. And when I did, everything felt right again. All of the misshapen, missing puzzle pieces found their rightful places. The connection that Bella and I shared, I knew now, could withstand our own egos and insecurities. It had to. We both needed to travel the road back to _us_ - together.

"Promise," she said, before kissing me back.

_A/N: So, what did you think of poor, emo Sweetward's version of events? I hope it wasn't too repetitive, but I felt he needed to be heard, since Edward doesn't share what happens to him with anyone. _

_Don't forget to visit the HtS thread on Twilighted to submit your ideas for the one-shot! __http:/www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=9356_

_And if you'd like to check out Bella's corset, go here and then click on the color swatches to find with blue one. __.__ . _

_Please leave comments/reviews! I love them like Edward's drunken snorting! Haha!_


	30. Chapter 30: Drinks and deviance

_Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just decided it was time to shake things up a bit in her characters' world. And I wanted a bitchy Bella, so here we go! _

_Oh, and all of the references used in this story in relation to the advertising and marketing company and accounts are only used here for entertainment purposes; no copyright infringement intended._

_Thank you to the following people: Angelicwish, who has gone above and beyond the call of duty to provide this insecure writer with loads of feedback, advice, beta services and great conversations, and to my Jennay- Love you! __A special thank you to Forever_Liz, Megsly and barburella, and my new ficwife SusanAshlea for being awesome in general. You guys help me work through my plot and skittle me silly. Love you all!_

_In case any of you are wondering, here are some fics that are completely devastating me right now (please go check them out on FanFiction or Twilighted) –Tre by my sweetie Megsly (update soon!); Paper Heart by Hez_Pixie; Finding Forever by SusanAshlea; 15 Step by Jenny Jerkface; Becoming Bella Swan by BellaFlan; and The Misapprehension of Bella Swan (Regarding the Inferior Intellect of Hockey Whores) by hunterhunting. My list of favorites is getting ridiculous. Just read these. You're welcome._

_So we're moving on with Bella back at the helm. Giddyup!_

_Follow me on Twitter, people! LauraLoo77_

**Chapter Thirty: **Drinks and deviance

"Deviance? Oooh, B, that sounds like my kinda night!" Alice exclaimed as I sped down the road toward home. "Do you need me to handle the 'calling all ladies' thing? What time? Where? What are you wearing?"

"Definitely. I'm on my way home. Do you mind calling Rose and Esme?" I asked, pulling up to a light. Edward was still behind me, and he playfully flicked his high beams on and off at me. _Too bad I can't give him a show._ Instead, I tapped on my brakes in reply. What I really wanted was to spend the night with Edward, but he and I needed to proceed slowly, and besides - I needed some quality time with the girls. We needed to plot my assault on Aro and Tanya. This harassment was going to _end_.

"No problem," she chirped. "I think Emmett and Rose were having dinner out tonight, but I'll just have her meet us at Alibi - unless you'd like to go somewhere else. We have to celebrate her engagement, and your impending debauchery!"

"I do my best thinking and drinking there, Alice. That's fine. Let me get home and change and then I'll meet you there. Call you when I'm in my closet, okay?" I eased my car into the parking garage and parked quickly, eager to get out night underway. Running up the stairs was _not_, in fact, the best idea I'd had all day, and I nearly yard-saled in front of my door.

After a quick shower, I dried my hair until it was smooth and straight, and then I stood in front of my open closet feeling completely out of my element. Aside from the one outfit I knew I looked good in – that red top and jeans – I was a complete lost cause in the non-office fashion department. Thankfully, though, I had a secret weapon.

"Okay, Alice. I'm literally standing in front of my closet," I said. "I need you."

"Oh, B, what would you do without me?" Alice asked cheerfully. "Look in the very back of your closet on the right side. There's a beautiful little black dress back there with the tags still on it. Put that one and pair it with your Laboutins. Done. Easy. Hot and sexy. You're welcome."

The dress was Laundry by Shelli Segal, and in an onyx satin that clung perfectly to every one of my curves. The halter thrust my chest up and out, and the diagonal pleating across the short dress added visual interest. It was comfortable and classy, but undeniably sexy. I made a note that I'd have to wear this dress more often.

"Alice, you're a genius, woman," I said, digging through my clothes and procuring the dress in question, right where she said it would be. "I owe you a drink. A big one." In fact, the outfit gave me a brilliant idea. After dressing, I reached for my phone and aimed the camera at myself. I snapped a picture and quickly sent it to Edward with a text.

_**You like? Wanna see more later?**_ It took all of 10 seconds for my phone to beep with a reply. I giggled as I opened the text, hoping my amateur photography had had the desired effect. Edward did not disappoint.

_**You kidding me? If I get to see more later, I will promise you'll never want to wear clothes again.**_

His text nearly set me on fire, and I had to force myself out the door. Thankfully Alice had offered to drive that night, and Esme was sitting in the passenger seat of her sports car when I got outside. As I crawled into the back seat and flopped against the leather, Alice eyed me from her rear view mirror with suspicion.

"You okay, Bella? You're all red in the face," she said, casting Esme sidelong glances. "Are you feeling all right? We don't have to go out tonight, you know…if you're not feeling well."

"Alice, I'm fine. Just a little…warm. Let's go."

We chatted amiably about work, play and the men in our lives. Esme and Alice said they were proud of me for patching things up with Edward, and gave me praise for finally being completely honest with him. I asked them about Carlisle and Jasper, and was happy when they both reported being happy and completely in love. It was so good to see my friends with good men. The club was crowded but not packed when we arrived, and we got a table quickly thanks to Rose getting there before us. As soon as we had an appetizer and drinks in front of us, we toasted to Rose and Emmett, and to lifelong friendship. We talked about our new plans for Thanksgiving - all of us together in Forks - and laughed about the possibility that Charlie would be shell-shocked from the event until next year.

"Okay, B, so what's this I hear of a plan to foil the dastardly Aro and that bitch Tanya?" Esme blurted out, prompting me to nearly spit out my martini. Alice, Rose and I immediately erupted in a fit of giggles and guffaws. "What?" Esme asked, seemingly confused by our reaction.

"It's just that…Es, I don't think I've heard you utter a swear in all the years I've known you," I explained once I had stifled my laughter. "I didn't know you had it in you, lady. I like it!"

Esme joined in the laughter the second time, blushing furiously. After we'd regained our control, the other girls turned to me in silent prompt of an answer. I shrugged my shoulders.

"Well, Tanya has been harassing Edward, I think professionally on behalf of Aro, and personally for her own benefit," I explained, finishing my drink and hailing a waiter. "After our confrontation at the convention, I thought I'd make it clear that it was not acceptable for Aro to try and steal one of our employees. Apparently, the message wasn't clear enough.

"I just want to deter him permanently from trying it again with Edward - or any of our other executives," I continued. "As for Tanya, I'm not sure why Aro's put all of his faith in her. She's about as useful as a leadless pencil. Girls, we need to come up with a plan. Nothing illegal, but something to scare them both away for good."

The silence that followed told me that all three were thinking hard of the possibilities. Alice suddenly jerked her up and her eyes lit up with an idea.

"I've got it! How about we try to catch Aro and Tanya in a sex scandal?" she posed excitedly, clasping her hands together. "It'll be splashed all over the Wall Street Journal. All over Money Line. I can see it now. Oh, B, he'd have a hard time living that one down. Volturi Enterprises' founder and CEO, reduced to a two-timing philanderer. Both he and Tanya would be ruined."

"Alice, I love the idea, but…I think it might be a little too close to home - you know?" I said, smiling ruefully. "And besides, without proof, we have no whistle to blow, so to speak. But I like the way you think, honey."

"What about if we go after him the old-fashioned way, Bella?" Rose offered. "You said he had done some seedy, illegal shit in his day running that place. Accepting bribes, padding politicians' pockets for votes and clout and clients, taking lavish trips on company money. And what about Tanya? Has her appearance changed at all? Nose job? Boob job? Fancy clothes? It's likely he's her old, crusty sugar daddy. Why else would she be in so tight with him?" The idea certainly had merit, but without an inside contact, my allegations were simply that. And I had no doubt that the man was thoroughly connected and protected. And that he probably had some of those Feds in his back pocket.

"Unfortunately, Rose, that's by far the best idea, but also the most difficult," I said. "Someone really should nail his crooked ass to the wall. But I think that's a little out of my league." We were all silent for a while, sipping drinks and snacking, and then Esme smacked her hand on the table.

"I've got it! Ha-ha – I've got a great idea!" she exclaimed. "Why don't you just go over to his office and threaten him? These are all great ideas! And Aro doesn't have to know that we don't actually have any solid proof. Sometimes a good threat is all you need."

"Esme, you are a genius," Alice exclaimed, bouncing in her seat. "Bella, march in there and threaten him with exposure, the FBI, and 20 to life in the pen. You and Esme - and probably the rest of the social media community in Washington - knows he's a bad seed. I'm sure someone has something _somewhere_ on him."

This was a good idea. And we all knew I had the brass balls to pull it off. Aro had, in all probability, amassed a long list of enemies and potential whistle-blowers over the years, of which he was probably aware. It wouldn't take much, maybe, to suggest S&P was one of them. But it was risky, to say the least. A man as connected as Aro would also have plenty of protection.

"This is risky, guys," I said, echoing my own thoughts. "Aro is very well connected, if you know what I mean. Hopefully my threat will be enough to get him to back off of Edward, but not enough for him to think of me as a real threat. This could totally backfire."

We all sat and mulled over my statement while sipping our drinks. Suddenly my bravado seemed very misguided. I knew I had to do something; Edward was worth fighting for. But what?

"Bella, you're right. Maybe we should take a milder tact on this," Esme said. "You can't just walk in there and yell at Aro - even if he only finds it mildly amusing. It's too dangerous. But maybe he'll tell you why he has such a boner for Edward." We all laughed as my dearest friend once again lightened the mood, and I signaled the waiter for another round.

"I'm just going to walk in there and talk to him," I offered. "As two professionals, I'm sure we can work something out. He is a human being after all - isn't he?" Inexplicably, a mental image of Aro with fangs, crawling out of a coffin sprang to mind, and it sent a shiver down my spine. _I mean, he is human, so I'm sure he's capable of reason. Right?_

With my "plan" in place and the night growing late, we paid for our drinks and made our way outside. Unwilling to let this dress - and my desire for Edward - go to waste, I quickly sent him another text as we left the bar.

_**You awake?**_

_** Yeah. You coming over?**_

Edward was _definitely_ okay with me paying him a late-night visit. I replied and slipped my phone back in my purse. After kissing Rose goodnight, Esme, Alice and I piled into her car and sped off toward home. I asked Alice to stop at my place so I could grab my small overnight bag, and then drop me off at Edward's. It was on her way - and Alice couldn't pass up a chance to facilitate a lovers' rendezvous - so of course she was more than happy to oblige. For a moment, I wondered if it seemed desperate for me to invite myself over Edward's, but I _truly_ missed him already.

"Have a great night, B, and call me in the morning if you want a ride home before work," Alice said when I closed the car door. The light over the back door illuminated the side of the house, but otherwise the windows of Edward's house were dark. Quickly I scanned each window, suddenly wondering if Edward had fallen asleep, but then I saw a faint glow coming from one of the upstairs rooms, and I sighed in relief. "I'll keep my cell on."

"Thanks, Alice, but I might just have Edward come in early with me," I said, ducking my head inside the passenger side door to kiss Esme's cheek. "Es, see you tomorrow morning, 'kay?" The two of them waited until I had let myself in before driving away. The house was quiet when I stepped into the kitchen, aside from the quiet drone of the refrigerator. Unwilling to shatter the stillness, I slipped off my shoes and picked them up, walking into the living room. Once I reached the landing at the top of the stairs, I stopped and put my bag down in the hall. The music that drifted from behind the closed door of Edward's study was soft, tender and heartbreaking.

Tiptoeing to the door, I stood there for a moment just listening with my eyes closed. When I couldn't leave him alone any longer, slowly, I pushed the door open. Edward's back was to me, but what I could see of him was mesmerizing enough. His messy hair shook slightly with him ministrations; the nape of his neck disappeared into his heather grey thermal, which hugged his muscular back perfectly. I watched, rapt, as the muscles in his back flexed minutely as he played. He wore dark blue flannel pajama pants and his feet were bare as they pushed on the pedals of his baby grand. He was beautiful.

As I stepped inside the room, I finally noticed that it was bathed in soft candlelight. There were candles scattered throughout the room, seemingly on every flat surface, and the flames cast dancing, golden shadows on the walls.

"Bella." Edward's voice tore my focus away from the scene and he gasped when my eyes fell on his. He drank in my appearance with hungry eyes as I walked toward him.

"I could watch you play for hours," I admitted as I came to stand beside him. Edward turned so that he was facing me and wrapped his long, talented fingers around the back of my knee, gently pulling me closer. "That song was beautiful." Instead of answering me, Edward took my heels out of my hand and dropped them on the floor next to him. Both of his hands skimmed my legs and traveled up until they rested on my hips. I leaned down, grasped his face with both hands, and kissed him. We kissed softly at first, savoring the feeling of our lips touching, but I craved more of him - I always did - and my kisses grew desperate and hard. Soon we were both panting with need, but Edward gently pulled away.

"Hi," he said, his chest rising and falling with his elevated heartbeat. His emerald eyes were dark in the low light - like a deep forest - and his lips were a perfect carmine pink. The candlelight flickered across his face, highlighting his cheek bones and jaw line.

"You're beautiful," I whispered, unintentionally voicing my thoughts. I couldn't help the blush that blossomed across my cheeks and down my neck. "Hi." Edward kissed me once more and chuckled lightly into my mouth.

"_You_ are beautiful," he corrected. "This dress…" His fingers trailed over the fabric appreciatively, tickling my skin underneath and leaving a path of ignited desire in their wake. "Did you have fun with the girls tonight?"

"Yes," I said, nudging his legs open so I could stand between them. "But I'll tell you about it later, okay? Will you play some more for me, please?" I watched the subtle shift in Edward's features as he realized that I truly wanted him to play for me, and with a crooked smile, he turned back toward the keys and began. I moved to stand behind Edward so I could watch him as his fingers fluttered over the ivories, but I couldn't keep my own hands to myself.

So as to not interrupt his impromptu performance, I lightly rested my hands on his shoulders, enjoying the small movements of his body beneath them. My lips found his neck and I focused my attention there, tasting, kissing, sucking and nibbling as his fingers continued. Then my hands wandered down his chest, and when my fingers skimmed his nipples as my lips closed around his earlobe, his playing faltered but did not stop. I ran my fingers through his hair as I worked my way along his jaw, finally capturing his lips with my own. Edward stopped playing and turned toward me, but I shook my head as I pulled back slightly.

"Please…keep playing," I said, the desperation in my voice tangible. "Don't stop." Edward took my hand and eased me around the piano bench so that I was between him and the piano. Easing the zipper of my dress down, he slipped it over my shoulders and let it slide to the floor. I stood there as he assessed the black slip I wore under it, letting his roaming hands create ripples in the satin and lace. His hands squeezed my ass and guided me to straddle his lap, and I sat down and immediately pulled Edward's thermal over his head.

_Music, in variety thrives,  
And the glory of song is within your eyes.  
Trumpets and drums and fiddles too,  
Reflect the songs I find in you.  
Violins cry, cellos moan,  
With music of dreams, of love, of home.  
Deep within a piano plays,  
Springing forth to you this day.  
Providing a home for it and you,  
I give you love and devotion too._

"Play for me, Edward," I asked again as I kissed him hard. His hands left my body and music filled the room once more. The song was different - passionate and frenetic - and resonated through my entire body. We continued to kiss even as Edward played, with our bodies pressed together. It seemed to serve as inspiration for Edward's music, which only increased my arousal. The song was soon punctuated by my quiet moans and Edward's heavy breathing.

He eased me back against the keys, and his fingers abandoned the song in favor of my skin. His lips were on my neck, my hands running through his hair. I could feel his hardness through his thin pants, adding heat to my wetness, and I whimpered when he shifted me. Edward's hands roamed my body with abandon, and I arched my back against the piano as he slid one strap of my slip off and palmed my breast.

"Oh, God, yes!" I cried as his hot mouth covered my nipple. He licked a trail over to the other side, where he repeated the gesture. I was already so close to the edge, a bundle of raw nerves and desire, that when Edward's fingers wandered past the inside of my thigh and brushed my core, I shuddered violently. His dick twitched with the realization that I was bare underneath, and he wasted no time in slipping two fingers inside me. He groaned as they slid in easily, and when he kissed me again, I came hard.

"Fuck, Bella," he groaned as he stroked me through my orgasm. He removed his fingers and kissed me again before standing quickly - with me still wrapped around him - to divest himself of his pajama bottoms. With another quick movement, his sat us back down on the piano bench and sheathed himself inside me. "God, you're amazing. So wet for me."

Using his hands, Edward gently lifted me up and down over him, sliding me almost completely off his length before pulling me back down again. I leaned back to create more friction, and Edward stood us up and reclined me against the piano. He reached for his discarded pants and placed them behind me as a cushion. And then he wrapped my legs around him and entered me again with a forceful thrust that left me breathless.

"Edward! Yes!" I cried, incapable of forming sentences as he pumped in and out of me. My fingers skidded along the smooth wooden surface of the piano top, searching for something to grip. With the top open, however, there was nothing to hold, so I hung onto Edward instead. His arms strained with holding me so that he didn't slam me against his piano, and I watched the tendons flex and elongate with each of his thrusts.

"I'm going to come again," I whispered hoarsely, just before it shook me like a mini-earthquake. My back arched involuntarily at the force of my orgasm, and Edward took the opportunity to suck on my breasts again as I thrust them in his face. As he kept moving in and out of me, my bottom bumped the keys, creating a soft cacophony of random notes every other second. It was perfect music to my ears.

"Bella, I…you feel so good," Edward managed in a strained whisper. The arousal and raw emotion in his voice sent another rush of wetness over his cock, and I felt him grow harder as he felt it. "You're perfect." I could feel him bringing me to the edge again, and I knew he was close as well.

"Come for me, Edward," I said, as I felt my own orgasm take over. "Please." A few moments later, Edward pumped one last time and then stilled as he came inside me. When we'd both come down, he released my legs and I slid down and away from the piano. Edward sat us both down on the piano bench again, and cradled me to his heaving chest. Neither one of us spoke for a while.

"Edward, I think I have an idea for how to get rid of Aro and Tanya for good," I began. At that moment, I needed his blessing and support on this, even if it was a bit foolish to go up against Aro. "It's a bit risky, but it's the only thing we have. I'm just going to go talk to him."

Edward jerked his body away from mine and I shivered with the forced separation. The look on his face made it clear that he did _not _approve of our big plan.

"Bella, absolutely not! I do _not_ want you walking into the lion's den like that! It's not worth it," he said angrily, his hands now gripping my arms. "What could be gained from it? If anything, won't it provoke him further? And not that I don't appreciate you being my knight on the white steed and all, but come on. I can take care of myself." Clearly I'd wounded his pride, but this was about more than pride to me. This was about protecting my company, my employees, my boyfriend and my integrity. And I was not going to stand for it.

"Edward, I know you can handle it, but don't you see? You shouldn't have to," I said, trying to reason with him. I shivered in between sentences and Edward pulled his thermal over my head. "You're an employee at S&P, and I'd do the same for anyone else there. I'd still march my ass in there and tell him to knock it off. No emails or phone calls or records. Just the two of us having a conversation." Then, considering Edward's point of view and status as my better half, I added, "But you can come if you want. For moral support."

"Can we talk about it tomorrow?" he asked, kissing my nose. "When are you planning your offensive attack?"

"Hmm…I think Friday," I said. "Best to do these things at the end of the week - it gives you the weekend to calm down…or grow to regret your decision. You know? So, will you come with me?"

"Sure," he said, kissing my lips. "We'll discuss it more tomorrow. Now enough shop talk. You know, I bet this is the most action this piano has ever seen in 70 years, Bella." Edward kissed me and moved us off the piano bench and onto the couch. For a while we simply laid there naked together with a throw over us, talking softly about Edward's piano playing, my night out with my friends, and what the rest of our week held. We talked about Thanksgiving, and I was reassured that he was clearly excited with the prospect of meeting Charlie.

"So, is your dad a sports and beer kind of guy, an outdoorsy type, or a workaholic like his daughter?" he asked playfully, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear before kissing me lightly. "I want to make sure I'm prepared with the proper sporting equipment." Picturing Edward in a camouflage hunting vest and hat with a rifle perched on his shoulder prompted a hearty laugh, which I tried unsuccessfully to stifle.

"What?" Edward's face twisted in confusion and it only made me laugh harder. Soon the tears rolled down my cheeks and I had to share my visual with him. He narrowed his eyes and pouted in mock hurt. "Guess that means I need to bring my gun, huh?"

"No, Edward. Actually, my dad loves all of those things, with the exception of reading, unless it's a Field and Stream magazine," I said. "You don't have to do any of that to impress him, though. Just spending the holiday with us is more than enough."

Realistically, I knew Thanksgiving would be a lot for Charlie to handle – my friends and my boyfriend all under his roof and converging on him like a swarm of friendly but boisterous bees. Charlie was a largely solitary man, aside from a few close friends and me, but he'd seemed up for it. Hopefully he'd be pleased to meet Edward and see how wonderful he was for me. To say I had high expectations for that weekend would have been putting it mildly. But I was bringing Edward _home_ to meet the only other man in my life who meant the world to me. It was important.

"I hope he likes me," Edward whispered, rolling over so that he was on top of me. "Because I _really_ like his daughter and I want to make a good impression." His lips brushed mine and what began as chaste pecks quickly turned into hot, open-mouthed kisses.

"Mmm…you make a _great_ impression," I said softly, shifting so that Edward was between my legs. His hardness was poised at my entrance and I guided him inside me without preamble. "I love you, Edward."

"And I you, Bella," he said in my ear as our bodies moved together.

_somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond  
any experience, your eyes have their silence:  
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,  
or which i cannot touch because they are too near_

your slightest look easily will unclose me  
though i have closed myself as fingers,  
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens  
(touching skillfully, mysteriously) her first rose

or if your wish be to close me, i and  
my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,  
as when the heart of this flower imagines  
the snow carefully everywhere descending  


I woke when Edward brought me to bed later that night and I wrapped his arms around me as we curled up, naked and spooning, in his bed. Sleep came quickly after we kissed goodnight and the alarm was soon beeping relentlessly in my ear. Groaning, I rolled over to find Edward with his head already buried beneath his pillow, muffled protests coming from his side of the bed.

"Bella, please shut it off," he whined as I rolled back to slap the off button. "Ugh. Too early." He'd set it nice and early for me, for which I was thankful, and I kissed his exposed hand in thanks before sliding out of bed. I ran the water in the shower and got in once it was hot. My back was a bit sore from the previous night's activities, but otherwise I felt amazing. I toweled off quickly and wrapped it around my wet head before going back into Edward's bedroom.

"Oooh, the sexy turban look," he said from bed. "I like it." Edward was sitting with two pillows propping him up, the sheets barely covering him. _Delicious._ Instead of jumping back in bed with him, however, I dried my hair with the towel, balled it up and threw it at him.

"Oooh, the sexy Bedward look," I said, mimicking his tone. "I like it."

"Bedward?"

"Yeah - your sexy, bed-head, sexed-up look," I explained while I searched for my clothes. I'd packed a skirt and shirt that were wrinkle-resistant, thank goodness. After I was dressed I pulled my hair back into a loose bun and put on my makeup in the bathroom. Edward was in and out of the shower quickly, and I watched him dress with undisguised lust.

"I think that shirt is my favorite of yours," I said, running my fingers down the front of his blue-green button-down. "It makes your eyes almost look blue. It's very sexy." Edward chuckled and kissed me before reaching for his tie. It was a plain black and set off the bright color of his shirt even more.

"Thanks, love," he said, tightening the tie around his neck. He reached for his jacket and gave me a good once-over, adding, "You look especially hot today yourself. Are you ready to go? We can stop on the way in for breakfast if you'd like." We paused on our way out the door for coffee - Edward had set the timer on his coffee pot - and he poured two travel mugs for us. Once I was in his car, I forcibly shoved thoughts of a married couple on their way to the office, ala "Working Girl," out of my foolish head.

Work was busy as always, but my impending departure and establishing the new office put a frenetic spin on everything, and I found myself exhausted by 5 p.m. that day. Edward and Esme popped in to check on me a few times, for which I was eternally grateful, as it reminded me I couldn't hide in my office under a mountain of paperwork. I made the rounds, checked in with the executives and even chatted to Angela about her sister's wedding. It was a good day.

Edward and I had ultimately settled into a nice balance of professionalism and lightheartedness; we both agreed that we needed to stop taking our love-hate work relationship so seriously. At first, a few jaws dropped open when I _stopped_ being nasty to Edward, but the other executives quickly realized that I'd softened a bit toward everyone, and the atmosphere at S&P had never been better. But then again, maybe they were all elated at the notion of my departure.

"Knock-knock," Esme said, stepping through the open door. "How you doing in here, B?" Her coat was draped over her arm. Where had the day gone? I looked outside to see that it was snowing quite heavily. "You heading home soon? The weatherman said it might get nasty later. Something like seven more inches tonight. Yuck. Maybe Carlisle will come over with his snow blower tonight if I tempt him with dinner."

"Es, I don't think you'll even need dinner to tempt him, but I'm sure he'll appreciate the good meal," I said, smiling. "Yeah, I'm heading home soon. I'm just waiting for Edward."

"So are you still planning to go down to Aro's office tomorrow?" Esme asked with trepidation in her voice. "I'm just nervous about the outcome, B."

"Absolutely," I said. "Es, even if he laughs at me, I feel like something needs to be said. He can't do this to us. It's unethical and immoral and even though he hasn't offered anything on paper to Edward, it's bribery, at the least. He's a shark, Esme, and it's time for him to stop circling."

"Be careful, Bella," she pleaded.

"I will, Es. Thanks. Have a good night, and tell Carlisle we said hi, okay?"

With Esme gone, I neatened my desk and shut down my computer before grabbing my coat and gloves. Then I walked down the hall to Edward's office. He was on the phone.

"No. Absolutely not! And you know I have never led you to believe that," he said. Edward was clearly enraged by the person on the other end and he didn't even seem to notice me standing in the doorway. "Do _not_ call me again - on my office phone _or_ on my cell phone. I'm serious, Tanya. I don't want to see you or hear from you." He slammed the phone on the receiver and I gasped. His eyes flew up to mine and the anger etched across his face immediately softened with worry.

"Bella, I didn't hear you come in," he said, walked over to me and pulling me into a hug. I simply stood there like a dummy, too shocked to wrap my arms around him. Tanya had called him at the office. Was it the first time? "I'm sorry you had to hear that. She's never called me here before."

"Edward, this needs to stop!" I yelled. "How many times has she called you or texted? Have you ever answered her or texted her back? Please - I need to know." Edward vehemently shook his head and told me that since Chicago, she'd texted him twice (I knew about those) and called his cell phone once. Adding to that her visit to S&P and phone call today, and I was ready to explode.

"She cannot get away with harassing you like this," I seethed. "I'm going to rip her fucking head off!"

"Bella, she _won't _get away with it, okay? Tomorrow when we go to Aro's office, I'm going to pay her a little _visit_ while I wait for you. If she tries it again, I'll slap a harassment suit on her ditzy ass." He smiled down at me, obviously trying to lighten the mood, but I was too wound up to appreciate the gesture. "And why don't we go tonight to get me a new phone number?"

Begrudgingly I agreed to let go of my anger for the evening, pocketing it for tomorrow as ammunition at Edward's behest. We walked out of the deserted office hand-in-hand, and after going to the cell phone store to get Edward a new number, he brought me home. The snow was falling heavily and it cast a fluffy layer of silence over everything.

"Edward, I don't know if I can do this tomorrow," I said, my confidence suddenly in short supply. "Maybe I'm crazy for doing this. I just can't believe Tanya. I don't know…"

Edward slid a finger under my chin and turned my head so I was facing him in the car. His eyes were clear and his face was determined as he assured me it would be okay.

"Hey. Stop talking like that," he ordered softly. "You are the most incredible woman I know and you can do this. Now, I'm not going to force you in there tomorrow if you're not up to it, but I know how passionate you are about S&P. I'll support you either way. I've got a new cell number, so Tanya can't reach me anymore with that. It's a start. We'll figure out the rest, okay? I love you." I leaned over the shift to kiss him, comforted by his confidence in me.

"Thank you, Edward," I said. "Your faith in me means so much. I love you, too. I'll see you tomorrow, 'kay?" We said goodnight and I ran through the snow and up to my door. Once I was inside, I waved to Edward's headlights, and then turned on the heat and got settled. Pasta was in order tonight – good comfort food – and a chick flick to get my mind off tomorrow's agenda. I retired early, but not before sending Edward a text.

_**Good night. Happy new phone #! Love you.**_

_** Thanx. Love you too. See u in the am. XOXO **_

Friday went by quickly - as usually happens when you have something unsavory to do - and Esme wished me good luck again before she left for the day, with instructions to call her when I got home. Alice and Rose both texted me to wish me good luck and to "kick ass," which I saved in my phone for posterity and last-minute moxie. Finishing up a late-day email, I closed up shop and walked down to Edward's office again. He was gathering his things and smiled when I peeked into his office.

"Ready, Freddie?" I asked, trying to ignore my nervous stomach. We left our cars in the garage and took a cab the 15 blocks to Volturi Enterprises. As we pulled up to the imposing office building, my stomach did a flipflop and I thought I was going to be sick. Edward, seeming to sense my nerves, kissed me and rubbed my back soothingly.

"Love, it's going to be all right. You're going to be fine," he said as we walked through the revolving doors and into the stone lobby. "Now go in there and kick his creepy ass - metaphorically speaking, of course."

"I can do this. I can do this," I chanted quietly in the elevator. When the doors opened with a ding, we walked straight toward the two oversized wooden doors with the elaborate V and crest over them. It was now or never.

"Ready?" Edward asked, squeezing my hand.

"Ready."

_A/N: Sorry for the long wait, my darlings. I hope this chapter made your pain and suffering a bit more manageable. This chapter featured "A Piano Plays" by Dennis R. Graham, which I thought was perfect for that scene, and "somewhere i have never travelled" by e.e. cummings._

_Don't forget to visit the HtS thread on Twilighted to submit your ideas for the one-shot! http:/www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=9356_

_Here's the link to Bella's cocktail dress. I know it's not black, but in my world it is, okay?_

_http:/www(dot)overstock(dot) _


	31. Chapter 31: Ready or not

_Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just decided it was time to shake things up a bit in her characters' world. And I wanted a bitchy Bella, so here we go! _

_Oh, and all of the references used in this story in relation to the advertising and marketing company and accounts are only used here for entertainment purposes; no copyright infringement intended._

_Thank you to the following people: Angelicwish, who has gone above and beyond the call of duty to provide this insecure writer with loads of feedback, advice, beta services and great conversations, and to my Jennay- Love you! __A special thank you to Forever_Liz, Megsly, Hez and barburella, and my new ficwife SusanAshlea for being awesome in general. You guys help me work through my plot and skittle me silly. Love you all!_

_In case any of you are wondering, here are some fics that are completely devastating me right now (please go check them out on FanFiction or Twilighted) –Tre by my sweetie Megsly; Paper Heart by Hez_Pixie; Finding Forever by SusanAshlea; 15 Step by Jenny Jerkface; Becoming Bella Swan by BellaFlan; The Ride of Your Life by Forever_Liz; and The Misapprehension of Bella Swan (Regarding the Inferior Intellect of Hockey Whores) by hunterhunting. My list of favorites is getting ridiculous. Just read these. You're welcome._

_Now, what you've all been (hopefully) waiting for!_

_Follow me on Twitter, people! LauraLoo77_

**Chapter Thirty-one: **Ready or not

Edward allowed me to walk through the heavy, wooden doors of Volturi Enterprises first, despite every fiber in my body screaming to turn tail and simply forget about my foolish idea. _But no! This needs to be done, and you _can_ do this, Bella. Get a grip, woman!_ His hand was lightly but firmly placed on my lower back. It was like pushing the planchette on a Ouija board – it kept me moving forward, even though he wasn't doing it with force. Edward was my own version of the ideomotor effect.

A pretty, auburn-haired woman sat at the steel and marble reception desk, a cheesy smile plastered on her spray-tanned face. _Of course Aro would have a hot receptionist. How very predictable._ She was typing and had a small headset on, though it was only an earpiece and a small speaker - very high-tech looking.

"Good evening. Welcome to Volturi Enterprises," she chirped. "My name is Heidi. How may I help you?"

"Yes," I croaked before clearing my throat. "Bella Swan to see Aro, please." Heidi seemed perplexed by something I said, and she nervously typed away on her computer for a few moments before reassembling her pearly smile. _Definitely veneers. And possibly a boob job._

"Do you have an appointment?"

_Damn it. _"No, but I've known Aro for a long time, and since it was late on a Friday, and after normal business hours, I didn't think it would be a problem," I said firmly. I didn't give a shit what the crusty bastard was doing. I wasn't leaving until I'd spoken with him. "I won't be more than a few minutes with him."

Anticipating Heidi the Roadblock, I started walking away from her desk and toward the inner sanctum of Aro's empire. The doors to his private office were off the main reception area, and the ostentatious fucker had the gall to have custom doors created with gold leaf accents, again with the Volturi crest upon them. The man took excessive pride in his family name - I'd give him that. But it was much too easy to find him.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Swan, but Mr. V has requested that he not be disturbed this evening," she stammered, rising from her post. Edward had followed me through the room and my hand was poised on the heavy brass doorknob. "He's in a meeting!"

Frankly, I didn't care. Edward's concerned voiced floated through the stuffy air as I twisted the knob.

"Bella, maybe we should wait -"

"No way, Edward," I said. "We've come this far. And if Aro and Tanya can intrude in our lives, we can _certainly_ intrude upon theirs for fifteen minutes on a Friday night."

Using all of my strength I pushed the doors open, with Edward right on my heels. Aro's office was like nothing I'd ever seen. It was opulent, grand and entirely gaudy and pretentious. It was more like his throne room than an office. An oriental rug muffled our footsteps over the marble threshold and busts stared at us from their wooden pedestals. Scalloped nooks were carved into the dark, walnut paneling of the walls and expensive-looking oil paintings hung from wires affixed to the crown molding. A Tiffany lamp illuminated the man who was like icing on this stuffy, pompous cake.

Aro was perched at a marble desk and ornately carved chair. And as I strode into the room, the look of utter shock on his face was priceless. In all my years of knowing him, I'd never seen him taken by surprise. That alone was worth the price of admission.

"Uh, Isabella…my dear," he said, in a tone I could only describe as nervous. "Edward, how nice to see you as well." Then I heard an unmistakable _thunk_, followed by a low curse, from a distinctly feminine and _familiar_ voice, coming from under his desk. My mouth dropped open and I looked over at Edward to find his expression mirrored my own. _What the fuck?_

"Aro…is there someone you'd like to introduce to us?" Thankfully Edward had found his voice; at least one of us had. His sarcastic question rightfully sliced through the tension in the room, just as Heidi reached Aro's office doors. Then things all seemed to happen all at once. It was like I was watching a soap opera play out before me on TV, and I was too aghast to change the damn channel. Heidi had obviously been unaware of the "meeting" to which Aro had referred when he told her no interruptions.

"Mr. V, I told them you were not to be disturbed, but they-"

The sentence died on her lips as a blonde head emerged from under Aro's desk. _Tanya._ One hand rubbed the undoubtedly sore spot on her head as her other wiped away the remnants of lipstick from around her mouth. My brain was misfiring frantically in its attempt to make sense of what I'd just walked in on, but was coming up short. Finally, some clarity: Edward and I had just been delivered our meal ticket and on a silver platter, no less, by both Aro _and _Tanya. It couldn't have been more perfect - or damning. Inwardly, I was doing a touchdown dance.

"That'll be all, Heidi," Aro managed, straightening his tie as if that would somehow distract all three of us from the scene that had unfolded. Apparently Heidi was a reasonably intelligent woman, because she quickly backed out of the office, shutting the heavy doors behind her.

"Tanya, you may leave as well," he said to her in a clipped tone. Watching Aro lose his cool would definitely be the highlight of my day, I decided. "Thank you."

"Oh, no you don't," I said, finally finding my voice. I crossed my arms over my chest and stepped toward the two of them. "Please, Tanya, won't you stay? What I have to say concerns you _both._" I watched as Tanya's blue eyes danced from me to Aro and then to Edward, before settling on her designer shoes. _Tanya was Aro's whore. Well, that's _one_ way of getting far in business, I guess._ Suddenly the seductress looked like a scared kitten.

"Aro, I'd come in here to attempt to reason with you on a professional level, but I see now that maybe that was the wrong tactic," I said sarcastically, not even attempting to mask my loathing. "Since Chicago, you have continued to attempt to exert your influence over S&P in a pitiful attempt to woo Edward over to your company. Your _Tanya_ has done nothing but stalk and attempt to cajole Edward and he's made it clear he's not interested. My guess is that you're allowing and maybe even encouraging this behavior. It stops now."

"I've never given either of you any indication that working for Volturi Enterprises interests me in the least, yet you continue to harass me," Edward added, coming to stand next to me. "And Tanya, I meant what I said yesterday - no more contact or I'm going to get a restraining order against you. I'm staying at S&P. End of discussion. And I'm _not_ interested in anything you have to offer. _Nothing_."

Aro seemed momentarily flummoxed by our joint statement, but the creepy smile wasn't far behind as he smoothed his long hair, gathered himself and positioned for attack. But we had the upper hand this time, and I had every intent of reminding him.

"Isabella, Edward, surely you are not insinuating that _I_ had anything to do with this behavior," Aro cooed, completely ignoring Tanya while she gaped at him with her mouth open. "Something like that would be unprofessional at the least, and certainly inexcusable. Need I remind you both that I operate a very lucrative business here? I think Marcus and Caius would be…disheartened to hear of your perception of things."

"And I'm sure Marcus and Caius would be equally _disheartened_ to hear that you're engaging in elicit sexual activity in the office with an employee," I spat back at him. "And need I remind you, Aro, what Edward, Heidi and I just walked in on? I do believe that you and the others might, in theory, frown upon this sort of behavior. I want the communications and harassment to stop now, and I want you to leave S&P and Edward alone."

I wasn't foolish enough to blatantly threaten Aro, but I let the implication of that sentence hang there between us as he seemed to ponder my proposition. Tanya watched us as she bit on her red manicured nails and I wondered if Aro had paid for her upkeep. Sadly, her behavior didn't surprise me in the least, though I would have expected Aro to at least be more careful. If his wife ever found out, she'd surely have him castrated. _And he knows it._

"I think a compromise is certainly acceptable, under the circumstance," he said, straightening his jacket. "We will meet in the middle." He stood from his desk and walked to the other side of it so that he was inches away from me and Edward. Tanya wisely slunk back against the wall, most likely trying to disappear all together.

"Good. Then we are agreed?" Edward asked.

"Hmmm…" Aro hummed, running his fingers over his pocket watch while he studied us. "Most of us would trade much for such a gift, and yet you…"

"Enough, Aro," I interrupted. "These are the terms. No more communication from you or Tanya to S&P or any of its employees. Tanya will cut off contact with Edward, and neither of you will ever bother us again. In turn, we will keep today's indiscretion between us."

"Do we have an understanding?" Edward asked again. Aro approached us with his hand out, and I let Edward shake it first. Then Aro looked hopefully in my direction and I reluctantly slid my fingers into his clammy grasp. After shaking I immediately withdrew my hand and let it fall to my side, an inch from Edward's. Without even looking, I knew his hand was there. The familiar electric current buzzed over my skin, tickling the hairs on my forearm.

Aro clapped his hands together and grinned, seemingly oblivious to the weight of our exchange.

"I love a happy ending," he said gleefully. "They are so rare." He ushered us out with a smile and a wave at the door, and then closed his office to us with Tanya still inside. I didn't want to stick around to see what happened when he refocused his attention on her. The thought made me shiver as we rode the elevator back down to the lobby. Edward was quiet the entire way and didn't speak until we slid into a cab and headed back to S&P.

_We are born with luck  
which is to say with gold in our mouth.  
…we are born and that ought to be enough,  
we ought to be able to carry on from that  
but one must learn about evil,  
learn what is subhuman,  
learn how the blood pops out like a scream,  
one must see the night  
before one can realize the day,  
one must listen hard to the animal within,  
one must walk like a sleepwalker  
on the edge of a roof,  
one must throw some part of her body  
into the devil's mouth._

"Wow. I cannot believe what just happened up there," he said, his breath coming out in a _whoosh_. "What were the odds of something like that happening? I'm just in shock!" Edward pulled me across the seat so that I was snuggled against his side. After kissing me, he smiled, and I finally relaxed into his embrace.

"I know," I said simply. "We _literally_ caught Aro with his pants down." It took a few moments for all of it to sink in, but once it did, both of us doubled over in laughter. The cab driver glanced at us in his rearview mirror and smiled. He pulled into the garage at S&P, Edward paid and I slid out after him. Snow was falling again and I wrapped the collar of my wool coat tighter around my scarf-covered neck. After a quick check of the time, I motioned for Edward not to leave and gave the girls a call to adjust our evening plans. While I was speaking with Esme, Alice and Rose, Edward turned on his car and mine and cranked the heat in both of them while he waited. In less than five minutes everything was set.

"How does pizza and beer at Chez Swan sound?" I asked him as I sat in his passenger seat. "Of course, it will be with the girls, so if you feel threatened by that much estrogen, speak now or forever hold your peace." Edward pretended to consider my proposal deeply, even rubbing his chin for effect, before the telltale crooked grin and sparkling green eyes gave him away.

"Sounds great," he said, leaning over the gearshift to kiss me. "But what are the chances of me getting you all to myself at some point this evening? Hmmm?" Edward nuzzled my neck with his nose, somehow finding skin beneath all the scarf and coat, and kissed my neck until he reached my jaw. As he continued placing feathery kisses behind my earlobe and toward my lips I moaned quietly. Barely two days had passed since my sleepover at Edward's, but it seemed much longer.

"I'd say quite good, Mr. Cullen," I said, letting my head fall back to give him better access. "You know, I _could_ come down with a freak case of the stomach flu or a migraine…and then it could just be us." Edward's lips were doing funny things to my brain again. _Whose idea was it to ditch the girls?_

"Uh-uh. If I'm invited to this lady's pizza and beer night, no reneging," he teased. "It would be nice to see Rose and Alice again, too. But if you want some girl time, I can be fashionably late. Isn't that what they call it?"

We agreed that Edward would go home and shower and then come over a bit later for dinner with the girls. That would give me time to intercept any curious questions and satisfy Alice's need for gossip. Edward didn't need to relive the entire Aro experience. I kissed him goodbye - a nice, long kiss - and got into my car, which was now perfectly toasty.

An hour later, the four of us were lounging on the couch drinking wine while my Greek pizza baked in the oven. Rose's boisterous laugh filled the living room, while Esme seemed at a loss for words. Alice, as usual, said what was on all of our minds as I regaled them with highlights of Edward's and my evening.

"And you actually caught Tanya blowing him? Awesome!" she exclaimed as we all cringed with the unspoken act now unceremoniously thrown at us. "Priceless!"

"Yeah," I muttered. "Anyone have any brain bleach?" I shivered. Esme shook her head.

"I still can't believe that you guys caught them _both_ in the act," she muttered. "Unbelievable." A knock on my door signaled Edward's arrival, and I practically ran to the door. I flung it open and threw myself at him, not even allowing him to step foot inside. Hushed snickers and giggles didn't faze me one bit as I kissed Edward openly in front of my friends.

"Well, hello to you, too," he said after I separated my lips from his. "Miss me?" Edward gave me a crooked smile and held up a 12-pack of Coronas as if they would be the key to his acceptance into the girl party.

"Of course I did," I answered, taking the case and pulling him inside. "Thanks for coming over and for bringing beer. Pizza's in the oven and we were all just talking about Aro and Tanya's _mishap_ this evening." Gently I shooed Edward into the living room with a beer and went to check on my dinner. A few minutes later I returned with another beer, the wine bottle and some cheese and crackers, to find Edward sitting in between Alice and Esme, laughing and filling in the details of our encounter for the girls. _If I only had a camera…_

"Bella was great! You guys should've seen my girl. She marched her ass right in there and was _not _going to be deterred," Edward said, glancing at me and smiling. "And I wish I'd had a camera when Bella told Tanya she wasn't leaving the room. Fucking genius."

"But you guys, Edward was the one who came up with the _perfect_ one-liner! I was fucking speechless, and he asks Aro if there's someone he'd like to introduce us to," I exclaimed. "Now _that_ was brilliant!"

We talked about the fortuity of the entire adventure until the pizza was done and then Edward cut it and brought it into the living room as I trailed behind him with plates and napkins. It was a perfect end to a long week and an evening I was glad to share with my three friends and my love. As the hour grew late and the bottle of wine was depleted, my eyes wandered to Edward more and more. Here he was, sitting with a bunch of women, seemingly having a blast. Edward not only seemed completely at-ease with my girlfriends, but was thriving in the sea of estrogen and giggles.

"You're pretty amazing. You know that?" I whispered to him before kissing him quickly. "I love you." Edward's gaze softened even more, and he kissed me playfully on my nose.

"Love you, too," he whispered.

Soon, there were hugs and kisses and promises of phone calls and get-togethers for the weekend as Edward and I said goodnight to Rose, Alice and Esme. Of course, Alice couldn't leave without giving me a knowing wink and adding, "Have a nice night, you two." I shook my head as I shut the door behind her. Edward and I cleaned up quietly before collapsing on the couch together.

"Hell of a week, wasn't it?" I asked him, sipping the remnants of my wine. Edward hummed in agreement as he ran his fingers through my hair, but was otherwise silent. We sat there quietly, together, until Edward's lips on my temple roused me.

"Come on, Bella," he whispered, taking my empty glass from me and lifting me from the couch. "Time for bed." I protested, afraid he'd hurt himself lifting me at such an angle, but he shushed me and cradled me in his arms as he walked into my bedroom. After sitting me on the bed, Edward undressed me and helped me into my tank top and pajama bottoms. I scooted under the covers as soon as he pulled them back for me and then he kissed me on the lips and smoothed my hair off my forehead.

"Good night, love," he said. When I protested going to bed alone, he assured me that he'd be right back, explaining he was only going to lock up and turn off the lights. Edward backed out of the bedroom and as soon as the door shut I bounded silently out of bed to brush my teeth and wash my face. Once I was snuggled under my blankets again, however, sleep overtook me quickly, even though I was still alone.

Some time later - it could have been minutes or hours - I felt the bed give under Edward's weight. My hands immediately sought him out until they found his muscled arm, his warm, naked chest and his sharp jaw, softened slightly by stubble. I kissed every part I touched, saving his lips for last. His fingers were gentle and firm against the small of my back as we kissed.

"Please, Edward? I need -" I didn't have to finish my sentence. Without another word, Edward slipped my tank top over my head and then pushed my bottoms off. I blindly kicked them away under the covers and Edward moved himself on top of me and between my legs. My desire for him cut through my drowsiness like a sharp knife and he slid inside me easily. We moved together slowly, reverently, and in complete adoration of each other. It was exactly what we both needed, it seemed. Moments after I climaxed with stars brightening my vision in the darkened bedroom, Edward followed. After kissing me passionately once more, Edward moved behind me and pulled me against his chest. We both fell asleep quickly, sated and happy.

The week of Thanksgiving had arrived and Monday and Tuesday of that week I had spent countless hours checking in with Charlie to make sure he was prepared for his houseguests. Alice and I had taken care of the food shopping, although my dad insisted on buying the turkey. I felt certain that if Charlie could have found one, he would have shot it and brought it home fresh. The thought turned my stomach and I pushed the idea out of my mind.

"Okay, Dad. We'll be there tomorrow night, around dinnertime," I told him Tuesday afternoon. Luckily, the majority of us had jobs that afforded time off for holidays and Esme and I had decided to make Wednesday a short day so that everyone could get home to their families. The gesture had not gone unappreciated. "Alice and I will pick up pizzas on our way to the house, and just pull out the turkey to defrost it, okay?"

Charlie agreed and assured me he wouldn't forget his one crucial Thanksgiving dinner task. I also double-checked with him to make sure it was all right if Edward stayed in the house while the others stayed at the town's only inn.

"That's fine, Bells," he said. I could practically feel the Dad Stare through the phone. "But he stays on the couch, okay? I know I'm old-fashioned, but…"

"Dad, it's totally fine," I said. "Actually, that's what Edward was planning on doing. He's old-fashioned, too, you know." I heard my father make a snorting sound through the phone and hoped it was only teasing. I say goodbye to Charlie, promising that I'd see him soon.

The drive to Forks seemed longer this time. Edward and I took his car, which normally would have driven me a bit batty. I had decided, however, that it would be a welcomed change. And besides, I reasoned, I'd never ridden with Edward. The others were following behind in the Land Rover. We talked amiably for a while about the long weekend, about my dad and about the probability of Emmett making an ass out of himself at dinner. I dozed a few times along the way. For some reason, riding in a car like that always lulled me to sleep.

"Bella, love, wake up," Edward said, his fingers soft against my chin. "I just drove by the sign. Welcome home." Anxiously, I looked around for any signs of change to the small town since the last time I'd been there. A shiver coursed through my body at the realization of the reason for my last visit.

"You okay?" Edward's face showed his concern, even though he kept his eyes on the road.

"Yeah. I'm fine," I said, leaning over to kiss him. I rubbed my hand along his thigh in a gesture that was supposed to be soothing, but I had trouble keeping my fingers away from the bulge in his jeans. Edward groaned and shook his head.

"None of that, now, missy," he mock-scolded. "I can't very well show up on the Chief's doorstep with a boner, can I?" The image was enough to get me to behave and I apologized. "What would he think of me then?" We laughed as Edward pulled up to the house. The SUV was right behind us and Alice jumped out of the front seat like an excited child. She practically skipped past us on her way up to the front door.

"Bella, this is going to be so much fun!" she squealed as she ran by me. Without any hesitation, Alice bounded up the front steps and I watched as she knocked at the same time she opened the front door, calling my father as she closed it behind her. Esme stood beside me, looking wistfully at the house.

"It'll be so nice spending Thanksgiving here," she said softly. "It's been too long." She gave me a warm smile and linked her arm through Carlisle's before they both headed back to the rover to get the bags of groceries. I walked over to where Edward was standing and took his hand in mine. It was a bit clammy but he squeezed mine and gave me a slightly nervous crooked smile.

"Ready or not," I said to him, smiling back. "Charlie's gonna love you. Come on." Gently I pulled him up the stairs. Before I could even turn the doorknob. However, Charlie was standing there, all smiles and nerves. _Good old Dad. Already a bit overwhelmed._ He looked quickly from me to Edward and then back to me.

"Hey, Bells," he said, hesitating for only a moment and then pulling me across the threshold and into a hug. I gladly embraced him and eyed Alice over my shoulder, already sipping some tea. I pulled away from him and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Dad, this is Edward Cullen," I said, stepping aside to let him into the entryway. "Edward, this is my dad, Charlie Swan." The two shook hands firmly and I watched them. Their expressions were both unreadable. Were they sizing each other up? _Shit. Come on, guys._

"Chief Swan," Edward replied after a few moments. "Thank you so much for inviting us here for the holiday." Slowly, the non-expression on my father's face was replaced by a warmer one. It was a slight change, but one I could recognize: his mustache twitched and his eyes crinkled in the corners. A hint of a smile was concealed under his facial hair as he nodded to Edward. Alice came to the rescue, just as a knock on the door cued Charlie in to the rest of our entourage.

"Charlie, why don't you, Edward and Bella go relax in the living room?" she suggested, pushing past us as we clogged the entry. "I've got hot tea on the stove and I'll help Esme and the others with the bags. Go. Sit!"

Rather reluctantly, Charlie led the way and I stopped to fill three mugs with hot water before following them. It was what I supposed was a typical scenario of the boyfriend meeting the father for the first time - my dad was sitting in his recliner, eyeing the shotgun over the mantle like he wished he could be cleaning it, instead. Edward sat uncomfortably on the edge of the couch, looking everywhere but at Charlie. It was precious and infuriating at the same time.

"Dad, been fishing lately?" I asked as I handed him a mug and then another to Edward. "How's Billy?"

"Yeah, went last weekend," he replied, blowing on his tea before taking a drink. The tension left his shoulders a bit as he answered my questions. "Billy's good. Still a pain in my ass, but he's good." He took another sip and then shocked the shit out of me. "So, Edward, tell me what you do at Swan & Platte. You're head of something, right?" _Smooth, Dad. Real smooth._

"Ah, yes, advertising and marketing, sir," Edward answered. "It's been great. Um, it's been wonderful working with Esme and your daughter. They've both taught me so much." It took all of my inner strength not to roll my eyes and bury my face in my hands. I could almost _hear_ my dad's thoughts. _Oh, I bet you've learned a lot from my daughter._ Thankfully, Charlie surprised me again.

"Do you like to fish, Edward?"

"Ah, sure Chief Swan," Edward answered nervously, glancing at me as if to say, _help_.

"Why don't we go early tomorrow morning, then? A little early Thanksgiving celebration. Just us men." Charlie seemed proud of his idea. "Do you think the other guys would like to join us?"

"Dad, I'm sure Emmett, Jasper and Carlisle would much rather sleep in tomorrow," I said, patting Charlie's shoulder and hoping like hell that my expression told Edward he was much better off in a smaller "hunting" party. "Besides, they're all staying at the inn and that means they'd have to get up even earlier to meet you here." Edward, for his part, didn't hesitate to back me up.

"You're right, Bella," he said. "Let them sleep in. I'd be happy to go with you, Chief."

Charlie put his arm around my waist and nodded with a smile before standing up. The others had put away the groceries and entered the living room.

"Good, then it's settled," he said cheerily. "You and me, Edward, 4 a.m., nothing but our poles, fish and maybe some breakfast sandwiches." He walked over to the men and women, hugged Esme and then met Rose, Emmett, Carlisle and Jasper. "Oh, and Edward? Call me Charlie."

_A/N: So…what did you all think of the might Aro? *wink* This chapter featured excerpts from "The Evil Seekers" by Anne Sexton. I took out some lines and smushed them together._

_Don't forget to visit the HtS thread on Twilighted to submit your ideas for the one-shot! http:/www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=9356_

_Please leave me your thoughts and comments. I love them like Edward and Bella loved Aro finally getting his karmic bitch-slap._


	32. Chapter 32: Wetting a line

_Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just decided it was time to shake things up a bit in her characters' world. And I wanted a bitchy Bella, so here we go! _

_Oh, and all of the references used in this story in relation to the advertising and marketing company and accounts are only used here for entertainment purposes; no copyright infringement intended._

_Thank you to the following people: Angelicwish, who has gone above and beyond the call of duty to provide this insecure writer with loads of feedback, advice, beta services and great conversations, and to my Jennay- Love you! __A special thank you to Forever_Liz, Megsly and Barburella for being awesome. I love you all for your parts in making this fic hopefully pretty damn okay. _

_In case any of you are wondering, here are some fics that are completely devastating me right now (please go check them out on FanFiction or Twilighted) –Tre by my sweetie Megsly; Paper Heart by Hez_Pixie; Finding Forever by SusanAshlea; Not Bad Enough by jlnar19; 15 Step by Jenny Jerkface; Becoming Bella Swan by BellaFlan; and The Misapprehension of Bella Swan (Regarding the Inferior Intellect of Hockey Whores) by hunterhunting. My list of favorites is getting ridiculous. Just read these. You're welcome._

_It's been a wild and wonderful ride with you all, and I appreciate all of the love you've given me and this fic. Please know I appreciate every review, tweet, rec and note of encouragement. Now, without further ado, the final chapter…_

_Follow me on Twitter, people! LauraLoo77_

**Chapter Thirty-two: **Wetting a line

"'Can't Touch This!'"

"Jasper, the category is movie titles," I managed between fits of laughter. Emmett seemed to be doing his best impression of the Running Man in the middle of the living room as half of us tried in vain to guess. Unfortunately for Emmett, we were largely coming up short. Sweat glistened on his forehead as he tried another clue.

"Four words. First word."

"Oh my God, Emmett, you look like a trained monkey," squealed Alice, which elicited a belly laugh from Charlie. "I have no idea. Crazy." Emmett made a motion like he was driving and then opened his mouth and eyes in shock or fear. I couldn't tell. "'Ace Ventura: Pet Detective!'"

Emmett shook his head furiously at Alice as she giggled again, and then he proceeded to motion like he was pulling things out of his hair, looking at them and then writing with them.

"'When Harry Met Sally!" yelled Carlisle. Emmett was now completely discouraged and apparently out of ideas. I watched the clock as it ticked down the remaining seconds.

"Okay, time's up," I said. The rest of my team groaned.

"Guys, it was 'Ferris Bueller's Day Off!'" Emmett said as if it were as plain as day. "I was doing the running through the yards thing, and the guys taking the Ferrari for a joyride, and then Rooney's secretary pulling pencils out of her hair! Come on!"

As the odd man out this round, I tallied the scores and announced that it was now seven to six in favor of Edward's team. Emmett, of course, demanded a rematch to get the chance to redeem himself, but it looked like everyone else was ready for bed. Alice was curled against Jasper's side, her feet tucked neatly under her; Esme rested her head against the couch cushions while Rose ran her fingers lazily through her hair.

"Well, guys, I think it's time we call it a night," I said, glancing at Edward. "These two have an early start, and you all need to be in top form for all of the gluttony that is going to take place tomorrow."

Once the others had left, my father reappeared with a set of sheets, a heavy blanket and a pillow and plopped them on the couch in the living room. He eyed Edward and me, rubbed his chin and then ruffled my hair.

"Well, I'm turning in," he said. "Night, Bells. Edward, I'll see you at 4. Don't stay up too late, you two. And…I'm right upstairs if you need anything, Edward." The last part was definitely a warning.

"Thanks, Chi-Charlie…sir," Edward stuttered. With a nod, my father slowly climbed the stairs and shut his bedroom door. I exhaled once the house was silent and began transforming the couch into a makeshift bed for my boyfriend. While Edward got ready in the bathroom, I changed into my pajamas and then I washed my face and brushed my teeth and Edward got settled on the sofa.

"I don't think I've ever seen those PJs," he commented when he gaze fell on my blue flannel pajamas with crescent moons and stars. "Adorable." He reached up and pulled me down and on top of him and I suppressed a giggle.

"Easy, tiger," I teased. "My dad's got a few shotguns, remember?" To torture us both further, I grabbed Edward's face and kissed him long and hard. As our tongues sparred in our mouths, I felt Edward grow and harden beneath me. We both groaned when his hands found my ass and squeezed. What I wouldn't have given for my own bed at that moment - or Edward's.

"Well then, love, you'd better get off me before the chief finds us naked and going at it, which is _exactly_ what he'll see if you don't head upstairs in the next 60 seconds," Edward said, gently kissing my cheeks, chin and nose. Unwilling to spend a night alone in my childhood bed with Edward so close, I whined and kissed him again. But I knew it would be like having a death wish to be making out with Edward in the living room.

"Good night, Edward," I said with a sigh. "I love you."

"Night, Bella," he said huskily. "I love you, too."

After tucking Edward in, I climbed the stairs to my childhood bedroom, my twin bed, to the rhythm of Charlie's snoring. Now unaccustomed to the noise, I tossed and turned for some time and finally gave up and flicked on my bedside lamp. It was just before 1 a.m. and the house with quiet, save for the occasional snort coming from down the hall. I reluctantly got out of bed and tiptoed downstairs for a drink; the house was cold and I couldn't exactly recall which of the floorboards creaked. Carefully, I slid my wool-clad feet along the floor in an attempt to keep silent. After pouring a glass of milk I abandoned it on the counter to warm and went to check on Edward.

He was adorably rumpled, his arms thrown over his head as if on a roller coaster. Edward's hair was in unbelievable disarray, even for him, and the blankets were almost entirely on the floor. His t-shirt had risen and the trail of hair that disappeared into his shorts taunted me. Edward's face was a mask of complete calm, despite the disorder around him. Thinking he must be cold, I quietly knelt down beside him and gathered the blankets.

"Charlie…" Edward murmured, and I froze with the blanket poised over him. A few seconds passed, and then, "I love her, Charlie." My eyes grew wide and the tears immediately blurred my vision. _Edward was talking about me to my dad in his dreams._ But what was he talking to him about? "I promise, Charlie." I nearly woke Edward up at that statement. Regardless of the meaning, it was a promise, and one that Edward imagined making to my father. My toes were suddenly numb as I lightly placed the blankets over him, careful not to interrupt his dreaming. I brushed the hair off his forehead, whispered an "I love you," and went back to retrieve my nighttime beverage. Once I was back in bed with my battered copy of Pride and Prejudice, my mind drifted back to Edward's sleep-talking and I couldn't help but wonder.

His time with Charlie, I hoped, would be positive for both of them.

The sounds of laughter and fishing poles clanking against the wall in the kitchen woke me up Thursday morning. Rolling over, I looked at my clock – 8:33 a.m. Edward had been fishing with my father for over four hours. Thankful they hadn't gutted each other with the filet knife, I trotted downstairs and took in the scene: Charlie _laughing_ as he took off his fishing hat and vest; Edward at the kitchen sink washing his hands, still wearing one of my dad's old hats with the wide brim. The hat was torn, had rust and fish gut stains on it and must have stunk to high hell. And Edward still hadn't taken it off.

"Good morning, you two," I said, announcing my presence finally. Both men immediately looked up at me and smiled. The fishing, it seemed, had been good.

"Morning, love," Edward said, coming over to kiss me briefly. The hat _did _stink.

"Hey, Bells," Charlie said. "Sleep well?"

"Yeah, Dad," I answered. "Thanks. Happy Thanksgiving! Did you two have a good time? Catch anything?"

"Charlie and I each caught one, but they were small," Edward said with a grimace. "But it was pretty quiet. Peaceful." I caught an unspoken exchange between them, but before I could ask either what was going on, my dad derailed my train of thought.

"So, Bells, when were you going to tell me about your leaving Seattle to open a new office?" he asked, reclining in a kitchen chair. I looked helplessly at Edward, who I knew had spilled the beans. He shrugged.

"Sorry, Dad," I replied. "It wasn't deliberately keeping it from you, but…" I didn't really have an answer. "Well, it all happened rather quickly and I…I wanted you to be proud of my decision." As soon as the words left my mouth, I knew they were true. Charlie sniffed quickly, his features softening infinitesimally.

"Bella, I've always been proud of you," he said. "You've worked hard. And on the occasion that you stumble, you always make things right." He glanced at Edward and the gesture wasn't lost on me. "Portland, huh? You'll be commuting all that way?"

"Thanks, Dad. Yeah, for now," I answered. Secretly, I'd hoped that at some point Edward and I could maybe find a place of our own that was in between our offices, but I certainly wasn't ready to play that card. First, Edward and I needed to be secure - back to good.

Edward excused himself to go shower and I began making breakfast. Only eggs, bacon, home fries and toast would do for my two adventurers. After whipping the eggs and pouring them into the pan I tossed some potatoes, onions and seasonings into another pan and let them cook. Charlie came back inside, having stored the poles in the shed, and took an audible whiff of my meal-in-progress.

"God, Bells, I miss your cooking," he said wistfully, standing over the crackling bacon. On instinct I swatted his hands away and shooed him from the stove. With a chuckle he stepped away and resumed his seat at the kitchen table. Looking over my shoulder, I jokingly threatened to cut off his fingers if he tried it again.

"So…what ever happened to that problem employee of yours?" Charlie hinted as I worked. "I heard you had a run-in with her." I rolled my eyes to no one in particular and filled him in on Tanya's abbreviated career at S&P, followed by her employ with Aro and our two rather colorful confrontations. By the time I was finished Edward had returned and breakfast was ready.

We ate in companionable silence, only occasionally punctuated by groans or "Mmmms" of appreciation. Once we'd finished, Edward helped me clear the table and then offered to call Alice to coordinate dinner plans. Before going outside to call her, he leaned over to kiss me.

"Love you," I whispered, softly enough that my father didn't hear me.

"Love you, too," he whispered back with a crooked smile.

As I washed the dishes, I was aware of Charlie's eyes on me. He wanted to say something, but was struggling to find the words. I knew his silence quite well.

"You're different," he said. Stunned by his statement, I turned away from the sink. He was studying me, his eyes twinkling.

"How so?" I asked.

"I don't know," he said, struggling to explain. "It's almost like you're a bit softer around the edges. At peace. Less frantic." Laughing lightly in response, I shrugged and dipped the dirty pans into the suds-filled sink. _Was I really different? Maybe for the better?_

"Edward does that for you, doesn't he? I told him I thought so."

"I never thought about it, but yes," I admitted. "He makes me want to be a better... Wait - you told him that?"

"Yeah. This morning," Charlie said. "We had a talk." I turned off the running water and put down the sponge.

"You had a 'talk?' What did you talk about?" I inquired, now more curious than ever.

"You know…guy stuff." Charlie obviously wasn't going to divulge the apparently top-secret nature of their discussion, but I noticed the smile that peeked out from under his mustache. _So busted._

"Right…guy stuff," I muttered, shaking my head. "Well, I hope it was a good talk. I really like Edward, Dad, and I'd like to keep him around for a long time." The implication, though unspoken, was clear. Charlie nodded thoughtfully before answering.

"He's a good man, Bells. And he loves you."

The tears came so quickly as a result of Charlie's admission that I had to busy myself with my cleanup task in order to avoid becoming a blubbering mess. Edward had obviously shownmy father that he was worthy of me. _As if he had to make a case at this point._

"I know, Dad," I managed, my back still to him. "Thank you."

Edward entered the kitchen, cell phone in-hand, informing us that everyone was ready to come over "whenever the Swans were ready." Emmett had insisted on watching the parade, but even he couldn't deny his stomach's need for instant gratification by way of hors d'oeuvres. I called Esme, told them to come over, and then inspected the defrosted turkey. Edward made the stuffing and then Charlie and I managed to stuff the bird and slide it into the oven.

With the major task accomplished, the men retired to the living room and the parade while I hunted for table linens and nicer china. Thankfully, Charlie still possessed many of the items he and my mother had received as wedding gifts. Renee had moved on to bigger and better things, in her mind, and that included wedding presents, apparently. Hidden in the back of the hall closet I discovered an old tablecloth still in its packaging, matching napkins, and their unused china. I carefully washed each piece, examining the classic leaf pattern etched around the rim, accented by platinum edging. It was beautiful.

The table was set with the off-white linens, and the bone china made it look like quite the Thanksgiving affair. Hopefully Charlie wouldn't mind. And Emmett wouldn't break anything. A quick knock followed by an immediate "hello" signaled the gang's arrival.

"Happy Thanksgiving," Alice cried as she hugged Charlie and then Edward, before skipping over to me. "Time for the festivities to begin!"

Emmett immediately opened the oven door to inspect the turkey, which earned him a slap on the wrist from me and a smack on the back of the head from Rose.

"Don't let the heat out, Em, or it's not going to cook correctly," she admonished. "I'll find you a bear to eat or something." Carlisle, Jasper and Emmett shook hands with Charlie and Edward, exchanging pleasantries and asking how the fishing expedition had gone. Esme, Alice and Rose made themselves busy with the hors d'oeuvres. Within minutes, the previously quiet kitchen was buzzing with activity, laughter and smells. It was a delightful chaos.

Hours later, the kitchen counter was covered with colorful dishes: squash, stuffing, green bean casserole, bread, cranberry relish, mashed potatoes and a beautifully roasted turkey. Charlie, of course, did the honors and cut the bird. We formed a sort of buffet line and filled our plates. Once we were all seated, Charlie said grace.

"Dear Lord, thank you for the many blessings in our lives," he began. I squeezed Edward's hand gently as my dad continued. "Thank you for new and old friends, for loved ones and family. Amen."

"Let's eat!" Emmett exclaimed, reaching for the turkey leg on his plate. "Man, this turkey is better than sex! Great cookin,' Charlie!" Eight sets of eyes were at once on him - one set rather angry - but Emmett was too busy chewing to notice at first. He looked up, suddenly aware, and his mouth hung open, full of half-chewed food. "What? What'd I say?"

Charlie, to his credit, simply laughed a deep belly laugh and everyone else joined in. Emmett's face finally registered the implication of his comment, and he blushed furiously as Rose glared at him and punched him on the arm.

"Thanks, Emmett," my father said, adding, "I guess."

Once we were all stuffed and the wine and beers were exhausted, everyone helped package the left over dishes and turkey and then wash the dishes. Sluggish with full bellies, we all crashed on the couch, loveseat and on the floor in the living room while my father snored in his recliner. Edward sat on the floor, leaning against the couch, while I laid my head in his lap. As he ran his fingers lazily through my hair, I drifted to sleep.

"I love you, Isabella Swan."

His whispered voice floated to me on the breeze of my food-induced dream. I rolled over to look up at him; Edward's emerald green eyes were focused on mine as his fingers moved from my hair to my cheek. At that moment, there was no other place I'd rather have been.

"I love you, too, Edward Cullen," I said softly, adding, "with all my heart." He leaned over, bent at an awkward angle, and kissed me gently, holding my face to his. "You are one of my greatest blessings."

Instead of a reply, Edward kissed me again. Forgetting where I was for a moment, I wrapped my arms around him and pulled us closer together, savoring the taste of him on my tongue until Charlie's snores ceased. Breaking our kiss, Edward looked at my father and I followed his gaze. Charlie's eyes were still closed, but a hint of a smile played at the corner of his lips. As I sat up I took stock of everyone else; Rose and Emmett were seated on the loveseat and Emmett's arm was draped over Rose's shoulders. Esme's fingers were threaded through Carlisle's and next to them on the couch, Alice rested her head on Jasper's shoulder.

"Well, gang, I'm beat," Charlie said suddenly. He stood and that seemed to rouse the rest of us. "You guys feel free to stay here as long as you'd like or stay here if the drive back to the inn seems too long. We've had a long day." He shook hands with the guys - including Edward, who'd risen – and kissed the ladies on their cheeks. "It was a great Thanksgiving. Thank you all."

Thank you's and comments of agreement chorused around my father as he stooped to kiss me goodnight.

"Dad, thank you so much," I said. "This was the best Thanksgiving. Thanks for letting us have it here."

"'Course, Bells," he said, dismissing me with a wave of his hand. "It was…real nice. Night, all." Once the Swan family patriarch had retired, our friends decided to say their goodnights and depart. After making sure Jasper wasn't too tired to drive, I kissed and hugged them all with promises of making plans the following day. Edward and I watched from the doorway as they drove away, our arms wrapped around each other.

"Well, Ms. Swan, I'd say that Thanksgiving was a resounding success, wouldn't you?" Edward kissed me on the lips, and I melted into him. Now that the family frenzy had subsided, I wanted nothing more than Edward. Nothing.

"I completely agree," I murmured against his lips as I kissed him back vigorously, igniting the familiar fire within me that only Edward could extinguish. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pulled him down to me and closer still, greedily devouring him. It wasn't until he sighed into my mouth that I remembered we were making out in the kitchen. "Come with me."

Like an obedient puppy, Edward let me tug him upstairs - I was sure to avoid the places on the treads that creaked and instructed Edward to follow my lead - and down the hall to my bedroom. Once he closed the door behind him, Edward's mouth was back on mine with a renewed hunger that surprised me. He walked me backwards until my calves hit the little twin bed, and I pulled him down on top of me.

"Bella," he groaned, running his hand down my thigh and hitching it over his hip at the same time his lips wandered to my neck. My body was a live wire of need for Edward. A few days of little alone time together had apparently been too much for both of us. I grasped at Edward's button-down shirt, eager to find bare skin, and successfully rolled it off his shoulders before he took a moment to pull it off the rest of the way. While he did this, I yanked my purple turtleneck over my head.

"Please, Edward," I whimpered. Edward settled over me again, pressing his pelvis deliciously against mine as if in response. One hand pressed against my cheek as he kissed me, while the other cupped my breast, still covered by my bra. And when his fingers dipped inside the lace and touched my skin, I sucked in a ragged breath.

"Edward, I need you," I said, reinforcing my previous plea. My desire-muddled brain thought nothing of a sleeping Charlie down the hall or the mere fact that my bed was much too small for two. I had my sex-blinders on and was singularly focused at that moment as I reached for the button fly on Edward's jeans. But his hand stilled over mine as he kissed me, effectively halting my progress.

"Bella, love, we can't," he said with a grimace. Edward pressed his forehead to mine and attempted to slow his staggered breathing. "Trust me, I want to, but not like this. Not with your dad down the hall." Edward groaned once more and rolled off me, barely managing to stay on my bed. Knowing a loud thud would wake my father, I grabbed Edward to keep him from falling and moved to give him some room on the tiny bed. We lay face-to-face for some time, unwilling to go to sleep - alone. Overcome by a sudden sentimentality, I studied Edward's features as if it were my last opportunity - the copper highlights and auburn lowlights in his hair; the flecks of gold and blue in his green eyes; the faint wrinkles around his eyes and across his forehead that gave a hint of his age contrary to his otherwise boyish looks; the dark lashes that framed his soulful eyes; his full but not too-plump lips; and the symmetry of his facial structure.

"How did I get so lucky to have found you?" I asked absentmindedly, running my fingers through Edward's hair. I only had a second to feel embarrassed by my admission before Edward's voice calmed my panic.

"It's me who got lucky, Bella," he said, kissing me lightly. I started to scoff, but he shushed me and picked Pride and Prejudice off the floor. "So, I'm curious…why do you love this book? I mean, I get your love for great works of literature, and I certainly agree it's great, but you obviously love this one best. Why?"

"Well, I think mostly because Elizabeth and Darcy both have so much pride - Darcy in his station and disdain for anyone 'lesser' than him and Elizabeth in her own character - that it completely skews their perceptions of each other," I said. "I love Elizabeth's tenacity and her unwillingness to settle or be defined by marriage to a rich man. She resists Darcy, and he her, until they both realize how stupidly they've _both_ been acting. They are two very similar creatures, who in the end realize they are perfectly suited for one another. And likely no one else more so."

Edward smiled with my explanation and rolled onto his back, opening the book and flipping a through a few pages toward the end until he settled on a passage and read it.

"'You taught me a lesson, hard indeed at first, but most advantageous. By you, I was properly humbled. I came to you without a doubt of my reception. You showed me how insufficient were all my pretensions to please a woman worthy of being pleased,'" he read aloud.

I smiled, replying, "Smart man, that Darcy." Edward put the book down and rolled back to face me. Taking my face in his hand, he kissed me gently once, twice and then again.

"'I cannot fix on the hour, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation,'" I recited by heart. "'It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew what I had begun.'"

"Dad, we'll be back in a few hours, okay? Before dark, for sure," I called behind me as I threw the pack into the trunk of my car and shut the lid. Charlie smiled from the open doorway and winked at me as I got behind the wheel.

"Have fun!" he yelled before going inside.

My car knew the way to the trailhead in La Push; at this point it was second nature. Since my first visit to this place, I'd visited a number of times - some with my father and some alone. Today was special. Spring in the Olympic Peninsula was much like the rest of the year, with the exception of the twittering of birds and the aroma of thawing earth, and I reveled in the subtle changes of the season.

"What're you thinking about right now?" Edward asked from the passenger seat as he threaded his fingers through mine. "You have this look on your face." His eyes sparkled as he studied me. "I don't know. You look _different_."

Laughing at his observation, I squeezed his hand. My heart thumped quickly in my chest at the notion of my appearance having changed since the previous night. Silently, I both hoped that it was and _wasn't_ the case. "I was just thinking about spring and the last six months," I answered finally. "So much has happened, you know?"

Edward nodded silently, but I didn't need an answer from him to know the truth. He and I _had _been through a lot in the last six months. Soon after Thanksgiving, I'd made my departure from the Seattle office of Swan & Platte, and had been operating out of Portland since that time.

Christmas had been wonderful. Edward and I had spent Christmas Eve with the gang and Christmas Day and the weekend with Charlie. My father and Edward had actually developed a rather comfortable relationship, which pleased me to no end when I considered the future. Edward had given me a beautiful leather-bound journal with my initials embossed over the cover, along with a sleek Cross pen with my initials carved into its barrel. In turn, I had presented him with a year's free detailing for his Audi and tickets for us both to the upcoming U2 concert in Portland.

Edward and I had struggled to keep up our now semi-long-distance relationship, but our friends and family had been supportive. Most importantly, we were both committed to making it work. I had started seeing a therapist twice a month and for one of those visits every month, Edward and I went together. Work kept us busy, but we spoke every day by phone, at the very least, and I always kept my Friday night dates with the girls. The weekends were ours.

As I slowed the car to pull into the parking lot at the trailhead, my heart resumed its frantic gallop. _I hope Edward likes it._ We climbed out and Edward pulled the pack from the trunk, slinging it over his broad shoulders. We were dressed in layers and raincoats in preparation for the rainforest-like setting, but thankfully only a thick fog hung over the landscape. After packing our jackets in the pack, we started out into the lush, dense forest.

Since I was leading the way, Edward stayed a half-step behind me, but I could feel his breath as it blew wisps of hair across my cheek and hear every soft thud of his hiking boots. When I stumbled over a tree's roots, he was close enough to catch me before I fell. And when I reached the edge of the clearing and my heart hammered double-time in my chest, I was convinced he was close enough to hear it.

"Bella, you okay?" he asked as I paused to catch my breath. "You seem…nervous."

"Why on earth would I be nervous?" I squeaked, effectively blowing my cover. _It's only that this is a huge deal for me, and I'm not sure how you're going to react to any of it, Edward._ Grabbing his hand, I stood and urged him forward. "Come on. There's something I've been meaning to show you."

As we broke through the evergreens and into the clearing - _my meadow_ - I looked to my right to gauge Edward's reaction. His eyes grew wide at the odd sight of a clearing in the midst of a lush forest, but he kept walking and was now towing me toward the center.

"Bella, how did you ever find this place?" he asked finally, folding me into his arms as we stood there. While it surely wasn't yet at its natural apex, the grass was vibrant and wildflowers punctuated the sea of green with small white, lavender and yellow flashes. Besides, I couldn't wait any longer to show it to him. Edward looked all around us, seemingly in awe of the space. "It's amazing."

"I found it once last year, while I was visiting Charlie," I said, careful, now, not to avoid the pang I felt when I reflected on last fall or the reason for my visit. "You know, when we broke up. Charlie and I came out here, and this place, even in the fall, was incredible. It seems so separate from the rest of the world. Like a little bubble. It's special to me, and I wanted you to see it. I wanted to share it with you."

Edward kissed me fervently, hugging me against him tightly as he did so. He urged me to sit down so that I was straddling his lap and continued to hold me and kiss me. Not even the birds interrupted us; the only other sound was the occasional gust of wind. It swirled the pudding-like fog around us and moistened my face, the grass beneath us and every other texture within its reach. It felt as if time and space had forgotten this place; it was as if Edward and I were protected within the green walls of my sanctuary. _Our_ sanctuary.

"I love you," Edward said softly as he broke our kiss. His thumbs caressed my wet cheeks and I blinked the small water droplets off my eyelashes so I could see him clearly.

"Edward, I love you, too," I replied. "Move in with me." His stunned expression prompted me on. "I found two houses - one in Centralia and one in Longview. I'm sure there are more if you don't like them, but I figured that one of the two places is between Seattle and Portland and it would allow us to be closer to everyone…and each other, obviously. With my commute, we hardly see each other during the week and I miss you terribly. I know it's a big leap for us, but I think we're ready."

"I do, too," Edward said with a smile. "I think we're ready for lots of things." The inference wasn't lost on me, but I couldn't lose my nerve now that I'd found it. I told him that we'd find a realtor together and spend a few weekends looking at some of the homes in those towns. I told him I could put the house in my name or we could both sign the papers, if he wanted to. Edward agreed that we'd both own whatever house we ended up buying.

"Edward, there was something else," I said, trailing off. My heart thundered in my chest and this time I was certain he could feel it through the layers of clothing. His worried expression confirmed it. Trying to reassure him, I cradled Edward's face in my hands and kissed him. _Here goes nothing._ "I know this might sound a bit presumptuous on my part, but I want to say this before I lose my nerve. I love you completely, Edward. You are everything that is good and true in my life. You are my anchor. You make me better. You make me _want_ to be better." His expression softened and his lips found mine before I continued.

"I wouldn't be where I am without you, and I need you to know how much that means to me," I said, searching his eyes for the love I always found there. "And I want to be with you for the rest of my life." _Say something. Please, Edward. _So many emotions swept across Edward's face as he processed all that I'd said in the span of only a few minutes. His gaze never wavered from mine.

"Bella, I've known since we met that I'd marry you someday. You are my heart's true home."

For probably only the second time in my life, I was rendered speechless at Edward's declaration. And at the risk of ruining the perfect beauty of our words, I kissed Edward with all that I had, knocking him backwards and into the grass in the process. He rolled us over so I was under him, never breaking contact, and I wrapped my arms and legs around him, desperate to get closer. It was never close enough.

"Bella, will you let me do the proposing, though?" Edward asked jokingly as he pulled back slightly. "Not that I don't appreciate your taking the bull by the horns, so to speak…" I pushed him playfully back into the grass and kissed him with reckless abandon.

"Maybe," I teased. "Only if you surprise me."

"Oh, don't worry, love," he said slyly. "I will. I promise."

_A/N: So, I hope that you enjoyed the final chapter, and that you've come to love this version of Edward and Bella as much as I have enjoyed writing them. The two passages that E and B quoted were, of course, from Pride and Prejudice. No copyright infringement intended. _

_For those of you wondering, yes, there will be an epilogue to this story. For fear of losing my fingers – which I must keep in order to continue writing – I have acquiesced to my friends on that one. Please let me know what you thought of this. I love reviews as much as I love happy endings!_


	33. Chapter 33: Epilogue

_Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just decided it was time to shake things up a bit in her characters' world. And I wanted a bitchy Bella, so here we go! _

_Oh, and all of the references used in this story in relation to the advertising and marketing company and accounts are only used here for entertainment purposes; no copyright infringement intended._

_Thank you to the ends of the earth - Angelicwish, __Forever_Liz, and Barburella and Hez_Pixie. I couldn't have made it through this fic without you girls. I love you all. An extra big-ass boobie squish to Liz, who helped me work through this epi and get me out of my head. IFLY. And of course, all my love to Jennay, a RL forever friend who accepts me, fanfic and all._

_Well, it's been a wild and wonderful ride, hasn't it? I appreciate all of the love you've given me and this fic. Please know I appreciate every review, tweet, rec and note of encouragement, even if I haven't managed to respond to them all. Now, without further ado, the Epilogue._

_Follow me on Twitter, people! LauraLoo77_

**Epilogue**

_**BPOV**_

_**Six years later **_

Slowly backing the minivan out of the driveway, I kept one hand on the wheel while the other searched for a sippy cup that had rolled between the seats. When I couldn't find it right away, I pressed the brake to the floor and put the van in park. _Dang sippy cups._

"Evie, please try to hang onto this, okay sweetie?" I pleaded as I handed the cup back to my four-year-old. Her little fingers wrapped around the plastic and mine as she grinned at me. Nathan giggled from his car seat, kicking his feet and talking gibberish.

"Yes, Momma," she said. With a sigh, I put the van back into gear and then headed to the small grocery store in town. Once I pulled into a parking space, I quickly unbuckled Evie and then put Nathan on my hip as I held her hand. We slowly made our way inside and I put them both in a shopping cart. Evie insisted on sitting in the cart so she could help me sort the groceries.

It was often difficult to fathom that six years had passed since that wonderful spring in Forks, which had followed the first Thanksgiving with Edward. And now I was at the grocery store in Forks, again, buying provisions for our annual family Thanksgiving dinner. _Family._ The word had a much heavier meaning now.

True to his word, Edward had surprised me the day he proposed. He couldn't have shocked me more, in fact. Because right after I told him I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him - and he told me he'd always known he would marry me - he made good on his declaration. And asked me to be his wife right there, in the meadow.

"_Bella, will you let me do the proposing, though? Not that I don't appreciate your taking the bull by the horns, so to speak…" he had said._

"_Maybe," I had answered, teasing him. "Only if you surprise me."_

"_Oh, don't worry, love. I will. I promise." And then he stood, pulling me with him, and kissed me fiercely. Then he got down on his knee right there and pulled a ring out of his shirt pocket, offering me his heart and everything he had. Just like that._

"_Isabella Swan, I love you with everything that I am and everything that I have," he'd said, taking my hand in his. "Please do me the honor of becoming my wife."_

"_Yes," I'd managed, choking back tears. "Yes!"_

Our wedding had been intimate and perfect - a simple evening ceremony followed by dinner, drinks and dancing at Robinswood House in Bellevue with 40 of our closest friends and family. Rose, Esme and Alice, along with Emmett, Carlisle and Jasper, had stood by us as witnesses. Edward and I had both agreed that we were too old (in our 30s) for groomsmen and bridesmaids. Candlelight brought needed warmth and light to the darkness of the fall night, but I wouldn't have noticed if it had been snowing. In front of me stood the man I was about to marry; everything was right in my world.

Soon after the wedding, Edward and I found and purchased a small house in Longview, which was halfway between our two offices. It took my husband a while to adjust to his longer commute, but he was a trooper. Work was crazy for both of us, and I missed Edward's presence, but he was doing well as the interim VP, and Esme said she felt certain he'd make an able vice president someday, if he decided to pursue it. Edward was still undecided on that aspect of his career, and I couldn't blame him for it. One boss in the family seemed like enough to us.

Edward and I had enjoyed our time as a married couple, despite the demands on us from our careers, but it was a joyous surprise when I discovered I was pregnant that January. Evie was born in September (a week after my birthday) and Nathan was born three years later. Surprisingly, motherhood had fit like a perfect kid leather glove; Edward was a wonderful, tender and patient father.

Evie had been blessed with her father's auburn and copper hair. I hadn't the heart to chop her beautiful curls again after her first haircut, so now they hung in springy banana curls down her back. But she had my eyes - her papa's eyes - and my pale skin. Nathan somehow had been graced with blonde hair and his father's green eyes. The two of them looked so different, but still there was an undeniable resemblance that made it clear they were siblings…and ours. Instinctively my finger touched the smooth white gold band that was nestled next to my engagement ring.

_With you, I am home._ I could almost feel the engraved words against my skin.

Wet, half-gummed Cheerios hitting my face snapped me out of my daydream. Nathan peered at me with an impish grin as if he knew he'd caught his mommy red-handed. I removed a Cheerio from my coat lapel and handed it back to my son. He shoved it back in his mouth and showed me his only four teeth - two on top and two on the bottom.

"Evie, you're doing a great job of arranging the groceries for me," I remarked. Evie's face lit up as she explained that all of the green foods were together, all of the red foods were together, and so on. "That's very clever, sweetie."

"Bella?"

At the sound of his voice and the mention of my name, my head whipped around to find none other than Sam Uley – _again_. _You've got to be shitting me._ I chuckled to myself at the ridiculously slim odds that seemed to be in favor of us meeting. _Okay, okay. Point taken._

"Hey, Sam!" I turned and smiled at the familiar face and bright grin.

"Oh my God, Bella!" was all Sam said as he approached me and my mini entourage. "Um…you…they…who's this?"

"Sam, this is Evie and this little bundle of energy is Nathan," I said by way of introductions. "Evie, say hi to Mr. Uley. He and Momma knew each other when they were little kids."

"Hi, Mister Ooey," Evie said slowly, concentrating on her enunciation to no avail. Nathan babbled with his tongue hanging out of his mouth, a line of drool falling onto his coat. Sam laughed and I couldn't help but join him.

"Well, Bella, you've been busy, haven't you?" he asked me with a wink. "They're beautiful. God, how long has it been? Five, six years? What are you up to?"

"It's been six, actually," I replied, before giving him a brief update, including our wedding and the kids' entrances into our lives. Sam told me that Embry and Leah were teenagers and proving to be every bit as challenging as they'd feared. Emily was doing well and had a local art gallery that was showing her work for the next month. And Quil, born two days after our first meeting in the grocery store, was in first grade and appeared to have his mother's artistic talents.

"So, you couldn't stay away after all, could you?" Sam commented. "I'm glad, Bella. You look…well. Motherhood suits you."

"Thanks, Sam," I said. "And no, I couldn't. I missed Charlie too much, and well, this place is home to me, too. It was great seeing you." Sam paused before pulling me into his arms and while the gesture surprised me, it felt comforting. After a few moments I stepped back and grasped his hand.

"Good seeing you too, Bella," he replied.

"You, Emily and the kids should come over for pie, if you're free, tomorrow," I offered. I knew Charlie would like to see them and I wanted to introduce Edward to the Uleys. Sam told me he'd speak to Emily about stopping by and I scribbled the house phone number on a scrap of paper for Sam.

"Well, in case I _don't_ see you, have a Happy Thanksgiving, and please extend the sentiments to Charlie and your husband," he said. "Again, Bella, it was great to see you."

"You too, Sam, and Happy Thanksgiving." I waved and Evie said goodbye as he walked away from us and into the next aisle. "Okay, come on guys, Daddy and Papa are waiting for us. Evie, what else do we need?"

"Ummm…cranberries!" she cried, surveying the shopping cart's contents. After locating some cranberry sauce and ingredients for stuffing, we paid and made our way back home. Nathan thankfully fell asleep on the way home; he hadn't been sleeping well since we'd driven to Forks earlier in the week, so any napping - even in the car - was well-received. Evie, ever the well-behaved big sister, busied herself with picture books and remained quiet. As we turned the corner, I pulled out my cell phone and pressed send.

"Hello, love," the familiar velvet voice said. "How did they do at the store?"

"Hi, baby," I replied. "They were great, and you'll never guess who we ran into. I'll tell you when I get there, but I'm calling because Natey fell asleep. When I pull in, can you come out and get him, please?"

"Sure. ETA?"

"Thirty seconds. Love you. Bye." I hung up and dropped my phone into my purse without looking. Moments later I pulled into my father's driveway. Edward dashed out the front door, sans coat, and quietly opened the backseat door on Nathan's side. He blew a kiss to Evie and extracted our sleeping child from the car seat. Without waking him, Edward gathered him in one arm and grabbed two grocery bags with the other while I got Evie out of her seat. I gathered the remaining bag and our other belongings.

"Papa!" Evie cried, running into Charlie's arms as if they'd been parted for days instead of an hour. She peppered his face with kisses and ran her stubby fingers through his mustache while he twitched it for her. The two of them were quite the pair. While Edward was putting Nathan down, I unloaded the groceries and Evie reported to Charlie about our shopping expedition.

"Papa, I helped Momma shop and Nathan made a mess with his Cheeros," she said. "And we saw Mister Ooey, right Momma?" Charlie turned to me with an inquisitive look.

"We ran into Sam, Dad," I clarified. "He and I talked for a bit and I invited him, Emily and the kids over for pie tomorrow, if that's okay with you. Not sure if they'll actually come over, but…"

"That was nice of you, Bells," he said. "Of course they're welcome here. You know that."

"Okay, what'd I miss?" Edward came down the stairs and immediately wrapped his arms around my waist before kissing me. We only broke our kiss when my father's throat-clearing and Evie's giggles reminded us of where we were. "Sorry. How's my best girl?"

Our daughter bounded off Charlie's lap and wrapped herself around Edward's legs with a ferocity that took us all by surprise. Once he'd steadied himself, my husband peeled the gregarious four-year-old off him and threw her up in the air. Evie loved it when Edward tossed her, and her wild giggles filled the kitchen. I looked from the two of them to my father, who stood on the other side of the kitchen table, watching them both. His eyes shone with unshed tears, his face a mixture of pure love and happiness.

This was a picture of my life, summarized by love, affection, laughter, smiles and happy tears. It was far from perfect, of course, but it was mine and I loved it without hesitation, without pang of regret or unfulfilled potential.

"Okay, who's up for a movie before dinner?" Edward asked, ushering Evie out of the kitchen. I mouthed, "I love you," to him as he went, my father behind him. Within minutes, the sounds of "The Little Mermaid" filled the living room and all was quiet. With the kitchen to myself, I put away groceries and began cutting potatoes and squash, combined all of the dried stuffing ingredients and started a pot on the stove in which to stew the cranberries.

Nathan awoke, and Edward went upstairs to retrieve him without me having to ask. With the kids in the living room, I finished the cranberry sauce and put the dishes in the refrigerator. Once everything was prepared, I gathered bread, milk, eggs and the skillet and made French Toast - an old Swan pre-Thanksgiving tradition.

This year, our friends were all beginning their own traditions, and I smiled as I thought of them, wondering what they were all doing at that moment. Rose and Emmett, married the summer before us, had three little rug rats, all under the age of four. This year - tired of trekking two to different states in the span of a weekend, and with Rose pregnant with their fourth - the McCartys had made the executive decision to have their own Thanksgiving.

As for Alice and Jasper's whereabouts, Edward and I weren't exactly sure. We'd last heard from them when they hit Illinois earlier in the week, one of many stops on their cross-country RVing adventure. Alice had sent us a text informing us that they were planning to stop at the Lincoln Presidential Museum and the captured leg of Santa Anna. Quite the experience.

Esme and Carlisle had also married - the only thing we were surprised about was that they waited so long - three years ago, and had recently adopted a little girl from China. The process had been extremely taxing to them (and all of us as well), but Anna had been worth every moment of it, Esme always said. They would all be joining us tomorrow for dinner.

"Dinner, everyone," I called from the kitchen, rousing the two grown men and Evie from their movie. As they entered the kitchen, Evie, of course, took immediate note of the menu. She squealed and jumped up and down, her bronze curls moving like coiled springs.

"Toast! I love toast, Momma!" she cried, scrambling into her booster seat. Edward put Nate in his highchair as I dished out helpings.

"This isn't just _any_ toast, sweetheart," Edward said, taking his seat. "This is French toast. When you eat this, you turn into something French. Evie, can you think of something French?" I sat down and passed out toppings - sliced strawberries, bananas, syrup and whipped cream - waiting for Evie's answer. This, no doubt, was going to be interesting.

Our daughter furrowed her brow in deep concentration. Then my father offered "French fries" as a suggestion. Commenting that she didn't want to turn into a French fry, she resumed her deliberating as we hid our laughter behind napkins.

"Ooh – Fwench poodle!" she offered with a grin. Edward chuckled and told her that was a good answer. "What about you, Daddy?"

"Definitely a French kiss," he said quietly, grinning and winking at me. Charlie rolled his eyes and stuffed his mouth full of toast, while Evie, of course, demanded more information.

"Daddy, what's a Fwench kiss?"

"It's the kind of kiss that French people give each other," he said. "It's an extra special kind of kiss. It makes people who do it very happy."

"Have you ever given a Fwench lady one of those, Daddy?" Evie asked, quite intrigued. It took all of my willpower not to laugh at the two of them.

"No, but I've given a few to your Momma," he said slyly. Evie wrinkled her nose and giggled. "Someday…when you're very old, maybe someone will give you one." This time, I laughed at Edward's clear self-correction.

"No way! I don't want that kind or any kind of kiss, except for the kind you and Momma give me before bedtime," Evie stated with a nod. "Gwoss."

"Sounds good to me, sweetheart," Edward said, leaning over to kiss her head.

"I'll second that," my father chimed in.

The guys cleared the table for me and as Edward dropped the last of the dishes in the sink, he wrapped himself around me and began nibbling my neck. He always said there was something erotic about me doing the dishes; I was certain he was simply placating me, and teased him often for it.

"Mmmm, you smell delicious," he murmured against my neck before gently sucking on the skin there.

"Yeah…like maple syrup?" I said sarcastically. "I dabbed a bit behind my ears before dinner. Thought it would drive you crazy."

"Baby, _you_ drive me crazy - just you. No syrup - or anything fancier, for that matter - needed," he said softly, licking a small, wet trail up to my earlobe with the tip of his tongue. I rolled my eyes as my body burst into flames, his obvious erection pressed against my ass. Edward _never_ failed to set me afire. All my sex-addled brain could process now was how long it would take to run upstairs and get Edward's clothes off before anyone would notice. _Give me five minutes. That's all I need. _

Nathan's babbling from his highchair brought us both crashing back to earth, and with a sigh, I turned and kissed my husband. He laughed, knowing exactly what I was thinking, and kissed me back before stepping away from me to extract Nate from his chair.

"Foiled again, eh, Mrs. Cullen?" he joked, balancing Nate in one arm.

"Next time, Mr. Cullen," I replied, winking at him. "When I get you alone later, you'd better prepare yourself."

"Warning read, loud and clear," he said with a ridiculously devilish grin. "Love you."

"Love you, too."

Edward collected Evie - much to her chagrin - and got both kids ready for bed, before settling them back in the living room with Charlie to watch the rest of The Little Mermaid. After cleaning up the kitchen in the peaceful silence - my father and Edward had cooking duty with Carlisle on Thanksgiving - I poured myself a cup of wine and sat at the table for a moment. It would be so nice to see Carlisle, Esme and Anna tomorrow, and immediately my heartbeat quickened and my stomach fluttered at the idea of having more happy noise in the Swan house. I laughed aloud at my own amazement at our family. We'd come so far. So much had changed.

Who would have ever known that, on the day Edward walked into that office and my life, things would never be the same? I'd been content with my life - at least I'd thought so - but there had been so much more - so many more experiences that I'd been pushing away out of fear. For all of the planning I'd done, my life had been so hollow before Edward. An imitation of a happy life, and a poor one at that. Even from that first day, Edward had revived me, in so many ways. He challenged me, infuriated me, and brought the best (and the worst) out in me. But most importantly, he'd forced me to look inward for the first time, and to reconcile the fragments of myself that I saw there. Edward had given me the tools and the strength to put myself back together.

After refilling my wine glass, I shut off the kitchen lights and walked into the living room. The light of the television flickered against the walls and cast soft light upon the faces of my loved ones. I wished I had a camera.

Charlie was in the recliner with Evie on his lap, her entire body limp with deep slumber against his. My father was snoring quietly, his mouth agape, with a small but unmistakable smile etched in his features. Evie's peaceful face mirrored his and as I leaned over to kiss her forehead, I heard soft snores coming from her as well. _She's her papa's girl._ Without hesitation, I reached out and skimmed the sleeve of her yellow duckie fleece pajamas, my fingers ghosting over her little ones.

I put my wine glass on the mantle and turned to the couch, where my husband and Nathan were sleeping soundly. Edward was sitting on the end of the sofa, his head lolled at an odd angle, using the armrest to cushion his arm as he cradled the sleeping infant against his chest. Nate's leg and arm hung beyond the confines of Edward's embrace, one pant leg of his rocket ship pajamas scrunched up to his knee. But I knew there was no danger of Edward losing his grip on our son. His large hand was resting against Nathan's heart, as if keeping watch even in sleep.

_Dear eyes, good night,_

_In golden light_

_The stars around you gleam;_

_On you I Press_

_With soft caress_

_A little lovely dream._

Unwilling to let one second of this precious picture pass me by, I quickly grabbed a blanket from the couch and arranged it over Evie and Charlie, before turning back to the other two and arranging another throw over them. As I dipped to kiss Edward's lips, he woke, mumbling incoherent things with his eyes still closed. I shushed him and then his lips seemed to awaken as he returned the gesture.

"Go back to sleep, love," I said. Quickly, his breathing became steady once more and I ran my fingers through his messy, copper hair before standing again. Taking my wine glass from its perch, I smiled at the people sleeping contentedly before me. The room, despite being quiet save for the sounds of breathing, burst at the seams with the raucous joy of life and love. Or maybe it was me bursting; I couldn't tell the difference now.

Chuckling softly to myself, I raised my wine glass and said, "Well, here's to strategy."

_A/N: Okay, so big, HUGE ridiculous love to all of you who've followed, commented on, reviewed, tweeted about and loved this fic! It's been great and part of me is sad to see this end. The poem excerpt from this chapter is from "Cradle Song" by Sarojini Naidu. No copyright infringement intended – only flattery. _

_If you'd like to check out E and B's wedding venue, go here: .com/the-properties/robinswood-house/ and thank you all! _


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